Page 5

Chapter 5

Daff

I shot forward, the blanket falling from me as I grabbed my chest, my heart thumping painfully within.

It took a moment to remember where I was, and another to pinpoint what woke me.

Prowl was lying on the bare floor, his body pressed like a second skin against our dividing wall, his forehead digging into the bars at the bottom of his door.

A pained whimper escaped him as he tried to thrash, but with nowhere to go, he only pushed harder against them.

Another thrash, another thump, another whimper.

“Prowl?”

He didn’t respond.

“Prowl?” I called, a little louder.

Still no response.

Were you supposed to wake someone up from a nightmare?

Was he even having a nightmare?

Or was he trapped in a memory?

My voice wasn’t helping him, and his eyes were closed, so he couldn’t see me.

The only other thing I could do to try and soothe him was fill his nose with my scent.

But how could I get him to sniff me?

“Damn it!”

I pulled my blanket off my bed and dropped it just out of his reach before following it down.

The last thing I needed was a cold ass, and if I moved much closer, he’d be able to reach me.

I believed he absolutely meant it when he said he’d never hurt me…

but he wouldn’t know what he was doing in this state.

“Prowl?” I said again, grabbing my mostly dry hair by the ends and flapping it like an idiot.

I mean, how else was I supposed to make myself smell more or push it towards him?

His restlessness slowed for a moment, a brief, fleeting moment, before he thrashed again.

“What the hell do I do now?”

I could only think of one thing.

But was I brave enough to do it?

“Shit, shit, shit, shit shitty-shit-shit,” I whispered as I crept forward, dragging my blanket with me.

“I really hope you meant it, big guy.”

Another deep breath and I reached out, slipping my hand through his bars just far enough to touch his broad forehead, where it met with his hairline.

My fingers met a soft layer of velvet fuzz instead of the smooth skin I’d expected.

“Prowl, it’s me. I’m here, okay? I won’t leave until you’re settled, I promise. I really, really don’t want you hurting yourself anymore. You’ve been through enough pain. Not that I have any idea what you’ve actually been through. The possibilities make me want to puke. You deserve so much better than the life you’ve been given. All of you do. I?—”

His fingers wrapped around my wrist, cutting off my rambling attempt at comfort with a gasp.

He moved my hand, dragging it to his bearded cheek, his body trying to curl forward as if he wanted to wrap his whole being around the place we touched.

His eyes caught the light as they opened, reflecting gold and threatening to incinerate me with their intensity.

“You okay?”

He gave a whisper of a nod before his eyelashes fluttered closed.

I huffed a laugh despite the adrenaline pumping through me, then shook out my blanket one-handed and got comfortable, since it didn’t look like he was letting me go anytime soon.

The linoleum floor would be a bitch to sleep on, but I knew, on a level I wasn’t comfortable exploring, it’d be worth it.

That he was worth it.

Prowl was on his side, watching me when I woke, cracking my eyes just far enough to not get blinded by the lights turning on.

“Are they on a timer, or does someone hate us?”

“Timer. 7 a.m.”

Great.

“So no sleep-ins?”

“I won’t let them disturb you if you want more.”

“Them?”

“Morning med check team.”

“You need a team to check you every morning?”

His thumb stroked the inside of my wrist, where he still held my hand to his face.

“I haven’t been well.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Couldn’t be helped. They’ve done what they could, short of knocking me out.”

“Lara said that’s dangerous for you.”

“I’m never out for long.”

“Is it like that for all hybrids, or just the lions?”

“The wolves go down the easiest, but there’s barely an hour’s difference in recovery time between us all.”

“Is that why you have that?” I asked, nodding towards the thick band of scaring around his neck.

“The white coats would shock us with enough voltage to make us pass out. If we revived too soon, they’d keep repeating it until they were done.”

“I don’t know what to say, other than it’s a miracle you survived.”

He nuzzled my palm.

“I thought I’d been given freedom, only to die here in another prison. You’ve changed everything for me.”

Tears matted my eyelashes, though I did my best to blink them away.

“But what if this calm wears off? I’m terrified for you, of what will happen to you if this doesn’t last.”

His lips touched my wrist, a whisper of a kiss.

I would’ve thought I’d imagined it if I hadn’t seen him do it.

“Then I’ll make the best of every second it does.”

“Last night…”

His fingers squeezed mine.

“Thank you. I never dreamed you’d touch me.”

“Why not? I mean, yeah, I don’t know much about you, but if this goes on for the length of my contract, I’m bound to at some point. Two years is a bloody long time to build trust between us.”

His lips parted with his breath.

“We were told not to expect it. That they’d do their best to vet people, but you ultimately couldn’t help instinct when confronted with a being as wrong as us.”

“Jesus, Prowl! Don’t say shit like that! You deserve every single right and privilege the rest of humanity gets. Happiness, freedom, love, touch, all of it. What the hell have they been telling you?”

“You saw Kara. You saw the women leaving before you. And I’ve seen a mirror.”

