Page 23

Chapter 23

Daff

We were supposed to go back to medical.

They were waiting on my choice of birth control, and Doctor Helliot would be wanting a debrief on how Prowl coped during our ‘exposure therapy.’

I didn’t want to deal with it, or anything else related to us spending time apart.

By the way Prowl was holding me, neither did he.

So we figured we’d wait.

Draw out our peaceful reverie with orgasm after orgasm until they demanded our presence.

But the demand never came.

Whether it was a miracle or because of someone else’s disaster, their silence meant we spent the day in bed, learning each other’s bodies like our lives depended on it.

Prowl kissed the top of my head.

“They’ll send in the guard if we don’t answer it.”

“Screw the phone. And the guard.”

His chest moved beneath my cheek with his sigh, his fingers tracing lazy spirals over my lower back.

“Except I’d have to kill anyone else who saw you like this, and that’d get me locked up or put down.”

“Possessive much?”

“Yes.”

I snorted.

“I love how you don’t even try to deny it.”

“Why would I? You’re mine.”

I lifted my head just far enough to kiss his chest. “Always.”

The phone on the wall started again, making me groan.

His lips dove for mine, kissing me just long enough and deep enough to make my clit pulse.

He slapped my ass through the sheet, flipped me over, then pecked my lips again before leaving me for the damn phone.

“Cheeky asshole.”

He raised an eyebrow in my direction, letting me know he’d heard me.

“Yes? What time? We’ll be there.” He hung it back on its cradle but stayed a few seconds before turning around.

“When?”

“They’re waiting for us now.”

I stared up at the roof, trying my best to swallow the panic trying to claw its way up my throat.

“I don’t want to go.”

His face filled my vision, his sandy hair falling on either side of us, shielding us, this moment, from the rest of the waiting world.

“You’re mine, Daff. I won’t let them keep us apart.”

“We won’t be able to stop them. They could lock you up, send me back early—they could do so many things, Prowl, and we’d be helpless to stop them.”

“Lara wouldn’t allow it. She’s on our side. All the hybrids are. And if push comes to shove, I’d bet Jean and a few of the women in your group would support us, too.”

“What if Helliot goes above them? There are higher-ups that even Lara and Jean can’t say no to.”

“Then we’d stage a fucking revolt.”

“We?”

“Hybrids. All of us. We won’t let them take the hope of a partner, love, and a family from us. We’re not willing to settle like we were. None of us are, not after seeing us together.”

What else could I do but trust him?

In him and us?

“Okay.”

“We’ve got this, Angel. I promise. Now get that perfect ass up so we can get this over with.”

I sighed but rolled said ass out of bed and hustled it out the door.

Doctor Helliot and Doc Paula were waiting for us.

Because it was late afternoon, a few people were milling about in the waiting room.

Their curious looks followed us past them and down the hall.

We stopped outside an open office door.

“Daff first.”

“No.”

“What? Why?” I asked, looking between them.

Doctor Helliot crossed his arms. “Prowl’s exposure therapy isn’t just about time separation. It’s about proving him capable of facing different situations and personal interactions that you’d usually do together.”

“No,” Prowl repeated.

I tugged on his beard, drawing his unhappy gaze.

“Remember what we spoke about last night?”

He scanned my face, thinking it over.

“I don’t like it.”

“I know. But we need to pick our battles. This isn’t one of them.”

He kissed the top of my head with a resigned sigh and stepped back.

Helliot watched, remaining until I followed Doc Paula inside.

He shut the door behind us.

“What did you decide?” she asked, cutting to the chase.

“The pill, please.”

“There are better options that?—”

“I’m sure.”

“What’s your reasoning?” Helliot asked.

Dickwad. My contraception choice wasn’t any of his business.

But Doc Paula looked interested in my answer.

Which, in all honesty, was so I could flush the damn things down the toilet every morning.

Lucky I already had an alternative answer that was actually true.

“I can’t handle the thought of a foreign object inside me that I can’t remove on my own.”

Helliot huffed, but Doc Paula nodded.

“And I don’t want to be stuck feeling sick as a dog if I react badly to the injections. Once it’s in my body, it’s there till it dissipates. The pill is controllable and easily changed if it doesn’t sit well with me.”

