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S tanding in the garden, his eyes riveted to Emmeline’s back as she left, broke something inside him.

He had always known when he confessed the truth of that terrible, heartbreaking day that she would reject him, but he had hoped for more time.

Fate was not on his side once again regarding Emmeline.

“I heard Emmeline yelling. Did something happen? Where did she go?” Caldwell said, looking concerned.

He turned his back on them so they wouldn’t see him crying. “She was here.”

Caldwell came up behind him and placed his hand on his shoulder. “Is all well?”

“No,” he stuttered, forcing his feet to move down the path, deeper into the garden toward the orangery, ignoring Caldwell calling after him.

He was not fit for company. Ugliness ate at his insides; all he wanted to do was lash out—or cry like a baby.

Once at the orangery, he sat on the grass outside, leaning against a large tree.

One moment tonight, they were dancing, laughing, and making plans for another night of lovemaking, and the next Emmeline was telling him she never wanted to see him again. Oh, he didn’t blame her. He should have told her everything when Aiden died.

The truth of the matter was that he was ashamed of his actions.

If he had told her the truth from the beginning, perhaps she would have forgiven him by now.

As it stood, he didn’t know if she ever would.

First thing tomorrow, he would ride out, go to his country seat, and hopefully heal his broken heart.

He would give Emmeline some time to heal and then go to her and beg her forgiveness.

Life was nothing to him without her. Either he would find a way to earn her forgiveness or he would die old and alone.

He refused to marry another no matter what people said was required of him.

*

“Now that we are in the carriage alone and on our way back to London, will you tell me what happened?” Emmeline’s mother asked with concern. “I know it has to do with Blackstone. I have not seen you this upset since Aiden’s death, and I am going out of my mind with worry.”

When she’d returned to her room last evening, Emmeline sent a note to her mother requesting they leave first thing the following morning and one to their hosts explaining they must go to London.

She gave no reason in either missive, and she could no longer put off her mother.

“Last night, I found out something that played into Aiden’s death.

” She went on to explain most of what had transpired between her and Andrew.

“Darling.” Her mother, sitting beside her, placed a hand on hers.

The warm comfort eased her a tad. “I cannot tell you what to do or how to handle the duke. The only thing I ask of you is not to take lightly what you and Blackstone share. I can see the love you both have for one another, a love that started ten years ago and never died. I know he has spent nights in your room. This must be difficult for both of you after your shared intimacy.”

Visions of Andrew in her bed, his scent clinging to the pillows and sheets, had plagued her last night, making sleep impossible.

Perhaps if they hadn’t shared their bodies, the loss would not be so devastating.

She didn’t believe she could ever lie with another man.

Not only was her life with Andrew over, but her dream of being married with children was over.

She would die an old childless widow.

*

When Andrew left the house party, he went straight to Blackstone Hall.

He hoped spending time in the country would ease the turmoil running rampant through his mind.

All he could hear was Emmeline’s words telling him, “I hope never to see you again.” The devastating pain he’d witnessed on her face plagued him daily.

The day Aiden died was a day that played over and over again in Andrew’s mind.

Even six years later, he tried to manipulate the accident in his mind so Aiden lived.

So Aiden was alive today. But he could not change the past. He had to live with it.

He had to live with his decision to race Aiden.

And his decision never to tell Emmeline the whole truth.

At Blackstone Hall, he punished himself by working in the stables.

His stable hands were horrified that their duke was mucking out stalls, filling the feed buckets, and hauling water from the well, but he needed the physical work.

Otherwise, he would not be able to sleep.

Exhaustion was the only way he slept, the only thing that eased his dreams.

He hid from the world and exhausted his mind and body for a month before he traveled back to London, hoping to make things right with Emmeline.

*

Emmeline spent the month after her world collapsed in her library, reading away her heartache.

When reading failed to help, she embroidered new handkerchiefs and pillowcases.

She’d never been so proficient with her embroidering, even though her heart wasn’t in it.

It was mindless activity that she wanted.

Finally needing a break, she ventured out to the Duchess of Greenville’s home for a meeting of the Ladies’ Society of Mayfair.

They were packing baskets to be delivered the following day.

Emmeline and Mrs. Bishop volunteered to go with Mitchel, Her Grace’s volunteer driver, to St. Giles.

After several hours of organizing, planning and refreshments, she bid the duchess farewell.

“Your Grace, another successful day.”

“Yes, Emmeline,” said the duchess. “I’ve missed you these last weeks, and I’m glad you have returned. Thank you for agreeing to go tomorrow. Mitchel will pick you up at half past eight.”

Her driver had dropped her off today at the duchess’s house and she had sent him home, preferring to walk the short distance home after the meeting.

As she strolled through the streets of Mayfair toward her townhouse, Emmeline wondered what she would do for the rest of the day.

The weather was lovely, and she could ride in the park, except riding by herself didn’t appeal to her.

She could call upon Lilly and Langford, but they were in the country, having recently returned from their honeymoon.

Perhaps she could visit them soon. However, she doubted they would want her around much as they started their new life as a married couple.

Melancholy settled in, and Emmeline hated it.

She’d spent years after Aiden’s death feeling sorry for herself, and she refused to revisit those years.

If only she could convince her heart and mind.

Her heart pained her constantly, and her mind screamed at her to forgive Andrew, but she didn’t know how.

*

Mitchel picked her up on time in the morning, and Flynn rode along as their escort.

Emmeline was bundled up against the rain.

They picked up Mrs. Bishop before venturing into St. Giles.

Emmeline stared out the carriage window as they left London proper behind and ventured into the poorer sections of town.

Each time she traveled into the slums, she thought she would get used to the stench, the sights, and the sounds, but she didn’t.

They bombarded her much like the first time all over again, and she had to fight down her anxiety.

She refused to let it win. This charity had been her saving grace for the past six years, and she needed it as much as those living in poverty needed their donations.

When the Ladies’ Society of Mayfair started, they would deliver baskets once every two weeks.

They were making several trips to the rookeries each week now.

Emmeline told the duchess she would go twice a week from now on as she had nothing else to occupy her time.

Anything was better than sitting at home and thinking about Andrew.

Their carriage today was crowded with over thirty baskets and bags to be delivered.

Mitchel had the addresses of where they needed to go.

Once he stopped the coach, Flynn would open the door, escort them to the stoop, and help deliver the goods to the correct person.

The day was long and emotionally draining, and by the time Emmeline returned home, her body ached from being inside the carriage and carrying the heavy goods.

Her body was chilled from the cold rain which penetrated through her cloak.

As she wearily climbed her own front stairs, she recognized Andrew’s carriage and driver in front of her neighbor’s house.

She wasn’t fooled. He was here to see her, not her neighbor.

Harrison opened the door. “The Duke of Blackstone is here to see you. He is in the drawing room.”

Her heart raced upon hearing Andrew’s name spoken out loud.

She had wondered when he would seek her out.

Then she remembered how angry she had been with him.

“Please tell him I will be down shortly, and have tea delivered.” She handed Harrison her wet cloak and gloves, hurried up two sets of stairs, and entered her chambers, ringing the bell for her maid.

Her warm bath would have to wait until later.

She removed her damp traveling clothes. Wearing only her chemise, she used a cloth, soaked it in the basin, lathered it with flowery-scented soap, and wiped down all her exposed skin, taking the dust and grime from the streets with it.

“Ma’am,” said Amanda as she entered the room. “I just heard the Duke of Blackstone is here. What shall you wear?”

“The garnet day dress. Please bring a new chemise as well. Mine is damp.”