Page 17

I sink into the warmth enveloping my body; there are comfortable sheets, and I can smell my mate. My body feels unusually relaxed, as if I’m floating on a cloud. Something nags at the edges of my mind, but it’s almost completely brushed away by an all-encompassing sense of peace.

I hear Rowan’s voice, low and steady, and it makes me smile. My fingers move, looking for him in the tangle of the sheets. I wonder who he’s talking to. I open my mouth to ask him, but something seems to be stopping me.

“She’ll wake up,” I hear someone saying in the background, and I want to say I am awake, but the words don’t come out.

I still feel cozy, but the feeling that I should be doing something only grows. I feel like I’m half asleep, somewhere between waking up or dozing off, and I’ve just remembered something I need to do…did I forget to run some data? Do I need to tell Rowan something?

Yes. I need to tell Rowan something.

I shouldn’t keep it from him anymore. I need to ask him what he’s hiding from me, what it means for our…

Baby.

Suddenly, a tidal wave of fear washes over me, and my hands fly to my stomach. I feel a dull ache, almost as if it’s far away or partly numbed, as my fingers brush over my skin. Where are my clothes? Why does it hurt?

“R-Row—” I force out. My voice feels strange, as though I can’t speak properly.

I feel a hand brush my cheek, and I already know it’s him. My mate. Rowan’s warmth seeps into my body, and I lean into his touch. “Shh, love. You’re okay now.”

“I’m not,” I mouth the words with very little sound coming out, and my eyes flutter open. The room spins, and my head feels like it’s filled with cotton wool. I blink a few times, trying to make out what’s in front of me. “I can’t see straight.”

Rowan leans down and kisses my forehead, his hand finds mine, and he holds me close. “Sara gave you something for the pain. You’ll be okay in a moment. Just breathe.”

Tears prick my eyes, but I try to concentrate on breathing and make sense of my surroundings. “I-I need to…we need to check…” I know I’m mumbling, but everything feels so mixed up in my head.

Rowan is kneeling beside me, his face etched with worry. “What is it? What’s wrong? Do you need more painkillers?”

I look down at myself, taking stock of the situation. I’m in some kind of gown, and there are sheets tangled around my legs. My skin feels clammy, and I suddenly remember. Rian. He attacked me.

“Rian,” I whisper, fear turning into anger as I think about him trying to hurt me. He’s the traitor. Rowan’s hand tightens on my arm.

“He’s dead,” he says simply. His voice is calm, but there’s a hint of something darker beneath the surface. “You’re safe here, love. It’s over.”

I shake my head, tears beginning to fall as I try to sit up but can't seem to move properly. Rowan helps me into a half-sitting position and supports my back with one arm. He then leans closer as he hands me a glass of water.

“Here, drink,” he says. “That bastard hurt your throat, but I can see you’re already starting to heal.”

“I need, Sara,” I say weakly. He nods and goes to move, but I grip his arm, “I’m pregnant. H-he kicked me so hard, Rowan…”

Rowan freezes, something akin to pure darkness crossing his features. It’s enough for me to drop my grip on his arm, my breathing faltering under his unwavering gaze. Seeming to notice my reaction, he reaches for me, his hand trembling.

“I shouldn’t have killed him so quickly,” he says so quietly it’s almost indecipherable.

He turns and leaves the room without saying another word, the door closing softly behind him. As soon as he’s in the hall, I hear a crash, and a strange low growl filled with emotion and rage. Moments later, Sara comes rushing into the room.

“You’re awake, thank god,” she says, touching my arm lightly. “Rowan has filled me in, sort of. He’s kind of on a rampage out there.”

I try to smile at the pack’s kind-hearted doctor, but the pain in my side intensifies again, and fresh tears burn my eyes. “He didn’t know,” I say. “Is he angry?”

“That’s one word for it. He’s going ballistic,” she says, and my blood runs cold; he’s that unhappy about the pregnancy. As if reading my expression, she gasps, “Not about the baby! He’s trying to get into the room to kill the hunter. The other alphas are having to hold him back.”

“He didn’t know,” I repeat sadly.

She rubs my arm, “It’s okay, Willow. Let’s just get you hooked up to some of these machines and check on the little one, okay? How far along are you?”

I open my mouth to answer just as the door opens. Rowan stands in the doorway, looking more disheveled than I’ve ever seen him, his usually groomed hair out of place and his clothes torn from an apparent fight. Behind him, I see Griffen in a similar condition.

“The hunter?” Sara asks them both.

Rowan walks toward me, taking my hand but remaining silent. “Alive until he answers our questions,” Griffen says. “I’ll go wait for the other alphas to arrive.”

With that, the door closes, and Sara continues setting up the machine. “How many weeks?” she asks again.

I can’t bring myself to look at Rowan as I answer quietly, “Eight to ten from the blood tests, and I checked the heartbeat last week in the lab. But I haven’t known long…” I say shakily. “I wasn’t expecting…”

Sara nods as Rowan lets out a shaky breath next to me, his fingers stroking my hand, but he seems unable to speak as Sara switches the machine on. The tiny pads on my stomach feel cold as the monitor runs through a series of beeps. Sara frowns and adjusts the pads. The silence growing ever more deafening. I grip Rowan’s hand as I watch the emotion flicker across Sara’s face. Eventually, she turns the monitor around to us, and I see the completely flat lines. I know what that means.

“I am so sorry,” she says, tears shining in her eyes. “There’s no heartbeat.”

