Page 135 of Raise Me Up

He pecks a kiss to the top of my head. “Strong on the inside, too.”

“Love you, big bro.”

“Love you, too, sis. Best Christmas ever.”

“I’d say we should make it a tradition, but with you and your damn touring, it’s probably not going to happen.”

He ruffles my hair. “Oh, we’ll make it happen. Long as you keep making gingerbread cookies.”

I smack his arm away but then settle against him again, content to soak up the evening with the people I love the most.

thirty-nine

Liam

He knows.

Amber eyes swirled with hurt meet mine as Hail steps out onto the back patio with me.

I’m not sure we ever stood a chance of hiding this. Not when I can’t keep my eyes off Beau and Stas. They move, and I react. It’s a magnetic pull I have zero control over.

If it wasn’t obvious at the studio, I definitely blew our cover tonight. Beau brings out a playful side of Stas I’m not capable of tapping into, and Stas gives Beau the physical affection he craves.

Where I’m deficient, they fill in the gaps.

We fit. It’s a fact. One that won’t change just because Hail may not like it. And while I dread the possible shift in our friendship, I refuse to give them up.

“Thought you’d be out here smoking,” he says, coming over to lean against the railing with me.

“Quit.”

“Good. I was afraid I caused your addiction when I bought that pack to smoke on a hotel roof, and you tried chain smoking it.”

“Didn’t want you fucking up your lungs.”

Hail lets out a soft laugh. “You’ll do anything to take care of me, huh? I know you’ll do the same for Stasi.”

Chest tightening, I peek over at him. Sadness still clings to him. “Then why do you look like that?”

He runs a hand along the back of his neck. A nervous tick of his. I know his every tell. Spent years cramped on buses and in hotel rooms with him, sweating and bleeding for our dreams. Well,hisdream. All I ever wanted was for Hail to be on top.

But now, I have dreams of my own, and they involve waking up next to two beautiful souls every morning.

“I’m hurt you didn’t talk to me. Like… how long has this been going on? As long as Stasi’s been with Beau? I’m not trying to be needy or anything, but you’re my best friend, and you’ve had some rough days recently, and then Beau’s health… that must have been really hard…”

Surprising pressure builds behind my eyes, threatening tears I haven’t spilled since god knows fucking when. “You’re worried about me.”

“Yeah.” Somehow his reply is worse than a lecture or a fist to the jaw for fucking his sister. It leaves me reeling. I expected a little anger. At the very least, words of warning from a protective twin. He and Stas are a team. A packaged deal. If I hurt her, I hurt him, too.

Casting my gaze out at the night sky, I shake my head. “You’re a fucking anomaly, Hail Koval.”

He laughs. “Is that a compliment?”

“Always.”

The mood settles back into something comfortable. A companionship formed over two decades of friendship. Something that runs deeper than blood.

“I spent a lot of years convinced I wasn’t what anyone needed. Beau and Stas…they’re showing me otherwise. I wasn’t keeping secrets with the intention of hurting you, but I wanted to be respectful of Stas’s wishes to stay quiet. Shit with your family isn’t good. It’s been stressing her out.”