Page 9

The PCR machine whirs in the background as the final samples complete their rotation. I stare at the stack of files in front of me, occasionally willing my eyes to focus on the data, but my mind is hopelessly elsewhere.

His strong hands gripping my thighs…the water cascading over his muscles this morning as he pinned me to the shower wall…

Jesus. My cheeks burn, and I jump as the file I’m holding slides out of my hands and flutters to the floor. I’m so embarrassed, even though I look around the room and see I’m alone.

How do people get anything done with all this…in their heads, I lament as I force myself to read through the latest Nicholson data, trying again to make sense of what I’m seeing and trying not to think about Rowan and the things he’s been doing to me every chance we get for the last week.

Any lingering thought that he was just teasing me has long since vanished—his emotions are still unreadable, but physically, I’m in no doubt about what he wants. Ever since he took my virginity that night, our lovemaking has been insatiable. I thought the dreams would stop, and to a degree, they have, because I’m with him every night, but now he comes to me during the day.

He says it’s the bond. I don’t want to be naive, and of course, I know about the bond between shifters, but I didn’t realize it could be so vivid. So real.

I’m not sure where this leaves us in terms of the future, though, he talks about the bond, but he hasn’t declared his feelings for me. He hasn’t said we’re true mates, but that is what comes with the bond; this doesn’t feel like anything my friends have described. It feels so much more.

He promised not to do it when I’m working in the lab, but it appears my imagination can cause enough problems on its own. I’m clearly just as insatiable as he is. I blush even more thinking about Rowan and his wicked tongue…

“You have a minute?” A voice from the door has me spinning around in my chair, hoping my thoughts are not displayed on my face.

I look at Rian and cringe, praying I’m not as bright red as I fear. “Um, yes, of course,” I say, lifting a stack of printouts from the PCR machine off the spare chair.

Rian sits down, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look so awkward; he’s normally full of confidence—too confident. “I just wondered if you’ve had a chance to go over the pack data yet? Anything interesting?”

“I have,” I say hesitantly. “I don’t know if interesting is the right word. Different, certainly”

He pales slightly, and I instantly regret my choice of words. “I don’t mean bad differently,” I ramble. “Good, perhaps. I’m seeing markers that could mean enhanced healing and even strength. I’m just trying to determine what some of the others mean.”

“Mmm,” he sighs thoughtfully. “Do the ancient texts give you any clues?”

I nod and gesture to my notebook, “I’ve been making some notes, and my colleague Forrest has been doing some research in our old library. Do you have any thoughts, Rian?”

I don’t miss how shifty he looks, but it’s quickly replaced by one of his easy-going smiles. “I don’t see why our pack would be any different, but I guess with some of our elders coming from the Old World so long ago, there’s bound to be differences. Nothing major, though, right?”

“No, of course not,” I reply easily, not entirely sure of his intentions. Shifting the subject slightly, I ask, “Have the four Volva women been notified?”

“Yes, of course. They’re meeting with Sara later today,” he confirms. “Being without a wolf, we suspected two of them, but the others were a surprise.”

“Historically, being without a wolf has not been easy,” I tell him. “Hopefully, that’s changing because of our research and the ability to understand how important the Volva are for the future of our packs.”

Seeming satisfied, Rian says goodbye and goes back across the hall toward his workstation. I watch him walk away and release a breath. He’s been nothing but helpful, but I can’t shake the feeling he’s monitoring me—watching me. Which is strange, because we’re on the same side, looking for the same answers. Aren’t we? The data did arrive, but only after a delay, and I had to chase it. Looking at the timestamp, it was printed hours before I received it. I know I’m not being paranoid, but I can’t help but think it had already been looked over. But why? I’ve already made a mental note to get ahead of the next set of data printouts rather than waiting for a technician to bring them to me.

Standing, I shut my office door. It’s made from reinforced materials that block shifter hearing to a degree so that any in-person studies can be afforded some privacy. I find my phone on the desk buried under the paperwork and see the two missed calls from Kaiden earlier, hitting the call button.

I haven’t been avoiding him, per se, but I am a bit conflicted about who my alpha is now. My shifter instincts are one hundred percent on board with being Rowan’s luna, but then, my hormones have been going crazy ever since I got here. Perhaps even before, where he’s concerned. But this was only supposed to be a sham mating, a formality so the pack would accept my presence. What happens when my research is completed? Does Kaiden become my alpha again? What is this thing with Rowan? It feels so powerful, but deep down, I know he’s keeping secrets. My allegiance still feels torn. After everything that happened to my parents and the hunters, the one thing I crave is safety, and I just don’t know if I’m safe with Rowen. Especially where my heart is concerned.

The phone rings and then connects. “Thanks for calling me back, Willow. Busy?” Kaiden asks.

“Yes, very busy, actually,” I reply. Busy thinking about Rowan, more like.

“Are you able to share an update?” Kaiden asks carefully. “I’m meeting with Rowan later this week, but I’d like your take on things, too.”

I start by explaining the results of the interpack DNA sequencing, trying to explain as simply as I can. I update him on the number of new Volva cases and explain how the database of new abilities is being built. It’s slow work, as we don’t always know what we’re looking for, but, most importantly perhaps, the fertility markers in all the Volva cases are high. “We’re also seeing impressive supernatural abilities across the Volva community, stretching back several generations on the maternal side.”

“Kit met with the other lunas yesterday, and they are compiling more information from pack texts for you. I’ll have her send it over when they’ve finished,” Kaiden says.

“Yes, she mentioned they’ve made some progress.” I pause before adding, “The Nicholson pack data is interesting. There are differences, more than I would expect. It's not the entire pack, but there are some. You’ve spent time with Rowan, have you noticed anything?”

