Page 19 of Prince She Shouldn’t Crave (Royal House of Halrovia #2)

She’d spent enough time thinking of others, worrying about what they thought of her.

It all felt like a millstone round her neck because she had begun to realise what she might have been holding onto wasn’t a sense of responsibility, but of fear.

Fear of being criticised, fear of being seen as somehow lacking.

Lena was tired of it. Holding back. Being less.

Her virginity, which was another thing she realised she’d clung to in an effort to protect herself.

To allow someone into your body you had to trust them, and she realised she didn’t really trust much at all.

Why would she? Her parents hadn’t set great examples.

Her mother choosing secrecy over the welfare of her own children and her father showing how fickle he was prepared to be.

For so long she’d believed if that was how people treated each other in relationships and families then she wanted no part of it.

Especially when everything in her life seemed to be secrets and lies.

Except for now. There was a kind of truth in this room. This…thing that seemed to be growing larger and more palpable. She’d begun to feel as if Gabe valued her, trusted her. And in the tumult of her emotions a tiny seed of something fragile had begun to sprout and grow inside her.

She might just trust him too.

‘You look beautiful,’ Gabriel said, then raked his hand through his no longer neat hair, displacing it until a curl flopped over his forehead. Rubbed his hands over his face. ‘That was wrong of me. I shouldn’t have said it. You need to go.’

She should. Lena knew it was the sensible thing to do, but nothing would make her move backwards out of this room.

She’d spent a lifetime trying to be good, be sensible, so that people would like her.

Her father, her teachers, her schoolmates.

And for what? That green shoot deep inside her grew leaf, blossomed.

She felt so full, and so aching and empty at the same time.

Instead of leaving, she moved forwards into him.

‘What if I don’t want to?’

He made a sound as if the air had been punched out of him. ‘You should.’

‘But I like that you wish I’d been with you, by your side. I like that you think I’m beautiful.’

‘I’m your employer, you’re my employee.’

‘Before all of that I’m a woman.’

‘Yes, you are unmistakably a woman. But there’s a power imbalance here, and that doesn’t make it fair on you.’

She put her hands on her hips, stared him down. She was tired of being seen as powerless. Right now, she was full to the brim with her sense of how powerful she truly was. An unfamiliar, intoxicating sensation.

‘An imbalance? Why do you think I don’t have all the power here? With a bad series of posts or saying the wrong thing, I could destroy your reputation irrevocably. Who has the power now, Gabriel? It seems that it’s all with me.’

He pushed away from the mantelpiece and stalked towards her. Stern, intent. Goosebumps peppered her skin. A shivery kind of sensation overtook her, as if she were coming down with something, running hot and cold all over.

‘You’d destroy me, would you?’

Her cheeks flushed. She wanted to protect him, not destroy him. Lena bit into her lower lip. ‘Well, no, but I could.’

‘What if you already have?’

A pulse started deep and low at her core. The relentless ache intensified inside her.

‘Gabriel,’ she whispered.

‘I like the way you say my name. Say it again.’

‘Gabriel.’

He clenched and unclenched his hands. Then Gabriel flexed his fingers as if itching to touch her but trying to hold back.

‘A-are you expecting Pieter?’ She knew if anyone walked in on them, the night would be over even before it began, and she didn’t want to stop whatever might happen between them.

‘No, I’ve given him the night off.’

They stood close now, as they had the evening before, free to see where things took them. Did she want this? The answer, clear in her head, was yes . She might see Gabriel, but she believed that he saw her too. Had chosen her. Valued her in a way she’d never been before. As Lena Rosetti, the woman.

The way Gabriel looked at her now. As if he were starved.

As if she were the only woman left on earth.

So intent… If she was going to lose her virginity, then why not with someone like him?

Someone handsome, someone who stole her breath.

Who thought of others. She was sure he’d take care—not that she was really planning to tell him about her virginity, but he seemed like the type of man who’d look after any woman he was with.

That thought stung. She didn’t like the idea of him with anybody else, but knew that was the reality of who they both were. Perhaps she needed to reinforce it.

‘I understand what this is. How it has to be.’

‘Do you?’ Gabe chuckled, but didn’t sound very entertained. ‘Because I’m not sure myself.’

‘I’m not asking for promises. I realise that this is behind closed doors. And I have no expectations.’

