Page 20

“Are you helping your brother prep for the party?” Crew walks into the kitchen just as I take a sip of Sydney’s lovely coffee. I’ve missed my little handmade mug and their company in the morning. I nod, breathing in the smell of her heavenly blend.

“Yes, I am.”

He smacks the counter with enthusiasm. “Great. We can drive together.”

I shake my head. “I want to take my car.”

Crew says, “That’s no problem. You’ll drive me.”

I look at Sydney, wondering if she’s noticing that Crew is acting weird. Weird — as in he’s staring at me like there’s something on my face and he doesn’t want to tell me.

“I’m going to leave soon,” I warn.

He nods. “I’ll get ready.”

As soon as he leaves, I whisper to Sydney, “Did you notice that he wouldn’t stop giving me weird looks.”

She touches her eyebrows reminding me of my own.

“Shit,” I mutter, mortified as I cover them. “I totally forgot. You had me all distracted over your new coffee blend!”

She laughs, lifting her mug. “So good right?”

I nod. “You really need to go to Baddie Addie’s. You know Addison. Yeah, from before. She needs to take you. You guys can talk all about coffee.”

“Yes, the one who just opened her own coffee shop? I really would like to try some of her specialty drinks.”

“Yeah, Ryan’s best friend. You need to try Gone Mads.” I smile because a coffee is named after me. When Addison asked if she could do that, I felt so honored. “Okay. It’s a few hours to drive. Are you ready?”

She nods.

I cover my eyebrows. “Don’t let me forget about these two blackbelts.”

Sydney laughs, covering her mouth to not spit out her drink.

Crew comes around the corner with a bag. “I’m ready.”

The road trip starts off fairly quiet. I’m keeping my eyes on the road, Sydney is reading a book in the passenger seat, and Crew is in the back enjoying the ride. But for the past five minutes, I can tell that he wants to say something. I wonder if it’s my thick dark eyebrows.

“What is it?” I ask, looking in the mirror at him. We lock eyes for a moment and then Sydney looks up from her book, confused. “I can tell you want to say something, Crew. Is it my eyebrows? Because I have a very valid story for why they look this way.”

He laughs. “So, you didn’t do it on purpose?”

I scoff, deeply offended. “I totally did it on purpose, Crew. I booked a brow appointment and said hey please make my eyebrows as black as the road, like two tire mark skids above my eyes .”

He chuckles. “No… uh… all of it is contrasting, which makes me wonder what you would look like with dark hair. Not black hair, but not blonde either.”

I am pleasantly surprised that he’s that thoughtful of a guy. I nod. “Yeah, you know what, I actually want to dye my hair a dark brown or maybe a red-brown.” I look at myself in the mirror. “I think you’re right. I’ve been so busy embarrassed by the brow lady’s mistake, but maybe I look good. Do I look good?”

Crew tilts his head a little, not answering the question, so I glance at Sydney. But she’s reading her book, ignoring me. I don’t know how she doesn’t get car sick.

“Syd,” I say. “Should I dye my hair before the party?”

She glances over at me, confused.

I nod. “I bet Addie knows someone who colors hair. Do you think I should for the party?”

“On a whim?” she questions.

“Yeah. I’ve been talking about it for far too long. I think I have the time to do it today because we’ll arrive early.” I pass my phone to her. “Text Baddie Addie and ask if she can book me an appointment to color my hair.”

I notice Crew is looking over Sydney’s shoulder at my phone.

He asks, “Have you talked to Grey?”

I shake my head. “Not since last night.”

“So, you didn’t know he went to McGregor’s party?”

My eyes dart to his.

“What?” I ask. My heart plummets into my stomach. It’s swimming around as I envision him at McGregors. He went to a party last night after our text messages? Those awkward texts about our deal being done? Oh, no. I need Crew to tell me right now. “What happened?”

Crew breaks eye contact with me to look out of the window now. Wrong freaking answer, buddy. I adjust the mirror so that I’m only seeing him. “Crew,” I scold. “Tell me right now.”

He sighs. “Fucking Grey! I can’t believe–”

“What is it?” I interrupt. My heart is in my throat. “Just tell me.”

Sydney puts her book down to stare at Crew.

He lifts his hands up. “I saw him coming downstairs with Poppy.”

