Page 27

Don’t Let the Sun Go Down On Me

Delores

I have to say that I’m not super excited about feeling like I’m the ‘Chosen One ’.

My life has been planned and plotted meticulously by other people ever since I can remember, and when I left for Apex, I felt like I was grabbing my future by the balls to make it my own.

Sure, I wasn’t completely unentangled from my grasping, shithead parents, but my fate was definitely being left up to me.

Live or die—only I could make a difference in that scenario, because they made certain I knew they wouldn’t save me.

When Fitz and the guys came along, I made choices then, too.

Every person I let into my tiny circle was my decision.

As time went by, I built a real family from the ground up, and I’ve been spreading my metaphorical wings wider ever since.

But this? It feels like some corny fate that I can’t escape and I don’t like it.

Obviously, I can’t actually refuse to help save people who aren’t in the position I was with money and privilege behind me.

However, I also can’t help but feel resentful that the mindful choices about my future have suddenly been made void by some stupid bullshit decided before I was conceived.

It’s the cherry on top of a shit sundae that I’ve been forced to eat over and over since my bunny emerged.

Despite my snarky joke earlier, I realize that I can’t simply reject this stuff.

If our test and speculation are accurate, I am the product of a well-orchestrated bio hack to some and a pawn in a bigger chess game to others.

Being pissed about it won’t change that reality, nor will sulking about losing my freedom to choose yet again.

Even in this world where women hold positions of immense power like Lucille, the game is still played like it’s been orchestrated by men.

My genetics weren’t my choice, my future was planned without thought to my needs, and the people in charge see me as either a broodmare or a sacrifice.

Feminism really shot over their heads and landed at the feet of their own internalized misogyny, I guess.

“Princess, you look angry again. We can’t go out there with emotions written on our features because it will?—”

“Give them weapons, I know,” I sigh as I finish primping my hair. “Trust me, Felix. I lived with a self-centered narcissist and a sociopathic bully my entire life. You guys don’t have to give me this pep talk every time, just because I have the only ovaries in the building.”

He blinks, looking surprised. “That’s not why I said it. You being female has nothing to do with why I reminded you.”

I arch a brow at him, struggling to rein in my fury about the situation. He didn’t do this and I shouldn’t take my frustration out on him. “Oh?”

“I said it because you are the beating heart of our family, Delores Drew.” My cynicism must be plain to see because he chuckles.

“Well, yes, Ren and Chess are softer, as well, but you have more hope, more compassion, and less bitterness than all of us combined. You probably should be just as jaded due to your past, but somehow… you’re not.

That might be youth or it might simply be who you are, but your grain of optimism is worth saving.

It shines through when you’re pissed about things like what we discussed tonight not only for yourself, but for everyone else, too. ”

“I’m not a hero of the people,” I grumble. “I’m still a pale-skinned girl who grew up with lots more advantages than others, even if my parents were abusive as fuck.”

“True, but the differences between you and, say, your ex-friends, are as wide as the gap that bridge crossed.” The elder tiger sets his hands on my shoulders, looking in the mirror with me.

“You lost control of everything in one night and then spent an entire summer picking up the pieces. When you came to Apex, you’d shed all those nasty bits everyone tried to grind into you about who you should be, who was worthy, and what was right to form your own code of ethics. ”

“The old ones sucked and I sort of knew it before and didn’t do anything.”

The corner of his lips quirks as he says, “Thus go we all, Princess. None of your mates was using their influence, money, or power to help anyone before you crashed into our lives.”

That makes me give him a questioning look and he relents.

“Okay, the brooding stone man was helping the prey more than we realized. You have me there, but the rest of us were too lost in our applesauce to give a shit about anyone else. That’s where you brought out the best in us and demanded we be better men.

Plenty had tried at that point, including Z, but you figured out how to accept us for who we were while still challenging us to be more.

It’s not nothing, nor could just anyone have done it. ”

Chuckling, I rest my head against his shoulder, looking up at him instead of into the mirror.

“I wasn’t fishing for compliments, Felix.

I just… I guess I’m struggling with the fact that I broke free of the expectations and now I’m being reeled right back in.

Having the choice taken away again is bothering the fuck out of me. ”

“Is it really being taken away, though?”

I blink as Chess wanders in, his off-hand comment throwing me off. “I mean, I can’t change this whole genetic anomaly thing, so yeah.”

“No, but you could choose to ignore it and run for the hills. We’d go with you and no one would judge you. Your friends would probably follow, too.” The cheetah grabs his brush, raking it through his curly locks carefully. “But that’s not what you’re doing, is it?”

Blanching, I bristle with affront. “Of course not! I can’t leave all these people to be killed or imprisoned or whatever their evil plans are.”

Fitz comes in, his handsome face full of smugness. “Ah, but you could , Baby Girl. Lots of preds would , especially ones with your resources. The money we all have means we could run and hide on beaches and shit forever, sipping little umbrella drinks while I try to avoid sand on my dick.”

