Page 7

I hug myself as soon as I step outside of the auditorium because it’s snowing cold. Matt stares at the ground as I look back at Greyson. He’s sitting on the chair, staring into the void. What is going on with these two?

I hug myself tighter as the breeze blows snow against me. “I was drunk last night. I let you kiss me when I didn’t really want you to. I’m still mad, and I don’t want to do this anymore.”

“Are you serious, Maddie?” he says in disbelief. I nod. He snaps, “What the fuck did he say to you in there?”

“He gave me the courage to be myself.”

Matt scoffs, shaking his head. “Un-fucking-believable.”

He tries to walk away, but I shout, “Is it that hard to believe?” He stops in his tracks. “Matt, I really liked you. And after seeing that video, I’m just disgusted. I am so disgusted.”

“You really liked me?” Matt scoffs. He places a hand on the door handle and snaps, “Really liked me?” He’s livid as he enters the building. I get that he’s upset about my choice of words. I can’t blame him because I used the three-word sentence probably more than I should’ve. He might be questioning our entire relationship right now, but that’s how I felt when I saw his cock slide into Michelle Swift. It felt like these past few months were a joke, and I realized that I never really loved him. I love him when I’m drunk hence last night. I was convinced I missed him, but being here with him and seeing Grey right now, I know I don’t want to settle for someone like Matt. The disrespect towards me and himself truly disgusts me.

I push through the red door and enter the room that Grey should be in, but he isn’t anywhere in sight. The chair he was just at minutes ago is empty.

Matt is already at another door, but before he walks through it, he halts. “Maddie… he’s going to use you. The only thing he cares about is himself.”

I shake my head. “This has nothing to do with him. Do you really think Grey would even date me? Date anyone? Yeah, right.”

I think he likes the sound of my low self-esteem shining through because his lips twitch, probably hiding the smile that wants to naturally seep out. Everything that I know about Greyson Cress screams playboy 101. As Sydney says, a leopard doesn’t change its spots. Matt must know I’m right because he’s quiet for a moment with a not-so-mad face.

“Bye, Maddie,” he says, leaving me in this empty room.

I watch him walk away through the glass door, and it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I can manage a messy breakup like an adult. I think I was scared he would act like he did last night, but I’m relieved that I was wrong. I guess alcohol does make everything worse. I leave the auditorium in relief. Now it’s time to focus on class.

Later in the day, I am at the gym – in jeans – to run off my worries. I think, more than anything, I’m worried about breaking the team up. Pitting teammates against each other never ends well. I’m aware that it’s happened a hundred times in the past, but my father is a coach, so I know the frustration of a team when they don’t operate like a team. I cannot find myself in the middle of this team. It’s humiliating.

Ryan, my brother, calls me after I finish my one-mile run. I texted him to call me when he gets a chance, and of course, it’s while I’m in the middle of running off my stress.

“Hey, Maddie,” my brother says as I answer. I cut the treadmill off, stepping onto the sides. “Watch the game?”

“Yeah,” I say, catching my breath. “You did so good.”

“Is that – are you on a treadmill?” he asks.

“Yeah, sorry. It’s loud. I’m turning it off.” The belt is slowing down under me. “So, how are you, big brother?”

“Just the same stuff, Mads. Practice, practice, games, practice.” He laughs, and I laugh too because this is his dream. “Dad’s coaching tip of the day: ‘Skate faster.’ Thanks, Coach. I’ll get right on it.”

I chuckle, imagining our father being extra hard on Ryan. I mock, “Thanks for the inspiration, Coach Wilder. Son, the goalie’s glove is the size of a car. Oh, what I would do with your skill and your age .”

Ryan laughs.

“How’s the knee?” I ask. He broke his knee in high school, and it’s been giving him issues here and there.

“Knee’s in top shape. No problems there. So, I’ll let you get back to running, but I called to tell you that I’m coming to Matt’s game on Wednesday. So, I’ll see you there.”

“Oh,” I say, startled by the machine that fires up next to me. Grey ignores me as he starts jogging. “The… game… on Wednesday?”

Grey raises his brow at me.

Ryan says, “Yeah, I’ll see you there. Gotta run. Love you. Bye.”

I stare at Greyson’s curious face. “Love you. Bye.”

Grey cocks his head at me as a smile slowly plays on his lips. By the look on his face, he must be fantasizing that I’m telling him that I love him. I roll my eyes, breaking the awkward eye contact to start my treadmill. I’m going to run another mile.

