Page 14

Jax

I T TOOK LONGER THAN I was proud of to collect myself enough to go to Tannin’s room.

Nothing I did worked to alleviate the arousal that haunted me after the princess left. I tried meditating and clearing my head, then when that failed, I imagined all sorts of off-putting things. But with her smell still clinging to my fingers and her taste still filling my mouth, it was pointless.

So, I gave in to my crippling need and stroked my cock furiously until the demand subsided, letting myself imagine all the ways I wanted to ruin and worship her sexy little body. Even after coming the first time, my damn erection wouldn’t go away, so I did it all over again.

This girl was so deep under my skin that I was certain I’d never be the same again. And I didn’t want to be. I wanted to be her monster that pinned her to the wall and made her scream. But after the way I’d treated her... I’d made so many mistakes, I wasn’t sure I could fix things now.

With her or Tannin.

But I had to try.

I cleaned myself up in the adjoining bathroom, scrubbing her scent from my body until I could finally breathe. Then I ventured to Tannin’s door like a pup with my tail between my legs. I knocked twice, then waited.

Nothing.

I knocked again. “Tannin? We need to talk.”

Silence for a moment.

“I have nothing to say to you,” his voice finally said on the other side of the door.

“Perhaps not, but I have plenty to say to you,” I said, swallowing the lump in my throat as surely as my pride. “Including that you were right.”

There was shuffling inside, the sound of feet padding toward the door. “And just what was I right about?” he asked just on the other side of the thick wood.

“Everything,” I conceded with a sigh. “You were right about everything.”

The deadbolt clicked, and the knob turned, the door opening to reveal Tannin standing with one hand braced against the doorframe and the other on his hip. A resentful yet intrigued expression hung on his features.

“Come in,” he said with a reluctant tone.

I strode into the room and sat on the edge of his bed while he closed the door and walked toward me, arms folded obstinately over his chest.

“Forgive me, brother,” I began, humbling myself before him. “I was a fool before.”

“Tell me something I don’t know,” he said with a roll of his eyes.

His tone grated at me, but I let it slide.

“I thought eliminating her was what was best, for us and our pack,” I went on. “But I couldn’t do it either. And I’ve realized now that I’m not supposed to be able to do it. She’s my mate—our mate—and it’s our job to protect her.”

He arched an eyebrow at me. “What happened?” His nostrils flared and his shoulders bunched with hostility. “Did you hurt her?”

“Calm yourself,” I soothed, holding up my hands in reassurance. “No, I didn’t hurt her. I couldn’t.”

“Then what happened?” he demanded.

I pursed my lips, not wanting to tell him what had transpired between the princess and me. Mostly because I knew it would wound him. And after all I had done already today, I didn’t want to cause him further pain.

He stormed toward me, clenching his fists at his sides. “What did you do?”

Dammit.

“I couldn’t help myself, okay?” I barked defensively. “She threw herself at me wearing practically nothing, and the mate bond took over.”

Murder blazed in his eyes like green fire. “You fucked her?”

“No,” I hedged, averting my guilty gaze. “Just some kissing and petting.”

“You bastard!” he yelled, then his fist slammed against the side of my face, the force of it making me slip off the bed to the floor.

“I know, okay!” I shouted, holding my hands up again, both to disarm him and to shield against another blow. “You have every right to hate me. But I want to fix it.”

He snarled at me, shaking his head as he began to pace in front of the bed. “After all the shit you gave me for giving in to her, and you went so much farther than I let myself go.”

I sighed, the weight of my shame pressing down on me. “Tell me how to fix it, Tannin.”

He shook his head again. “Look, I’m glad you came to your senses and realized we’re not meant to harm Aliya, but I don’t know how we move forward. I can’t stand the thought of you touching her.”

Jealousy coiled inside my gut. “And I can’t stand the thought of you touching her. So where do we go from here? We obviously can’t abandon her.”

Tannin paced for several long seconds, then slowed to a stop. “What if... What if we worked out how to share her?” he suggested.

