Page 5

The Seven Devils lost the game, but I won’t be down about my brother’s team losing because there’s a party to go to tonight. And I need to make Matt angry because he ignored me all night like I don’t fucking exist. Sydney and I roll up to the Kappa Pi house and meet with the other girls. The music is playing loudly, and people are already drunk, but me and Sydney are only getting started. Kara, Crystal, and Tori are wasted and dancing. Kara urges us to drink shots with her while Crystal is dancing on the table. I need to get on that level.

Without needing much alcohol encouragement, I hop on the table with Crystal to dance. She drops it low, rubbing my waist. I shake my ass, rocking my hips side to side. I steal her drink and chug it. I fling my hair around, holding my new drink in the air. Crystal almost falls off the table, so we burst into laughter as I hold her steady.

Matt walks into the house while I’m dancing on the table. We make brief eye contact, but he focuses on his friends while I stare him down. He’s so fucking happy, I really could punch him in the face right now. Sydney gives me knowing eyes.

As the rest of the team piles in, including Crew, I roll my eyes at him when he salutes me. He’s still friends with Matt, and I feel fucking betrayed by him too. I’ll have to call my brother later tonight to tell him. I know, for a fact, that Ryan will have my back and not agree with the scenario. I glance around for Greyson, but he’s not in sight. That’s no surprise. I wish I could call him. My dumbass needs to get his number already. I continue to dance, pulling Kara on the table with me because Crystal needs a break. She starts swinging her hips, and I cheer her on. We take a few shots, but I take even more because I need it. I don’t cry when I’m drunk. Which is surprising. This girl’s night is exactly what I need.

“Oh my god,” Sydney says, asking for my hand. I step off the table to hear what’s going on. She turns me around to the perfect view of Matt and Michelle whispering in each other’s ears. My eyes narrow in on him. He has the audacity to do this for a second night in a row? My jaw clenches so hard that I feel it pop. My arms shiver as my hands start to shake. I am ready to fucking fight both of them. They both deserve a good punch to the face. And I need to give them a piece of my mind. Right now, all I see is red. Matt looks over at me, and I flinch because of the intense eye contact. He’s doing this to me on purpose. I storm my way to him.

“What’re you doing?” Greyson asks, stepping in front of me.

It takes me a moment to realize who’s in front of me. I am trembling, ready to throw my fist in Matt’s face. I glance up at Greyson, wondering where the hell he came from. “I’m going to tell Matt how much I fucking hate him!”

“You’re drunk,” Greyson states.

It infuriates me that he’s in my way. “I’ll still fuck a bitch up!” When I glance around him, Matt and his whore aren’t there anymore. “Goddamn it!”

I try to step around Greyson to look for them, but he steps in front of me.

“Greyson!” I shout because now we’re playing a game of where I step, he steps. “What are you even doing here?” I snap. “Didn’t you go home?”

“Bunny,” he whispers in a seductive tone. “And miss out on you dancing on that table?” His eyes flick to where I just was. I smack his chest as he laughs.

He asks, “What were you going to tell your little boyfriend just now?”

I try to walk away, adrenaline pumping through me. I am so ready to fight. I just need to find them in the crowd.

“Bunny,” he says, impatiently.

“It’s none of your business!” I need him to back off me right this instant because I need to get to Matt and Michelle before they leave the party. This is my only chance. I’ve never felt this maddened in my entire life. “You don’t even care all that much about me, Greyson. You only fucking care about yourself. So, don’t get your panties in a bunch, and move out of my fucking way!”

He grabs my arm, pulling me over to the wall. He leans me against it and says in my face aggressively, “You have no idea what I care about and it is my business because you’re about to start a fight over your ex who you claim to not want back.”

I shoot back, “All you care about is your reputation. And let’s see, well, if you’re not going to kiss me, I’m going to find someone else.” I shove his chest, but he doesn’t budge. Matt is directly across the room, watching us. Finally found the fucker I’m going to punch. Greyson pulls me back to him. Suddenly we’re face to face. His breath is on my lips as he touches my nose with his.

“Is this what you want, Madison?” he asks, forcing me to walk backward until I hit the wall. Our skulls conk just a little.

My breath falters as I look into his eyes. Without waiting for permission, I kiss him. When our lips touch, it feels like I’m on fucking fire. It’s so good, but he hesitates. My eyes flick open to look at him. He’s staring at me.

Greyson grabs my neck like a chokehold and presses me against the wall. I’m panting, staring at him because I want more. I need more. I bite my lip, enjoying his hand on my neck. He’s hesitating, holding me away from him.

“What’re you afraid of?” I whisper, challenging him.

He kisses me with his tongue in full force. His hips open my legs. I lift a leg and arch my back, wanting to feel all of him. He grabs my thigh and holds me against the wall. And holy hell, do I feel him.

Sydney starts shouting, “Yee, get it, Maddie!”