“Okay,” Doc Paula said, looking at Helliot.

“Her reasons are reasonable, and she can start them today.”

“Speaking of pills, did you take one yesterday?”

Rage scalded my insides.

“Excuse me?”

He waved in my general direction.

“To get rid of anything that might have taken.”

“Are you fucking with me right now?”

“No, Daphne. I’m one hundred percent serious.”

“Lucus—”

“My body, my choice!”

“Not while you’re under contract on my base!”

“Show me.” He looked at Doc Paula, who’d rose to her feet.

“Show you what?”

“Where in her contract it states you, Lucus Helliot, can force her to take an abortive substance.”

“I don’t have to?—”

“Yes, you do. Show me it right now, in clear, black and white letters, or drop the subject.”

“Paula—”

“Her body, her choice, Lucus. That’s not a topic that’s up for debate.”

He leaned back in his chair, fingers tapping the table as he stared at me.

“Consider it dropped. For now.”

Thank god.

“My report on yesterday’s separation stated Prowl coped without incident.”

“Your report?”

“Which means it’s time for your twelve-hour stint. You’ll be doing that tonight.”

“That’s too soon!”

“The deal was advancement to the next time block, each time the previous one was a success. Nothing was said about the amount of time, or lack thereof, between them.”

I looked to the woman who’d just spoken up for me.

“He’s correct.”

For a split, glorious second, I imagined myself picking up my chair and hurling it at him.

“When?”

“Before dinner.”

“That’s barely an hour away!”

“Enough time to collect your things and find somewhere else to sleep.”

“Why are you forcing this? We have twenty-three months to build his capacity for this.”

“What he feels for you isn’t love, Daphne. He doesn’t understand the concept.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Gratitude, infatuation, lust, the yearning for emotional connection, and the intense desire to own something, when nothing, not even the clothes on his back, has ever belonged to him,” he said, ticking off his fingers.

“That is what he feels for you.

“You having feelings for him will only hurt you.

To him, you are replaceable.

He might not think so now, but he will.

Once his lust is sated, the excitement has worn off, and he realises you’re not the only one with a pair of tits and willing?—”

“Enough, Lucus, you’ve made your point.”

“Fuck. You. What have you done for him, for any of them, except shred the remnants of their non-existent self-worth, and the belief that anyone could ever love, want or accept them, exactly as they are!

“I’ll gladly walk away from here, shattered into a million unfixable pieces, if it means leaving with him finally understanding his true worth as a person.

His worth in my eyes, not yours.

”

“We’ll see if he agrees with you once he realises he doesn’t need you anymore.”

Doc Paula cleared her throat.

“I think that’s enough for now. If you’re happy to wait in the room next door, we’ll touch base with Prowl, and I’ll fetch you your pills.

“Usually, we’d wait until the first day of your next cycle, but I recommend starting them now, and not engaging in penetrative sex for the next two weeks.

”

She opened the door for me.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Daphne,” Helliot said to my already turned back.

“My name’s not Daphne, asshole.”

Prowl was standing at the other end of the corridor, talking with another hybrid.

He must’ve been watching the door because he was striding towards me the moment I stepped out.

“Are you alright?”

I closed my eyes, trying to calm the storm raging inside me.

It would only make things worse if he realised how upset I really was, right before he went in and got news of our imminent separation.

“Fine. Doc Paula’s putting me next door while I wait.”

The backs of his fingers brushed my cheek.

“I won’t be long.”

I forced a smile for him.

“Okay.”

Paula showed me into her office.

“Make yourself comfortable.”

“Thanks.”

She hovered by the door.

“We’ll be next door if you need us.”

Yeah, I’d be happy placing a decent size bet on that not being what she’d wanted to say.

Time dragged. The lack of growls, screams and roaring was comforting, but it was driving me nuts that I couldn’t hear what they were saying.

I shot to my feet when I heard their door open, and Doc Paula telling Prowl she’d be back in a minute.

Then he was filling my doorway; jaw clenched, hands flexing in and out of fists by his sides.

“You know?”

“Yeah.”

