Page 28 of Prince She Shouldn’t Crave (Royal House of Halrovia #2)

‘Did she tell you that her mother is said to be a notorious mistress, to a man who kept two households? One legitimate, one illegitimate. Who’s to say Lena Rosetti isn’t wanting the same from you?

Her father’s not named on her or her brother’s birth certificate, yet the rumours abound about his identity.

Did she tell you that as well? Lena Rosetti is unclaimed.

She’s a stray. And she is entirely unsuitable to be the partner of Halrovia’s Crown Prince and next King. ’

Lena froze in the front foyer of Gabriel’s apartment. She’d forgotten her mobile when she’d left this morning and hadn’t been thinking. She’d simply walked into his rooms without any care until…

Unclaimed? A stray? Entirely unsuitable?

She’d caught everything .

‘Enough.’ Gabe’s voice was like she’d never heard before. Forceful. Cold, with a crack of anger. ‘You will not speak of Lena, of any of my employees, like that ever again.’

She should leave immediately and yet remained frozen to the spot, wanting to listen to it all in some masochistic desire to hear Gabriel’s responses.

And yet when she had heard… The pain of it all knifed deep.

He’d made it clear. No matter what they might have shared, she’d always been his employee.

What had she been thinking?

The truth was, she hadn’t. It was all a blissful fantasy till reality invaded, because she wanted belonging.

She wanted someone to want her . She wanted that man to be Gabe.

Was that what had happened to her mother?

Falling into a trap that she’d been unable to extricate herself from, wanting to feel wanted too?

By a man as unavailable to her mother as Gabe was to her?

She didn’t know. But in this moment, Lena finally understood her mother a little better.

There was movement ahead of her and yet she was fixed to the spot.

Not understanding why every word had been a knife to her heart.

As though she were bleeding out here. There’d been no talk of a future between them.

She and Gabriel had been living in the moment, hadn’t they?

But hearing it said out loud, ‘I’m in no hurry to marry…

’ made her finally face the truth, that maybe it was marriage she’d wanted all along.

That she’d wanted Gabe, not for the short time they’d agreed, but for ever .

Even if for ever hadn’t been promised to her.

The Queen swept into the hall with Gabriel following, striding behind her. He cast Lena a brief glance, eyes widening for a second in surprise at her presence before a cold impassive demeanour slid over his face once more.

Any words choked in Lena’s throat. She gave a quick curtsey as they passed, refusing to allow anyone to see her pain, holding it deep inside.

Her Majesty didn’t even deign to look at her.

It was as if she simply didn’t exist. Was that how her mother had always felt?

Ignored? Invisible? She’d believed her only true parent had enjoyed her position, having been in it so long.

Now Lena was coming to understand what might have held her mother in place, and what it had cost her.

Lena couldn’t stay still now. She walked further into Gabe’s apartment, found her phone.

Not willing to face the Queen, or even Gabriel.

She could slip out again, into the secret passageway that ran through the walls here, and melt away.

When Gabe had first shown it to her, she’d thought it exciting.

The thrill of walking through it from her own room in the employee’s quarters, to his own.

Heart pounding with every footstep as she got closer to the secret latch that opened a door into his rooms.

She’d imagined all kinds of things on those walks through the dimly lit corridors behind the walls.

The thrill of two lovers, meeting in secret.

Lena realised now that this was what had kept her going through the brutal walk back to her own room each morning.

When all she wanted to do was to stay, not leave before daybreak and pretend until night fell again and the fantasy could begin once more. Because that was all it had been.

A fantasy.

Now, reality slapped her in the face. This hadn’t simply been about ‘living in the moment’ or losing her virginity. She had feelings for Gabriel. She wanted more . Looking back, she probably always had.

‘What did you hear?’

She gave a bitter laugh. ‘Enough.’

Especially his mother’s comments about her and her family. The ones that cut to her marrow.

‘Is it true, about your parents?’

That was where he first went to? But of course.

She was simply a commoner. One who’d done the unforgivable and fallen for a prince.

She lifted her chin. Seeing things clearly now when she hadn’t understood before.

‘My mother’s only sin was to love a man.

My father’s, such as he was, far greater.

But they had a long relationship that lasted till he died. Most people can’t say the same.’

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

Part of her wanted to believe he sounded almost hurt that she hadn’t disclosed the truth, but she refused to accept that he was experiencing that kind of emotion, after what she’d heard.

‘Because it wasn’t relevant. Because I didn’t want any judgement imposed on either me, or my mother. Because I’ve had enough to last a lifetime .’

Because, Lena realised now, she could accept judgement from most people since they didn’t matter. It would have crushed her if that sentiment had ever come from Gabe.

His eyes widened, yet he didn’t seem chastened at all. He almost looked…pitying. She loathed pity in all its forms. She’d been pitied, disdained, for most of her life.

‘ Lena , I wouldn’t have judged you, or your family.’

Perhaps that was right, but everyone else would have, and, no matter what might have happened between them, Prince Gabriel clearly didn’t want her enough to have overcome it. He was a prince, and princes didn’t choose people with indeterminate backgrounds like hers.