Crystal is clapping. “Woo!”

I glide my fingers into Greyson’s hair. This is so hot. I’ve never been kissed with this amount of intensity before. My adrenaline is now redirected to Greyson. I fucking want him. I’m in pure ecstasy with his hands on my ass, his tongue in my mouth, and feeling the outline of his hard dick.

When I open my eyes, Greyson is being ripped off me. Matt throws a punch at him, but Greyson ducks and tackles him to the ground, knocking a few people over. Greyson stands above Matt and punches his face, lifting him up by the shirt and then punching him back down over and over. Matt tries to fight back but he has no chance.

The Honey Badger team rushes over to pull Greyson off of Matt. Everyone is yelling something, but I can’t hear a thing because all I see is Matt being punched over and over until Ace finally pulls Greyson away.

Matt is bruised and bloody. I stare at him as the guys lift him to his feet.

Matt walks over to me and screams, “Are you fucking kidding me, Maddie!” The guys grab Matt again, but he pushes them off, flinging his hand in my face. I don’t flinch because I’m drunk and content. I wanted to be Greyson just a few moments ago. “I never fucking cheated on you, Maddie! But this! Grey? ” Harvey tries to grab Matt again, but Matt pushes him with two hands with full force. Harvey stumbles back. Matt points back at my face. “You have no fucking idea what you’re doing!” he spits. “I told you that we need to fucking talk!”

I glance around, looking for Greyson. The rest of the team is forcing him to leave the party. Matt steps closer to me. Blood spraying in my face as he speaks. “He’s just trying to fuck you.”

“You’re so fucking jealous,” I snark, trying to get a rise out of him.

“Maddie, I fucking love you! You didn’t even break up with me! You just start dating Grey to fucking get back at me without knowing the full story!”

“So, you can make out with that slut, but I can’t kiss anyone?”

He touches his forehead to mine and says, “No! Because you’re mine!”

I shudder at his words. Harvey is finally successful at pulling Matt away.

Matt says, “And you always will be! If he fucking touches you again, Maddie –”

Harvey grabs Matt by the torso and starts to carry him out of the party. I’m left with everyone staring at me.

“All the gossip you guys need for the next month!” I shout at everyone. “What the fuck are you looking at, bitch?”

My friends run over to me, grabbing me.

“Damn, girl,” Sydney says. “Let’s get out of here.”

Crystal says, “That was crazy.”

“I need to find Grey,” I say, storming out of the party.

Matt is outside with the team, lighting a cigarette.

“Your little boyfriend went home,” Matt calls out.

I walk up to him and slap his cheek, causing the cigarette to fly out of his mouth. All the guys are silent. I try to hit him again, but he grabs my hands and demands that I stop.

“You’re a fucking liar!” I shout, hating that he’s stronger than me. I want to hit him again for making me doubt my own eyes. “I saw the fucking video!” I scream.

He pulls me to the side of the house where no one is.

“Fucking stop, Maddie,” he demands as I try to get out of his grip. He brings his body close to mine and says, “Let’s just talk!”

“You’re a fucking liar,” I say as tears stream down my face.

“You haven’t given me a chance to explain. Baby, I would never cheat on you.”

“Liar!” I seethe.

He presses himself on me and pleads, “Maddie, I know you love me.” He releases me finally. “I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. You’re fucking plastered! How much did you have to drink?”

I lunge forward, trying to attack him.

He stops me from gauging his eyes out, forcing my arms behind my back. “My dick is yours. Only yours.”

I get a hand loose from his grip and grab his dick. I pant, realizing that he’s hard.

“Maddie, I don’t know what’s going on. But stay with me tonight. We’ll talk.”

I scoff. “Really? It sounds like you just want to fuck me.”

He grabs my hand that’s on his dick, pulsing against me. “I’ve always wanted you.”

I release his dick and step back. “I’m done.”

“What?” he shouts as I storm off.

“I’m done with your shit!” I yell as he catches up to me.

“Maddie,” he pleads right before we can cut the corner. He grabs me, bringing our faces close. And honestly, I’ve missed this. I love his brown eyes and black hair. As much as I want to rip his head off, and cut off his dick, I stop fighting. I love it when his hands are on me.

He glides his fingers on my face, touching my lips. “You’re my girl, Maddie. I would do anything for you to forgive me. Stop fighting and come home with me so we can talk. Really talk.”

I clench my jaw.

“Let me go,” I try to forcefully get out of his grip.

He releases me, so I shove him. He keeps his distance as I try to catch my breath. I feel like I can’t fucking breathe. I haven’t been this close to Matt since the day I saw the video, and now I’m about to have a panic attack because he’s claiming that there’s more to the story. What piece am I missing? My anger turns into a mad depression. I don’t know if I can stop the tears.

He steps towards me and says, “Baby, come back to my place and we’ll talk.”

