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Brynla

I wake up to my aunt’s scream, the razor-sharp sound slicing through my dreams and right into the marrow of me.

I hurl myself out of bed, no time to think, only time to act.

In the fading light of a flickering torch I throw on a gauzy tunic to cover my nudity, grab my closest ash-glass sword, and then I’m racing out of the room.

And into complete chaos.

Lemi’s barks fill the air, but he’s nowhere to be seen.

Instead I see my aunt on the ground, a sword sticking straight out of her chest, her screams dying to a gurgling sound that I know will haunt my nightmares for the rest of my life.

I run to her in a panic, to the foreign man in black trying to pull the sword out of her chest. Andor has picked up a stool and is racing toward three other men who are bursting in through the door.

In a blur of movement, Andor snaps the legs off the stool with his bare hands, then grasps them like jagged spears, ducking as the assailants lunge at him.

Lemi appears suddenly behind one of the men, jumping up at his back and knocking him to the ground, his jaws snapping at the man’s head.

I look back down at my aunt, at the blood pouring out of her chest as the man grasps the sword.

Hysteria overwhelms me, and before I can think, I quickly raise my sword, stabbing it through the back of the man’s neck just as he looks up.

The blade pierces through the skin and bone with a sickening stab that vibrates up my arms, and the man falls down dead next to me.

The first man I’ve ever killed.

There is no time to feel anything.

“Brynla!” Andor yells, and I look to see him stab someone with the stool leg while one of the other men comes at me, two knives drawn and glinting in the torchlight.

Lemi disappears and then reappears right in front of me, his heavy body between me and my attacker.

I scream for Lemi to move as the knives slash toward him and he disappears, the action creating enough of a distraction for the man to lose his focus.

I take the opportunity to brandish my sword and with a scream I swing it through the air with all my might until it slices across the man’s throat, nearly severing his head clean off.

He slumps to the ground beside the other dead man and then Lemi reappears beside Andor, helping him take down the last remaining assailant.

I should get up and help him, but I feel like I’m moving through water now.

At least Andor now has the upper hand as Lemi causes the man to drop his weapon and Andor has him pressed against the wall, blade at the man’s temple.

“Who do you work for?” Andor growls, a vein throbbing at his temple. “Who sent you?”

He pulls the man’s mask down and the man grins at him. Pale skin, yellow hair. I’ve never seen him before and I don’t have time to care.

I look back to my aunt and feel my world start to fall apart, like the thin threads of reality that were holding me together are starting to disintegrate.

I collapse on the ground beside her and pull her into my arms, taking the edge of my tunic and pressing it against the wound where blood rushes out like a crimson river.

“You’re going to be okay,” I tell her, my voice shaking. She stares up at me with glassy eyes, an emptiness inside them that seems to be spreading. “We’re going to make sure you’re okay.”

I look over at Andor, who is still threatening the man, hoping he can save my aunt.

He has to.

I saw him bring Lemi back to life; I know that’s what happened. He took my pain away. He was young when he couldn’t save his own mother, and maybe her illness was too much, but my aunt is strong and it’s just a wound, it can heal, she can be saved.

“Andor,” I whisper, holding my aunt tighter. “Andor, you can save her.”

He pauses briefly, finding me from the corner of his eye, but then he growls at the man. “Tell me who sent you or I’ll drive this dagger right into your tiny little brain.”

The man smiles at him like he knows Andor will kill him.

Like he wants that.

We will get no answers.

And it doesn’t matter anyway.

“Andor!” I say again, louder now. “Please! Save her!”

Andor sneers at the man, his face going red, the knife’s tip starting to shake against the man’s temple. “Tell me!”

“Andor!” I call out again. “He’s never going to tell. Just kill him and help me! Please, she’s dying!” I’m yelling now, the sound coming out of me like some awful rabid beast.

Andor relents for a moment, looking down at the ground with a small shake of his head, and I fear he’s about to let the man go. But then he lets out an anguished roar, pulling back enough to drive the rest of the dagger into the man’s head.

I look back down at my aunt to see that her eyes are no longer just glassy.

They are still.

They are blank.

She’s staring at the ceiling, at nothing.

There is nothing.

“No!” I scream, squeezing her shoulders so hard that I know it must hurt.

But she doesn’t react.

She is stillness.

She is death.

Lemi walks over slowly, sniffing my aunt’s feet, then lies down beside her, ears back, letting out a mournful whimper that nearly shakes the whole house.

This can’t be it.

“Ellestra,” I whisper to her, giving her a shake. “Auntie. Please. Come back. We can save you.”

But the tears fall from my eyes and splash onto her face and she is so, so still.

“I’m sorry,” Andor says. He sounds like he’s in another world, but he’s standing behind me. I feel his presence and I’m angry. Angry he wasn’t quicker. He should have killed that man right away and maybe he would have had time to save her.

But the anger sparks and flames and burns inside me, and it morphs into hatred for myself.

Because this is my fault.

This is all my fault.

“Brynla,” Andor says gently. He places his hand on my shoulder as he crouches down beside me, but I barely feel it, barely hear him.

