Page 56

56

JAMIE

“C ,” I say slowly. “I learned things I needed to learn during Crue training, and that was always with the intention of using those skills both to carry out my revenge and to do whatever operations you put in front of me. I’m not looking to get out of C Crue early. I’m committed to being an investment that pays dividends.”

“We’ve got no Ireland-based operations. And that’s always been the goal, right? To go back?”

“Not if it means cutting all ties here and leaving things hanging.” I splay my fingers on the table. “I’m in a position to help with the on-campus operation. I want to see it through. And to do any other work you think I’m suited to. I’m ready.”

“There’s no half in,” C says. “I never should’ve agreed to let you do a one-year contract. This isn’t a tour in the fucking military. It’s a life sentence. And the guys you’re working with need to know you’ve got their backs, not some hidden agenda that’s more important than their lives. In their place, I would want you gone.”

“Listen, I was fully focused during operations. My personal mission of destroying Jude’s attacker never interfered with my work for the Crue.” Blowing out a breath, I feel things slipping away, and the idea rips me open.

The Crue training and operations were so intense that a part of me feels as much a member of C Crue as a citizen of Ireland. Also, I’ve never not paid a debt before. The thought of walking away… of losing the family I’ve bonded with in the States. Not to mention losing Sawyer. If I’m gone, she’s alone in the world, and I’ve got no way to protect her. That cannot happen.

Tapping my thumb against the table, I lean forward. “Given the choice between leaving or staying, there’s no contest. Here.”

“Is that right.” His mouth forms a hard line. “You ready to be all in? Even if it means living where we tell you to live, indefinitely?”

My body’s so full of adrenaline the new spike doesn’t even register. “I am, yeah.”

C’s hard stare bores into me. “Step out of line even once, and I will put you in the fucking ground myself, blood or not.”

“Understood.”

“All right. Pour yourself a drink and knock it back. We’re celebrating.”

It doesn’t exactly feel like a celebration, but I’ll have the drink as ordered.

C rises and pours himself another drink, too. Standing next to the bar, he cocks his head, assessing me. “Refusing to name War as an accomplice on the first murder was a gamble. Might have gotten you killed.”

Setting the glass down, I shrug. “There are worse things than dying.”

“Truer words were never spoken.”

* * *

SAWYER

The motel room’s eerie quiet unsettles me. I pace to fill the silence, if only with the sound of my breath and my feet shuffling against the cheap carpet. I’d trade almost anything to be back in the playroom with Ash and the rambunctious kids and for Jamie to be there with us.

Every time Jamie enters my head, I tense. He’s been so protective of me the past week, making sure I’m never alone and soothing my worries about Connecticut, that I’ve grown used to always being near him or knowing exactly when I will be again.

The sudden detachment feels grim, especially at night, which is when I normally feel the closest to him. In bed, there’s the heart-pounding intimacy of sex when we’re literally fused into one body. But there’s also the conversations we have in low voices before we fall asleep. Sometimes, he’s more talkative than I am. When he describes Ireland in his stories, I can practically feel the misty rain on my skin. I’ve never longed for a place I’ve never been before, but I’m desperate to experience Ireland with Jamie. To walk over ancient rocks at the edge of the world as he calls it.

I stop, sighing, and hug my arms around my chest.

Please be okay.

Drawing in a shaky breath, I bite down on my lower lip and blink my eyes, which keep threatening to tear up. I won’t let myself cry. That would be ridiculous when I’m not even sure anything is wrong.

But the nagging fear returns like swarming bees from a hive I’ve accidentally overturned. Jamie wouldn’t have had War move me to a secret location unless he wasn’t able to do it himself. Which raises so many horrible questions.

Every few minutes, I pick up my phone, tempted to turn it on so I can text him. If he didn’t answer, I could text Ash that I’m worried about him and for her to come and get me so we can start the process of tracking him down. Ash could ask her brother where Jamie is and if he’s all right. Scott should easily be able to find out Jamie’s status.

Thinking about Scott, I have mixed feelings. In person, I like him so much. I could see Jamie and I visiting Scott and Laurel’s house as often as we’re invited over. But I’m frustrated Scott isn’t more careful about Jamie’s safety. Why would he send him to see one of his partners who would then send Jamie out to work when we’re in town for a party? If it’s an entire organization, they must have other people who could work tonight.

