Page 19 of Promise Yule Be Mine (Christmas Falls: Season 2)

19

KODY

G osh, I ruined everything.

I ruined everything.

Why did I have to go and do that? Why would I kiss him? How could I before I spoke to Jenna.

It was never my intention to hurt Nova or Jenna but my actions might have gone and done just that.

In my defense, after the conversation I’d had with Niki I had been all up in my head about Nova and telling him how I felt, so when he was so close and sweet and gorgeous…I couldn’t help myself. It was as if my brain had shut down and I’d lost any and all control of my body.

I wanted to go after him. To run after him and tell him everything, how I felt, what he meant to me, tell him the truth, but the way he’d looked at me after the kiss…I couldn’t stand it. He’d looked betrayed. He’d looked confused and furious.

“Here we go! Now we can celebrate properly.” Jenna walked in with a clinking paper bag that she promptly set down on the kitchen counter when she looked at me. “Kody? What the hell happened? Why do you look as if you’ve seen a ghost? Where is Nova?”

“He…he left,” I whispered.

“What? Why? Where the hell did he go?”

“I…I don’t know.”

She came and stood in front of me, grabbed me by the arms and shook me.

“Okay, Kody, stop talking in riddles and tell me what the fuck happened? What did you do?”

I only dared to peek at her and turned my gaze to the floor and got to chewing my lip.

“I…I kissed him,” I said, barely audible even to myself.

“You…what? You kissed him?”

I wanted to find out how pissed she was but at the same time I didn’t want to see the wrath on her face. I couldn’t disappoint one more person tonight.

“Yeah.”

“That’s wonderful!” she cheered.

I looked up, frowning. “What do you mean it’s wonderful?”

She smirked. “I knew I caught a spark between you two. Nova is a wonderful guy.”

“I know. He is. He really, truly is. But…”

“But what?” she asked.

“Are you not mad? Are you not pissed?”

Her brows knotted in confusion. “Why would I be pissed?”

“Because we’re supposed to be engaged and I kissed your best friend.”

Jenna blinked as if she were processing what I said, and after a moment she shook her head again. “You do remember we’re not actually in love, right? Like, you realize our marriage is sham?”

“Yeah, but still. I made you a promise.”

“What promise is that? That you wouldn’t be involved with anyone even though you gave me the okay to do that? Are you being serious right now?”

I sighed. “I don’t know. I…I don’t know.”

I turned away from her and collapsed on the couch.

“What’s going on Kody? Tell me what’s going through your head?” She sat next to me and took my hand in hers.

“I really like Nova. Like really really like him. I think maybe I’m falling in love with him, but…we made a deal and I don’t want to go back on it.”

“Seriously?” Jenna groaned. “You know I’ll live, right?”

“But still. What if I ruin everything and he doesn’t want me anyway?”

Jenna stared at me as if calculating something in her head and then nodded to herself. “Can I tell you the truth?” she asked.

“What truth?”

She pursed her lips from side to side, took a deep breath and gave my hand an extra squeeze. “I changed my mind.”

I stared at her completely confused.

“Did you hear me?”

“I did. But I don’t understand. Changed your mind about what?”

“About the wedding. Us getting married. The whole thing.”

I sat back and stared at my cooling cocoa on the coffee table.

“Why? When? How?”

If she’d changed her mind, did that mean she wouldn’t be mad if I pursued something with Nova? Had all my problems fixed themselves? Well, except for the one I couldn’t control—whether Nova liked me too.

“Like a couple months ago.”

“We’ve literally been engaged for three months.”

“Yeah, I know. But I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me. I was a chicken. I just…I guess I didn’t want you to think I was being Jenna again, all flaky and shit.”

“So you were happy to marry me just so I didn’t think you’re flaky? Jenna, I know you are. I’ve been your best friend for fifteen years. If that bothered me I wouldn’t be your friend.”

Jenna pouted and hugged me. “I’m sorry. And I’m sorry my cowardice has made this so much harder for you.”

I shrugged. “It’s fine. We got there in the end.”

“We did.”

“Does that mean you’re gonna go after Nova?”

I wanted to. I really did. But…

“I don’t think going after him would help. Not after I kissed him.”

“Huh? Why?” she asked.

“Because…he probably thinks the worst of me right now. He probably thinks I’d tell any lie to win him over. He needs to hear the truth…from you.”

Jenna grimaced. “What if I come with you and give you the thumbs up?”

I glared at her.

“Fine. I’ll go find him.”

She shot up and made for the door.

“Oh and Jenna,” I said before she left.

“What?”

“Can you…like make sure he likes me?”

Jenna groaned. “I think that’s pretty obvious, sweetheart. But sure. I’ll make sure.”

I watched her leave and even though I should’ve felt like a coward for not going with her or that I left her to take care of things I didn’t.

We were in this mess because of her silly, drunken idea.

A silly, drunken idea that had led Nova into my life though, so maybe it wasn’t that silly after all.