“They don’t want me going back with you. They’re going to take me straight over to King’s.”

“Are you okay with that?”

“Do I have a choice?”

My hand slid up his forearm, trying to soothe his tense muscles.

“I’m impressed you kept your shit together when they told you.”

“Someone told me to pick my battles.”

“I hate being away from you.”

He tugged me towards him, wrapping both arms around me.

“Me too, Angel. At least you’ll get to sleep through most of it.”

More like I’d binge-watch something until I either passed out or Helliot’s twelve-hour timer ran out.

“You should try to sleep too.”

“Without your scent in my lungs?”

I smiled up at him.

“I love you, Prowl.”

“Fuck,” he whispered, squishing me to him.

“I love you too, Angel. So damn much.”

“If you two are done?” Doc Paula asked from behind Prowl.

He stepped to my side so we were both facing her.

“Your pills,” she said, handing them over.

“Try to take them at the same time every night, starting today. And no sex for two weeks, since there’s no condoms and you should never trust the pull-out method.”

“Thanks,” I said, feeling Prowl’s eyes on me as I took the box.

“There’s a cart outside waiting for you. It’ll run you up to collect your things, then drop you off at your apartment. Prowl, King’s not far behind.”

“Can I walk her out?”

Her eyes flicked to Doctor Asshole’s door.

“Better not.”

He stopped a hairsbreadth from my lips.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I lifted onto my toes, closing the tiny space between us to kiss him.

“Be safe. And try to sleep. It’ll help the time go quicker.”

I felt his eyes on me, watching me walk away from him.

Pete, one of the officers who rotated door duty for Prowl’s enclosure, waved to me.

“You’re my taxi driver?”

“Yes, Mam.”

“What a thrilling job you have.”

He chuckled at my dry tone.

“Not so much these days, but that’s not a bad thing.”

That piqued my interest. “How long have you been here?”

“Since the hybrids moved in.”

Huh.

“How long’s your contract?”

“Three years.”

“It doesn’t bother you, going so long without leaving?”

He shrugged.

“The money’s good, the job’s unique, and there’s no one waiting at home for me.”

“Do you think they’ll offer you another contract?”

Did they do that for the military-trained personnel here?

“I was told I could extend it for as long as I like.”

“Wait, really?”

“Don’t look so excited,” he said, glancing at me.

“I’m male, an officer, and not at risk of becoming emotionally involved with a hybrid.”

“How do they know?”

“Excuse me?”

“How do they know you won’t get emotionally involved with a hybrid?”

“I don’t swing that way.”

“Some people would die for their best friend.”

He shook his head, either not willing or not wanting to comment.

“I’ll wait here while you get your things.”

I was in and out in two minutes.

Pillow, toothbrush, and comfy clothes I could wallow in.

The closer we got to Mandy’s apartment—I couldn’t seem to accept that it was mine too—my list of things I should have grabbed had grown exponentially longer.

Brush. Deodorant. Socks.

Underwear. Toothpaste.

There were only so many things I could reasonably ask to borrow from Mandy.

The apartment was empty when I got there.

My thumb unlocked the door, which was unnerving since I wasn’t sure when or how they would have got my print, and the note on the kitchen counter said she’d be back in fifteen.

She was picking up dinner from the eatery, so we didn’t have to socialise or cook.

I walked through the apartment, looking through the kitchen cabinets, checking how big the shower was, and at the end of the short hall, found the room that was supposed to be mine.

I tossed my things onto the bed, a double with plain white sheets, and flopped onto my back next to them.

It felt… empty. And the furthest thing from mine.

But if things kept going the way Doctor Helliot wanted, this room would end up mine a hell of a lot sooner than I wanted.

Would Prowl end up back in the hybrid residential area, living with King?

Or did they get their own places?

I couldn’t see him claiming a home in the Wild Zone like Rage, but if he ended up feeling like Doctor Helliot said, not actually loving or wanting me, once the shine wore off and he realised he didn’t need me anymore, then maybe he would?

I shook my head, refusing to let his words poison my thoughts.

Prowl loved me. I was sure of it.

Our connection was real.

It wouldn’t disappear just because he didn’t need me anymore. I was sure of it.