The television drones on with a cooking show. I’m not paying attention, but I’ve got it on so I can check the time, which feels as though it’s moving at a glacial pace. Forty minutes feels more like forty years.

War said an hour. I’m not giving him a minute more.

The speed of my pacing increases until the exertion coupled with my anxiety makes my heart pound.

Around the edges of the patterned pull curtain, light flashes. A new car’s arrived. Pulling the corner of the curtain back, I peek out. My heart leaps when I spot Ash’s Camaro pulling into a spot right in front of the room.

I rush over to the door, my fingers fumbling to flip the security bar back and yank it open.

Jamie emerges from the car, looking none the worse for wear, thank God.

When he reaches the doorway, grudging relief explodes from inside me. “Jesus Christ.” My tone is harsh, and my brows pinch together as I glare at him. “You scared me to death. Why would you have War bring me here?”

As he enters, I’m forced to step back. Without a word, he catches my face in his hands and kisses me. He tastes of liquor and sweet soda. Apparently, his work assignment wasn’t as bad as I was imagining.

I kiss him for a second, then shove at his chest until he releases me. “I need an explanation, James.”

“James, is it?” Amusement colors his features for a moment. “There’s a sure sign we’re getting serious.” He winks and turns to flip the security latch. When he faces me again, the lightness in his expression is gone. “I ran into a bit of trouble.”

My brows furrow, and my voice lowers. “What kind exactly?”

“Not the Connecticut kind,” he says softly. “But I thought it might go that way.”

Balling my fists as though I could punch his bosses in the throat, I say, “For you or someone else?”

“Me.”

That causes my stomach to drop like I’m falling. “But everything’s okay now?”

“It is, yeah.”

“Did War bring me here for them as leverage to force you to do something? Or was he really doing you a favor?”

“Favor.”

“Well, he fucking sucks at being a bodyguard because I thought he was kidnapping me.” Rubbing Jamie’s arms, I exhale a shaky breath. “I was so worried about you. I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Thanks.” He pulls me into a tight hug and kisses the top of my head. “Sorry I worried you.”

“Seriously though, you need to give me a heads-up the next time War’s going to be my designated getaway driver. When I was hesitant to leave town with him, he locked me in the back of the SUV with the rest of the cargo. If there had been a trunk, I’m positive he’d have put me in it.”

“Jayzus.” Jamie shakes his head with a grimace, his thumb stroking my jaw to soothe my nerves. “For a barbarian, he’s a surprisingly good mate. But a light touch he is not.”

I exhale a small amused sound that’s more born out of relief than real amusement. “Why did I need to leave your cousin’s house?”

“That was just a precaution in case anyone was overzealous.”

Holding his sides, I stare up at his eyes, trying to fill in the holes he’s not. “I don’t understand. I need you to explain what happened tonight.”

“I’d like to, sure. Maybe one day, but not right now. Here’s the thing you need to know. I work for some dangerous people. They’re not all bad, but I can’t walk away.”

My heart thumps harder in my chest, and I feel the uneasiness rising again.

“And through no fault of your own, you’re in this with me, Sauce. Do you want me to try to get you out? Well and truly? It would mean moving and hiding.” He sucks on his lower lip as he stares at me as though he’d like to hear my deepest thoughts.

“What? When you say moving away and hiding, do you mean me alone?”

With a grim expression, he nods.

“You swore I wouldn’t be alone.” I slam my palm against his ribs. “You fucking promised.”

“I know, and I meant it. Still do.” When I start to hit him again, he grabs my wrists and shoves them behind my back, stepping forward so our bodies touch and my hands are pinned behind me. “If you plan to stay with me for good, you’ll never be alone again. But for the next few years, we’ll be here in the States. Not living some happy fairy tale in Ireland that I was peddling outside the Hearth and Stone. Before Connecticut, I owed less than a year to this work. Could’ve gone home next fall term if I wanted. That’s not the case anymore. So now, this is the life you’d be signing on for. Where I might go out in the middle of the night without warning to do dangerous work.”

“And you expect me to do what? Roll with being shoved into car trunks? Visit you in jail?”