I can’t think straight now that Greyson is next to me. My heart starts racing. I’m hyper-aware of my posture and the way my arms are moving, how quickly I’m breathing, and the jeans tugging at my knees with every step. Grey sprints the entire time I run. When I’m a little over a mile, I slow down the machine. He turns off his treadmill and says, “Nice jeans.”

Sweat drips down his temples as he wipes it with his shoulder. His lips are parted as he catches his breath. I’ve kissed those lips. And I enjoyed it. I haven’t stopped thinking about those lips and those hands on me. There’s so much I want to say to him, but right now nothing comes out. He keeps rejecting me, so I guess I’ll take the hint.

He asks for my hand, and I’m confused over his hand gesture for a moment. He pulls a pen out of his pocket and removes the cap, asking for my hand again. I stick my hand over to his quiet treadmill as he writes something on my palm. It’s ticklish, creating an uncomfortable sensation. His gray eyes look ridiculously satisfied as he caps his pen. I’m still walking on the treadmill as I glance at my palm. His phone number. His jaw clenches as he looks down at the number and then he walks away without saying a word.

Before he’s out of earshot, I say, “What do you want me to do with this?”

He stops briefly, looking over his shoulder at me. “Whatever you want with it.”

I keep my pace on the treadmill, wondering what is going on with him. He is almost as confusing as my chemistry lab project that’s due next week. And yet, I don’t think he’s a case that I’ll ever find a formula for.

An hour later, I hop off the treadmill. I needed more time to think because I thought I was worried before. Now I’m worried about what happens if he does agree to continue this charade, especially with Ryan coming to the game on Wednesday. Crap, Ryan. I need to text him about Matt. I can’t give him exact details, but I won’t leave out the Michelle Swift part.

Sydney is sitting at the dining room table with her cute blue-light-blocking glasses and her books sprawled out amongst the papers as I enter the house. Everything she does is very aesthetic.

“Hey,” I say, walking into the room. My legs are jelly. I really wish to not walk right now, so I yank a chair out next to her and exhale dramatically. My legs are exhausted.

“What’s going on?” she asks.

I hold my hand up so she can see my palm.

“What is that?” she asks.

I glance at it and then stick it closer to her face. “Grey.”

“He gave you his number?” she gawks. “The old-fashioned way?” Now she closes her mouth in amusement. She’s blushing for me. “Well, what’re you going to do with it?”

“That’s what I asked him. He said I could do whatever I want with it.” I look at the numbers bleeding ink. My sweat makes it hard to read. “I haven’t put his number in my phone yet, but I’m trying hard not to use this hand, so it doesn’t rub off.” I crack my knuckles. “Do you know how often we use our palms? I didn’t realize how many things I need it for. I haven’t washed my hands since the gym.”

She smirks at me, biting her pen. “You have Greyson Cress cooties on your hand right now?”

I pull my hand playfully away, hiding it for myself only. “Yeah, and I haven’t washed it off yet.”

Her smile is big as she leans forward. “Oh my god, you actually like him.”

I’m jokingly rubbing my hand now, just staring at it like his touch was golden.

She gently pushes me to get my attention.

“I don’t like him,” I correct her.

“You can’t like him, Maddie. He doesn’t deserve you. He’ll hurt you.”

I suck air in through my teeth, not wanting to hear about his ways. “No worries there.” I stand.

“Are you sure?” she questions. “Because I will hunt him down and tell him to stop throwing lures.”

I wave her off. “This,” I hold my hand up. “Doesn’t mean anything, Syd. I still need him to repel Matt.”

“Okay,” she elongates as I walk up the stairs.

When I’m in my room, I flop onto my bed. My legs are done for. What the hell was I thinking? I need to drink water. I pull out my flask and chug it, hoping it’ll help tomorrow’s pain.

I log Greyson’s number into my phone, wondering if I should text him. I don’t know what I would say, or if he even likes to text. I don’t want to be left on read. Now I’m staring at his number like a fool. I gather my things for a shower, keeping my phone on the charger. I will not text him but I will save his number for a rainy day.

When Wednesday comes, I realize I haven’t told Ryan that Matt and I are not together anymore. I’m not worried about what Ryan will say, but I am worried that my dad will not be happy about it. He really liked Matt and believed in his ability as a hockey player. And that’s a lot coming from my dad. I impressed him with my boyfriend. I felt like Matt checked off all my boxes.

I meet Ryan in the parking lot. I smash him with a hug, so glad to have my big brother here. I have two more brothers. One is a year younger than me and attending another college. He didn’t get accepted where Ryan and I did. And my oldest brother is also in the NHL.

“Gone Mads,” Ryan says, hugging me back. “I’m excited to watch the game. How’s Matt?”

I cringe, pulling back.

