Page 9

World on Fire

Delores

I don’t like the notion that Fitz sees mathematical outcomes that he isn’t sharing with us.

My extroverted tiger loves to babble about any and everything, so it’s easy to deduce that it’s because they are extremely unfavorable.

He’s protecting me and maybe the rest of guys by not bringing up whatever ‘inaccuracies’ he deems improbable.

It’s commendable and very sweet, but I still don’t like it.

Just because some damn code smashes statistics and probabilities doesn’t mean it will happen and saying it out loud isn’t guaranteeing a result, either.

However, my brain imagining what he’s keeping to himself is a dangerous prospect because I have a wild imagination.

It makes my anxiety spike slightly as Felix pulls into the parking area for the train station, but that’s replaced quickly by my awe at the sprawling hub.

I feel like I’m a total rube for being so slack-jawed at something most preds would consider normal.

How can I help it, though? My shitastic parents kept me tucked away at Drew Manor like I was deformed—not that it would be an excuse—and I missed out on regular people shit.

I’ve seen this kind of thing in movies or on TV, obviously, but that’s not the same as stepping into the sunlight to hear, see, and smell the experience of mass transit.

Perhaps it seems like I’m romanticizing something that’s annoying and grimy, but I’m not.

I’m just experiencing shit for the first time like a small child would, and I can’t keep myself from grinning as I get to tick another thing off of my list. If I were with my ex-friends, people would mock me and act as though I’m a slavering moron, but luckily, that’s not the case here.

“It’s exciting, non ?” Rennie says as he takes my hand. “I remember the first time I was in a big city as a small pup, and I imagine this is a similar feeling for you.”

Nodding, I look around, watching the people bustle about in fascination. “It’s a lot, but invigorating is a good description. The energy is so high that it feels tangible.”

“That’s because this is a shared space, bite size. We will make our way to the part where our kind check-in, and once we have our tickets, we can settle in the lounge. Felix being a tight-ass paid off; we’re early enough to have time to explain how this will work.”

My expression is grateful as I listen to Aubrey calmly explaining this simple thing and once again making me feel less unsophisticated. “Thanks, big guy. I think that sounds perfect.”

Felix hauls the last of our stuff out of the trunk with Chess and Fitz, grunting as he sets the bags and cases on the ground. “ Someone has over-packed.”

The way he looks around pointedly tells me it isn’t just one person, but I smile sweetly and take my shoulder bag and smaller rolling case. “Fitzy? Do you have the bigger ones?”

“On it, Baby Girl. Chessie, you get my emergency bag, yeah?” My cheetah nods, then winks at me as the hyper tiger extends the handles so he can roll both their and my suitcase simultaneously. “Ready to move, General Asshat!”

“For fuck’s sake, Fitz,” Felix mutters, almost to himself. “Get it under control until we board at least?”

I chuckle as Fitz makes faces at his brother, turning back to Rennie. “I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. Let’s go in.”

Hopefully, I don’t make too much of a fool of myself gaping.

Standing in line amongst humans only increased the spiky vibes in our group.

Fitz was a little crazier, Felix sharper, Aubrey more sarcastic…

It was all their coping mechanisms, I know, but I kept Renard’s hand squeezed in mine tightly to help me regulate myself.

This is the third time I’ve been around humans in my entire life; it makes me jittery still, especially when everyone else seems to react with their version of my anxiety.

I could stay calmer in the small town near Apex with Aubrey because of the holiday allowing me to be a little bunny—rather than being afraid it will come out on its own—and being at the enormous library was easy because I feel safe in libraries.

I’m not sure if that’s because of Aubrey making it my ‘safe place’ when I got to Apex or if my love of books makes that so.

But out in the open, in the middle of vast crowds, is not easy.

Being the child of a Council member who loves to babble on about her ‘triumphs’ when she’s drunk—spoiler alert, that’s all the damn time—I’m aware of what they do to preds who expose us to random humans.

It’s not pretty or desirable, even if it’s a minor infraction.

I refuse to give those motherfuckers a reason to lock me in a hole or kill me legally .

Dictators like Lucille are just slavering for an excuse to get their hands on their detractors; it’s step one in every fascist blueprint in literature or the media.

“Don’t worry, Baby Girl. You’re doing great,” Fitz says softly as he sidles up to my other shoulder. “Not a fluffy tail in sight and if I didn’t know you, I wouldn’t have a clue that you’re so tense that you could launch into outer space with a fart,”

I turn to look at him in horror, my jaw dropping. “ Fitzgerald Ulysses Castor Khan! That was rude !”

He grins wickedly, shrugging as he bats his lashes at me.

“Pretty fucking rude or not, I’m right. You’ve got your ‘Mega Bitch Mom’ look going on with those sunglasses and that face you’re making.

I know you do that when you’re trying to hide how nervous you are, so I distracted you. It worked like a charm.”

Elbowing him in the gut hard, I make a pissy face as I toss my hair. “Bodily functions are not discussion material in public. It’s gross.” I try to keep myself in the haughty posture, but then Felix snickers. My jaw drops again, and I huff. “ You are supposed to be more mature than him, Sir !”

