Page 35

Kerainne

Present

I spent the next two days hiding in my room like a coward.

After finally telling Lucian about the miscarriage, I felt both emotionally drained and somehow lighter for unloading that deep hurt that I’d held secretly for so long.

All those centuries, I’d been afraid Lucian would be angry with me and break up with me forever instead of the on and off dance we’d been doing before.

In the cruelest irony, my successful pregnancy did that job.

And now that I’d confessed that hidden shame, not only did he react completely opposite from what I’d expected, he also admitted to his wrongness and still wanted to get back together. Fates help me, I was tempted.

So I hid. And when being cooped up became unbearable, I made a vow to myself to avoid Lucian until I figured out what I was going to do about his refusal to give up.

At first, my mission was easy, because Del sent him back to Luminista for a few days, on a mission to try to recruit more luminites to join us in the war.

Remembering all the times he spoke against getting involved with other worlds, I was stunned that he’d not only involve himself, but that he’d make an effort to convince more people from our elite home realm to dirty their hands.

And then there was the note he’d sent me, attached to a bouquet of lilacs:

I’m going to Luminista, but this time it’s to help you, not to spite you. This is part of my atonement and I am not going anywhere.

I was starting to believe he had actually changed. And that kind of thinking could lead me to having my heart broken again.

Thankfully, Harvest Feast was tomorrow, so I was able to put the lilacs in a time stasis container—I still wanted to be able to smell them later—and leave for Kinsen to help the duchess prepare her celebration.

And on the big day, I was able to enjoy being surrounded by friends, family, and delicious food.

I only missed Lucian when it was time for dancing.

The next day, as if sensing my need for space, Zareth sent me on a diplomatic visit to Wurrakia to find out more about the lord who Aylmer had executed for treason and to find out if the lord’s imprisoned daughter was indeed also guilty.

If she was, I was to take her into my custody so Zareth could question her.

“I’m sorry to send you to there in such a cold time of year,” my son in law said, “but after Aylmer allied with my brother and invaded Laran, I don’t completely trust him.

Especially given that he never notified me that anyone in his lands had committed alleged treason.

I’m the King, not him, and I should be the one who decides what is and isn’t treason. ”

Though part of me regretted telling him about that bit of gossip, I agreed that this situation bore investigating.

I’d just hoped that Zareth would have sent anyone but me.

In retrospect, it was a foolish assumption.

I truly was the best choice of ambassador, not only for Wurrakia, who’d always revered luminites, but for this particular mission, which involved asserting the monarch’s authority and looking into the wellbeing of a young woman.

But Wurrakia held my third-most painful memories.

The secret trauma that only Nik, and now Lucian, knew about.

There was no way I’d tell Zareth about that, so I packed my things and teleported over to the strange kingdom that was backward in all things except for healing magic.

In that respect, they were the best in Aisthanesthai…

yet even they couldn’t help me that awful day.

I shook off the thought as I released my wings and flew toward the city walls of the capitol. The guards bowed to me reverently before opening the gates and summoned four knights to escort me to the castle.

Lord Aylmer was welcoming to the point of obsequious, though a bit of his mask slipped when I stated my purpose.

“It has come to our attention that you’ve executed someone for treason,” I stressed the plural. “The crown wonders why we were not notified by you personally. We’d also like to know precisely what treason was committed.”

Aymer’s eyes widened with a flash of fear before narrowing to the usual craftiness I’d seen at Conclave meetings…

of which he hadn’t bothered attending the last two.

“I beg your forgiveness, Queen Mother. The oversight was not intentional. The previous king, Taranis, had granted Wurrakia a writ of sovereignty stating that what happens within Wurrakia’s borders would remain Wurrakia’s business. ”

“Excluding war crimes, living rights violations, and treason,” I countered.

“Every territory in Aisthanesthai received the same document. Including Medicia.” I softened my tone.

“However, perhaps you were accustomed to Taranis’s lack of care for the world in the last years of his rule.

And then those times without a ruler before the new king was crowned. ”

“Yes!” Aylmer latched onto my justification eagerly. “That’s precisely it.”

