Page 25

Chapter 25

Daff

“Did they say why?” I looked up from my bouncing knee.

“No. Just the time change. Do you think something happened last night?”

“They’d want you with him sooner, not later, if it had.”

“Do you think…” Nope.

Nope. Nope. I refused to go there.

She sat beside me, the smell of her morning coffee twisting my stomach.

“Do I think what?”

Damn it.

“Do you think he’s avoiding me? Putting off seeing me.”

“Are you serious right now?”

I shrugged.

“He made it through the night. If he’s realised he doesn’t need me anymore…”

“What the hell, Daff!”

I shook my head.

“Right. Sorry. I’m being crazy. I am being crazy, right?”

“Yes. You are. He loves you, Daff. His entire world revolves around you.”

I closed my eyes, my fingers finding his mark on my shoulder.

“I know. I just…something doesn’t feel right.”

She squeezed my knee.

“Everything will be fine. And if it’s not, we’ll figure out how to fix it.”

In an ideal world, yes.

But this was a government-owned base, Prowl’s existence was a well-kept secret, and I was on a contract they could terminate any time they wanted.

If something was wrong, I had zero power to change it.

“Do you want me to come with you? I’ve got time.”

“No. Thank you.”

“Are you walking, or are they sending a cart?”

“Golf cart.”

“If you change your mind, I?—”

Knocking cut her off.

“That’s them.” I rubbed my palms down the front of my thighs before hugging her.

“Thank you for trying to keep me sane.”

“Thank you for letting me eat most of the ice cream.”

I snorted.

“Don’t get used to it.”

“Good luck.”

“Thanks, Mandy.”

Another squeeze, and she let me go.

The drive was quiet.

The waiting room decently busy for nine am.

And it took fifteen minutes before Doctor Helliot appeared from the same hallway as yesterday.

“Daff.”

Was Prowl already in his office, waiting for me?

I hurried after him but froze in his doorway.

There was no one else here.

“Where’s Prowl? And Doc Paula?”

“Paula’s not needed, and Prowl’s already been here.”

My stomach fell to my toes.

“Is he coming back?”

“No.”

I pressed a hand to my chest, where I could feel a physical ache threatening to split me open.

“Where is he?”

“He’s relocated to the Wild Zone.”

“What? No. He wouldn’t do that.”

He pushed a piece of paper towards me.

I glanced down at it.

“What am I looking at?”

“His relocation request. And on the other side, his kill order. He’s decided to be put down instead of captured, contained or isolated if the need should arise again.”

“No,” I repeated, picking it up so I could read it for myself.

“That’s his signature on the bottom, on both sides.”

I shoved it back at him.

“You did this.”

“I had nothing to do with his decision.”

“I don’t believe you!”

“You don’t need to. His signature is all that matters, and he gave it twice.”

“He loves me.”

“He’s left you the only way he can.”

My hand dropped to my lower stomach.

His eyes caught the movement.

“Trapping him with a child won’t work. The hybrids weren’t raised with morals or ideals. As far as he’s concerned, you’re in his past, and a child, if there is one, is no longer his problem to deal with.”

God, that hurt hearing.

But it also sounded nothing like him.

I’d rocked his world when I said I wouldn’t take that damn pill, and he’d responded by demanding I not take any of them.

He wanted a family with me just as much as I did with him.

He may have signed those papers, but I didn’t believe for a moment it was because he didn’t want me anymore.

He was mine, and I was his, and I was going to do whatever the hell I needed to make sure he knew it.

I needed a plan.

* * *

“Hey,” Mandy said, pausing in the doorway.

Her eyes darted around her lounge room, looking for someone who wasn’t there.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you.”

“We have a problem.”

“Another round of exposure therapy?”

“No. A real problem. He moved himself to the Wild Zone and signed off on a kill order.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that if he loses all his progress and is faced with being locked inside another room, he wants to be put down instead.”

“He can tell them to do that?”

“If he signs off on it while clear-headed.”

She ditched her bag on the coffee table.

“Do you know why?”

I flopped back on the couch.

“Why did he ask to move to the Wild Zone when the last time I saw him, he was kissing the mark he left on me and telling me he loved me? Why else? He’s an idiot!”

“Okay… but more specifically?”

“My guess? He thinks he’s doing what’s best for me. That if I’m not pregnant, I’ll have to leave at the end of my contract, broken-hearted and unable to tell anyone, so he’d rather rip the Band-Aid off now, and I’ll either hate him for abandoning me or give up on him completely, and return to the outside world fine and dandy.”

“I see what you mean by idiot.”

“Right!”

“But -”

I shot daggers at her with my eyes, a glare that would have made lesser men crumble.

“Hear me out.”

“Ugh. I’m listening.”

“What if he’s right? What if it is, as heartbreaking as it feels, better to end things now, before you’re in too deep?”

“I’m already in too deep.”

“Daff…”

“I’d rather have two years of love than a lifetime of regret. And I would regret it. I’d regret every missed moment of joy. Every night, we should have fallen asleep together, every kiss we would have shared, and the reasons behind them. I might face a lifetime of heartache, but I’d do it with a soul full of cherished memories.”

“What do you need me to do?”

“You’ll help me?”

“Hell yes. Let’s find your lion and bring him back.”

“I need to see him. A message or letter won’t work. I need to do it in person.”

“That means going into the Wild Zone.”

“Yes,” I said, sitting up straighter.

“The gate is manned by wolves, so that should make getting in easier. But there’s no way in hell they’d let me through on my own.”

“Is there another hybrid you trust?”

“King will know where he is, but…”

“But?”

“But I don’t know if he’ll take me. He might think Prowl’s better off where he is, and better off without me.”

“There’s only one way to find out.”

“What are you doing?”

She was halfway to the kitchen, heading for the corded phone on the wall.

“I’m finding out whose side he’s on. Yes? I need a message put through to King’s pager. It’s Mandy. I work at the care centre with the cubs. Thank you. Call Mandy. 911. Apartment twenty-six. Great. Thank you.”

She hung up the phone.

“What did you do?”

“Sent him a direct page, telling him to patch his call through to here.”

“Why mention the cubs?”

“If I had his number, I could message him myself because I don’t. I need admin to do it, and they always require a reason before sending it through.”

“You lied to them!”

“No. I told them who I was and where I worked. And the message said to contact me ASAP. I didn’t lie about anything.”

She grinned, right as the phone started ringing.

“Hello? Yes, it’s Mandy. The cubs are fine. This is about Daff.”

I was half tempted to elbow my way in, so I could hear what he was saying.

“She’s not okay with it and wants him to come back. Uh-huh. She doesn’t care.” She sent me a wink.

“She said, and I quote, she’d rather ‘two years of love than a lifetime of regret.’ Okay. Thanks.”

She hung it back on the wall.

“Do you want the good news, or the bad news?”

“Bad news.”

She winced.

“King might be slightly pissed at me for making him worry about the cubs. I’m not to use 911 with him again without stating who it’s referring to.”

My breath caught in my throat.

“And the good news?”

“He’ll meet you at the dining hall at 7 a.m. and take you to see him.”

“Holy shit, you did it!” I squealed, bowling her over with a hug.

She squeezed me back.

“I got the front door open. The rest is on you.”

I pulled back to look at her.

“You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. I know that’s not saying much, considering I could count them all on one hand with a few fingers left over, but I couldn’t have asked for a better one.”

“Believe it or not, I haven’t had a whole lot myself.”

Which was mind-blowing.

How could anyone NOT be friends with this woman?

“I owe you big time.”

She snorted.

“Don’t you forget it. I have every intention of collecting on it.”