Page 124 of Raise Me Up

I nod, hating the prickle of tears in my eyes. I don’t want to cry. I don’t want to make Beau more upset. So, I have to do better. I have to keep my chin up. I have to ignore the shit my parents are trying to stir up and be strong for my men.

“You need a break. Why don’t you get out of the house? Make a coffee run,” Liam suggests.

I glance in Beau’s direction.

“I’ve got him.”

“He’s due for his anti-seizure meds in an hour,” I reply.

“I know.”

“He hasn’t eaten much today.”

“I’ll start grilling pork chops as soon as you walk out that door.”

“You’re going to grill out in the cold?”

Carefully, he slides me off the counter and molds our bodies together. “The cold doesn’t scare me. And I’ll have you back here soon enough to warm me up.”

Biting down on a smile, I push up on my toes to kiss him. He trails his mouth over to my ear and murmurs, “Stay right here.”

Confused, I watch him disappear down the hall. Keys jingle, followed by the garage door opening. He returns a few minutes later with a black Atonement hoodie.

“Car is warming up,” he says, motioning for me to lift my arms.

When I do, he tugs his hoodie over my head. I breathe in the fresh scent of his laundry detergent.

“Thank you. Cold brew or latte?”

“Surprise me.”

Slipping into the dining room, guilt prods at me as I take in Beau’s sad form. He hasn’t moved from the keyboard.

I wrap an arm around his shoulders and kiss his cheek. “I’m gonna run a quick errand. Liam’s home, okay?”

He turns to kiss me fully, and I almost cancel my little adventure. This is stupid. I’ve been waiting hours for the three of us to be together. Why does it feel like I’m running away?

Because I’m no good to either of them in this state.

“Be careful, sweetheart,” Beau breathes on my lips.

Before I can change my mind, I hop into my toasty car and drive to the nearest coffee shop.

As soon as the drive-thru employee hands me three giant caramel lattes, I pull into a parking spot and take a long drink.

I wait for a rush of dopamine to hit, but when that first sip feeling never comes, I drop my head into my hands and force a couple of deep breaths.

Everything feels heavy right now. Beau's mental state. The inevitable break up of my family.

The thought pops in my head to call Hail, but I don’t want to keep bugging him when I’m having a rough day. Especially when I know I’ll just end up venting about dad’s text, and he couldn’t care less about our parent’s opinions.

Ryan might entertain my mood. However, I’m not sure we’re at that level of friendship yet. We haven’t done anything outside of brunches, which we’ve missed since Beau’s surgery.

And Emma’s busy running a studio like a badass. Though she did manage to sneak out one afternoon to get another manicure with me.

Thereisone person who might be able to snap me out of this, if she’ll even open her door to me.

I haven’t visited Iris once. She probably assumes I abandoned her like everyone else in her life.