“Brynla, I am so sorry. It happened so quickly. There was a knock at the door and she told me to stay where I was in the kitchen. I heard the voice, she seemed to know the man but there was something off and by the time I got to the parlor…”

“She’s gone,” I whisper, brushing my aunt’s hair off her face.

I’ve never seen her still before, not even in sleep.

She was always scowling, always moving, always busy with something.

She didn’t suffer fools and at times she was tough to love, but I loved her all the same.

She saved me from the Daughters of Silence, she saved me from ending my own life when I realized nothing would bring my father or my mother back.

I wouldn’t be here without her and now…now she’s gone.

It’s not fair at all.

She brought me into her life and I brought death into it.

“I know, I’m sorry,” he says again. but all the apologies and words and platitudes in the world won’t bring her back.

Fuck. Fuck.

This can’t be real. It can’t be.

His grip on my shoulder tightens. “But whoever sent those people after her meant for them to get to us. To you. We have to leave.”

I shake my head and press my lips against my aunt’s forehead. She already feels cold. She shouldn’t, she should still feel warm, and yet it feels like everything that made her fiery has faded away.

“We have to leave, Brynla. Now. You, me, and Lemi. They are coming for us.”

“You don’t even know who,” I whisper. I stare into her open eyes, willing her to come back to life. My aunt had ingested suen at some point; she was strong and fast, wasn’t it possible that the substance and power could fight through death and bring her back to life?

“It doesn’t matter,” he says. “It’s either House Dalgaard or it’s Esland. Whoever they are, they want you dead. There will be more in their wake. We have to go. Now.”

I shake my head. “And I’m not leaving. I’m not leaving her.”

“Brynla,” he says, his voice hard as he gets to his feet.

“I’m not leaving her!” I scream, whipping my head around to stare up at him.

He’s staring down at me, brows furrowed, eyes sad, and the memory of us together last night visits me like a butterfly, a gentleness that drifts away, buried by anger and grief.

None of that matters now. Nothing matters now.

He grows blurry in my vision as the tears fall.

But I’m not going anywhere.

“I’m staying with her,” I manage to say, my mouth thick. “I’m not leaving her. She might come back to life at any moment. You might still be able to save her.”

I look back down at her, hoping that maybe she’s moved, showed some sign of life.

But her body just feels heavier now.

“I’m not leaving her,” I say again. “You go. Go back to your ship, back to your land and your family. She was the only family I had. I must stay with her.”

“You’ll die if you do,” he says imploringly. “They’ll kill you. They’ll kill Lemi too.”

“I’d like to see them try,” I say, though that last part hits deep inside. I don’t care if they do kill me, whoever they are, but I don’t want Lemi to die.

“Take him with you,” I say. “Take Lemi with you, please.”

“He’ll never leave your side,” he says. “Just like you’ll never leave your aunt’s.”

I nod, trying to swallow.

This can’t be real. This must be a bad dream. I must still be asleep.

“But you know that I won’t leave you either,” he continues. He walks across the room and I look up, watching him disappear around the corner.

He can stay if he wants. Part of me wants to be that selfish, to ask him to.

Maybe we can fight off the next wave of attackers.

After all, there are four dead men here, four assassins that we managed to take down.

We could stay and fight and I could give my aunt the proper burial and respect she deserves.

She doesn’t deserve to be left behind, even in death.

Time doesn’t seem to pass the way it should. Everything seems to dwindle down to just me and my aunt and I know I can’t let go of her, not now, maybe not ever. I can just sit here with her and be and as long as I can do that, then she’s never really dead, never really gone.

“Brynla,” Andor says, and I realize he’s come back into the room. He stands beside me and I tear my gaze off my aunt and glance up at him.

Sorrow furrows his brow, his eyes wet at the corners.

“Stay with me,” I tell him. “Don’t leave me. Promise you won’t leave me.”

“I promise I won’t leave you,” he says, his voice rough with determination.

Then he crouches low beside me and before I know what’s happening, he’s stabbed a needle into my arm.

The shock of his action registers before the pain does.

I yelp, the sound strangled, and try to move away from him but my aunt’s body is suddenly too heavy.

“What did you do?” I cry out, twisting futilely, while Lemi gets up and delivers a low, threatening bark aimed at Andor.

“I had to,” Andor says, holding the needle out as if he might do it again.

“It’s the only way I’ll be able to get you out of here.

” He glances at Lemi warily. “I know you’re just a dog, but you have to let me do this, for her own good.

Don’t make me use this on you too. I don’t know how I’ll be able to smuggle a girl and a dog out of here. ”

I blink at him slowly and try to speak, but no words come out. The room starts to spin.

No , I think. He can’t have drugged me. He wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t take me away from here, from my aunt.

But from the apologetic look on his brow, watching as I slump to the floor, I know that’s exactly what he plans to do.

“You’ll wake up on the boat, safe and sound,” he says to me, his voice echoing and becoming farther away as my eyes close. “I’m not about to lose you and I promised I wouldn’t leave.”

Then all sound ceases.

And everything is black.