Page 20

Get Up, Get Out, Get On

Renard

It is difficult to describe the myriad of emotions running through me since we embarked on the journey to the last homeland I had prior to exile.

Writing for permission to visit was hard, receiving a form letter in response was worse, and connecting the dots about why my clutch re-settled from Paris to these lands is worse.

Yes, we needed to get away from the teeming city full of humans we could not risk being seen by, but also, my gut is saying that the proximity to this land of vampire lore was part of it as well.

I was too young for any elders to confide in me when we moved, but as an adult, this connection is undeniable.

Perhaps my clutch was even contracted to monitor those lands by the Council; I was exiled as a teen, shortly before the Treaty.

My frown deepens as I consider all the possibilities innate in that line of thought.

It was a time of amazing technological advances for humans, which spread to shifters.

Whether those were edged along with the help of magicals or not, it gave the oldest elite families incredible opportunities to extend their wealth and heritage into the future—as long as no one was vying for dominance.

That might have been why inter-mingling became taboo, and eventually why the magicals and the vampires were shuffled through the Veil forever.

Get rid of the competition and the predators would rule indefinitely—the prey animals could never fight the combination of brute strength, instinct, and technology, even with larger numbers.

“ Merde ? 1 , ” I mutter as I lean my head back and look up at the fancy chandelier on our ceiling.

The twinkles hypnotize me for a moment, and I say nothing else until Felix clears his throat.

Coming back to reality, I sigh. “It is possible the migration of my gargoyle group from Paris to the Carpathians was contracted when I was young. The elders always said it was because the city was too populated and the risk of being seen was great. But that never rang true, and knowing about the concentration of vampiric sites in the area means that I am speculating about what our real purpose was. We moved a little over a decade before the Treaty, you see.”

“You think your clutch was hired to keep watch on the main nests and clans?” Felix asks as he scratches his jaw.

“That’s possible. I’d assume other mythicals across the globe were similarly contracted to keep tabs on magicals and such as well.

That might have been the first step in setting up the circumstances that lead to the Treaty. ”

Aubrey’s brow furrows as he thinks about it.

“That would fit. There was quite a bit of turmoil during that timeframe in both the human and the supernatural worlds. It would have been easy to hide a secret war against anyone they lumped in with the magic users and have it blamed on the humans fighting. When they proved their point, they could bring those folks to the table in defeat and offer them the choice of continued genocide or escaping to Faerie to live safely forever.”

“Brutal dictators and aggressors often make false promises to those they plan to subjugate,” Chess says as he gives me a knowing look.

“Their deals with mythicals likely included the ability to live in their own spaces and not be bothered by the Council or Society or whoever in trade for the information. They probably didn’t even know what it was for—it would be easy to pretend it had to do with something banal, like a census, if they concealed the killings under the guise of human bullshit. ”

I smile ruefully, shaking my head. “I have hope for that race, Chester, but it’s possible that any species of mythical would choose money and power over ethics and morals—just like the humans or other preds and prey.

We all have dark natures that we either feed or suppress depending on our core values; no creature is necessarily all evil or good.

As much as I do not want to admit it because of how I was raised…

it is possible the vampires were not in the wrong and my family was.

Another difficult poison to swallow and I hope I come through without scarring, I suppose. ”

Ma petite stands, coming over to sit on my lap this time.

“Rennie, if your people did bad things for good reasons, we will deal with it. If they did shitty things for shitty reasons, we’ll get through it.

Very few of us can claim to have come from shifters who are not the bad guys in this damn war they all started.

Chessie, perhaps, and Aubrey, maybe—but the rest of us?

We have actively fuckwad bio donors. Don’t let it imbalance your world; they don’t deserve to live rent-free in your head when they sent you packing from theirs. ”

Flames chuckles, reaching over to put his hand on mine.

“The nibblet is spot on, my mate. I’m not eager to reconnect with my clash for fear of finding out they bowed down to the whims of those psycho families once my grandmother retired to Asia.

It’s possible, and we won’t know for certain until we end up visiting.

But it is a concern, and I understand why you’re struggling. ”

“They sent me away, which I didn’t agree with, but it was a law and I broke it.

I’ve always rationalized it in that way,” I mutter as Dolly lays her head on my shoulder.

“I shouldn’t have, because while I wallowed in that and her death, I ignored the world spinning around me.

At least, until I came to Apex, and then I spent years trying to get the dragon to speak. ”

Felix laughs, his eyes dancing. “I know I shouldn’t find it amusing, but the story about sign language is so very ‘Aubrey’ to me. Your dedication to communicating was better than my desire to drink myself to death when I arrived.”

“Or mine to screw Chessie and everyone I could while I was high enough to leave the stratosphere, so I could forget my anger.” Fitz rolls his eyes when everyone, but the petite lapin stares at him.

