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Aliya

I COULDN’T STOP MY body from trembling even after I locked myself in my room and curled up into a ball in my bed.

I’d never been so confused in my whole life. The things Jax had done to me... I hadn’t even known it was possible to feel such overwhelming pleasure. I could still feel his lips... his tongue pressing against mine, his fingers sliding inside me and driving me wild with lust.

And then his mouth between my legs... Holy shit! It was the closest thing to heaven I’d ever experienced.

It must not have been the same for him, because he’d gone from touching and kissing me to shouting at me to leave. He’d seemed so angry. Had I done something wrong?

No. I couldn’t have. I hadn’t even had the chance to do anything. I’d just stood there and taken what he’d given me. He had been the leader in everything we’d shared, and dammit, it felt so good!

So why then did he completely reject me afterwards like that? Like I was somehow to blame for his actions and feelings.

This bond between us was potent and bewildering, but maybe not as strong as I thought it was. Not if both men could reject me so easily. I was a fucking princess, dammit!

Maybe I was giving the supposed ‘ mate bond too much value. And if they could resist the pull of it, then so could I. If they could completely dismiss it and ignore the throb of attraction, I should too.

And if they weren’t going to give in and let me seduce them, so be it.

I didn’t need to gain their trust to get them to leave.

I could just claim some threat outside the castle, play the helpless damsel, and ask them to get rid of it.

If I said there was a cusith out there, I was confident Jax would demand he and Tannin take care of it.

Willow hopped up onto the bed and tucked herself against me on the comforter. Even though my body continued to shake, her purring soon began to send soothing vibrations through me. Running my hand over her back, I savored the comfort of her presence.

Hot tears filled my eyes, and I dashed them away, feeling stupid. For a moment, while Jax was working his magic between my legs, I’d lost myself to how right it felt to be with him. I’d actually entertained surrendering to this bond and just being with him. With both of them.

I’d foolishly believed that maybe it could work, that we would be happy living together and nurturing this mate bond.

But they weren’t human, and I had to stop forgetting that. They were every bit the bloodthirsty, primitive, brutish dogs they turned into. They couldn’t be trusted to be civilized and decent. They couldn’t be trusted with my heart or my body.

And they certainly couldn’t be trusted to remain in the castle. I was convinced that they had to get out now. I didn’t need them. Being alone was far better than being toyed with and jerked around by their hot-and-cold bullshit.

“Besides, I’m not alone,” I whispered, continuing to pet Willow. “I have you. That’ll have to be enough for me.”

She meowed softly in agreement.

I’d spent long enough licking my wounded pride. I was the princess of Varinya, and it was time I started acting like it.

With renewed purpose and determination, I whipped off the covers and got out of bed. I pulled off the ridiculous negligee and threw it angrily in front of the idle fireplace, too disgusted with it to ever want to lay eyes on it again. Tonight, when I’d finished what I needed to do, I’d burn it.

But for now, there was work to be done.

I got into a pair of warm leggings, a plain shirt and a pair of work boots, perfect for moving about freely outside. Then I pulled my hair into a ponytail and left my room, creeping down the hall until I reached the stairs and descending them quickly.

The sun was hanging a quarter above the western horizon when I went out the kitchen door. I still had plenty of time to work before nightfall, and I was dead set on completing the ward before the day was over.

Making my way around the castle, I found the spot I’d kicked into the ground, then lit the sage braid and continued where I left off this morning.

Though I knew my time was limited, I went slowly, taking breaks to snack on nuts and drink water to keep my strength.

I didn’t have the luxury of draining myself like I’d done this morning.

I had to be smarter than that. I couldn’t afford to faint out here and the wolves to find me with my tell-tale sage braid.

They couldn’t know what I was up to, not until it was too late for them to do anything about it.

My arms ached and my brow was slick with sweat, but I trudged on regardless of the exhaustion.

Little by little, I made my way around the castle, finally finishing the ward up to the other side of the front doors just as the sun grazed the mountaintops in the west. All that was left to seal the ward was the few feet that spanned the castle entrance, and I’d be able to do that with one wave of the sage smoke and one recitation of the spell.

Hopefully, that would be simple enough to do before they caught up to me. It had to be.

It occurred to me then, as I stood in front of the large carved doors, that I might need to use some kind of force to keep them at bay and give myself enough time to get back inside to safety.

