Page 70 of Pregnant in Pennsylvania

“You know, I think we all had a nice time last night, even though you got injured. Coach Trent and I do like one another. How do you feel about that?”

“I dunno. Okay, I guess. He’s pretty cool but…” Aiden stops to think.

I give him a minute before asking, “But what? Is there something bothering you?”

“You like Coach Trent?” he asks, his eyes sharp and inquisitive.

I sigh. “Yeah, I like him. He’s a really great guy.”

“Do you like him more than Dad?”

“Aiden, that’s not…it’s not like that. I can’t say more than or less than…because it’s just…different. I loved your dad.”

“But not anymore.”

“He’s gone, Aiden. He left, and it’s hard to love someone who…”

“Who goes away and doesn’t come back?”

I swallow hard. “Yeah, exactly.”

“Is…” Aiden’s eyes fill. “Is Coach Trent going away too?”

See? This isexactlywhy I can’t let anything happen with Jamie—one kiss, and Aiden is all mixed up.

“No, baby. He’s your coach, and he’s your principal. He’s not going away.”

I sigh, hang my head. “It’s really complicated and hard to explain, Aiden.”

“You say that when you just don’twantto explain something to me. I could understand.”

His eyes are on me, inquisitive, a little confused but thoughtful. “If you…if you and Coach Trent like each other, and you kiss each other, does that mean he’ll be my stepdad?”

I try to follow his leaps of logic. “Ummm…no.” I breathe deeply, let it out. “I mean I guess that’s a possibility—meaning…it happens sometimes, to people. A couple gets divorced for whatever reason, and then they meet new people and get married. But I don’t…I don’t know if that’s going to happen for Mr. Trent and me.”

“Why not?”

“Would you want it to?” I counter.

He shrugs. “I don’t know. I saw you guys kissing and I was confused and little scared. But Dad left a long time ago and he’s never coming back. Right?”

I nod. “Right. But—”

“And sometimes I feel like maybe you’re lonely. You have me and Grandma and Papa, and Aunt Cora, but sometimes I feel like you’re lonely. I thought maybe it was because you miss Dad, but you don’t, do you?”

I have to think hard about how to answer that. “I…god, Aiden, you’re full of tricky questions this morning aren’t you?”

“Let me say this. I loved your father. And the reasons we got divorced are adult stuff, things that I’m not ready to explain to you right now. But what Icansay is that your father and I divorced for reasons between the two of us. It wasneveranything you did or didn’t do. It wasn’t your fault in any way whatsoever.”

“Mom, I just meant—”

“Hold on—just listen, okay?” I touch his lips, and he goes quiet. “So…I miss us being a family. And I miss the way I used to love your father. But that changed, like it does sometimes, but yes, I do miss family life. Do I miss your father, the man, right now? No, not at all. He changed, and I guess we kind of stopped loving each other.”

He frowns at that, his eyes seeking mine. “You stopped loving him too?”

“Once things were over, yeah. He left, Aiden. I had to let go. I had to move on. So yes, I stopped loving him.”

“But you didn’twantto stop loving him, right?”