Page 110 of Racing Heat

It’s now game day and we’re getting ready for our game against the Racing Louisville. I almost wish it would have been an away game. It’s hard to be at home right now. I can still see her all over the house. Lying in my bed, out on the patio, or even sitting at my kitchen island. It doesn’t seem to matter how many times I wash the sheets; I can still smell her on them. I’m sure it’s not her scent I’m getting but the memories of the way she looked sprawled out on them.

“Coach, are you paying attention?” Hendrix calls to me.

Fuck, no, I wasn’t. I’m here on the pitch trying to help the girls warm up and my head is not in this game.

Hendrix walks over to me and drops her voice so low that only her and I can hear. “You’ve gotta get your head out of your ass and coach us. You’ve fucked over my friend, but you’re the one who got to keep your job, so do it, please.” She smiles sweetly at me when she says please, but she still looks like she wants to rip my dick off and make me eat it.

“Sure thing, Hen,” I reply.

I roll the ball so that she can warm up and get ready for the diving warmups that we’re going to need to do here in a bit.

“How is she?” I ask her in a low voice.

“We both know you can’t ask me that question,” she reminds me.

“I’m aware of that.”

“So why did you?”

“Because I’m an idiot.”

“Yeah, you are an idiot. But somehow you’re here and she’s not. There’s nothing we can do about it. And I don’t want to talk about it or think about it right now. Just get me ready for the game. That is your job, after all, and you still have yours.”

She’s not wrong. I am still the one with my job. Hendrix has been kinder to me that I might have been, had I been in her shoes. She’s civil and has even asked me once or twice if I’m doing okay. But she doesn’t have time to hear my wallowing. It’s game day. And she’s right, I need to get my head in the game and get her ready. Not think about how badly I’ve screwed up.

I think about Cassie constantly, but I haven’t reached out. It makes me an ass for not texting her and at least checking on her. Or apologizing for her losing her job. That makes me an even bigger ass. But I have no idea what I would even say to her.

“Dude, fucking focus!” Hendrix calls to me.

“On it,” I reply.

The rest of the warmup goes much better, and Hendrix doesn’t yell at me again. She shouldn’t have had to in the first place. This is exactly what August was worried about, I think. I need to make sure that I keep my nose clean and on task so that no one can say I’m not doing my job properly.

Coach Watts has started Kelly in Cassie’s spot. She’s not as fast as Cassie was, and her firing range isn’t as long either, but she’s who he chose. I try not to show my displeasure over hergetting the spot, because it’s not her fault—it’s mine. A fact I remind myself for the thousandth time.

“I hope we can squeak out a win today,” Nate is saying from beside me. “We could use this boost in morale. We got beat pretty bad the last time, remember?”

I nod. “I remember. Hendrix is looking good. She’ll be ready. I’ve worked a lot with her on the long balls.”

“Good, good. I thought so, too. She looks great. You’re doing a great job.”

I smile at the compliment even though it makes me feel like an ass. I shouldn’t even have this job. I should have lost mine along with Cassie. “I’m sorry again about the position I put you in. It wasn’t fair.”

“It’s okay, Jase. You don’t have to keep apologizing. I understand that it happened. We’re just going to move forward.” He walks over to talk to Mac before the game gets underway.

I move over to Andie. I’m pretty sure she’s not happy with the situation. She’s sort of friends with the girls. I’ve seen them hanging out a few times at the beach and bars.

“Hey,” I say.

She looks over, pushing a strand of her short blonde hair behind her ears. “Hi.”

“Look, Andie, I’m sorry I caused a problem. I shouldn’t have put the team or Cassie in that position.”

She nods. “No, you shouldn’t have.”

“I understand if you hate me. I just wanted you to know that any punishment you want to throw my way, I deserve. I get it.”

“I don’t hate you and you shouldn’t be punished for it. You shouldn’t have been sleeping with a player, because that’s against the rules. Not just August’s rules, but the league’s rules. But no one should have been fired. It wasn’t fair to make an example out of her. Not that I wanted you gone, but I didn’t want her gone either. Kelly is good, but she’s no Cas.”