They were black wolves, after all, far stronger and faster than me in their shifted form. Compared to them, I was little more than an easily crushed rodent. It would be foolish of me to go into this endeavor without any kind of defense at my disposal.

Luckily, I had several books from which to learn combative spells.

I stashed the sage braid under a large rock next to the entrance of the castle, then brushed myself off and went back to the kitchen door. I was relieved to see that neither Tannin nor Jax had emerged from their rooms, so spending some time in the library studying the books would go unnoticed.

Fuck them.

One of the books I’d set aside to read was filled with the spells I needed.

Originally, I’d dismissed it as unnecessary.

Even now, as filled with resentment and heartache as I was, I didn’t like the idea of hurting them.

But I was prepared to do whatever was necessary, now that my other plan had failed.

The elemental spells were the most interesting.

I already knew I could conjure fire, as I’d done while lighting the sage.

There were spells for conjuring and forming fireballs to project at an enemy, but they came with a ton of warnings.

If the Wielder wasn’t careful, they could burn themselves badly, and I wasn’t foolhardy enough to test that.

The spells for unearthing roots or summoning vines to hurt or bind an enemy looked fascinating, and they’d be perfect for trapping the wolves in the forest, but they were far too advanced for me to attempt at this early stage.

Lots of hand movements and incantations, and they took a taxing amount of energy and focus, more so than even the protection ward.

No, that wouldn’t work. Whatever I chose needed to be quick and relatively simple.

That left air spells. Wielding air looked easy enough. One had to imagine the wind as an extension of one’s own limbs and focus on their breathing to make it work properly. The spell would take a lot of energy, but if I timed it right, I was confident it would do the trick.

But I had to test it first. I couldn’t go into this fight blindly, and gods forbid whatever I tried backfired on me in the moment I needed it most.

I looked towards the window. There was a bit of daylight still clinging to the sky though the sun had set behind the mountains.

Tucking the book under my arm, I rushed outside into the garden.

The scarecrow that hung on a stake in the fence was in poor shape. Most of the straw had spilled out of the armpits, and its makeshift head was slumped forward, hiding the face that was meant to frighten off the birds. But he’d make a fine target for practice regardless.

I set the book down on the garden bed and opened it to the page for this spell. The incantation was only one word, and memorizing it wasn’t the problem. No, the difficulty came in aligning my breathing with my movements and connecting my will with the wind itself.

I closed my eyes and focused on the air around me, paying attention to how it moved and what it felt like. I lifted my arm, willing the air to move with me, and my heart leapt with excitement as a gust of wind brushed upward at the underside of my arm.

Holy shit, that was incredible!

Don’t get too excited. Don’t lose focus.

Centering myself, I concentrated on that connection once more. Then I took a breath and wafted my arm across my body as I exhaled. The wind stirred around me, blowing across me to the left and sweeping loose strands of hair in front of my face.

Okay, so I could summon the wind and make it move. But could I use it defensively?

I glanced down at the diagram on the page again, then set my sights on the scarecrow. As I sucked in a long breath, I pulled my hands, palms-out, to my chest. Then, blowing it out with force, I thrust my hands outward, aiming at the scarecrow.

A powerful blast of air released from my palms and slammed into the scarecrow, making it explode in a flurry of straw, dirt and shredded clothing. With a gasp, I shielded my face with my arm and ducked, then peered under my arm at the now splintered, useless wooden post.

“Whoa,” I breathed, gawking at the destruction that one simple move had caused.

I hadn’t meant to destroy the scarecrow. But then again, I didn’t really know what I’d intended. How would that attack affect Tannin or Jax? My stomach twisted at the mental image of their bodies exploding into chunks of guts and blood, and I hastily shoved that thought from my mind.

I didn’t want to hurt them, and I certainly didn’t want what happened to the scarecrow to happen to them. But that thing was made of straw and sun-bleached fabric. Surely, wind couldn’t cause that much damage to a human—or black wolf.

But I wasn’t willing to take that chance. I had to practice more. I had to learn how to control this magic so that it only did as much harm as I desired.

As much as I hated both of my mates at the moment, I couldn’t stand the thought of killing either of them. I only needed them gone, and it was worth every moment of training to make sure I did just that and nothing more.