I bite my cheek by accident, gripping the steering wheel. The image overtakes my mind, and it’s all I see. Him and Poppy. Of course, that’s his go-to. He asked if the deal was off just so he could go fuck Poppy. Is he fucking serious? I ask, “You saw him with Poppy upstairs?”

Crew nods. “I was staring right at him, and I could see the guilt when he stared back. Poppy didn’t come down right away, but I’m assuming because of… you know.”

I imagine that bastard fucking Poppy upstairs during the party last night, and my blood boils. When I grab my phone from Sydney, she says, “Maddie, don’t text him.”

“I’m going to call him,” I scoff.

She reaches for my phone. “Don’t.” She grabs it from my palm and puts it in her car door.

“I’m sorry you had to find out this way,” Crew says from the backseat. I’m reminded that everyone thinks I’m in a relationship with Grey. Sydney is right. I can’t just call Grey right now. I fix my mirror to focus back on the drive and remove my sight of Crew as much as possible. But it’s impossible with his height.

I mutter, “You guys all warned me. I should have expected it.”

“Guys like that don’t change, Mads. They’re selfish. You shouldn’t date hockey players, just like Ryan warned you. They’re hot-headed, impulsive, and you deserve better.”

Sydney nods. “You do deserve better.”

“Two hockey players in a row caught cheating. I think I’ve learned my lesson here,” I admit.

Crew sits in my view of the mirror now and reassures me, “We’ll have fun tonight.”

I nod. “Yeah. And don’t tell Ryan, okay. He knows I’m with Greyson, and I don’t know how I’m going to handle this yet.”

Crew fixates on me again. “You don’t know how you’re going to handle it? He cheated on you. You expect us to act like nothing is happening?”

I shrug because I don’t know. I glance at Sydney because she knows the secret. If I was catching feelings for Grey, that’s on me. I need to hold up on my end of the bargain, which is helping Grey with his reputation. I know it seems so silly, but Grey is the only reason Matt hasn’t persuaded me back into his life. In fact, if Matt knows about this, I might be in big trouble.

“Yeah,” I answer. “Should be as easy as that, okay?”

He widens his eyes at me, but I don’t know what else to say.

“I’m serious, Crew. I need to talk to Grey first. And just so you know, he’s only coming to this party because Ryan insisted.”

“And Ryan only invited him because you were living with him.”

I keep my frustrated gaze on him. “Which was none of his business.” I scowl at him because he’s the reason my brother found out about this living situation in the first place.

Crew defends himself. “Why do you think I live with you, Maddie? Your brother just wants to make sure you’re safe.”

“I am safe, Crew! I don’t know why you hate Grey so much, but he’s seriously not as bad as you think he is.”

“I’m on the same team as him. Of course, I know how bad he is!”

Sydney stops us. “Okay, you two are fighting like brother and sister. Crew, she’s just asking that you give Grey a chance. And Maddie, he’s just saying he doesn’t like Grey. We have hours more to drive, so let’s not make this awkward.”

“Too late,” I mutter.

Crew says, “Maddie, I saw him… with Poppy. You know that I only told you because I’m looking out for you. I have your back.”

I nod, gulping down the reality of it. “I know, Crew. Thank you.”

My brother’s house is ridiculous in size. When we show up, Baddie Addie is exiting the house. She comes to my driver’s window and hugs me through the window. “I’ve missed you,” she says, smelling like roasted coffee.

“Ditto. Crew’s in the back.” She waves at him. “And you remember, Sydney, my best friend that is also obsessed with coffee.”

“Hi, Baddie Addie,” Sydney says with a wave.

She laughs.

“Hey, are you going to your shop?” I ask her. “Sydney, do you want to go? I mean, we’re just setting up here.”

Sydney shrugs. “Sure, if you don’t mind.”

I turn back to Addison, “Sydney loves coffee, and maybe she’ll want to open her own shop one day.”

Addison smiles at Sydney and then glances at me. “Yeah, of course. And I got you in last minute with my hair girl. I’ll send you the address. You need to be there in an hour sharp.”

Sydney hopes out and trots off with Addison as I thank her for setting up that hair appointment for me.

When it’s just Crew and I in the car, I ask, “You’re not going to make this really awkward for me tonight, are you?”

He shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it. Not as awkward as it was with Matt.”

