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Story: Pucking Huge (Huge)
ICING THE CAKE - THE HOCKEY CHANNEL WITH A SWEET BITE
[Video opens with the host from the neck down in her lively kitchen, mixing a bowl of cake batter with a spatula shaped like a hockey stick and an apron featuring a shirtless Shawn Drayton]
Anonymous Host: “Hey, team! Welcome back to Icing the Cake , where we talk about all things hockey, and today, we’re diving deep. Grab a seat, because we’re talking about the not-so-sweet side of the sport… the world of hookup culture in hockey.”
[The host adds sugar to the bowl, mixing a little too enthusiastically, creating a little dusty cloud in the air.]
Anonymous Host: “Now, don’t get me wrong, I love the game, the thrill, the camaraderie, and the sportsmanship. But let’s be real, some of these so-called ‘hockey gods’ have too much ego off the ice. There’s a big difference between confidence and entitlement, and lately, it feels like some guys forgot where the line is.”
[Cut to a humorous montage of “hockey bro” clips mostly featuring Jacob, Shawn, and Hayes Drayton: smirking, flexing, giving cheesy winks, and texting on their phones.]
Anonymous Host: “I mean, these players think they’re Casanovas just because they can handle a puck. Jacob, Shawn, and Hayes Drayton are the absolute worst. But I’ve got news for them! Knowing how to dangle doesn’t mean you know how to treat people with respect.”
[Back to the host, rolling out fondant with determination as she continues her rant.]
Anonymous Host: “Look, I get it, sports culture can be intense, but I think we can do better. So, here’s my call to action for the ladies out there. Let’s leave the hockey douches in their own hands for a while, shall we? Maybe a little self-reflection is what they need to grow up and learn some respect. They’re great at handling their sticks on the ice. Maybe we should leave them to handle their own sticks off the ice, too!”
[Cut to her pouring the batter into a cake pan, then to the decorated cake presented with a flourish.]
Anonymous Host: “And for today’s treat, we’re going bold with a cake that says it all—a classic vanilla cake topped with a fondant middle finger! A sweet way to say ‘respect women, or expect to be alone at night!’”
[She displays the cake proudly, the camera zooming in on the fondant middle finger standing tall on top.]
Anonymous Host : “So remember, ladies—don’t settle for the benchwarmers in life, especially the ones with zero respect. Let’s raise our standards and let them raise… well, their own hands!”
[She cuts a slice of the cake.]
Anonymous Host: “Here’s to a future where hockey’s more about love of the game than ‘game.’ Bon appétit!”
[The video ends with her taking a dollop of frosting on her middle finger and showing it to the camera, followed by the channel logo and social media handles.]
[End of video.]
Comments:
@GoalieGirl90:
“This is the energy we need in hockey culture. Respect women or get frosted, boys.”
@HockeyFan88:
“Drayton triplets getting dragged harder than they’ve ever been checked on ice. I’m living for this.”
@StickAndBake:
“‘Respect women or expect to be alone’—graffiti that should be scrawled on every hockey locker room wall. #IcingTheCake”
@PuckOrPerish:
“Draytons watching this like: ‘she didn’t have to go THAT hard.’”
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