“For starters, you were making god-awful sounds and body-slamming the wall when they met you. Of course they were terrified! And Kara can go fuck herself. If she wants to avoid you or pretend you don’t exist, that’s her issue, not yours.”

His lips edged up, hinting at a smile.

“You’re small and beautiful on the outside, and so fierce and brave on the inside.”

I pressed my lips together, doing my best to ignore the flutter in my chest.

“I think you’re touch drunk.” I wiggled my fingers in his.

“I don’t think you’ve held someone’s hand this long before, and it’s messing with your head.”

“The only people who’ve touched me without gloves are my brothers.”

Well, damn.

I guess that meant I was going to stay here, holding his hand until my arm fell off.

There was no way I was letting go of him now.

My Dad and brothers were never the touchy-feely kind, and I wasn’t big on friends, but I’d always wrangled a hug when I needed one.

But to be completely starved for touch your entire life?

It was too awful to think about.

The buzzer went off, warning us someone was about to come in.

“Are you letting me go, or do you want me to stay put?”

“You’d stay?”

I wasn’t sure if his question sounded more stunned or hopeful.

“Yeah, big guy, I’ll stay here. But I’m going to need to pee at some point.”

And poop.

In an enclosed space where he’d be able to smell it.

Maybe I could convince him to hold his breath until the room aired out.

Prowl let my hand slide from his face but didn’t release it as he rolled into a weird crunch and settled on his knees at the edge of his bars, leaving me with enough arm length that I could, very clumsily, pull myself up to sitting.

I wriggled on the spot until I could see whoever was about to come through the door.

Lara entered first, followed by Jean, a woman in scrubs and a guy in suit pants and a button down shirt.

Lara froze when her eyes landed on me, her face paling as she noticed my hand, firmly engulfed in Prowl’s.

“Release her, Prowl,” Jean commanded, raising what looked like a Taser on steroids.

I pulled our joined hands closer to me, hoping he wouldn’t mind me yanking on his arm.

“I did this, and I’m okay with it. And he’s already checked with me that I’m still okay with it.” I turned to Prowl.

“You’d let me go as soon as I asked, right?”

It wasn’t a question, at least not for me.

I knew I could trust him to do what I asked.

Though in this case he might fight internally against the loss of touch.

Which would be understandable, considering his history.

“Yes.”

“Prove it,” Jean said, still aiming his Taser.

A rumble started in Prowl’s chest, but I squeezed his hand as hard as I could, jerking his attention back to me.

“Just do it. You can take it again as soon as he’s seen. It’s not worth the fight or their worry.”

His growl broke off, a few seconds passing before he released me, one finger uncurling at a time like he had to talk himself through it.

“See?” I said, waving my freed hand in front of them.

“We good now?”

Jean kept his frown as he re-holstered his weapon.

“My job is your safety. There’s no such thing as being too careful.”

I slipped my hand back into Prowl’s, and I swear I could feel his relief it was so strong.

And the med team’s discomfort.

“Is that a me and Prowl safety thing? Or a general female-hybrid thing?”

“Both.”

“What happens when people start falling for each other and getting physical? You won’t be able to point a Taser at every PDA incident that occurs, and you’ll be royally screwed once people start having sex. ’Cause that can look wild as hell and still be completely consensual.”

Lara and Jean looked at each other.

The half suit glared.

Lara cleared her throat.

“We have strict policies in place regarding physical contact. Unless someone is in severe, immediate dangers, hybrids are never to make first contact. This was discussed with your group last night.”

“Okay. I can understand that rule, but it still doesn’t stop us from touching them first. And don’t tell me it won’t happen, ’cause it already has,” I said, motioning towards our hands.

“We didn’t think it was something we’d need to deal with anytime soon.”

“And did you think no one on this base would ever want to have sex either?”

The half suit sneered.

“They’re hybrids.”

I grit my teeth.

“And you are?”

He straightened his spine, trying and failing to make himself look taller.

“Doctor Lucus Helliot. The most equipped specialist on this base to assess the hybrids dual needs.”

I closed my eyes, counting ten Mississippis to calm myself before looking back at Prowl.

“Is this how you got it into your head that no one would ever want to touch you?”

The woman in scrubs stepped towards us.

“I’m Doc Paula, Prowl’s physician. What I think Lucus is inelegantly trying to say, is that people will naturally be more disinclined to engage in sexual activities once their specific differences are disclosed.”

“I have eyes.”

“Yes, but they don’t just look different in the obvious, easily seen places. All their anatomy is different.”

I felt my cheeks heat at her implication, but this wasn’t the time for beating around the bush.

“Their dicks are different?”

Doc Paula nodded.

“And we’re trying our best to minimise the pain of rejection during an incredibly vulnerable moment for the hybrids.”

I glanced at each of their faces, and by the looks of it, they all agreed with her.

“You guys aren’t into monster smut, are you?”

An even mix of blank looks and furrowed brows answered me.

“Spicy books. Books with explicit sex scenes. Ones that feature everything from shifters to aliens to downright monsters, with their huge, weird dongs and how the human women in them love nothing more than to be railed by them.”

Prowl sucked in an audible breath, making me squeeze his hand.

