Page 27 of Prince She Shouldn’t Crave (Royal House of Halrovia #2)
His palace apartments felt stultifying after the freedom of his time away.
Even though the building had seven hundred rooms and five apartments spread out over different wings, he still had this clawing sensation, as if he were trapped.
He’d chosen his apartments to be at the opposite end from his parents and even that was too close.
Nothing seemed to fit right now. His tie appeared too tight, the fine wool of his suits prickled.
He was uncomfortable in everything he did.
The only time he had a modicum of peace and felt he could truly be was with Lena.
After a long day he’d let Pieter go for the evening, shut his door, and wait for the click of the secret door in his dressing room.
He and Lena would spend the evening over dinner, talking about the day. Their nights, making love. In the morning they’d wake early and Lena would leave. Then they’d start over again, to the world appearing as employer and employee until night fell and they could be lovers once more.
Only it was harder and harder to let her go as the sun rose each morning. Not reaching out to touch her in public. All things that had once seemed inconceivable, now as natural as breathing. Simple, yet impossibly complicated.
When he was with her, he wasn’t thinking about a past or a future, he simply was . Present in the moment. He started each day with enthusiasm, evident in the headlines that were to Lena’s credit. It was clear she saw something he’d thought he’d lost. Showing the world as well.
He wasn’t sure what he’d do when she left to take care of her family, even though that wouldn’t be for ever.
She’d come back. But…what if she didn’t?
Lise and Rafe had all but offered her a job.
No doubt they’d pay a premium for her, and her family needed the money…
Those thoughts made his chest tighten. No, she’d return. There was no question of it.
But what was she returning to? There’d been no promises between them, only short term with an uncertain end date.
Once, that had seemed enough. To live firmly in the present with what they had, till things burned out between them.
Where the future felt like something distant and unreachable.
Except things didn’t feel as though they were burning out. They were burning hotter.
He looked at himself in the mirror. The same face but, in so many ways, changed.
Today he was opening a library. There, he knew he’d be asked to read a book to the children, but it didn’t bother him any more.
He’d practised reading it with Lena till the concern that he might stumble and forget something abated.
All because she had a faith in him few others seemed to hold.
Gabe wanted to sit with that realisation, what it meant, for him to have someone who was becoming so vital to him.
What he needed was time, to sift through these complicated feelings running through him.
To work out what they meant, because he’d never been in this position before.
Time was something he’d find, except this morning he needed to button himself back into the role of Prince Gabriel, rather than Gabe Montroy. The man whose name Lena loved to scream to the room…
He shook his head with a wry smile to his reflection, then walked into the sitting room and grabbed his coffee, which he’d taken to leaving a little later in the morning given Lena’s usual presence here.
Nothing had been said, it was no one’s business, but Gabe had the sense Pieter’s normally cool demeanour had warmed a fraction.
He took the time to relish the drink, before putting on a tie and getting the day started.
His valet walked into the room. ‘Sir, may I suggest no tie today? Perhaps a more casual approach, for the children.’
‘Are you falling under Ms Rosetti’s influence?’
Pieter grinned. ‘No, sir. She suggested a tie adorned with a popular cartoon character. That would never do.’
Gabe snorted. ‘No. Perhaps not. What do the headlines say today?’
He could read them himself with less trouble now his stress had seemed to ease, a revelation that gave him hope things would improve even further.
Something else to thank Lena for. Still, this was a routine with Pieter he enjoyed, particularly the way his valet read the headlines with such delicious disdain.
‘I quite like this—’
A knock sounded at the door of his apartment, which immediately opened. His mother striding through. He gave her a quick bow, the visit unexpected.
She waved her hand at Pieter. ‘You may leave us.’
The fact she tried to dismiss his staff rankled.
‘Pieter was about to tell me what the headlines said.’
Pieter didn’t move.
His mother walked to the coffee table, picked up one tabloid. Whilst Lena laughed that it was ‘old school’ not looking at the papers online, these habits were old ones.
‘Ah, yes. “Sisters Marry. Is Prince Gabriel Next? Speculation Grows as Nation Waits!” ’
‘Hyperbole,’ Gabe said. ‘Cilla isn’t married yet.’