I stare at the screen, the pain in my side forgotten as I feel emotion course through my entire body. Rowan pulls my body against him, and I feel his shoulders shaking as he tries to hold back sobs. “No,” he gasps. “No, no, no…”

Sara slips from the room as we rail against our emotions. Pregnancy has been so rare for so long; carrying to term is even rarer. As I stare at the flat lines on the screen, I simply feel numb. Rowan’s sobs slow, and he simply holds me to his chest. After what feels like an eternity, I lift my hand to his shoulder and turn my face, burying myself against his neck and breathing in my mate.

I thought I knew pain and loss, but I’m not sure I did until this moment.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you,” I say weakly, knowing that nothing I say now will be enough. “I’m so sorry, Rowan. You must hate me for this.”

He shakes his head, “Hush. It’s not your fault.” His voice is raw, but he holds on to me like I’m the only thing keeping him grounded. “I will find everyone involved in this, and we will make them pay. I promise.”

I close my eyes as the tears slide down my cheeks, “And then what? Will we kill every hunter in revenge for our child?”

He kisses my forehead. “Yes. Every last one of them will die." His alpha power crackles around the room as I feel his resolve. Silence falls between us before he tilts my chin up and asks, “Why didn’t you tell me, love?”

I take a shaky breath, my eyes returning to the monitor, unable to tear my eyes from the flat lines that signify my baby’s death.

“I was scared,” I admit softly, “I didn’t know how you’d react…or the pack, and I…I needed to understand the DNA mutation. I needed to get my head around it first.”

I can’t bring myself to look at him as I hear him sigh sadly, “I would have been happy, love. So happy. To have a child with you would be more than I ever dreamed possible.”

I lean against him, allowing his wolf to try and calm my grief even as my tears fall, his very essence warming the broken shards of my heart. A soft knock at the door pulls me from my thoughts, and I look up to see Sara peering around the door.

“I’m sorry to bother you both,” she smiles sadly. “The other alphas are here, and the lunas would like to see if you’re okay. I can send them away if you’re not ready.”

I shake my head, “No, it’s okay. They’re my friends.” I wipe my eyes and look up at Rowan. “It’s okay.”

“Only if you’re sure, love,” he replies. When I nod, he tells Sara she can let them in. He then steps back slightly as Kit, Senna, and Kenzie file slowly into the room, grief etched on their faces.

“Oh, Willow,” Senna says, stepping to my bedside and taking my hand. “Sara told us, we are so sorry.”

Kenzie and Kit step forward, offering their condolences, and I allow my tears to fall again. I look at the lunas and feel such gratitude that they are here. I only wish I’d told them about the pregnancy, too.

Rowan squeezes my hand, and when I look at him, I can see how affected he is. Tears glisten in his eyes, making them shine silver, and his luminescent skin glows even more under the clinic lights.

As our eyes meet, I’m suddenly reminded of the conversation I heard between Rian and the hunters after he attacked me. He was saying something about getting rid of all the elders…he mentioned the DNA.

Vampire.

I stare at Rowan, and it’s as though the room and everyone else in it falls away. He looks confused for a moment, and then understanding seems to dawn on his features; I feel his trepidation through the bond as we stare at each other. It is as though I’ve spoken the words out loud. I’m dimly aware of the others talking in hushed tones as Rowan takes a step back.

“I’m going to go talk to Grayson and Cade,” he says quietly. “I’m sure Kaiden and Jet will be briefing them.”

I want to stop him, to ask him about what Rian said, but there are too many people in the room, and I know my questions would probably make me sound insane. Vampires don’t exist. Did they ever exist? Was I just hallucinating?

Deep down, I know I wasn’t. I’ve always known, haven’t I?

He stops at the door and looks at me. I hear Senna talking about needing to eat and unpacking some food she’s brought, but I can’t tear my eyes away from his. All the answers to my questions are reflected in his gaze.

I see him turn to go, but something catches his eye, and he rushes forward to the monitor, spinning it around toward me. The flat lines have been replaced with a steady rhythm of peaks. “G-get Sara,” I say, not daring to consider what this means.

“What’s going on?” Kenzie asks, stepping forward to stop me from falling out of bed as I twist to see the screen better. Senna gasps and then runs from the room to find Sara.

Sara appears, and Kenzie moves to the side, turning to the other lunas. "Let’s step outside and find the men, give them some space.” She squeezes my hand. “We’re here for you.”

The moment the door closes, Sara grabs the monitor and stares at it, shock written all over her face. She turns to me and adjusts the pads that were still on my stomach. Silence falls in the room as the monitor readjusts. A second later, she turns ashen-white, her eyes widening. “I…I don’t understand.” She glances from the monitor to my stomach and back again.

“What is it, Sara?” I ask, fear squeezing my heart, and I hold my breath.

She looks at me, inhaling slowly. “There’s a heartbeat now…”

I stare at her, my mind whirling with so many questions that I can’t form a coherent thought. How is this even possible? Is it real?

“I-impossible,” Sara mumbles. She looks to Rowan, who appears completely dumbstruck. “Have you ever? Have you ever known anyone do this? The baby was…gone. I’ll take some blood. Run t-tests.”

He grabs my hand, a smile breaking out across his face. Genuine happiness radiates from him. “No, but I don’t care,” he laughs. Our baby is okay.”

My heart feels like it might burst from my chest as I take in the reality. Our baby is okay. But will it stay okay? I need to know why this is happening before I can be certain our baby is safe. I need to know the truth.

One truth I do know is that Rowan will make a wonderful father, whatever his DNA. The moment he knew our baby was alive, I felt a surge of pure love through our bond, and I know that whatever happens next, I want to face it with him.

Turning to him, I take a deep breath and say, “Tell me, Rowan. Please. Is this because our baby has vampire DNA?”