Page 22

22

SAWYER

“H ey,” Jamie murmurs against my hair. “Are you awake?”

I’m lying on my side, facing away but with my back pressed against his warm chest. His arms are wrapped tightly around me. This closeness is about more than sex, and I’ve just slept the deepest sleep of my entire life because of it.

“Kind of awake,” I murmur against his arm.

“Turn this way.” His low voice is sleep-roughened, which only makes it sexier.

I shift under the covers, untwisting myself enough so I can roll over. As promised, I’m sore between my legs and elsewhere, which sends a shiver of awareness through me as I move.

When I’m facing him, Jamie’s eyes hold mine.

“Beautiful girl… How are you this morning?”

I nod with a small smirk. “I’m all the things.”

“You are that. And more.” His hand rests on the blanket above my shoulder.

I go one better and reach out to touch his bare chest.

“That was proper intense for a beginner. Wanna talk about anything?”

“I guess I want to know…” Licking my lips, I shrug. “When we can do it again?”

That draws a deep laugh from his chest. “Seriously? Do you not care at all that I’m an athlete in training? How do you expect me to make it to practice when I’m dead exhausted?”

I shrug with a small smile. “You had it right the first time. I don’t care.”

“Right, okay. I’m Sampson, and you’re Delilah with your wee clippers, is it?”

That makes me laugh. “I guess? Isn’t that a bible story? We’re not religious, so I don’t know them.”

“Sacrilege,” he says with mock disapproval. Then he strokes my hair in the sweetest way. “Despite your vicious tendencies and casual disregard for my athletic performance, I’ve got something for you.”

After rising from the bed, he stalks out, muscled ass flexing magnificently. I wonder vaguely whether I actually could cause him to lose ground with his training. Then, I decide I wasn’t kidding. I truly don’t care.

Having these experiences is too important to me. I love when my mind blurs as he pushes me to the edge. I had no idea sex could feel this way. It’s like being on fire and then plunging into cold water. Out of control and stunning. It takes my breath away in the best way.

I also love how soundly I sleep when I’m so spent I can barely move. It’s amazing.

Jamie reappears with a white box. Before setting it down, he lifts the lid, revealing purple tissue paper secured with a gold foil logo sticker.

I sit up. “What’s this?” Then I recognize the logo. It’s from the vintage clothing store. Carefully pealing the sticker up, I open the folded tissue paper. Lying in the box is the black Chanel dress. My audible gasp is followed by a sharp intake of breath.

When I glance up to meet his eyes, he’s smiling.

“It’s too much,” I whisper. “You already got me the other dress.”

He shrugs. “When you mentioned this one, I could tell you really wanted it.”

Pushing the box aside, I knee-walk to the edge of the bed and throw my arms out. My eyes are stinging with grateful tears, and I should feel ridiculous, but I don’t.

When I kiss and hug him, he leans into it.

“Best. Present. Ever. Thank you , Jamie.”

“It’s nothing,” he murmurs, almost as if he’s uncomfortable with this degree of gratitude.

I decide that’s another thing I don’t care about. For once, I’m going to show the emotions I’ve been trained to bury.

Kissing the side of his face again, I squeeze his arm. “It means a lot.”

“Right, then. I’ll expect blow jobs daily for a week, will I?”

I chuckle. “If you want.” After climbing off the bed, I take the box and hang the dress in the closet. By the time I’m done admiring it, Jamie’s lying on his back on the bed.

As I approach, he puts an arm behind his head. “Did you always suspect you’d like the sort of games we’re playing, Sauce?”

“No. I didn’t know anything about this.” I lie down next to him.

“Usually people fantasize about things long before they experience them.”

My fingers caress his chest muscles. “If I had dreams about wicked sex, I don’t remember. Feels like I would. Pretty memorable.” Moving my hand down to trace his ab muscles, I shrug. “When I was young I fantasized about being a mutant girl from comic books, so I could empty the bank account of anyone I wanted. And kick their asses in a fight. I wanted to beat the hell out of Brad until he begged for mercy. Could be why I have such a girl crush on Ash. She snatched that phone right out of Brad’s hand, foiling his plans. I always wanted to be fast enough to keep him from taking my toys. Or to sidestep a punch so he’d break his fist on the wall.”