‘Priscilla will be married soon enough,’ his mother said, ominously.
He was aware he’d need to marry some day.
It was just that he never gave it much thought other than as a concept.
He was thirty-two. There was no rush. His father was well.
He had years to take the throne. Though a vision slammed into his consciousness, of Lena looking up at him, soft focus behind a veil…
They were thoughts better had at another time. He filed them for later reference.
‘Too many royal weddings too soon seems excessive.’
‘Let’s read another headline, shall we?’
His mother’s tone was prickly, but then that tended to be her default, though she usually reserved her ire for her daughters, who had never lived up to her lofty expectations.
His mother’s lips pursed as if she’d tasted something unpleasant. ‘“From Eligible to Engaged? Prince Gabriel’s New Look Fuels Bride Search Buzz!”’
Gabe looked around and noticed that Pieter had quietly and sensibly slid from the room.
‘Is there a point to your visit, Mother?’
‘It seems that your makeover’s working. Therefore, Miss Rosetti’s services are no longer required. The role can be absorbed by others, using her formula for success.’
No!
The word shouted in his head. It was all he could do to keep quiet and not to shout the word at his mother. Lena’s formula for success? She understood him. No one else could achieve the same because no one knew him as Lena did.
‘ Others have tried in the past, and they’ve failed. Lena stays.’
His mother grabbed another paper. Read it. Fixed him with her cold blue gaze.
‘“All Eyes on Prince Gabriel’s Change: Is Love in the Air?”’
His heart skipped a beat. Stilled. Why were they talking about love?
‘The tabloid editors are being ridiculous. Royal weddings sell. Speculation about royal weddings sell even more.’
‘Your father seems happy enough to allow this to continue. I know better.’ His mother’s voice was as cold as the first slap of a winter’s wind across your face.
‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’
‘Save me the lies, Gabriel! You couldn’t fool me when you were a child, and you don’t fool me now. A dalliance is acceptable when the rules are followed.’
Gabe’s blood froze. How could anyone know?
They’d been careful. Whilst there was some element of protecting himself, he wanted to protect Lena from the vultures who’d descend.
There was nothing wrong with what they were doing.
They were two consenting adults. Whilst he’d once been sure it would burn itself out, he wasn’t ready for it to stop now.
In fact, he wasn’t sure he wanted it to stop at all.
‘You have no rights to be having this conversation with me.’
‘I’m Queen . I have every right. What’s happening here is plain.
A change. A new look. Words about love on the front page?
Tell me, Gabriel. What’s brought about that change?
You have feelings for the woman. Heaven save us from doe-eyed commoners who seek a station higher than their entitlements.
She’s your employee . What did we tell you?
Stay within your circle, where everyone understands what’s possible and what’s impossible. Yet here we are. Again. ’
A fire burned inside him. He wasn’t some teenager who didn’t know his own mind.
He was the Crown Prince of Halrovia, the country’s future, as Lena liked to remind him.
Whilst Gabriel didn’t want a war within his family, he’d demand to be treated like an adult.
This remained no one’s business other than his own.
He didn’t have to admit anything. Especially not to his parents.
‘Your Majesty, I respect you as my mother but I’m an adult. Stay out of my business. My love life is my own. I will not be speaking about it with you. You’re jumping at shadows whereas I’m here, settled in reality.’
In a reality where he no longer saw why he and Lena couldn’t continue to see each other.
This was supposed to be a modern monarchy.
When Ana’s engagement had been agreed, she’d simply left with her fiancé before they’d even set a wedding date.
He’d been a commoner. Things like bloodlines didn’t matter any more, not to Gabe, anyhow.
‘The woman is a menace. What of her mother, her father? Do you know anything about them?’
‘Conversations about parents are irrelevant. I enjoy Lena’s company. Her professionalism and how she’s acquitted herself are impeccable. I’m in no hurry to marry and, once again, I am an adult capable of managing my own life. You have no place there.’
His mother’s lips narrowed as if preparing to spit out the next words.