Ryan reads my face. “What is it?”

“We broke up,” I shake my head, unable to look at him.

“What? I’m here to cheer him on.” He goes into his truck and pulls out an unfinished poster.

“I meant to tell you, but I forgot. It’s been a mess, and…” I’m crying. Ryan pulls me into a hug and says, “It’s okay, Maddie. Did you want to break up with him?”

I pull back. “No,” I admit. “But I’m done with him. Totally done.”

“What do you mean?” he asks, confused. “He cheated on me with Michelle Swift.” When I say that out loud, I hear how horrible it sounds. Especially when Matt made it clear he didn’t cheat on me. “Or at least I thought he did. It ended up being a girl he hooked up with before we started dating. It’s complicated, but I can’t be with him, Ryan. I just can’t.”

Ryan nods. “Okay. That’s okay. I understand. You are not with Matt. Whether he cheated on you or not, in the end, if you don’t want to be with him, that’s a good enough reason.”

I throw my hands over his shoulder, needing a comforting hug. “Thank you.” I release him and laugh because I just really needed a hug from my big brother. I already feel so much better.

“We can still watch the game and make fun of the guys,” I offer.

Ryan puts the poster materials back into his truck and nods. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

The smell of the rink is always my favorite. It brings back so many memories, old and new, and I’m reminded of how much I miss the ice.

Ryan and I find a place in the stands. Sydney meets up with us shortly after. When the game starts, Ryan is invested in every single movement of both teams. He makes the funniest remarks.

He shouts, “They’re like a bunch of gals sliding on ice cream.” He claps obnoxiously like our father. “Pick up the pace!”

I laugh, leaning into him because he is so fun to be around. Greyson makes a shot into the net, and Ryan shouts, “The dick fucking scores again, shooting it right in.”

I glance at him, feeling offended by that comment. Maybe protective of my fake relationship. “Cress is a good player.”

“Good player he is,” Ryan jokes sarcastically.

My scrunches at his body language. “You don’t like him?”

He shakes his head. “There’s nothing to like.”

I drop it, returning my attention back to the game. Sydney remains quiet next to me. I swear Grey makes eye contact with me. It’s hard to see from this distance. I withhold my hand from waving at him. It’s not like Grey deserves that from me anyway.

“Look at who it is,” a very tall guy stands in front of me, speaking to my brother. Ryan shakes his hand as I try to peek around him to watch the game. “Is this your girl?” The guy points at me, waiting for Ryan to answer. We lock eyes and I shake my head.

“No,” Ryan laughs. “This is my sister, Maddie. Maddie, this is Foster. He’s a quarterback.”

“Hi,” I say, taking his hand. He has an arrogant look. It’s in his stance, how he holds himself. I am so over the confidence of football players. “Quarterback, huh?”

He nods, so I joke. “You look cold.”

He laughs, pointing at me. “You’re funny.”

“This is Sydney,” I say, changing the subject. “Sydney meet the quarterback.”

“Hey, quarterback,” Sydney says, shaking his hand.

Foster takes the seat next to my brother and talks his ear off for most of the game. But my brother is good at balancing the conversation between all of us. When Matt misses the net, Ryan shouts, “He’s ruining his personal life and his hockey life.”

I have a good chuckle with Sydney. She’s not catching onto most of his phrases because he’s quoting my dad most of the time, but that one hit.

Sydney shows me her phone. The notes app is open with details of the party after the game. I nod, trying to telepathically tell her that I don’t want Ryan to come. If he sees me talk to Greyson at all, I’m going to be in big trouble.

As if Foster could read her screen, he mentions, “Hey, dude, what’re you doing after this? There’s a party at Kappa Pi. Looks like the Honey Badgers are going to win, so it’ll be fun.” Foster looks over at me and Sydney, but I glance at Ryan.

Ryan shrugs. “We’ll come.”

“What?” I scoff. “Party with a bunch of college people?”

Ryan smiles. “You guys are a year younger than me. Chill out. I wanna see Crew. You don’t have to come.”

Sydney chimes in, “No, she’s coming. I was planning to drag her out with me. You know, after everything.” I elbow her, and she smiles at Ryan.

Foster says, “Sounds like a plan.”

“Great,” I mutter under my breath.

When the game ends, Ryan disappears down the stands, leaving us with Foster. He scoots over and says, “I’ve never seen you two before.”

I reply, “I’ve seen you on the field when the games don’t interfere with hockey.”

Sydney smiles sweetly.

“Ah, you have heard about me.”