I nod and park the car. “Is he coming?”

“Yep, unfortunately, he is. Ryan still doesn’t know about what happened, but that’s what you want, right? Keeping all these secrets to yourself?”

I turn off the car and pull out the keys, death staring at him. “Crew.”

“I’m just saying that you shouldn’t protect anyone. They are who they are, and they can own up to it. You don’t need to put on a facade for anyone. Matt, who I actually care about, fucked up. Someone like Grey was bound too.”

“Crew. Ryan knows about Matt. I told him about the cheating, but I didn’t tell him about the video he was showing off to you guys in the locker room.”

His face turns pale.

“Yeah,” I mutter. “I know about that. That will be kept a secret from my brother because if he says anything, Matt could be ruined. Maybe even expelled. I’m not trying to do that.”

Crew nods his head, staring at the ground.

I ask, “Do you know for sure if Grey slept with her?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. It’s not like I was creeping on them.” He walks his fingers onto my shoulders to lighten the mood. I brush his hand away.

“Okay,” I laugh. “Stop.”

We get out of the car and I say, “I love you like a brother, Crew. Thanks for always looking out for me.”

He nods. “Of course.”

“And please don’t judge me too hard about all of this. What Matt did really threw me off. I’m starting to get my footing back, and all of this nonsense will end soon, okay?”

He nods. “I know you’ll figure it out.” He shuts the car door. “After all, isn’t Grey just a rebound?”

I nod. “Rebound. Right.”

When we walk into my brother’s mansion, the kitchen is crystal clean. Ryan is sitting on the couch with a hockey game on the screen and seeing him like this is nostalgic.

“Hey,” Ryan says, shooting up from the couch. “I didn’t know you guys were here. Did you see Addie on the way out?”

I nod, hugging him. “We did. She took Sydney with her to the coffee shop.”

“Nice. Nice. What’s up, Crew-zer?” Ryan brings Crew into a smashing hug. “Hair’s growing out, bro. How’s everything with the team? Still good?”

Crew nods. “Yeah, and what about you? The Seven Devils showing up for your annual spring party?”

Ryan laughs. “You make it sound so lame, but yeah, a few of them should be coming. It’s not going to be like a college party like all the other years, we have some players well into their thirties and with families.”

“Sick, man. I can’t wait to talk to Greer. I’m a big fan.”

Ryan laughs and turns to me. “I know you came up early to help set up, but how about we chill for a minute to watch the game?”

I roll my eyes.

Ryan smiles. “I know how you get before a party. All jittery, your perfectionism just eating away at you.”

“Okay. Okay,” I joke. “Let’s watch the game. I’ll stand over here. We only just sat for a few hours straight to get here. And I have an appointment for my hair in an hour.”

Ryan and Crew take the couch and yell at the game until Addison walks through the front door with Sydney. It seems like their adventure to the coffee shop wasn’t very long.

“Is Hailey coming?” I ask Ryan as he lounges on the couch across from me. He glances over at Addison with a blank stare, and I immediately know something’s off. “Did something happen with Hailey?”

He says, “We broke up.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.” I look back at the screen. I didn’t meet Hailey, but Ryan mentioned her enough for me to feel like I knew her. She was an NFL cheerleader. Don’t ask me how he landed someone so hot and an all-American type of girl. I didn’t think they would break up because I only ever heard good things about her, so maybe it was cheating. It must’ve been cheating, right? I blurt, “Did she cheat on you?” The second it comes out of my mouth, I know I screwed up. I’m totally projecting. Why would I ask that?

Ryan and Crew shoot me a look. And now Ryan knows because it’s probably written all over my face. “No,” Ryan answers. He shakes his head. “Why?” He watches me closely.

I take a deep breath, glancing at Crew.

“Just because Matt cheated doesn’t mean everyone cheats,” Ryan says in the nicest way possible. My brother knows I’m projecting. Crew just looks guilty.

I nod. “I know. I’m sorry.”

Ryan’s brows furrow. “Frick. I’m sorry, Maddie. That came out harsh.”

I nod. “It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it to be rude.”

He throws his hand and asks, “Wait. Is this why you’re with Greyson Cress?”

My brother knows me so well, and sometimes I hate it so much. Crew gives me approving eyes. I say, “Uh… I don’t think we’re together anymore because Crew saw him last night at a party with Poppy. I haven’t talked to him yet.”

