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RILEY

Facing down the Draytons when they finally come in from the cold is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. The look in their eyes destroys me. Gone is the openness and the affection, replaced with caution and suspicion that slices into my heart and fills me with regret.

What have I done?

I should have dumped the channel because nothing is worth losing these men.

They wait for me to settle in the den before they take their seats, each of them sitting stiffly on the furniture that’s been witness to so much between us. These are the couches where we’ve laughed, tangled together, and shared the most tender, intimate moments. Seeing them like this, closed off, their usual ease replaced with tension, ties me in knots. “So,” I start, my voice shaking. “You know.”

Jacob turns first, his icy blue eyes pinning me in place. “Yeah, we know.”

I glance at Shawn, hoping for some of his usual teasing, but his face is unreadable.

“I—” My voice falters, and the burn of tears threatens again. “I never meant for you to find out like this.”

Hayes leans forward, his brow knotted. “I think I understand why it started. I remember what you told me about the things you overheard.”

“It sounds so stupid now. So childish,” I blurt, hanging my head. “When I started the channel, it was about baking, but the episode where I talked about Jacob and his raging outburst on the ice went viral, and after that, it became… Well, I had a lot of negative feelings about the time we lived together, and it all spilled out, and I didn’t care if it hurt you because it was my way of getting back at you for hurting me.”

“We were kids, Riley,” Jacob says.

“I know.” I chew the side of my thumbnail, trying to stop my hands from trembling. “And my feelings were childish, too, I guess. It’s hard to explain how humiliated I felt. It changed who I was and what I thought about myself for a long time, and I had to do work—hard work—to find my confidence. But it wasn’t just about the way you treated me. I saw what you were like on the university gossip pages. You treated women like they were disposable. Something to use for your entertainment. I thought they haven’t changed , which made continuing right, like I was championing a cause. I’m not making excuses. I know what I did was wrong and could have had, might have had, very real consequences for you. I’m just trying to get you to understand that I wasn’t in a good place.”

The room goes silent, the weight of my confession settling over us.

“And what about the episode you just put out? You dragged us all through the mud. Why?” The hurt in Shawn’s voice and the uncharacteristic blankness in his expression spears me.

“Imani guessed that it was me behind the channel. I was worried other people might put two and two together. I was worried you’d find out.”

“So you made it worse rather than come clean?” Jacob’s eyes narrow the way they did all those weeks ago when I turned him down in The Red Devil, and my heart skitters, realizing how much I’ve destroyed what we’ve built.

Building trust and connection takes time and effort, brick by brick balanced slowly, but it can all so easily be lost.

“I didn’t mean to turn the channel into… whatever it became,” I continue, my voice softer now. “It just… had a life of its own. People loved the snarky content, and it kept growing. And then I realized I could make money from it. Real money. Enough to pay for school. It became bigger than me, and I didn’t know how to stop without losing everything I’d built.”

Hayes rubs a hand over his face, his disappointment cutting deeper than Jacob’s anger. “Why didn’t you just tell us?”

“Because I was scared,” I admit, my voice cracking. “Scared you’d hate me. Scared you’d never forgive me.”

Jacob leans closer, his voice cold but quieter now. “Do you even care about the channel? Or was it just a way to get back at us?”

“I care about it,” I say firmly. “I love it. It’s mine, the first thing I’ve ever built that’s entirely my own. And the merch. I love that the most. But I care about you more. I should’ve told you. I’m sorry.”

“Merch?” Shawn tips his head.

“Yeah. I sell all this related stuff.” I pull out my phone, find my store and hand it to him. He scrolls through the aprons, totes, shirts, prints, and underwear, then hands the phone to Jacob and Hayes. They don’t respond immediately, and the silence stretches so long that I might break.

Hayes hands me back the phone. “It’s impressive,” he says, drawing surprise from his brothers. “But what’s next?”

I take a deep breath, meeting their eyes one by one. “I’ll close it all down,” I say in a rush. “I’ll stop making content and remove all the past episodes. I can’t undo what’s already been done, the people who have watched, but I can stop more people watching.”

“Is that what you want?” he asks.

“I’ll do whatever you want me to do… whatever it takes.”

Hayes shakes his head. “You’ve made a lot of sacrifices to be with us,” he says. “Knowing the direction of our careers, accepting the negative exposure as part and parcel of our lives because you know how important hockey has been for us. I don’t want you to get rid of the channel, Riley. Not if it’s important to you.”

I blink, so surprised that I’m lost for words. Jacob and Shawn stare at their brother, digesting what he’s said at the same time as me. He’s right. I have risked a lot for them and forgiven them, too. I’ve looked past their bad reputations and dealt with the horrible online exposure of Shawn’s past actions, and the negative coverage of our relationship. I’ve done it all knowing that our relationship exists on borrowed time, and they’re all going to be leaving to play professionally soon. Taking away my channel would leave me with nothing in the end.

“You’re all going to leave soon,” I whisper, my voice stolen by emotion. “If I still have this…” Tears tear at my throat and pool in my eyes, spilling over to trail hotly down my cheeks.

Shawn, closest to me, doesn’t hesitate to wrap me in a tight embrace. “Don’t cry, Riles,” he says, cupping his hand over my ear to press my face into his chest. “I can’t fucking stand to see you cry.”

“Wherever we go, we’ll still want what we have together, Riley,” Hayes says calmly, measuredly, in this smooth deep tone which always makes me feel better. “Nothing will change except the time between dates. We’ll make it work.”

“We’ll make it work,” Shawn says.

“Wherever we are,” Jacob echoes.

“I’m so sorry,” I say, my voice hitching with a sob. “I’m sorry for anything I’ve done to hurt you. It was before I knew what amazing men you are.”

“Amazing?” The smile is back in Shawn’s voice, and the teasing tone too. “I prefer stupefying or maybe astonishing. Scrap that. Astounding.”

“What are you, the fucking thesaurus?” Jacob scowls, but he’s moved closer and gently eases me from Shawn’s embrace, wrapping me in one of his own. “We’re proud of you, Riles. For everything that you’ve achieved. I just wish you felt you could be honest with us.”

“I didn’t want to be a disappointment,” I admit. “I couldn’t bear to hear you say anything bad about me again.”

He strokes my hair and presses a firm kiss on the top of my head. “We’re on your side,” he says. “Like you were on ours when we were kids.”

I blink at him, confused.

“You think we didn’t know you made those banners Mom was suddenly waving when she bothered to attend one of our games?”

Hayes and Shawn smile with bright eyes at the memory. I had no idea they still carried it with them.

“How did you know?” I whisper.

“The childish letter formation gave it away,” Hayes says.

“And the fact that Mom never made a banner before…”

“…or after.” Jacob finishes Shawn’s sentence with a bite of resentment in his voice. “You and your dad were the only ones who supported us for our achievements, not because of an end goal or because we needed to live up to a name we never chose for ourselves.”

“You deserved it,” I say.

“And you deserve it now.” Hayes kneels in front of us, and I slide from Jacob’s arms into his embrace as more tears spill. We’ve come a long way and hit some bumps along the road, but between us, we continue to find a way through.

I just hope and pray that whatever comes next won’t be the thing that breaks us apart for good.