I roll my eyes and begin to say, “Get –“

Greyson is knocking on the tempered glass with his hockey stick, glaring up at us. I glance around, terrified my brother is going to see. When I don’t stand up right away, he knocks on the glass again. I smile at Foster and stand up. As I make my way down the steps, Greyson’s face from this distance looks red and frosty. The tip of his nose and cheeks are red, and his eyes are bright blue.

“How can I help you?” I ask through the crack.

“What’re you doing?” he asks.

My patience is short as I look around again for my brother. “Nothing.” “You haven’t texted or called,” he mentions.

I cross my arms. “Yeah.”

“Are you coming to the party?”

“Yeah, but I can’t be seen with you.”

His expression hardens as he licks his lips. He looks up at Foster, glaring at the guy.

I explain, “My brother is coming, and I don’t think he likes you.”

“We’ll see,” Grey says and then he skates off.

I chase him as much as I can as I shout, “I can’t! It’s not happening!”

He ignores me as I turn around to look up at Sydney. She and Foster are laughing. I unfold my arms and walk back up to them.

When I meet Ryan at his truck like he texted me to, he comes running out in this cold weather and asks, “Are you drinking tonight, Mads?”

“Are you going to tell dad?” I ask because last year he decided to tell my dad, and my entire Christmas break turned into a lecture from the whole family. He swore he would never rat on me again.

Ryan smiles. “No, are you?”

I shake my head. “Definitely not.” And that’s why we are each other’s favorites.

On the drive over, Ryan plays our favorite childhood music to get us going. We sing along and dance until we reach Kappa Pi. We waltz straight to the liquor for our first drink. So many people stop to talk to Ryan. He’s mister popular, like always.

When the Honey Badgers arrive, I tell Ryan I’m going to use the bathroom. He barely cares because now he can catch up with Crew. He and Ryan are closer than Ryan is with either of our brothers.

I don’t even need to use the bathroom, but I take it anyway because it’s open. I need to make sure I look okay even though I didn’t see Grey walk into the house.

There’s a knock at my door the second I look at myself in the mirror. I flinch and say, “I’m in here.”

“I know,” Grey says on the other. My heart does a back flip into my stomach at the sound of his voice. He knocks again. And I open the door. He walks in and locks it behind him. I ignore him, looking at myself in the mirror. I apply my Chapstick and wipe something from the corner of my eye.

“Why doesn’t my brother like you?” I ask. My heart is fluttering, but I can’t let him know he makes me nervous.

Grey stands behind me, watching my lips. I glare at him in the mirror. He looks different standing next to me. I soften his sharp looks, I think. Maybe just a little. Seeing him from this perspective takes off my blinders. I can hold my own next him. We match.

“Why don’t you ask him?” he shoots back.

“I’m asking you.”

“I hooked up with Penelope.”

I’m silent as I stare at him in the mirror. And now I’m getting upset, imagining him and Penelope together. I turn around and shout, “Is there anyone that you haven’t hooked up with?”

“I’m not hooking up with you.”

“I bet you would in a heartbeat,” I scoff.

He shakes his head, arguing with me. I lift my hands to touch him, but he gently pushes them away.

I start laughing when he keeps a straight face.

“What?” he asks. “What’s so funny?”

“This is a joke, right?”

He shakes his head. I take a step closer to him, tilting my head up. “I bet you can’t keep it in your pants for a month.”

He smiles. “You really don’t think I can do it?”

I smile back. “I don’t believe you could for even a weekend.”

He grabs my arm. “I’ll make you a deal.” His fingertips slide up my arm, tickling me into goosebumps. “I keep it in my pants for a whole month, but you have to live with me.”

I laugh in his face. “What kind of deal is that? It sounds like torture.”

“Really? You’re living with Nixon. You have Foster up your ass. And Matt? He’s going to lose his mind if you’re living with me.”

“My brother,” I state. “Is going have your head.”

“I will take care of that.” He brushes my hair over my shoulder. “What do you say? Do we have a deal?”

“Nice try, Grey. I’m not moving in with you.”

He leans forward and whispers, “Then I fuck whoever I want.”

I glance down at his lips because his eyes are too intense with those kinds of words spewing out. “I’ll play you for it. Whoever wins gets their way,” I offer.

“Play?”

I nod innocently. “Best out of three. You’re not the only one who can play hockey.”

His smile widens, showing me a dimple I didn’t know existed. It’s very subtle at the top of his cheek. When his smile isn’t so big, I notice it disappearing.

“Deal.” He turns my shoulders to make me look in the mirror. He leans down into my ear, giving me a ticklish sensation. “You’re going to move in with me tonight.”