“A punch?” Jamie echoes. “He hit you, Sauce?”

“Sometimes.”

“Actually fucking hit you?” His scowl darkens. “When you were wee kids, you mean?”

“I think I was about fourteen the last time.”

A stillness comes over him. The hardness in his expression takes on a dangerous edge, narrowing his eyes to slits and crinkling the skin around them. “When you were fourteen, he’d have been sixteen or seventeen? A grown man, physically.” His expression shifts, becoming more shuttered. “And no one stopped him?”

“Nope.” I lick my lips and chew on the lower one for a moment. “But I got good at ignoring him. Not breaking down is how I win.”

“That’s not winning, Sawyer.”

“In a way, it was. You don’t understand because you’ve never been in that kind of situation.”

“Hmm.” Jamie blows out a breath. “You should probably talk with a professional about what you’ve been through. And your brother needs a proper reckoning.”

“No way,” I scoff. “I’ve kept it a secret for a reason.” My brows pinch together. “No one can know I told you, Jamie. I’ll deny it.”

“Relax,” Jamie says in a calming tone, a distant expression developing on his features. “I wouldn’t betray your trust, Sauce. Not ever.”

The tension eases. “Anyway, it wasn’t like I was really injured. He did it to prove he could. That he could get away with hurting me.”

“Is that what went through your head last night during?—?”

“Gross. No,” I say emphatically. “The way you do things to me… it’s exciting. I know your intention is to turn me on. I can tell, and I like that.” I run my hand over his skin. “I might not enjoy it as much if I wasn’t so attracted to you. It’s hard to separate the two things. I like getting to share scary, secret sex with the person everyone else wants.” A small smirk emerges. “Fuck Clare Duffy, that little traitor.”

A hint of a smile finally appears on Jamie’s face. “All right.”

I chuckle softly. “It’s something Ash says.”

“Ah. Our Ashling and her colorful expressions.” Jamie’s hand smooths my hair back. “I’m glad last night was good for you. If it’s ever not, you have to tell me. This kind of relationship relies on communication to keep it from becoming abuse.”

I nod. “That’s not a problem—the communication part, I mean. I can talk to you.”

“I hope so because last night you didn’t say much.”

“Well.” I smirk. “Last night, I was pretending you’d have to kill me to break me.”

“Jayzus. Don’t even joke.” He kisses me, tangling his fingers in my hair. “If that happened, it would be the end of us both. That much I can promise.”

“Are you saying that if I died, it would kill you?”

“I’m saying if I was ever so out of control that I accidentally killed you during a scene, that yes, I would need to be put down like a rabid dog. And I would make sure it happened, one way or the other.”

My brows rise at the seriousness in his tone. “Sounds like—have you actually thought about it?”

“I have, yeah. When I started having certain fantasies, I wasn’t sure what that said about me. I decided if I started to get off on hurting innocent girls, ones who hadn’t consented, or if I went too far, I would deal with myself accordingly. Then, over time, I realized these games are never one-sided for me. I like for the girl to want to play. I want her to want more of the same.”

“The way I do?”

“Exactly that.”

That causes me to smile. “So, we’re a good match.”

“More than good. In bed, I’d say we’re a perfect match.”

The smile that blossoms is one I can’t suppress. “Does that mean I get to stay for breakfast? I’ll cook.”

“No way are you cooking. I’ll make you breakfast and serve it to you in bed.” He gives me a kiss before rising.

Stretching contentedly, I say, “I thought I was the slave?”

“You are.” Jamie pulls on a pair of jeans. “But a master always has to feed and water his little pet so she stays strong enough to be useful.” With a wink, he’s out the door.

I continue to smile. I’ve never had breakfast in bed in my life. And while I know that having Jamie in bed is better than having breakfast here, I’m about to have both.

I may not have been born rich, but it feels like I’m living my best life now.