Page 42 of Ravage God

Impossible.

Yet, I couldn’t help the way my heart started to thud heavily in my chest, almost painfully in a way.

What was going on?

My eyes strayed down to his lips, and not for the first time, I wondered how he would taste. I wondered what a kiss with him would feel like. I licked my lips. He made a low sound in the back of his throat before pulling away from me first, leaving me feeling cold.

“Go get ready, sweetheart.”

I could only nod, feeling my face flame from the subtle rejection.

Great.

So much for trying to get over my feelings. Why couldn’t I just…notlike him anymore? Why him? Out of all the men in the world, why did it have to be him and not someone more… approachable and emotional?

I shut the door to my room and headed straight for the bathroom. I avoided my face in the mirror as I brushed my teeth, trying to scrub the taste of night-old alcohol from my tongue, briefly wondering if he turned away from me because my breath didn’t smell all that great.

And while that could certainly be a factor, I knew for a fact he rejected me because he didn’t have any feelings for me.

I tried to push the thoughts away as I hopped into the shower, letting the scalding hot water wash down my skin, hoping it would make my head clearer, and perhaps, somehow, just erase all the memories of last night fromeverybody’sminds.

It didn’t work—not that I had expected it to, and I knew sooner or later, I would have to go back out and face Elio again.

I closed my eyes and thought back to his face when we were standing so close to each other.

I didn’t imagine that look, did I?

I might not have as much experience as other women around my age, but I knew when a man was interested in me. Though I wouldn’t say Elio was interested in an obvious way, there had definitely been a spark in his eyes that hadn’t been there before.

And he had looked at methismorning, especially, when I had no makeup on, with barely any sleep, and was very obviously hungover.

Or maybe I finally broke. Perhaps I was projecting. Perhaps I had wanted this thing for so long that my mind decided to give me a small taste of it, even if it was a lie.

I kept my eyes closed and my thoughts on him.

I had spent so long studying Elio, I was sure I could make him out simply by touch alone.

I knew every mark and every scar on his face, including the small horizontal one beneath his jaw that he had gotten when he was younger, probably from some of those fights he and Valentino used to get into.

While Elio wasn’t as wild as his younger brother, Matteo, or as volatile as Massimo was when he was younger—from what I had heard, he wasn’t exactly calm or collected, like his third brother, Romeo.

He was a unique combination of all his brothers, and something—someone—I was wholly fascinated by, even after all the years I had spent in his life.

I moved my head under the spray of the water, closing my eyes just as Elio’s face popped in and out of my mind.

My hands moved of their own accord, my skin feeling highly sensitive wherever I touched, especially when I could so clearly recall that look in the kitchen.

In my fantasy, he didn’t turn me away. He didn’t pull away from me.

I imagined him wrapping his arms around my waist and hauling me close to his hard body. I imagined the feel of hishardness against me, the contrasting softness that just about had me coming undone right before he bent his head down and kissed me.

I imagined what his lips might have tasted like.

I didn’t have any reference to go by, so it was hard to grasp, but still, I could feel my heart pounding over the imagery alone.

I imagined the hard press of his lips against mine as he pulled me in closer and closer until there wasn't even an inch of space separating us.

I let my hand move down, my stomach dipping from the sensation, just before I cupped myself between my legs.