Page 30

Thea

“For what it’s worth,” Aster said as she pushed Jackson’s controller off the coffee table, putting a drink for me in its place. My heart stung a little at the move. I didn’t want Jackson pushed away. He was mine and deserved a seat at the table. “I don’t think it was that bad.”

“You mean the concussion or the sprain?” I lifted my shoulder and grimaced, waiting for the pain to hit, only to remember, I couldn’t feel a thing. I was flying high on some pain medication, but even in this state, I knew I looked pretty banged up. I mean, come on, how the hell was I going to explain to my parents that I got injured because I was giving my roommate a blowjob while he was driving? I shivered at the thought, and as much as I didn’t want to, I knew I’d need to talk to Tanner about the optics of this.

Aster rolled her eyes. “No. The injuries are bad, and the way we found out how you got the injures was terrible, but you know, it isn’t as catastrophic as Tanner was making it out.” I glared at her, confused. “I just think he’s really stressed about everything. He’s not thinking straight.”

“You don’t have to vouch for my brother. He has every right to be angry with me.”

When the apartment door opened, my heart stilled. Would Jackson be walking straight? Would he be walking in at all? Tanner was the first person I saw. His jaw was clenched, his eyes stoney. I gulped, not knowing how to face him after all this. When the door opened farther, revealing my boyfriend’s wide frame, I sighed in relief. Calm. It definitely wasn’t the drugs this time. That tranquility could only be due to the man throwing me a boyish smile from across the room.

“Well, I’m happy to see you’re both alive,” I said, trying to make a joke. No one acknowledged it, which wasn’t new.

Tanner walked over to Aster, pulling her in for a long hug before kissing her on the forehead and holding her at his side.

“Tan Tan,” I whispered. He still looked exhausted, and I had so much I wanted to say to him. Nothing felt right. Nothing felt good enough for how much I’d screwed up.

He didn’t look me in the eyes when he said, “I just need a little time, Thea. Can you give me that?” I nodded, knowing if I said anything else, I could make things worse. The important thing was he was acknowledging me and he hadn’t killed my boyfriend.

He rubbed Aster’s side, bringing her attention to him. “Come on, I need to get some sleep.” Aster followed him down the hallway to his bedroom without saying another word.

Really? That was it?

No anger? No yelling at me? I’d seen him more passionate about the Baseball Bachelor picking the wrong contestant. Wasn’t he supposed to be watching me for forty-eight hours? I thought he’d relish in the protector role.

Tears prickled at the back of my eyes, knowing his indifference could only mean one thing. I’d fucked up more than ever before. Never had Tanner treated me like that, and it hurt my soul in ways I couldn’t describe. My twin. My best friend. The only person who stood up for me when the shit really got bad. He didn’t even want to look at me anymore.

“Thea.” It was like Jackson’s voice was the breaking of the dam, and tears spilled down my cheeks. He made his way over to me, his hands wrapping around me and pulling me close. I dropped my head onto his shoulder, taking in the warm feeling of being connected to him.

“Why can’t I do anything right?” My voice trembled as I said the words. It was the first time I’d acknowledged it out loud. In my head, I could push it away into the dark recesses of my mind and not let it get to me. I couldn’t run away from it now.

“He’ll come around.” Jackson’s words were supposed to be comforting. I got that. I just didn’t feel it. Did I even deserve to be comforted? After what I did?

“Easy for you to say. He talked to you. He won’t even look at me. He’s finally realized I’m a fuckup; always fucking up at the wrong time. I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do to make it better. I’m a terrible person.”

Jackson pulled me away from his chest, looking me in the eye. “Don’t say that, Pyro.”

I shook my head—ignoring the dizziness which came along with it—and wiped my cheeks. “No. You don’t get to comfort me when I’m the one who caused this. Every time something good happens to Tanner, I’m right there, dragging him down and fucking things up for him. He never has a chance at being happy or enjoying his own accomplishments, because I’m always quick to make everything about me.”

My stomach sank like it was weighed down with stones, my throat tightened, and my vision blurred at the edges. It was the truth. The dark insidious thoughts I always had; I just never had the guts to say them out loud until I had someone I trusted to hear them.

I tried to drop my head, but Jackson’s big palms caught my cheeks before I could. His deep eyes took me in. “Hey. Don’t say those things.”

“Why not? They’re true.”

“They aren’t, and I hate hearing you talk like that about the person I love most in this world.”

He gently kissed my lips, letting the words sink in as my vision started to clear.

My brows crossed, and I shook my head. “No. You can’t love me. I’m—I’m—”

Terrible. Pathetic. An attention seeker. A pick-me …

All the things ran through my mind, but none made it out of my mouth since Jackson finished the sentence for me.