He shakes his head, laughing as he tries to respond. It takes him a moment to get control of his amusement and when he does, he just says, “The imagery was priceless, Princess, especially when you got even tenser as you puffed up in affront. I’m sorry, but… it was fucking hysterical.”

I swear to fuck, men never goddamn grow up even when they’re triple your damn age—all it takes is a fart joke to transport them back to middle school.

“So glad to be your amusement for the day,” I grumble as I look at Renard. “You mentioned a lounge now that we have the tickets? I’m suddenly feeling the need for a drink. This is probably how it starts, you know. Penises drive women to drink, and I don’t know if I can even argue about it anymore.”

Aubrey snorts, grabbing my free hand as he knocks Fitz out of the way. “Come, lunchable. Those of us who didn’t laugh at your rocket fuel flatulence will show you the way.”

That gets the felines, including Chess this time, to crack up as we walk away from the line.

My eyes are narrowed in slits of irritation as I glare at the dragon.

“You did that on purpose and if I wasn’t so annoyed with them, I’d kick your scaly butt to the curb, too.

Right now, Monsieur Broody Pants is the only one with a good chance of getting in my pants anytime soon. ”

The grumpy dragon’s lips curve and he opens his mouth as if he’s going to comment. I glare harder, staring him down, and he backs off sheepishly. “Sorry, snack size. I’m just so used to shooting back quickly at Fitz and Rennie. It’s hard to stop once I start.”

“I probably wouldn’t be as touchy if I weren’t so out of my element,” I admit begrudgingly. “Much like the plane trip, I’m both eager and jumpy, especially with being in proximity to a bunch of people we have to hide our strengths around.”

Aubrey smiles softly. “Good on you for admitting that. It’s hard to show vulnerability in the face of difficulty.”

“ Especially when so many things are assaulting you with newness,” Rennie adds. “Very mature, ma petite . I was not so collected when I first had to walk amongst the costumes de viande . My parents were extremely certain that I would shift and get us banned from our duties, or worse.”

“Was it as… violent a punishment as it is now?” I murmur to him.

“I’ve heard Lucille ramble on about Council punishments for a lot of shit over the years.

I’m definitely not na?ve about what much of them entail.

It’s gruesome to the point of cruelty and it’s all to prove a point—don’t break their rules or you’ll suffer. ”

Renard tilts his head as we walk toward wherever the hell we’re going.

“ Je ne sais pas ? 1 , Dolly. I assume the punishment was severe; my parents feared very little. Gargoyles have been guardians since they came into existence, and we’re raised to be unafraid of things that go bump in the night.

We are supposed to be the terrors of the starlight when necessary, so the fact that they worried about the Council even then speaks volumes about why the Treaty could occur.

It also gives context on why so many families and species groups exile their heirs and children to places like Apex so they do not offend those petty dictators. ”

I don’t think I ever considered it that way—that rather than just being assholes who don’t love their kids, exile might be the safest option for preds who don’t fit the mold.

“I doubt the Raj sent Felix away to keep him safe,” I say as I frown. “Lucille sure as fuck didn’t send me to Apex for a safe education. She hoped they’d kill me in the first week.”

“Ah, well. Not all parents are good people, and nothing is ever a monolith, petite lapin . We might discover that Flames’ or my parents were being more noble than we thought—or we may confirm that they were kowtowing to the more powerful group so they could stay hidden and off of their radar.

I do not expect the former, of course. The decision made about my youthful indiscretion showed me the true nature of those I was raised by… and not just my direct bloodline.”

“Rennie, they were wrong, and it wasn’t an indiscretion.

Falling in love isn’t a failing, even if it doesn’t follow some stupid rule someone made up.

” I bump his shoulder with mine, catching his eyes.

“It was okay to love her, okay to mourn, and yes, even okay to isolate when you were cast out. The only thing you did wrong was to nurse that unnecessary guilt for way too long and not allow the people who care to help you. But you’re doing it now—which is why we’re headed to the mountains. ”

“Point of fact, snack size. We’re there for intel, not to sing ‘kumbaya’. If we get anything out of them, I will consider it a success,” Aubrey grunts. “Otherwise, I would not be on board with risking them hurting him again.”

I wink at the dragon, as the pred flashes in my eyes.

“I know that, big guy, but like I said… That’s no longer an option for the gargoyles to do without paying the piper.

I’d prefer a quiet, fun, restful vacation, but I won’t hesitate to knock someone’s ass to the ground if need be.

I’m not playing with these motherfuckers anymore—not after that gas attack that scared a decade off my lifespan. ”

Rennie sighs as we approach a big, unmarked door in a hallway that looks like it’s employees only.

“I’m quite pleased with both of your bloodthirsty tendencies regarding my well-being, but we should probably cut down the murder chat in here.

Everyone can hear everyone in the pred lounges, so it’s not a safe place to discuss anything that matters. ”

Felix catches up to us, Fitz and Chess in tow, and gives the three of a stern look. “He told you the walls have ears, right?”

I nod, letting go of their hands to cross my arms over my chest and re-affect my ‘Lucille’ persona. “I’m ready for it, Sir. ”