‘I suppose you did say you enjoyed my company, and that my professionalism was impeccable. But I thought you might have… liked me, just a little.’

She hated how that statement showed her weakness.

She’d wanted to be more than liked, she realised.

She’d wanted to be loved. So very much. To be seen for who she truly was.

Someone with a good heart who was interested in people.

Who cared about showing the world the truth about a person, finding the good in those who were worthy, rather than mining the bad.

She’d wanted to be seen as enough, even if she’d been kidding herself, because Gabe’s view of her was built on a false picture.

He’d never truly seen her because he didn’t have the full truth.

And she had no one to blame for that but herself.

‘I do, like you. And there’s no reason why this should change anything.’

She’d spent her whole short life trying not to be her mother’s daughter, and yet here she was.

Did her mother have these same conversations with her father?

A public figure who could never truly be with her, so she’d had to accept whatever shreds of himself he’d deign to supply?

Was that what Gabe would offer her too? That was not what she wanted.

Lena shook her head. How couldn’t he see?

‘It changes everything .’

‘Why? I understand this is your first physical relationship with a man so you might not realise that the chemistry we have is something rare. Something to be explored, not thrown away. My family has no part in what’s happening between us.’

Yet again, there was no talk of feeling and, right now, her whole body was awash with it.

The pain of what couldn’t be. Because he might have wanted her for the physical side of their relationship, but he didn’t want her for anything more.

He was like every other man, who coveted what they saw physically, and didn’t care for anything else.

She could have laughed at how she hadn’t listened to lessons that her life should have taught her.

Self-deception sure was an intoxicating and potent drug.

‘What if one of us decides they want something more?’ Though she knew there was really no ‘us’ in this situation. The person who wanted more was her.

Gabriel frowned, but it was so hard to read him right now she didn’t know what it meant. Annoyance, frustration. She couldn’t tell.

‘I thought we were enjoying each other. If you’re talking marriage, that’s a long way off for me. I’m interested in now, which is what you said you wanted too. Time to think of futures much later.’

That might be okay if Gabriel were just any man. A commoner like her. But he wasn’t. He was the Crown Prince of Halrovia. With duties and expectations imposed on him, that he’d willingly accepted. His commitment was what would make him such a good king when the time came.

‘And what if one day you decided I was the woman for you? Can you imagine how it would impact your image? Because I can. Let’s think up a headline…

’ Lena tapped her finger to her lips. ‘ The Prince’s Shocking Romance!

From Mistress’s Daughter to Future Queen?

I bet it’s something your family could write themselves. ’

‘I don’t care about my image. I don’t care about the headlines.’

He started forward, towards her, as if to take her in his arms. To comfort. But there was no way to make this better. She held her hand up in a stop motion. To his credit, Gabe didn’t move a step further.

‘Yes, you do. I was employed to help you fix them. You enjoyed it and you changed because of it. You do care. To say anything else is kidding yourself.’

Lena didn’t want to be the one to destroy his image.

She wanted to protect him. It wasn’t just her background that was the problem, but the workplace romance too.

Everything about this would see him judged, even though she’d been a willing party and in many ways the instigator of her own downfall.

Well, she wouldn’t be the cause of Gabriel’s downfall as well.

‘You need to listen to me.’

‘No, I don’t.’ No matter what she agreed to, in the end he’d come to his senses and the story would be the same. One she was painfully familiar with. Gullible woman falls for high-profile, unavailable man.

‘Our positions are clear. You broke some rules and so did I.’

‘Good God, Lena.’ Gabe raked his hands through his hair. ‘I care about you.’

Like. Care. They were words, sure. Once they might have been enough. But they were bland now. Mere scraps thrown from a table of emotions when she wanted the whole banquet.

‘My job’s never been to make your life hard, Your Highness.’

Gabe’s eyes widened. ‘It’s Gabriel, not Your Highness. I don’t want easy. I don’t need easy. Whatever rash decision you’re about to make, the answer is no.’

As much as she needed to support her family, Lena needed to respect herself more.

She knew the risks if she stayed. How easy it would be to be sucked back into the vortex that was Gabriel Montroy, dying a little each day because she was showing the man she loved to the world, and he could never choose her.

Then what if he met the perfect princess bride?

She’d be left as an unacknowledged footnote in his history.

That was something she couldn’t bear. ‘You don’t have a choice.

There’s no future here. There never was.

One day you’ll come to realise I was right, and you’ll thank me for it.

But it’s time to go. I resign, Your Highness, effective immediately.

Thank you for trusting me, when others might not have.

Given I’ve exceeded your objectives, I look forward to my reference. ’

Before he could say anything, Lena turned and strode out of his apartment.

Walked away, before she could fling herself into his arms and beg him to love her.

The tears burned in her eyes and she let them fall because doing the right thing was hard, and there was no shame in that.

Lena loved Gabriel, but she loved herself even more.

And sometimes the best way to love was to let a person go.