I smiled sweetly. He was right where I wanted him. “Therefore, I am inclined to urge the King to forgive your oversight if you cooperate with my investigation.”

“Thank you, Queen Mother. I am grateful for your mercy and wisdom.”

Don’t thank me yet , I thought.

Sure enough, Zareth’s forgiveness and my mercy would be difficult to bestow once I learned that the treason the already executed Lord Cregan had committed had aided Mephistopheles on his attack on Wurrakia six months ago.

“When did you learn of this betrayal?” I demanded.

Something in my eyes must have revealed my rage, for he cowered. “A month after the attack! But I still had to allow time for an inquest and fair trial. Cregan Goshawk was one of my strongest allies. His daughter was betrothed to my son, for fates’ sake!”

“Hmmm.” I wanted to rail at him for withholding information that could have helped prevent future attacks.

For executing this Lord before finding out how he’d contacted the Evil One and just what aid he’d given that enabled the attack, but it was best to leave that up to Zareth. “And what of the girl?”

“Though the inquest found her innocent of the conspiracy, her reputation is still tainted as a traitor’s daughter, therefore I cannot wed her to my son.

” At my sharp look he flinched and rushed on in a placating tone.

“But I’ve made her my ward and will arrange a suitable marriage for her so she may regain her honor. ”

I shuddered inwardly at the mention of arranged marriages.

They almost always did more harm than good.

However, Wurrakia was rather backward when it came to gender roles and, for the most part, a woman needed to be married to be able to have respect, status, and assets.

There had also been a few advances from the last time I’d been here, such as women being able to become knights, men being allowed to become healer mages, and, most recently, same sex marriage being permitted.

Still, I wanted to make sure this girl would be as safe as I could. “Does she have the option to join the Mothers and Sisters of Medicine?”

“Of course!” Aylmer said far too quickly for comfort. “That was the first choice she was given!”

I nodded, realizing something. The Mothers and Sisters were a sect of healers so dedicated to their work that they forsook marriage and many worldly goods, such as lands and manors.

Instead living in communal campuses attached to their hospitals.

Normally, if a woman or girl did own property, it was given to the sect to generate income for their living expenses and hospitals. But in this situation…

“I assume you seized her father’s lands and assets?”

Aylmer crossed his arms over his chest. “That is my right as ruler here.”

“Of course,” I waved my hand in a placating gesture. “I was only wondering whether the girl’s hand will go to a knight you wish to reward or if you’ll have to command a reluctant one to take her.”

The Wurrak lord’s eyes narrowed. “And what business is it of yours?”

I maintained a diplomatic smile. “Very little, so long as you select a man who she can truly be safe with. One who could protect her. I imagine with her father’s crimes, many people unfairly blame her and are inclined to be cruel to her.”

“So you do understand how delicate this situation is.” Aylmer rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“And with her having been betrothed to my heir, my people are even more outraged that she’s a traitor’s daughter…

however, I cannot fob her off on a loutish commoner, as that would reflect poorly on my choosing her for Gerard before we learned of her father’s crimes. ”

“Ah.” Why did so many people insist on blaming a person for someone else’s wrongdoings? Sins of the father , the Christians on Earth named it. A phrase that came to mind after Lucian failed me. “So you must punish her, though not too much.”

“Exactly.” Aylmer nodded vigorously as if wanting me to praise him for this. “I wish the blasted chit would have accepted my offer to send her to the Mothers and Sisters. She would have gotten her blue robes back quickly and regained respect even sooner.”

As one who’d had her own taste of confinement, I felt I could understand this girl. And fates knew it had to be miserable being under the same roof as her former betrothed. “May I meet her?”

Aylmer sighed. “Very well.”

Unfortunately, the young lady was out for her afternoon horseback ride. The last thing I wanted to do was deprive her of what little fresh air she was permitted.

“Perhaps another time,” I said, suddenly eager to leave this place. “I’m afraid I have many obligations at home. However, there is a chance that the king may wish to question her about what she knew of her father’s activities, so she’d best remain alive, healthy, and accessible.”

With that, I transported myself home.

The moment I stepped back in the tower, I sighed with relief.