Page 163 of Pretty Mess

“You’re clever and quick-witted but never cruel. You’re fiercely loyal, and you always look on the positive side of every aspect of life, which quite frankly is going to get you hurt one day.”

“Duly noted,” I say solemnly.

“I want to look after you when that happens.” He stares into my eyes. “There’s more. You’re unfailingly generous, and youmight not have money, but you give something more precious—your time and your big heart.” He pauses. “And you look at me as if I’m worth something more than my money,” he finishes softly.

“That’s because youare,” I say thickly.

“I’m not sure about that, but I can tell you that you mean everything to me.” He hesitates. “What do you think? Is that love? I’ve never been in love before, so I don’t know, and I need to get this right for you. I want to make you happy and never sad.”

I swallow hard. “That’s a tough task, sweetheart, and one that’s probably not in your power to achieve, but I think that’s as close to love as I’ve ever come. But we’re so different. We come from different worlds, and you have so much more than I can ever bring to a relationship.”

“That’s just material shit. Weareequals, Wes. I may have more money than you, but you make me happy, and that is something no one else will ever be able to do. I bring money and possessions to the table, but you bringsomuch more.”

“Like what?”

“Light and happiness and this funny warmth I feel whenever I’m near you. When I’m away from you, I’m lonely, but when I’m with you, you chase all the old shadows away. You’re my light, and you make the darkness in me disappear.”

I stare at him, my throat full of tears and my eyes hot.

“What about you?” he says diffidently.

“Oh, I love you,” I say with absolute certainty.

His eyes flare, and he drags me to him, kissing me hard so that my head swims and I cling to him. Everything he feels but can’t put a name to is in that embrace—all the love, caring, loyalty, and steadfastness.

Finally, he pulls away but keeps me in his arms. “I want to date, but you need to teach me how,” he says earnestly, and I’m almost surprised he hasn’t got a pad and pen to take notes.

“I can do that, but I don’t know much more than you. How about we learn together?”

“I like that idea.” He pushes my hair back, his fingers gentle, his expression almost reverent. “So, it’s hello and not goodbye?”

My life seems poised between past me and future me on this small beach in the morning light, with the taste of salt on my lips and the wind in my hair. I look at his pale, ascetic face, the breeze lifting the ink-dark strands of his hair, and his blue eyes glowing, and I make my decision.

“It’s hello,” I say, moving into his arms again and feeling them band tight around me—so tight that I lose a little of my breath and the rest of my heart. “It willalwaysbe hello.”

epilogue

Two Years Later

I send off the last email and then click out of my laptop with a sense of jubilation. It’s Friday. Two whole days of doing nothing sounds like bliss. Unfortunately, it won’t be with my sarcastic other half. I look at Mac’s photo on my desk. His image laughs back at me. I’d caught him mid caustic comment during a day on the river a few months ago, and he looks rumpled and so sexy.

“Are you asleep with your eyes open?”

I turn and see Julian leaning against the entrance to my cubicle. He’s dressed as pristinely as ever in a dark grey suit that makes his blond hair shine. He looks like an angel. I look at his expression and amend it to snarky angel.

I grin up at him. “Evening.”

“Ah, it was just your usual expression, then.”

“Sucha bitch,” I say admiringly, and he laughs.

“Maybe, but I’m a bitch who came over to ask if you fancy a lift home?”

“Isn’t it out of your way?”

“No, I’m going out that way.”

“You are anangel,” I say fervently. “We only just got back from paintballing, so I was contemplating getting a coffee and sinking into a coma until rush hour was over.”