“What?” Ryan scoffs, looking at Crew. Crew nods at him.

I stand near the edge of the couch, feeling the heat of Ryan’s stare. It’s so similar to my dad’s intense gaze that I could fizzle away. “Can you not make this a thing?”

Ryan sits up too, clearly upset. “But it is a thing.”

I scoff. “It’s not a thing until you make it a thing, and I don’t want it to be a thing.”

Ryan says, “Okay. I won’t make it a thing.”

“Promise?” I beg, imagining what would happen if I gave Ryan the green light to handle it however he decides.

“I promise, Mads.”

“Thank you. They’re both coming tonight, so I don’t want this to be really awkward.”

He nods understanding. “I might have a talk with them, but I won’t make it awkward. Zero awkwardness.”

I point at him. “You are not talking to them! Not unless I give you the okay. Ryan!” I look over at Baddie Addie. “Addison,” I plead. “Back me up.”

She nods, looking at Ryan. “Don’t intervene. Maddie is a grown woman. She can handle it.”

He’s reluctant to agree, but he nods. “Okay, but you need to break up with Grey. Promise me that you’re going to.”

I inhale, glancing at Sydney. I can’t believe I’m even considering doing what I’m about to do. I’m going to tell them my biggest secret. Maybe it’s for the best. I sigh. “What I’m about to say needs to stay between the five of us.”

We all look around at each other and nod in agreement. Ryan asks, “What is it?”

“You guys can’t hate Greyson,” I mumble.

Crew interrupts. “Maddie, I saw him upstairs with Poppy last night.”

“I know.” I sigh, shaking. “I know what you saw, but the thing is that Grey and I aren’t really together.”

“What?” Crew and Ryan say at the same time. I look at Sydney who is nodding at me with encouragement. She knows how close we all are. This isn’t a secret I can keep anymore, not when they’re hating Grey for being Grey.

“Yeah,” I mutter. “Look, I didn’t like Greyson before all this. I really hated him, actually. Like every time I saw him, I would ignore him like he didn’t exist. Everything about him, how he slept around, how he skated on the ice. I saw him eating a meatball sandwich one time, and it disgusted me. I used to criticize him on the ice, and I swore up and down that Matt was a better player. But I was harsh and judgmental. Matt hated him, so I did, too. Which is so stupid. And so when Matt cheated on me or whatever. Gosh, you know, he’s claiming he didn’t cheat on me? He said it happened before we got together, but I realized that I don’t want to be with him anymore so that minor detail doesn’t matter. So, the only way to keep Matt away from me was to jump into a relationship with someone else. So, on a raging impulse, I walked up to Greyson Cress and – someone give me a drumroll or something.”

Addison starts tapping the kitchen counter.

“I begged him to be my fake boyfriend.” I throw my hands and then shrug. She stops the drumroll and only the hockey game in the back fills the silence as Crew and Ryan gawk at me. I continue, “Grey absolutely refused, and I mean he did not want to do it. I was fairly offended by that actually. My stomach turns just thinking about how much he’s rejected me. Matt tried to get me back, and I’ve been living with Grey as repellent for Matt because honestly, I want absolutely nothing to do with Matt anymore. And on top of all of this, I think Grey is actually a nice guy. He’s sweet to me.” I put out my hands in defense. “We haven’t done a single thing, except kiss, but I initiated it because I wanted to piss Matt off. And the problem is that it was the hottest kiss of my life, and I can’t stop thinking about it. And I thought I could have this weekend to clear my head, but then my big brother had to intimidate Grey, and then you invite him to this party where I’m supposed to clear my head. So now I don’t get to do that. Not after what Crew saw last night. And oh my god, I’m rambling so much and not making any sense, but this is why I need this to stay between us. I don’t even know what’s going on anymore. I think all I care about now is Grey.” I shake my head. Fucking Greyson Cress. He’s all I care about now.

And I am freaking panting under all their stares. I start pacing in front of the couch.

Sydney saves the silence by saying, “Yeah, and I’m guilty too because I encouraged all of this. I knew that Matt hated Grey, so I may have pushed her to ask him. We couldn’t think of any other way to keep Matt away.”

Crew is staring at me in surprise. “Why not just tell the guy to leave you alone?”