A piece of me that was healing cracks open and hurts just for him. The breadcrumbs of words he has said is now leading me to question if I overreacted. Before I can make a decision, he grabs my hand gently. I follow because my indecisiveness can’t seem to make a choice. I’ve resulted to emotionally morphing into a dead fish and going with the flow. Sometimes fighting the current takes too much energy. And I don’t have it in me to fight now that he’s saying he loves me. I want to hear what he has to say.

And that’s how I end up in his car, in his house, and now in his room. He shuts the bedroom door behind him. We are standing under the yellow light in pure silence. His housemates are probably at that party because the house is quiet.

“Maddie, I don’t know where to start.”

I can’t even speak because I didn’t agree to come here. We drove in silence. He wanted to explain. I’m here. I’m quiet. And now he doesn’t know what to say? I glance at him, wincing at the bruise and blood from Greyson’s punches.

“I fucked up when I brought Michelle to the party last night and tonight, I know that. I heard you were talking to Grey earlier that day. And it felt like you were the one cheating on me.”

My mouth drops. “I did not cheat on you! Are you kidding me?”

“You know I hate him. I thought you hated him too. And you didn’t talk to me about the video, you haven’t given me a chance to explain.”

“Matt!” I shout, frustrated. “You made a porn with some bitch, and I’m supposed to just talk to you?”

Matt gulps, scratching his head. He exhales, frustrated. I wish he would just spit out whatever’s on his mind because something clearly needs to be said. I wait patiently, glaring at him. I can’t believe I’m in his fucking room right now.

He sighs. “The video is old.”

I start laughing because that’s hysterical. “It’s old? You –“ I point at his hair and realize his hair is longer now than in the video. “You are such a liar.”

“Maddie, I don’t have girlfriends. I don’t know how to do this relationship shit. Before we got together, yes, I hooked up and slept around. I just so happened to film one night because Michelle is a freak. Okay? She filmed it and I said it was fine. And then I met you, so I stopped hooking up with her. And she got mad, Maddie. I didn’t commit to her, but I did to you and she’s trying to blow it up.”

I try to put these puzzle pieces together, wondering if I made things worse. But the girl math in my head is not adding up.

“Then why not tell me from the beginning?”

“Maddie,” he scoffs. “It’s been two days! You blocked me, and you started hanging out with Grey. There hasn’t been a moment where we could talk. You’re ignoring me. I get it, but the video was made before we got together. I would never fucking cheat on you. You think I don’t want this?”

He steps closer to me, grabbing my arms. He says, “I would do anything to take back the pain I caused. I know the video is bad.”

A tear slides down my cheek. He wipes it with his thumb. “I’m trying to be nice to her so she can delete it.”

“I meant why didn’t you tell me before, like weeks ago. Or when we first started dating.”

He exhales. “How was I supposed to tell you, or anyone, that I made a sex tape? That’s not just something you go around telling people, especially not your new girlfriend.”

His mouth is open as he watches me intently. I’m not as mad as I was earlier because it makes sense. And I think I believe him. He pulls me into his arms, and I love the comfort of his apology. This is exactly what I needed. The person who hurt me is hugging me with compassion. Maybe I’m much more fucked up than I can admit.

He grabs my chin, and I let him. I stare into his brown eyes, missing him. His lips part, and I inhale because I’m afraid to let him back in. He gently presses his lips on mine. I close my eyes and whisper his name.

“Yeah,” he says, kissing me again.

I let this apology turn into this because I deserve it. I kiss him back, wrapping my arms around him. I’ve missed this. I miss him. I wish there was no video, no imprint in my memory of him fucking somebody else. I watched every second of it, even though it made me sick to my stomach. It’s still him, and I love him.

I’ve kissed two guys in one night, who the hell am I? I take a step back.

“Okay,” I breathe. “I need to go home.”

He nods. “Okay. I can take you.”

“Yes, please,” I say, exiting the room.

On the drive to my place, Matt holds my hand. And I let him suck up to me. I’m relieved he’s this sorry. He reaches for me as soon as he parks in front of my place. He rubs my cheek and says, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” I whisper before getting out. I wave at him before entering the house. He waves back with a forced grin.

When I get into the shower, I can’t stop thinking about what happened tonight. Greyson kissed me. Matt attacked Greyson. Greyson beat Matt. Matt told me the truth. Matt kissed me. The deeper my thoughts get, the more this doesn’t add up. This is a dick-measuring contest for them, isn’t it? Hockey must be the reason. They play the same position, so everything must be a competition between the two of them. And I just so happen to be caught in the middle.

When I get into bed, I wonder what Greyson is doing. If I had his number, I would text him. I really wish I had his number. He left the party so quickly after the fight, and I wish it was him who took me home. But storming off without an explanation led me to this common ground with Matt. Everything with Matt is okay now, right? So why am I so turned on by the thought of Greyson.