“Maybe. Yeah. Being with me from here on, it’s not for the feint of heart. It means staying, come hell or high water.” His expression is gravely serious now. “I love you, and I don’t want to let you go. But the bright future you’ve been working toward might be leveled. Collateral damage.”

Tears burn in my eyes. This is the choice. Him. Or trying to follow in Celine’s footsteps—the Allendales and politics and a marriage to someone like the guys I dated in school. Bland. Boring. Blue-blooded, yet bloodless.

Swallowing, I shake my head. “Is that why you took me to your cousin’s? To tempt me with the huge, gorgeous house and adorable children?”

“To show you, yeah. That there are good parts.”

“I’d still want to go to law school. Maybe I won’t end up in politics, but?—”

“You’ll go to law school for sure. I’ll see to that. And you might become a politician, too. I’m just saying there’s a bigger risk that people won’t accept you. Or vote you in if you’ve got a dark albatross around your neck.”

“Welcome to my whole life.” Grinding my teeth, I try to tug my wrists free.

Jamie holds them tighter, unwilling to let me go. Which is as reassuring as it is unnerving.

“Your family will accept me, though, right?” I fire the question at him as though it’s an accusation that they’re about to betray me. “Because I wouldn’t be the darkest dark sheep now.” My tone is defiant.

“By comparison, you’re Snow White, Sauce. And of course, they accept you. That part’s done.”

“You know…” My pulse slows to a jagged thump in the back of my throat. “Today was the best family day I’ve ever had. The entire time I felt like I could be myself and enjoy myself. Other than being kidnapped and dragged to a shady motel, it was pretty much perfect.”

A startled chuckle escapes from low in his chest. “Right, okay. I’ll keep the abductions to a minimum.” He tips his head down, so our faces are closer. “I’ll take a kiss if you’re ready to give one up.”

“You don’t deserve it.”

“Aye, I know. But you may as well get used to that.” His lips brush mine. “Come on.”

Rising onto my toes, I kiss him.

Our tongues tangle together, and he pulls my body flush with his until I’m breathless.

“Well, that’s a silver lining.” Licking his lips, he nods, his blue eyes trapping mine. “To hell with regrets when there’s this.” He releases my wrists, rubbing my back for a second before he steps back. “Ready to leave this shite place, Cranberry Sauce? Because I want to take you to bed, but not this one.”

“I’ve been ready.” A relieved smile emerges as I gather my purse and phone. “That’s another beef I’ve got with War. He couldn’t spring for better than this? If he’d gone for just one more star, it would’ve doubled the rating.”

Jamie laughs and shakes his head as we go outside. “Don’t doubt War’s decision-making. He chose here because he could pay cash, and the guy at the desk wouldn’t ask questions when War gave a fake name for the register.”

“Hmm.”

“Not convinced, huh?” Jamie opens the passenger door of the Camaro.

I slide inside. “Not unconvinced. Just still annoyed about being toted about like baggage.”

“Right. Understood.”

With the radio and the heat blasting, he drives back to Coynston. When we arrive in town, however, he doesn’t take the same route to his cousin Scott’s that Ash did. Instead, Jamie drives to the top of a hill and pulls onto the shoulder. The pretty town glitters below, including the town square with its ferris wheel.

“Zip up your coat, Sauce. I want to get out for a minute.”

“Always outside in the freezing cold.” My voice is mock annoyed. “What is with you?”

“I like fresh air. And I want to show you the view.”

The view? At nearly midnight on a winter night? He’s lost his mind.

After I climb out, he uses his phone as a flashlight to guide me down several stone steps to a gazebo that’s on a hillside platform. During the day, I’m sure it’s lovely, but this…

Once we step through the arch, motion-activated lights threaded through the woodwork flick on. It’s magical.

Looking around, my reluctance fades. Jamie turns me by the shoulders, so I’m facing him, with the town and hill still in the periphery.

He tucks his phone away and steps back. “Sawyer, I’ve got a question for you.” When he lowers himself to one knee, my breath catches.

There is no way.

Jamie pulls out a white box. “Will you stay with me come hell or high water?”

My heart hammers against my ribs as he opens the box. A huge oval diamond glitters like the twinkling lights.

“Will you marry me, Sauce?”

My racing thoughts crash into each other. This can’t be happening.

Too soon. Too reckless.

Completely insane.