Page 18

Aliya

T HE ROOM WAS QUIET in the wake of my men’s exit, but the thoughts roaring in my head were so loud they would’ve drowned out anything else regardless.

I didn’t want to hear them. I wanted some time and space to think. Or maybe to not think at all.

After the intensity of last night, I certainly hadn’t expected them to wake me up with more carnal play. My body was sore in an admittedly delightful way, making it easy to curl up beneath the sheets and surrender to the comfort they offered.

I wanted to stay in this bed all day. It smelled like them.

I smelled like them.

And I was a traitor for loving that smell. I was a traitor for going along with their fun this morning. And I was a traitor for feeling anything for them but hatred.

They hadn’t known I’d been awake during their whispered conversation. I hadn’t even been sure I was truly awake, that it wasn’t part of some dream, until Jax’s tongue ran up between my thighs.

Then, I’d known it was all true. That they’d been lying to me this whole time. I’d believed them about everything they’d said. I’d trusted them... but it was all for nothing.

Their pack would arrive soon, and according to Tannin, they’d want to put me to death.

I bit my lip. Tannin’s lies hit harder than anything else. He’d been so sweet, so wonderful the whole time I’d known him. How could he hide something so important from me?

I hated myself for going along with what they’d done to me this morning, for not putting a stop to their seduction and making some excuse to make them leave. I told myself at the time that I needed to act normally, that if I didn’t play along, they’d get suspicious, and I’d lose their trust.

But the truth was, everything they did to me felt so good. I couldn’t bring myself to deny them even though I knew who and what they truly were, and what they’d been planning all along.

Now I felt dirty and ashamed. I was a disgrace to my people. I’d given myself to a pair of wolves who were only using me. I’d been so blinded by my immature, bullshit fantasies of love and fate, I hadn’t been able to see what was right in front of me.

Why hadn’t I questioned if they had a pack? Jax had said he was the Alpha, and I had foolishly assumed that was just part of the dynamic between the two of them. I was so stupid for not realizing he was the leader of the entire black wolf pack.

I put my hands over my face, wishing I could rub my idiocy away. Stupid girl.

Their pack was coming, here to Varinya, and I could only assume it was for the purpose of conquering it for themselves. I’d had a plan to get Jax and Tannin off the property, but what was I going to do about an invasion?

I sat up in bed as a sad thought slithered through my mind, silencing all the others.

Was Varinya even worth protecting anymore? There was no one left to even call my home a kingdom. The villagers, the castle staff, and my parents were all dead and gone.

Maybe I should just leave. I could pack up my necessities while my mates were making breakfast and sneak out before they knew I was gone. I’d throw a few outfits in a bag, grab Willow, and slip out through the main doors.

The main problem however, was that I wouldn’t be able to get any food for my journey. Jax and Tannin were in the kitchen, and they’d see me if I tried to rifle through the garden. How long would I last without food?

Where would I even go? Ashala, the neighboring kingdom, was three days’ travel from here, probably more with my limited knowledge of the terrain and poor navigation skills.

If I was cautious and constantly alert, I stood a small chance of defending myself against predators with my magic.

Though I didn’t like my odds against a cusith, let alone more than one of them.

And if I managed to reach Ashala, what would I do?

They wouldn’t believe I was who I claimed to be, not without proof.

I didn’t know what I could snatch before being caught to show them as evidence of my pedigree.

And even if I could, they might not care.

What good was a princess without a people to rule?

I was little more than a useless woman now. Especially to an outsider.

If I was able to escape and arrive anywhere safely, I’d have to completely start over. And the world wasn’t kind to lone, nameless women, especially those with any manner of beauty.

The door opened, and Tannin peered inside. Dammit, why did he have to be so handsome? A wolf in sheep’s clothing, indeed.

“Breakfast is ready, Your Highness,” he said with a flirtatious wink.

I forced my lips to spread into a small smile. “Okay. Thank you. I’ll be right down.”

He puckered his lips and made a smooching sound before ducking back out into the hall.

With wobbly legs, I climbed off the bed and crossed the hall to my room.

I didn’t feel like wearing a dress today, but I had to act like everything was normal.

If I wore anything that hinted at function over fashion, they might get suspicious.

So, I put on a simple summer dress with little frill—one that would be easy to run in if needed.

Then I brushed out my hair, leaving it down, and took my time joining them downstairs.

Just like last night, the dining room table was set with care. In the center was a big tray of scrambled eggs, bread, and various jams from the pantry.

Jax pulled out my chair for me before returning to his seat to my right, brushing his hand lightly down my arm as he did so. I hated how good it felt to be touched by him. How it made my insides feel like molten lava.

“Did you sleep well?” he asked as he spooned a large helping of eggs onto my plate.

“Yes,” I said, picking up my fork. The eggs smelled delicious, but my appetite was non-existent.

“Are you alright?” Tannin asked, his brows pinching in concern.

“Uh, yes, why?” I asked awkwardly.

“You just seem...a little reserved today,” he said. “Did we hurt you?”

Yes. More deeply than you’ll ever know.

“No,” I lied with a sugary smile. “I’m just tired, and honestly a bit sore from...you know...” The memories heated my cheeks, and I hated myself even more.

Tannin pouted sweetly and nodded. “I’m sorry. If it was too much for you, we can slow things down.”

Jax reached over and put his hand on my arm, rubbing his thumb back and forth. “Your comfort and peace of mind are our top priority. Whatever you need or want from us, just say it.”

I want you to leave, call off your pack, and never come back.

But even as the words shot through my thoughts, I couldn’t speak them aloud. I knew they were a lie. I didn’t want them to leave me. They’d lied to me, manipulated me, and used me, but I still craved them like a woman lost in the desert craved water.

The look in his eyes was so sincere. I wanted to believe him.

I nodded and tucked my hair behind my ear. “Yeah, I think maybe slowing things down a bit would be good. At least for now. It’s kind of a lot to process.” I gave a nervous giggle.

“Of course,” Jax said. “You’re our mate, and it’s our job to keep you happy and safe.”

“Do you really mean that?” I blurted out before I could stop myself.

A serious expression fell over his face. “With all my heart.” After holding my gaze meaningfully for a long moment, he patted my arm and removed his hand.

They were both still staring at me like I was a sheet of broken glass about to shatter, so I poked my fork into a clump of egg and put it in my mouth. That seemed to satisfy them, and they began eating as well.

I wanted so badly to trust what they were saying to me now. They had said they would protect me from their pack, who obviously all wanted me dead. Jax was their Alpha, their leader. If he vouched for me, would they accept me? Would our mate bond be enough for them to spare me?

But even if that did happen, I wouldn’t be the princess of Varinya anymore. No matter what, I’d lose my kingdom. I didn’t want to be part of their black wolf pack. Surrendering to them would be the ultimate betrayal of everything my bloodline stood for.

I wasn’t sure I could relinquish my possibly meaningless title just to survive among primitive monsters who hated me. And even if they did pretend to accept me, they might still slaughter me in my sleep while Tannin and Jax had their backs turned.

No, there was only one right course of action. Only one way to preserve the sanctity of my kingdom’s legacy.

I had to proceed with my original plan, and that was to coax Jax and Tannin outside the castle walls, then leave them there to greet their pack on arrival.

How were my supposed mates going to explain to their people that Varinya was now off limits? Once my magical boundary went up, there was no way they were ever getting back inside.