Page 22 of Players Like Us (Reunion Gap #7)

F rom the moment she opened the invitation to Meredith and Neal’s surprise party, Rachel had wondered if Neal would be there.

She’d convinced herself he wouldn’t be, which lessened the anticipation that he might be.

The man had disappeared from her life and while she’d considered several ways to ask Dominic about him, she’d buried each one.

If the man wanted to be found, he would be.

If he had any desire to see her— at all —he knew how to find her.

And now, here he was, standing in his brother’s gigantic sunroom, gazing out of the wall of windows into the semidarkness.

What was he thinking? The furrowed brow and intense expression gave nothing away.

He looked so alone, so out of place and uncomfortable, as though he wished he were anywhere but here.

Gone was the man with the air of self-assurance and a carefree attitude that said he didn’t want or need anyone in his personal space for longer than a few breaths—or a quick hookup.

What if that weren’t true? What if he’d been hiding his real emotions, determined not to share or get hurt?

She understood all about doing that. Don’t put yourself out there and no one can hurt you or take advantage of you, and they certainly can’t destroy you.

Keep the emotions inside, pretend you don’t care, and never reveal your true self.

Hadn’t she been doing that for years? She studied the set of his jaw, the strong nose, the lean figure in designer labels. ..

“He never was one for big crowds, though you’d never know it.”

Rachel turned to Meredith, nodded. “He doesn’t look very happy. Too much family or…?”

Meredith, blinked, tears filling her eyes.

“Too much everything. Neal doesn’t want people to see how much he cares so he hides behind outrageous comments and questionable behavior.

But my brother does care about a lot of things and I wish he would just let people see the real him.

” A sniff, a shake of her dark head. “He’s not going to show anybody… not even me.”

“Why?” The more she found out about the man, the less she understood.

A swipe of her cheeks. “Why do I think he cares too much, or why do I think he won’t let anyone see?”

“Both.” Why did she care about Meredith’s answer?

What did any of it matter? She didn’t know, but it did matter and for some crazy reason she wanted to understand the “why” behind this man.

So she could best him? So she could avoid him and cross him out of her life as nothing more than an annoyance?

Or was it something else? Something deeper, like a need to understand the fragile, broken part of him because she cared?

Cared? What did that even mean?

Meredith’s words pierced her thoughts, inched to her heart.

“It’s very difficult to be the sibling of an older brother who’s perfect and rarely, if ever, makes mistakes.

We love Tate, he’s our hero and our champion.

He saved us when we were children and he will always try to protects us.

” Meredith cleared her throat, bit her bottom lip.

“Mostly from our father, but sometimes he tries to protect us from ourselves. But being second or third, or not even recognized because your brother outshines everything? It’s an impossible situation.

If you’re someone like Neal, all you want to do is be yourself, but you can’t because it won’t be good enough, so you stop trying.

Neal found it easier to play the prankster and the joker than to stand up to our father or our brother’s perfection. ”

“I do know a little about trying to follow in a near-perfect sibling’s steps.

” Rachel raised a brow. “Daniel took on the responsibility of watching out for me, made sure I stayed out of trouble or if I did get into trouble, he’d pull me out.

Not what I wanted either. I fought him for years and many of my less admirable choices were more about fighting him than my parents. ”

“My husband can be somewhat forceful and stern, but he’s coming around. I like to think I’m teaching him patience.”

“If you could do that, I would be forever grateful.”

Meredith winked. “Stay tuned...” She hugged Rachel and whispered, “I’m not sure what’s going on between you and Neal, but he’s a good person. Don’t give up on him.”

Her words stayed with Rachel as she sipped her wine and made small talk with Tate and Charlotte Alexander.

They were the perfect couple despite their obvious differences in fashion and style choices, personality, and demeanor.

Tate was calm, sophisticated, in control, while Charlotte was constant motion and spat out whatever shot through her brain, her excitement for or against a particular subject thrumming through her words.

A person would never have to guess where they stood with her.

But the way she and Tate spoke to one another, the casual touches, the looks?

They spoke of love, commitment, and mutual respect.

Neal had disappeared shortly after she and Meredith began talking and still hadn’t returned.

He must have seen her and maybe that’s why he’d gone missing.

Tonight was a casual get- together, while tomorrow would be the big surprise party.

Maybe he’d disappeared because aside from the staff, the only people here were couples.

Talk about awkward. Of course, Daniel wouldn’t consider it awkward that she and Neal weren’t conversing and weren’t anywhere close to being a couple.

He’d be delighted, and if he even guessed at what Meredith had asked regarding potential feelings for Neal, he’d have already taken Rachel aside and begun the interrogation.

It would be brutal with questions, accusations, and too many frowns.

Well, he didn’t need to worry because Neal Alexander had made it very clear that he wasn’t interested in her.

Rachel spent the evening sampling so many delicious choices: shrimp canapés, stuffed mushrooms, crab cakes, hummus and tzatziki.

.. And the desserts? Key lime tarts, mini chocolate lava cakes, lemon squares, and the most wonderful chocolate chip cookies she’d ever tasted.

She’d just finished her second cookie when he spoke.

“You can’t beat the key lime tarts.”

She swung around and came face-to-face with the man whose absence had tormented her for weeks. “I wasn’t sure you’d come.”

Those blue eyes sparked for the briefest moment, burned her with their heat and then it was gone, replaced with a bland expression and a self-deprecating smile. “Of course, I’d come. How can I miss this important event that we all have to pretend we don’t know about?”

Had he guessed tomorrow was their surprise party? Rachel nibbled on her bottom lip, determined not to give away the “secret”. “I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about...”

“Okay, we’ll go with that.” He studied her for a few seconds, eyed the glass of wine in her left hand. “Do you want to get out of here? I need a break from all the festivities.”

“Umm...sure.” Was he really going to act as if they hadn’t spoken in weeks? As though everything were fine between them? No friction? No anger or hard feelings?

A quick nod and then “Follow me.” He headed to the kitchen, opened the fridge, and grabbed a six-pack. “Beer okay with you?”

“Sure.” Well, apparently he was going to pretend around why he’d been avoiding her, though she’d guess it started and ended with her refusal to listen to his warning about Simon Bainbridge. “I never pictured you as a lager man.”

He flashed her a smile, shrugged. “I prefer beer over scotch or wine, but when you travel in certain crowds, they stick up their noses, and when you drink beer out of a bottle, minus the glass?” His eyes crinkled at the corners. “You’re pretty much uninvited to all future parties.”

“I’d say those are parties you don’t want to be invited to.

..” The more she learned about this man, the more she realized they weren’t that different.

They just wanted to be themselves without judgment or scrutiny, and they wanted their families to accept them.

“Neal, do you want me to drive? I’ve only had one drink. ”

He raised a brow, studied her. “I might have had my reckless days, but I’m not stupid. I’ve been nursing that damn scotch for the past hour, dying for a cold beer. I’ll drive.” And then he motioned her toward the back door and said, “Let’s get out of here.”