‘You sell yourself so short. Stop. You’re worth more than you know.’

Her whole life she’d been waiting to hear those words.

Confirmation of what she’d hoped, then believed.

That Gabriel acknowledged her value as a person, when most of the time she’d felt either dismissed, or invisible.

Finally, someone had given voice to an unmet need she’d carried for years.

To be seen for who she was, to be seen as worthy.

It was overwhelming, like a burden lifting, even if the sensation lasted for only a night.

‘You have no idea what that means to me.’ The burn of tears pricked at her eyes, and she blinked them away.

‘I fear I do,’ he said, ‘and that makes the world an unfair place.’

Lena tilted her head up, and her lips parted. She craved his touch, his kiss. To do something to channel this emotion that was banked up inside her, though she had no idea how to initiate things. What to do with all the feelings threatening to overwhelm her.

‘Life’s unfair. We just have to snatch what joy and pleasure we can when it’s offered, and live the rest the best way possible.’

Gabriel shut his eyes for a moment, took a deep, slow breath, then opened them again. It was as if something had changed. His jaw clenched, nostrils flaring in a kind of determination.

‘You know what’s bound to happen if you don’t leave? You know where this is heading?’

‘Yes.’

‘Tell me you want it as much as I do.’

‘I want you more than my next breath,’ she said.

‘Thank God.’

She wanted to lose herself in him, and his body. But she knew that she might just find herself as well. Although there were rules, she was sure. Unspoken ones, which she needed to voice.

‘Gabriel, I know it’s just for tonight. I know what we are—’

He placed a finger gently on her lips where it burned like a brand. His other hand settled on her waist as Gabriel slipped his arm around her, and she craved for him to touch every part of her, to kiss her, to fill the terrible emptiness gnawing deep inside.

‘There’s no difference between us. We’re two people who want.

Tonight’s all we have, so I plan to give you the world for one evening,’ he murmured as he dropped his head to hers, and their lips touched—his mouth soft, coaxing.

The tenderness of him in this moment, as if giving thanks, as if fusing her to him.

He tightened his hold and deepened the kiss.

She opened for him, their tongues touching.

She didn’t have time to be shy. Sensation overwhelmed her.

She pressed against his body, into the hardness of him, relishing his arousal, knowing she’d done this to such a magnificent man.

It gave some truth to her statement that she had all the power here, though she felt the scales tipping at his masterful touch.

He pulled away. She didn’t want to let him go. His breath came in heavy gusts. Gabe took her hand.

‘What you do to me,’ he said, and placed it on his groin. He was so hard—the feel of him made her ache inside. She clutched him and stroked through the fabric. He moaned, the sound deep and carnal, making her catch fire. Tremble with need.

‘Come to bed. Let me make love to you,’ he said.

There was only ever one answer for her.

‘Yes.’

He swept her into his arms. This wasn’t like the moment on the terrace.

This was something else, purposeful, almost romantic, if she didn’t know this was all they could have.

He strode into the bedroom and placed her down gently at the end of the bed, looking at her feet in their strappy gold sandals.

‘Shame there are no heels.’

Lena wanted to say next time , but there were rules and she’d stick by them. ‘You just want me to fall into you so you can catch me. I know your style.’

He laughed deep and low, the sound rumbling right through her. ‘I wanted to feel them digging into my back as you screamed in pleasure underneath me.’

Lena almost dissolved on the spot in a puddle of need. What could she say in response? She had nothing in her repertoire. Luckily Gabriel knew exactly what to do. He undid the tiny buttons at the side of her waist, holding her dress in place.

‘You’re like the most precious gift for me to unwrap.’

The front of the dress fell open. Then he moved forward and unclipped the snap between her cleavage that kept the bodice together, trailing his lips up her neck to her ear.

‘Beautiful,’ he murmured as goosebumps showered over her skin.

Lena shivered with the pleasure of it. She wanted him to unwrap her, to unravel her, to pull her apart at the seams. She could put herself back together in the morning, but right now, she was thankful for his control.

He reached to the other side of the dress, where ties held it together inside.

Slowly, he undid one bow, then the next, until the skirt came apart, and he stood back, staring at her, his mouth partly open, looking deliciously dishevelled.

‘I need to be inside you,’ he said.

‘I need that too.’