“I’m not calling you a monster. I’m just trying to make them realise there’s millions of women out there who read this kind of thing and get off on it. One’s who’d be all over you in a heartbeat if they thought you were packing anything like they’ve read.”

I looked back at the four of them, trying not to glare.

“You seriously didn’t consider this? Because you’re in a whole world of trouble if you haven’t. I don’t know a whole lot about the women who arrived with me, but one thing we all found in common within half an hour of meeting, is our love for spicy sci-fi and paranormal romance.”

“We might’ve misjudged our timeline,” Doc Paul said, looking at Lara.

“We should give both groups and any other female staff a full rundown on what to expect if they’re going to sexually engage with a hybrid. It will lower the risks of unnecessary rejection and possible trauma.”

Damn.

What kind of cocks were these guys packing?

I mean, a trauma response to exposure?

What the hell?

“Agreed. Jean?”

“Agreed.”

Doctor Lucus the idiot shook his head.

“Doing that could potentially encourage sexual activity.”

“I’m willing to risk that possibility if the information helps prevent the trauma of unnecessary rejection,” Lara said, giving him her full attention.

“The hybrids have enough self image issues, don’t you think?”

The stare down continued until Doc Paula spoke.

“You’re looking better than you have in a long time, Prowl. Have you eaten? Slept? Any new wounds or damage to your body I should know about?”

“He ate all his dinner.” And I was pretty damn proud of it, too.

I could tell he was only eating to humour me at first, but after those first few mouthfuls hit his stomach, his hunger kicked in and he’d wolfed it down.

Was I allowed to say wolfed?

Would the hybrids consider that offensive?

“That’s great. And sleep?”

“More than usual.” He gestured to the smears of dry blood on the wall.

“And no more damage since Daff arrived.”

That wasn’t quite true.

He’d got two decent body slams in during the shower freakout, but I wasn’t about to offer that info up.

Not when we’d fixed the situation ourselves.

“I’m happy for you, Prowl. That’s a lot of progress in an incredibly short amount of time.”

“Are you still responding to her scent?” Doctor Helliot asked.

“Yes.”

“Compared to voice and touch, how does it rank in calming you?”

“Touch first, voice and scent are interchangeable.”

“It depends on the situation?”

“Possibly. We haven’t had enough to know.”

He motioned towards our joined hands.

“How did that happen?”

Prowl’s fingers tightened around mine.

“He was restless in his sleep, so I moved closer, trying to get my scent near him. I ended up touching him through the bars. It helped, so I stayed.”

He nodded as he jotted it down.

“And Daff, how are you coping with this?”

“It’s not what I expected to be doing.” Not that I’d had any idea what that would’ve been, regardless.

“But I’m good.” I shifted my focus to Jean.

“I know I can’t leave, but is there a way I could talk to Mandy? I’d like to stay in contact with her.”

“I can absolutely make that happen for you.”

I sank back closer to Prowl with relief.

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had an actual friend.

My life had always been school, helping Dad and work, then eventually just Dad and work.

I didn’t want to lose the one I’d newly found in Mandy.

“Thank you, Jean.”

“If that’s everything?” Lara asked the others.

“Bloods, if Prowl’s okay with it. It’s been a month, and I’d like a full workup. I’m especially interested to see if there’s any notable biological changes since calming for Daff. Prowl?” Doc Paula asked.

He nodded, and the arm that wasn’t attached to my hand slid through the bars.

She approached slowly, making sure he was okay with her proximity before tightening a band around his arm and checking his veins.

She pulled a syringe from her pocket, and I looked away.

“Hold still.”

The silence dragged, punctured only by Prowl’s deep breaths, pulling my scent into his lungs.

“Done.”

I let out a relieved sigh as she stepped away.

I freaking hated needles.

“You have no idea how glad I am we could do that the easy way.”

My hand clenched his, refusing to loosen until the door closed behind them, their goodbyes floating past my almost unhearing ears.

“What did she mean, the easy way?” I demanded, turning to Prowl.

“No dart or Taser.”

“They have no right to do that to you!”

He lifted his free hand, hesitating a fraction from my skin before settling it softly on my cheek, cradling it like it was the most precious thing in the world.

Like I was the most precious thing in the world.

“They were doing what they needed to help me.”

“Doesn’t matter. They were still knocking you out, just like those other monsters did.”

“Helping, not hurting.”

I closed my eyes, doing my best to hold back my gathering tears.

“I hate that you lived through that. That pain and fear and god knows what else, was all you knew.”

His chest rumbled to life with his purr.

“I’d live through it all again, every second of it, to end up here with you.”

“I bet you say that to all the girls you hold hands with.”

He huffed what sounded like an almost laugh, his purr getting a little louder as he used his thumb to wipe the tears from beneath my left eye.

“Are these for me?”

“Yes,” I whispered.

“Pity, or sadness?”

“Sadness. There might be a few angry ones too.”

I don’t know if he pulled me closer, if I leant forward, or if it was a bit of both, but we ended up a breath apart, with his lips pressed to my forehead, and me memorising the feeling.