“What?” I balked.

“We’re both mated to her,” he said. “That had to have happened for a reason. And it’s not entirely unheard of for wolves to have more than one partner.”

“Yeah, but for male wolves to have more than one female partner,” I corrected, my upper lip twitching in disgust. “Not the other way around. And those unions don’t happen when there’s a mate bond involved. Mating to more than one person doesn’t happen.”

“Well, it has,” Tannin countered. “And seeing as how we can’t kill her or each other, the only reasonable option left is to come to some sort of agreement where we both get to have her.”

My insides were burning and clenching with possessive rage. Male wolves didn’t share women. That wasn’t how we operated. Especially not an Alpha like me. And that thought alone made me want to rip his throat out with my teeth.

Tannin perched on the bed next to where I still sat on the floor.

“Look, I know it’s not ideal, but mate bonds are the most sacred thing in our world.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we, the leaders of the black wolf pack, both mated to the princess of Varinya.

Fate has some sort of grand plan. We’d be foolish to stray from it. ”

I didn’t like any of the words coming out of his mouth, but I couldn’t deny the truth that resonated in my soul.

“You really think we can share her? Without killing each other?” I asked, a growl rumbling in my chest.

“You’re my best friend,” he said. “The two of us have been closer than brothers our whole lives. I think if any two wolves can share a woman, it’s us.”

I sighed through the low growl that wouldn’t stop rattling my throat. He did have a point. “How are we going to make it work? There have to be ground rules.”

He nodded, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “Well, I think we have to agree that neither of us is intimate with her alone.”

“You’re suggesting we lie with her at the same time?” I asked.

“Can you think of a better arrangement? Would you want me touching her beyond your reach?”

I snarled. “No.”

“Then there you have it,” he said. “But none of that means anything without her consent. We’ve both treated her like shit. I think we need to tell her the truth. All of it. And leave the decision up to her.”

My heart fell. Would she even want me after the way I’d acted today? I’d fingered her until she came apart so perfectly, then I’d snapped at her to leave. She’d looked so hurt. Would she be willing to give me a second chance? Could I live with it if she chose to only be with Tannin and reject me?

Well, if she did, it would be my own fault. Then I would do everything I could to win back her favor and prove myself a mate she could depend on.

“How do you think she will take it?” I asked in a reserved, doubtful tone. “I mean, the black wolves are the enemy of her kingdom. Do you think she would disregard that because her kingdom fell?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “But she has such a kind heart. I think once she sees the depth of our devotion to her, she’ll come around.”

I nodded, still doubtful. “Okay, but let’s hold off on telling her about the pack coming soon. At least until we know what to do about them.”

“Any thoughts on that yet?” he asked.

I shook my head, and it felt heavy on my shoulders. “No.”

“I don’t feel good about lying to her,” Tannin lamented.

I hopped back onto the bed and put a hand on his back.

“It’s for her own protection. Until we figure out how to handle the relations between her and the pack, it’s best for her not to know about them.

For now, we just need to make amends with her and prove ourselves to her.

If this is fate, then the rest will reveal itself in due time. ”

He nodded. “Okay. I can live with that.” Then he turned and smiled at me. “Thank you.”

I frowned. “For what?”

“For not killing her,” he said. “For being the Alpha I always thought you were.”

My heart squeezed. I really did love Tannin like a brother. We’d been through so much together, and the thought that I’d almost lost both him and Aliya because of my arrogance and pride brought me great shame. I’d never let that happen again.

“I’ll do my best to live up to your expectations,” I said sincerely. “And hers. From now on, I’m going to do right by her. Both of you.”

He hugged me, and though we’d shared brief embraces in the past after battle, this one felt different. I didn’t truly know if I could share the princess without some adjustment, but if I had to share a mate with anyone, I was glad it was Tannin.

I just hoped it wasn’t too late for either of us. Our fate hung in Aliya’s hands now. And I didn’t like our chances.