“The difference is that you don’t even consider that as an option,” Felix rumbles against my back. “That’s why you’re bucking against this so hard; your heart has made that door non-existent, but it is there and you’re choosing not to go through it.”

I blink, turning back to the mirror to stare at our reflections again.

They’re right—I have other decisions I could make, but I’ve marked them as ‘not acceptable’, which is a choice in itself.

I’m not actually trapped in a destiny I have no say in; I had my say, and now I’m left with the remaining options for action.

Damn these assholes for being so fucking smart; I was whipping up a good funk.

“I hate you all,” I grumble as I give in. “I was gearing up for a good brood, you know.”

Rennie pokes his head into the doorway. “ Desolee , ma petite . That’s my schtick.”

I pick up my brush and throw it at him. “Out! There’s already too many big men in this damn bathroom. It’s not like at home where we have enough room for you guys to pile in and gape while I get ready.”

“I don’t gape, Baby Girl. I ogle. ” Fitz grins as he reaches past his twin to grab my ass. “It’s a different vibe.”

Chess laughs as he finishes gathering his hair into his preferred top knot. “And I just needed to get my hair under control, but I couldn’t help myself.”

“Speaking of that, Chessie,” Fitz says as he sits on the closed toilet. “Help me get this mane under control for our big dinner with the royalty. I’d hate to seem unrefined .”

“For fuck’s sake, Fitz,” Felix sighs as he exchanges a look with a smirking Rennie. “I don’t think the point of tonight is to impress anyone. We need them to fill in the gaps of our theories—nothing more.”

“Maybe more if?—”

My gargoyle mate shakes his head, his expression turning sad within seconds.

“It is not likely to be more, petite lapin . The elders, including my parents, are set in their ways and if we are right about the whys? Some extremely powerful shifters have been terrified enough that they acted against their own interest for centuries. Seeing me isn’t going to change that. ”

Walking to the doorway, I poke him in the chest hard.

He doesn’t flinch, but he meets my eyes.

“Stop being so damned self-pitying, Renard Laveaux. They should want to fix their enormous error in judgment, no matter what the consequences, and if they don’t, they do not deserve you.

If you let them make you feel less than even for a second, I’m going to kick your cute ass myself. Do you hear me?”

He flushes an adorable pink and I have to smother a grin when he nods. “Okay, my fierce little warrior. I will keep that in mind as we navigate the waves of my past.”

Felix practically purrs his praise after he drops a kiss on the top of my head. “Very nice, Princess. Strong and confident—that’s what you show them tonight. I know you like to use the guise of your mother when it gets tough, but maybe… add this Dolly into it, too?”

“Fuck yeah,” Fitz agrees from his perch. “Show them the badass bunny, not just the fake sociopath leopard. The bunny is hot as fuck, but she’s much smarter than that old bag.”

Lucille would slit his throat without blinking a false lash for that.

“I appreciate it, baby, but… make sure you don’t say anything like that in public, hmm? We don’t need it to get reported by her spies and draw my mother’s attention. We’re trying to stay under the radar, remember?” I wink at him, letting him know that I appreciate his sentiment, too.

~Our escorts have arrived. ~

I hear Aubrey in my head and Rennie nods at me to let me know he did as well. “We should go downstairs, guys. I think we’re being summoned to the royal grub hall or whatever.”

Felix nods, running his hand over his lengthening locks one more time before he strides out of the bathroom.

I give Chessie and Fitz a stern finger wag, warning them to hurry up, and follow in the tiger’s footsteps to descend the loft stairs.

When I get to the bottom, I see Ren sitting next to Aubrey on the stools, two glasses of dark liquid nearby.

“I thought it was time to go?” My brow furrows and the gargoyle gestures for me to come closer. Once I’m there, he hands me one of the glasses. “Alcohol is never the answer to less anger and violence, Rennie.”

“It’s a tradition for the parties going to a negotiation to drink this.

I remembered the bottle from my childhood, and now that we are reexamining everything from then, I wondered if there was something in it.

You know, since the adults always had drinks before they left to obtain contracts with other groups. ”

Oh, that’s pretty brilliant of him.

“I agreed that we should partake. He has not been wrong about the customs from his youth being intrinsically entwined with the gargoyles’ power.

” Aubrey picks up the glass, holding it up to the light and looking at it carefully.

“Do you have the test mixture the nurses gave you so we can check the liquor?”

I blink, the question making me realize I hadn’t tucked a vial away on my person for this dinner. “No! I mean, yes , I do. But I didn’t put any on me for tonight, which is a very rookie mistake. Thank you for reminding me, big guy.”

The dragon tilts his head as if waiting for something and I lean in to kiss his cheek. “That’s better, snack size. Now, scamper off and get that shit so we can make sure this isn’t poisoned before our hosts come barging in.”

“On it!” I reply as I give him a salute then scramble up the opposite stairs to the bedroom nest area.

One thing is for certain, tonight is going to change shit whether this stuff works or not—I can feel it deep in my gut.