Page 17 of Prince She Shouldn’t Crave (Royal House of Halrovia #2)
There’d not been a second’s thought from his family. The utter dismissal still rankled, late at night when he lay awake, thinking of Halrovia’s future and how he might shape it for the good of his people.
‘It does matter.’
His feet crunched on the gravel beneath them, his footfalls faster and faster as if to escape the feelings swirling round him.
Yet all he heard in Lena’s sentence was, You matter.
He didn’t know why it hit him like a blade through the heart.
An aching, needy thing that had no place in his life, and yet, he still held on to it tight, no matter the stabbing pain it unleashed.
‘It’s going to be years before you’re King. Would it have mattered so much if you’d had an international football career?’
It had to his parents. So much about him mattered to them, but never his wants or needs.
His dyslexia, his desire to play football professionally, to see what he could achieve.
All meaningless. ‘It’s common!’ his mother had said about his request to at least try out for an international football career before his world had completely imploded with threats of betrayal.
‘My parents and their private secretary felt a career in football was beneath my role as heir, and how it would be seen by Halrovia.’
A crease bisected Lena’s brow as they walked past a formal garden. Clipped, restrained. Why did it remind him of himself, when all he wanted right now was colour and chaos?
Why did he want to shout out the real reason that he had to give up everything? The guilt he carried for it?
‘With respect, sir, your parents’ private secretary has done such a sensational job to date, I’m of the view he doesn’t have a single clue about how you’d be seen by Halrovia. I mean, look at how well it’s gone so far.’
The sarcasm poured hot and thick from her, though somewhat discordant with her attempt at formality.
He couldn’t help himself. He laughed. Around Lena, he seemed to want to laugh much of the time.
What would his parents’ private secretary think of this slip of a woman who had no tertiary education making that comment?
Gabriel desperately wanted to see it, and see her cut him down to size.
He’d bet the Halrovian kingdom that Lena would rival his mother in that skill if she really put her mind to it.
‘I shouldn’t have said that,’ she whispered. ‘I’m sorry.’
He suspected that she’d meant more than just his parents’ private secretary too, that the criticism of his parents was implied as well.
Gabriel didn’t much care.
‘There’s no need to apologise. I applaud honesty, and you’re right,’ he said. ‘Your employment is incontrovertible evidence.’
She cocked her head, pierced him with her vivid gaze. ‘Do you trust me?’
‘Yes.’ He didn’t have to think about that answer and a sense of relief swept over him.
Whilst most people around him deferred to him because of duty, she didn’t.
He liked the challenge of her. The way she tried to find who he was, not accept what she’d been told or shown.
And, in many ways, he knew that she had his back.
‘That, there?’ She waved her hand behind her. ‘That’s who people want to see…sir.’
Something seemed to have shifted. A kind of knowing. This formality between them, it felt wrong .
‘Gabriel. In private, call me Gabriel.’
Her eyes widened. ‘Okay…’
‘So long as you’re comfortable with the invitation.’ In her role she’d likely be witness to some of his most intimate and vulnerable private moments, and it felt wrong to maintain this false formality between them.
‘I am… Gabriel.’
It was like being thrown in a blast furnace.
The sound of his name slipping from her lips as she tried it out.
Did she like saying it? He couldn’t understand why he wanted to know so badly.
He shrugged the strange sensation off. It was nothing.
He’d offered the same to his private secretary, who’d politely refused because he didn’t feel it was right.
However, Lena wasn’t from Halrovia. He wasn’t going to be her king, so it mattered less.
Or that was what he was trying to convince himself…
‘Excellent.’
He wasn’t a man who dwelled too much on his decisions, but he was likely to ruminate over this one and, for that, he needed time.
‘So,’ she said as they approached the car. ‘I took a video.’
‘Really.’ He didn’t know what he thought about that, only that he quite liked that she seemed to have enjoyed what she’d seen enough to video it.
‘As I said, it was…impressive.’ Her vivid blue eyes seemed to darken. ‘And given you said you trust me… I’d like to post it to your social media pages.’
His heart missed a beat. For a few seconds he had to think about how that made him feel.
His football had been a loss. He’d tried to set it aside, even though in the end he still did some practice because he’d loved the game.
Showing that side of him again? In many ways it left him exposed, reminding him of a time that was raw and painful.
One he didn’t really want to talk about.
‘Do you want to go viral?’ Lena asked, perhaps sensing his hesitation for reasons even he couldn’t fully articulate. Yet, why not? It was what Lena had been employed for. She wanted to, and he believed in her judgement. She hadn’t been wrong yet.
‘Let’s do it.’
She smiled, and it was a glorious thing.
Full of warmth and happiness. Her eyes dancing with excitement.
Was it because she was doing her job and was happy to be doing it well?
Or was it that he’d given her proof that he trusted her?
Gabe wasn’t sure, even though he enjoyed her smile.
Took it as a precious gift bestowed upon him.
‘You’ve been working hard, and the results speak for themselves. Even my parents’ secretary seems happy.’ As if that were any yardstick. ‘I have the state dinner tonight so you can take the rest of the day off.’
‘Thank you, si— Gabriel.’
Gabe rarely second-guessed his decisions.
Even though they’d failed him in the past, he’d honed his instincts on sharp and brutal experience and, now, they were invariably right.
Still, hearing Lena say his name did something to him.
It was like the sultriest music. It started a drumbeat of desire deep and low.
Perhaps he enjoyed the sound of his name from her mouth just a little too much.