Kaiden is quiet for a moment. “You’ll have to be more specific, Willow.”

I take a deep breath, suddenly feeling as though I don’t want to verbalize the full extent of what I’m thinking. “The DNA markers are off the charts in some areas, and there are things I don’t recognize at all.”

“I have fought side by side with Rowan, and his wolf is strong. He’s fearless and an excellent alpha,” Kaiden says firmly. “He also has an uncanny way of seeing things differently, wiser than I think he lets on, and I’m almost certain he’d be one of the deadliest fighters. But I’ve seen nothing that concerns me. Yet.”

I may be torn on who my alpha is these days, but Kaiden’s endorsement soothes my nerves over the Nicholson data. “You’re right. There are always anomalies in data. They're open about having origins in the Old World; I just need to focus my research there to get to the bottom of it. It might be useful, actually.”

“Do you want me to tell Kit to look into it?” Kaiden asks.

I shake my head. “No, I’m going to call her later, anyway,” I tell him.

“But everything is okay with you? Rowan treating you well?” he asks, the concern in his voice genuine.

I feel warmth spread through me as I consider the texts from Kit, the other women I have allowed to get closer, Forrest, and now Kaiden. Despite the walls I built, it feels good to let people care.

But that doesn’t mean I’m going to tell Kaiden the whole truth. “He’s been absolutely fine. He’s committed to this project,” I say in my most professional voice.

“I bet he is. Good to hear,” Kaiden replies with a chuckle. I’m glad he can’t see me as my infuriating blush returns, and I can’t help but wonder if he suspects something between Rowan and me.

Thankfully, he signs off before it gets any more awkward, and I toss the phone back onto the desk, groaning.

Grabbing my empty cup, I open the office door and head toward the cafeteria. As I pass, I clock Rian back at his workstation, my eyes on his screen, which holds the latest pack data. He turns, seemingly sensing my presence, making me freeze slightly before I continue, doing my best to pretend I wasn’t looking over his shoulder. I don’t know why he’s setting me on edge today. His questions weren’t that suspicious. In truth, he probably just made me think about my own concerns. About the data and Rowan. Things I don’t want to face up to.

I hole myself up in my office for the rest of the afternoon, completing some data profiles for the Volva that we know about so far. As usual, I avoid completing my own. Beyond my enhanced fertility markers, I don’t appear to have any special gifts—a fact that annoys me immensely, even though I know it shouldn’t. I’m a scientist; I live and breathe facts, and I know our research into the Volva is in its infancy. But still, having always felt like an outsider without my wolf, I can’t shake the desire to fit in with other shifters, to be useful, and to be able to protect myself and others.

Even though I’m lost in my work, Rowan’s arrival hits me like a tidal wave long before he reaches my office. This strange bond between us snakes like tendrils, bridging the gap between us. It’s almost sensual in its intensity; the urge to see him is palpable. He doesn’t knock, which ought to piss me off, but his knowing smirk as he enters instantly throws me off balance. The door clicks behind him, and immediately, the room feels too small.

“Come here,” he beckons, and I’m already moving. I’m swept into his arms as his lips crash down on mine. “God, I’ve missed you.”

Despite myself, I laugh. “You’ve only been on patrol.”

“And I shouldn’t miss you, love? It’s cold out there, and so very hot in here.” He nibbles my neck as he presses his hardness into my flesh.

I roll my eyes, pulling myself away despite the enigmatic draw to be closer. “We can’t, not here. What will everyone think?”

“You’re their luna. They’ll think I can’t keep my hands off you. Which I can’t,” he chuckles but takes a step back and picks up my coat. “But I can wait. At least until I get you into the house.”

Keeping a respectable distance, we walk through the lab together. I feel his fingers dance against mine as I say goodnight to my new colleagues. Rowan nods at Rian, but they don’t speak; Rian is incredibly astute, though, and I see his eyes focus on the way Rowan’s arm slips around me as we go through the main doors. I wonder if people believe the mate's ceremony was merely a formality or if they sense the strange bond that has developed between us. Do they pick up on the way his scent now clings to my body?

As we cross the town square, his hand slips easily into mine, and he asks me about my work. I tell him about our progress, the pack DNA results, and the Volva data profiles.

“Have you always known you were Volva?” He asks, turning to me and brushing my hair from my face.

“I knew that I didn’t have my wolf. My mother wasn’t surprised, with my father not being a shifter. But she was disappointed, I think, for me,” I reply honestly, taken slightly aback by my own candor.

Rowan looks thoughtful for a moment. “Not many female shifters mate with humans. Is that how you came to Kaiden’s pack later? Were they not accepted?”

I wonder how much of my truth I want to share, but as I look at him, the bond warming my soul, I find myself telling him a partially redacted version of what happened. I leave out the part where my father was a hunter and explain they were killed because of their union. Genuine sorrow flickers across his features, and he takes my hands in his.

“I am sorry for your loss, and I’m glad you found solace in Kaiden’s pack. And now here.” He pauses, looking toward the frozen lake for a moment before sighing, “My own parents died because of their love.”

I gasp as the strength of his unspoken emotion rolls off him, and I grip the sleeves of his coat to steady myself. His eyes flash from blue to silver. He feels it, too.

“I-I’m sorry,” I stammer.

His lips quirk in a small smile that suddenly makes him look much younger. “It was so long ago. Strange, though, that we find ourselves here together. No?”

All I can do is nod as we continue toward the house, the golden thread of our bond burning brighter as the wave of emotions flows between us. I make a mental note to ask Senna and Kit about the bond and whether this is normal when I speak to them later.

However, as we cross the threshold and he pulls me toward him, all other thoughts fall to the floor.