Page 96 of Pregnant in Pennsylvania

I laugh and frown at the same time. “I can’t picture that.”

He chuckles. “I just described my uncle Stu. I idolized that guy growing up. Dad was always busy running the farm, so I spent all my time with Uncle Stu. Who, looking back, wasn’t the best influence.” He wiggles his phone. “I’m going to call your parents. I think you need some time alone to rest. I’m sure Aiden will be fine there overnight.”

I can only nod.

But a word keeps tolling in my head:alone…alone…alone.

It takes all I have to keep the horror at bay. I absolutely cannot be alone right now, but I don’t know how to say that. I can’t bear to face Mom or Dad, or even Cora. Not now. Not yet.

I hear Jamie talking: “…Shaken up, needs to rest…check on her…”

I’m spacing out—my head is buzzing, heart palpitating; it’s hard to breathe, my ears hum, my hands shake and my fingertips tingle. I feel the truck moving again but I’m not sure where we’re going. Things are blurry, and I’m not sure if I’m dizzy or if there’s fog in the air.

We stop.

A door thunks.

“Elyse?”

I twist and see Jamie; he’s concerned, worried—I can see that much even through the haze. “Hmmm?”

“Let’s go in.”

I blink, look past him. We’re at my house. Lights off—everything’s dark and lonely.

He unbuckles me and helps me out. I follow him across the driveway to the side door by the garage; still operating on blind instinct, I unlock it, and let Jamie go in first. He flicks on lights as he heads into the kitchen. I stop in the middle of the kitchen, staring without seeing.

“Elyse?” His warm voice is close.

“Hmmm?” I don’t see him. I feel faint.

“Do you want some tea?”

“Sure.”

I hear him rummaging around the kitchen. He finds my electric kettle, fills it, turns it on. I’m still standing in the middle of the kitchen, purse on my shoulder. I feel…blank. Not numb, not panicked, just…strangely, eerily blank.

He puts his hand on my shoulder, and I flinch at the unexpected contact. His eyes are deep and brown and worried. “Do you want to change?”

“Change?”

He waits for me to respond further, but that’s all I’ve got. “Yeah, change. pj’s? Something more comfortable?”

I glance down at my nice jeans, form-fitting top, and my best sweater duster. “I was supposed to take Aiden on a date. We were going to dinner and to see the new superhero movie.”

“You can reschedule. He’ll understand.”

“He didn’t know. It was going to be a surprise.”

“Then he won’t miss what he wasn’t expecting. For right now, you just need to relax.”

“Relax.” The word comes out dripping with sarcasm.

I still can’t move. My legs and arms won’t cooperate. I don’t even know what to do, how to be me. Right now, I’m just a hole in the world shaped like Elyse.

Jamie sighs. “Come on.”

He tugs me by the hand toward my room. I’m too blank to even care that it’s a disaster—dirty clothes hanging out of the hamper, bras hanging four deep off the closet doorknob, clean clothes in another basket, rifled through. Makeup and beauty products cluttering the bathroom sink, curler plugged in but off, a towel rumpled on the towel rack.