I stop pacing to stare at him. “I did. Do you think that worked? It would’ve been great if it did, and now I’ve got myself into this whole mess. And it’s not really a mess because it’s quite simple, but in here.” I point to my head and heart. “I am a mess!”

Sydney says, “But being with Grey has really helped. He’s a Matt repellent, for sure.”

Ryan doesn’t seem surprised at all – it’s like this was the missing puzzle piece.

I glance at Crew. “So, if you think that I care about Grey hooking up with Poppy last night, I only care in the slightest. But Grey has been helping me this entire time. He’s my friend. And that’s why I’m trying to tell you guys that he’s not as bad as any of you think. He helped me make Matt jealous and he’s keeping Matt away from me.”

Ryan and Crew exchange glances. So, I look at Sydney and Addison in confusion.

Ryan sighs, running his hand through his hair while Crew stares into space. Ryan hasn’t said a single word, and it’s terrifying me.

“What?” I ask because I’m starting to feel frantic and jittery inside my bones.

Ryan says, “Do you know that Matt and Grey are stepbrothers?”

My heart stops. Brain fog sets in, and I think I could faint. There are stars in my vision as I use the couch arm to hold myself up. “What!” I gasp. I can’t even comprehend that. Stepbrothers? How is that even possible?

Crew adds, “Ex stepbrothers.”

“But,” I inhale, exhale. “Neither of them mentioned it.”

I sit down on the couch and try to soak that in. But it’s not sinking in. How could they?

Ryan shakes his head. “Like you said, you got yourself in a mess. It’s more than in your head. These are not two guys who hate each other and are teammates, they used to live in the same house together as kids. You’re in the middle of whatever the fuck is going on with them. And who knows what it is this time? They’ve done shit like this since the beginning.”

“Oh my god. This is why Grey refused me,” I glance at Sydney. She’s utterly invested now with wide eyes and a blank stare. “He didn’t want this at all. Oh my god, I’m so stupid. This is why he’s rejecting me about everything! Because he hates Matt because they’re stepbrothers! Okay, I need an explanation right now because I went from frantic to angry in two seconds. Crew, you knew that they were stepbrothers?”

He nods, the blood draining from his face. I snap, “You couldn’t bother to mention that? God, I am such an idiot! Please, you two explain to me what I’ve gotten myself into.”

Ryan blows out hot air. “The first time they threw punches in the locker room was over Matt taking Grey’s t-shirt. That was when I was a sophomore, and they were freshmen.”

My mouth must open because Ryan looks down at it.

Crew adds, “I wish he was kidding, Mads. I think their parents were together back then, so it was worse. T-shirts, socks, hockey, girls – anything and everything you can possibly think of they would fight over, they fought over.”

Ryan says, “One time Grey lost it during a game. He didn’t fight on the ice, so I’ll give him that, but back in the locker room, we had to keep the coaches out or they would’ve been suspended from the team.”

I try to wrap my mind around this. “But why?”

Ryan and Crew shrug at each other. Ryan says, “That night I think Grey said something about Crew’s mom, but honestly, they never got along. I think Matt said that’s why their parents got divorced. Those two put the team through a lot of shit over the years.”

Crew says, “They haven’t fought for a while until that party.”

“Party?” Ryan questions.

Crew nods. “Fighting over your sister.”

Ryan glances at me. “Well, that’s a damn good reason to throw punches. Maybe they’re growing up.”

I smile as Ryan points at his eyebrows. “I don’t mean to change the subject, but what’s with the eyebrows?”

I cover them. “New brow lady.”

He laughs. “Okay. I thought you were going for the always mad look.”

“Yeah, always Mads . That’s me. It’s a good look, right?” I stand with my hands on my hips, meeting Sydney’s gaze. “I don’t know what to do.” Now I look at Ryan and Crew. “But please keep this between us, okay? And Crew, I’m serious. You need to take this to your grave.”

Crew puts his hands up. “I will take it to my grave.”

“Good,” I say, inhaling. “When Grey gets here, I need to talk to him. I’ll start there, but first, I need to clear my head. I need to go to my hair appointment.”

And I drive straight to my hair appointment. I need to shut off my brain if I’m going to survive tonight.

They’re ex stepbrothers!? How did I not know this?