I turn my head to look at him. Our noses are touching. He licks his lips, and I feel his breath on mine. We’re in sync, and if I was a fool, I would lean in. I would indulge in this feeling deep in my gut. My body is screaming at me to lean in. I wish I had the balls, but my sober pride is simmering. “You’re going to be so disappointed.”

His eyes flick to the mirror as he says, “I have the auditorium keys to get in later tonight. When you’re done having fun with your brother, text me.”

He grips my waist to hold me in place as he moves behind me. That touch is searing through my skin, imprinted by his large hand. Now my body is cold where he once was. He walks out of the bathroom, locking the door on his way out. The butterflies rummaging in my stomach require another drink. I finish off what I have with me and then leave the bathroom.

When I walk back into the party, Ryan finds me and immediately says, “I’ve been looking for you everywhere. I need to leave. I have an early morning tomorrow. You’re good with Syd?”

I nod, noticing Grey across the room. “Yes,” I grab Ryan’s shoulder. “I’m always good. Drive safe.”

He hands me the drink he made but didn’t finish. I hug him and then he leaves. I find Sydney. She’s with Crystal, Kara, and Tori. The usual group. They’re all laughing as I walk over.

Kara has the green eyes that we all gush over. She’s covering her mouth from laughing so hard. When Sydney finds me, she uses me to lean on.

Crystal puts an arm around me and whispers, “9 o’clock. Michelle is making out with another guy.”

My eyes dart in the 9 o’clock direction, desperate to see if this is true. There’s a woman dressed in black with some guy’s hands all over her ass. Those hands are not Matt’s. So, my eyes do more searching. His backup plan is backfiring. This might’ve been how he felt when he saw Grey making out with Poppy. I’m excited that he gets what he deserves.

I whisper back to Crystal. “Why are the girls laughing?”

“Wait for her to bend over.”

She doesn’t have to finish her sentence because I see it. I see the red stain at her crotch. I cover my mouth, giggling.

Crystal’s eyes are big as she covers her mouth. If we weren’t drunk, none of this would be funny. But we’re all women, we’ve all been there. My situation happened at the pool. Yeah, I had blood dripping down my leg. Nobody saw, but I was mortified. Right now, Michelle Swift is shaking her ass with this guy. He is rubbing her so hard that it’s staining her pants. How embarrassing. Sydney reminds me that she’s still using me to hold herself up by laughing in my face.

I catch Greyson’s eyes across the party. He would probably laugh at this view too. He’s a fucking prick, but right now I love that his eyes are on me. I turn back to Crystal and say, “Maybe we should tell her.”

“She’s wasted,” Crystal says and starts talking to Kara about her own period diaries.

Sydney straightens herself, and that must only mean one thing.

“What’s so funny?” Greyson asks.

“I’ll tell you later,” I mouth, but Sydney can’t help herself. She whispers in his ear while his eyes stay locked with mine. I hate that he’s not uncomfortable with her closeness. Matt would at least squirm at the proximity of another woman in front me. Grey is always himself. I guess I should be saluting him rather than judging. He’s a confident man.

Greyson shrugs off whatever Sydney whispered. “Ready to get out of here?”

“You’re taking her already?” Sydney snaps. She glares at him, but he doesn’t bother to look at her.

Grey says, “She’s moving in with me tonight.”

I scoff. “I’m not!”

Sydney’s brows furrow and I think she’s blushing for me.

“You are,” Grey demands.

“I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

“You’re going to lose,” I claim, stepping to him. I’m so much more competitive than he realizes. If I can score a goal against the Ryan Wilder of the Seven Devils NHL hockey league, I’m sure I can beat a college hockey player. My brothers raised me to be tough on the ice. If I wanted to play with them, I had to keep up. I’m about to blow Greyson’s mind.

Sydney laughs. “Okay. Something’s going on that I don’t know about. You two, have fun arguing.”

“You’re moving in, bunny.”

Sydney scoffs, almost spitting out her drink. “You have a nickname for her?” She turns to me. “He gave you a nickname?” I think I’m as red as her fingernails right now, embarrassed he’s calling me that. It implies that I’m his puck bunny.

He puts an arm around my shoulder, and my heart is racing all over my body. I can feel the heat of him next to me. He forces me towards the exit.

“You’re going to lose,” I sing.

“Maddie,” he sighs. And there’s something in his tone that is fed up but also intrigued. “You’ve already lost.”

I laugh. “You have no idea who you’re talking to. I am a Wilder.”

“Yeah? Well, I am a winner.”

I push him, but he’s like a rubber band. Our bodies separate and then come back together, thanks to his height.

Once we step outside, I say, “I’m going to kick your ass on the ice. But I need to go grab my skates.”