“Oh, come on, dudes! You all had to know I was just numbing myself, right? I mean, sure, it helped with the hyperactivity at times, but it was because I was so angry that I couldn’t put my big bro on the throne where he belonged rather than run away like a coward. ”

“Fitzy, you know it wasn’t the time.” Chess snuggles closer to the younger tiger. “We didn’t have the power or the backing to take back your home. We will eventually, and we’ll stop all the terrible shit. Right, Felix?”

“Fuck yes. The way my father uses and abuses everyone on Bloodstone will be a thing of the past when I get rid of him. I promise, bro.” Felix’s expression hardens and I smile fondly. He really is a good man, especially now that he’s climbed out of the hole he was living in before our mate.

“Okay, well, this is very touching, but…” Dolly lifts her head with a small grin.

“We’re way ahead of ourselves again. We can’t shift to the Raj until we rewind all the way back to now, where we need to figure out what the fucking Fae and vamps or whoever have stolen from all those sites.

Obviously, they’re hiding it, so how do we find out? ”

“I can do some light online work tonight,” Fitz says with a yawn. “I won’t have the computing power to do my usual amazing feats of derring-do, though.”

I think for a moment, then hold up a finger.

“I can text the Captain. He and the crew should be in the area of the Fae sites—or within a travel-able distance—since they were going to visit that tribal leader over there. Perhaps they can also stop by the ones in their vicinity to rummage around until they find out what’s missing. ”

“That’s a good idea,” Dolly says as she smiles at me. “Very nice delegation.”

Aubrey snorts and shifts in his seat. “I suppose I can email museum colleagues to poke around rumors of thefts on the continent. That might yield something.”

“Oh!” Our mate grins as she pulls out her phone, swiping it open before her fingers fly over the screen like lightning.

“I’m texting Rufus, Cori, and that group to see if any of them can split off from Paris to investigate any other suspicious closures they can dig up along the route from the Emerald Coast to this area.

Our humans might not have known everything, because they only focus on themselves. ”

Felix snaps his fingers. “Excellent idea, Princess. That will give us an extended network to gather info while we get off the train, arm ourselves, and get the guides into the mountains.”

“The weapons part is my favorite,” Fitz says with a dreamy look. “I’d love to find things to kill on our way up; it’s been so long since I could unleash.”

Considering that for a moment, I’m surprised to find that the younger twin is not exaggerating.

He hasn’t been able to really let go at the past two schools because they didn’t have staff Pred Games.

The guy is probably so pent-up with rage, that he’s damn near ready to burst. “Fitzgerald, it occurs to me that no one has praised your precise control in not killing anyone since we were at Apex. You have had poor substitutes for your anger management, yet you remain fairly sane and sober. It is quite impressive.”

The other guys look at me in shock, and ma petite hugs me tightly.

She clearly noticed, and has been working to wrangle that instinct that was formed in both nature and nurture on Bloodstone.

All the hobbies and books and yoga have been part of helping him maintain without the poisons or doing something that would bring eyes on us.

She’s so fucking smart about this shit and I can’t believe we all missed it—even Chess.

“Thanks, Frenchie,” Fitz says with a proud grin.

“Baby Girl and I have been working on that since we first got to Cappie. They didn’t have the staff stuff and with the amount of work Z and I had to do for the teams?

It was a lot not to hop in the ring and beat the snot out of some rich morons.

But it worked until the damn Yule battle—which was rockin’ for getting it out of my system. ”

“Then came summer, and you guys were isolated in an empty campus, so it kept you from doing much besides waiting,” Dolly says. “They moved us to a better school for me—major-wise, at least—but it also had an even worse program and zero staff that would help Fitzy deal with his shit.”

Chess ponders for a moment, then chuckles. “Sex can’t be the answer all the time, or no one would be able to walk.”

“Right-o, baby,” Fitz says as he taps the cheetah’s nose.

“So again, more distractions so I could tamp my bullshit down. I mean, Felix has always been expected to be the smooth diplomat and powerful leader. He was always taught to control shit, whereas I… was meant to be the hammer of Khan, so to speak. Always ready to protect and destroy, you know? It’s fine ‘cause I love that shit, but not being able to get it out of my system has been a bitch .”

Inhaling deeply, I look at my family. We are far from perfect, nor are we shining examples to be held up for others to emulate.

However, we are survivors—each of our own traumas—and we are trying our damndest to put our shit on hold until we help stop the war that could tear our world apart.

It’s honorable, even if our initial motivation was to keep everyone from harming the girl we all love.

I suppose a band of somewhat good people who are doing the best they can in a world full of pain and hate is all one can ask for in the end.