“The most incredible woman I’ve ever met. You’re headstrong and know your own mind. You aren’t going to let anyone tell you what to do, and you don’t care about what they think. Not that you need to. You’re better than anyone I’ve ever met. You have a strength I’ve never seen before. The only person getting in the way of your success is you since you can’t see what I see.”

My shoulders slumped. It felt impossible to push back on him even though I really wanted to.

“You may not have everything mapped out like Tanner, but I love the path you’re carving for yourself. And as long as you’ll have me, I’ll be right there beside you every step of the way. I love you, Thea. Quirks and all.”

Why was he looking at me so earnestly? As though I could shift the world on its axis?

“Seeing you unconscious made me realize just how much you mean to me. If I had lost you … I don’t know what I would’ve done.”

“You know I love you too, Jackson. There’s no one I’d rather be arguing with than you.”

His creased brows relaxed as the words rolled out of my mouth, and holding my cheeks in place so I wouldn’t get dizzy, he kissed me. A slow, gentle kiss confirmed the love we felt for each other.

Before I knew it, he’d slipped his hands under the back of my knees and lifted me as though I weighed nothing. “What are you doing?” I asked, swinging my good arm over his shoulder to hold on.

“I’m taking you to my room.”

“But what about Tanner?” I looked down the hallway to my brother’s door. The hallway was dark, and I doubted Tanner would come out, but showing off my relationship like this still felt odd.

“What about him? He left you out here with me. If he wanted to be the one to monitor you for the next forty-eight hours, then he would have told me to fuck off. He didn’t, so you’re stuck with me.”

I pressed my nails into his neck, ignoring the pain the move brought in favor of being closer to Jackson so I could whisper in his ear. “I couldn’t think of a better place to be stuck.”

After walking into his room, he shut his door and carefully placed me on his bed. “Yellow? When did you have time to change the sheets?”

“You haven’t slept in my bed for a couple of days, Pyro.”

I burrowed into his pillows, enjoying the smell of him all over my skin. I winced when I rolled onto my shoulder and frowned. That pain must’ve meant my medication was wearing off.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, and took my shoes off, giving my feet a little rub as he did it.

“My body aches.” I moaned, and he massaged my ankles and feet, only making me feel a little better.

“Whacking your body into a steering wheel with a dick in your mouth will do that to you.”

I laughed out loud at that. Jackson already knew me well enough to know I’d like that kind of joke.

“In all seriousness, how’s your dick doing after such an injury?”

His fingers stopped moving. “Really? You’re going to ask me that?” I nodded. “It’s fine. A little sore, but nothing compared to the stuff you went through. Did they give you any instructions on your physical activities over the next couple of days?”

“Umm.” Even though Jackson’s hands felt like magic, my brain was still throbbing through the painkillers. My shoulder had a dull ache radiating through it too. “They said lots of rest and to do nothing too vigorous.”

He nodded, his hand moving up to my calf where he offered it the same treatment. Kneading and massaging. It felt nice, and I hated to admit, it made me a little hot. However, I doubted that was on his mind.

“Good to know,” he said as he moved his hands higher up my thigh. I pouted a little when they didn’t stay there for a massage but squeaked in surprise as he slipped his fingers under my sweatpants and underwear.

“What are you doing?” I asked, giggling as I lifted my hips to help get the clothes off quicker. Jackson’s body moved over my exposed skin, and he pushed my shirt up to kiss my navel, working his way up to kiss me on the lips.

I pushed my hands through his hair to deepen the kiss, but he had other plans. He grabbed one of the pillows to his side and winked as he backed away from me. “Jackson?” I urged since he didn’t answer me the first time.

“Just lie back, Pyro. I’m going to take good care of you.”

There was a glint of mischief in his voice, and I didn’t mind it at all.

He placed the pillow beside my ribs before his lips descended to my stomach, kissing and nipping the skin there as his hands moved up my sides under my shirt, all the way to my braless chest, only stopping to tweak my sensitive nipples.

“Ouch.” I grimaced when he moved my sling too far. He looked up with concern, and I tried to laugh the pain off. “My, uh shoulder. Still can’t move it without discomfort.”

He nodded, with thin lips, moving his hands down to my ribs. I lay back, closed my eyes, and tried to ignore the throbbing pain in my head.

“I’m not sure we should be doing this,” I said, even though my unslung hand was grasping onto his hair, pushing him down. He was too strong for my efforts, though, and acted like it was nothing.

“How’s your headache?” he asked, placing butterfly kisses across my navel. My bottom half was bare to him, his torso the heavy weight stopping my hips from rocking.

“It’s still there, throbbing away like an incessant woodpecker. I assume the medication is taking some of the pain away, though.”

His tongue licked across my stomach just as his hands squeezed my ribs, and I shivered.

“After we were told you were okay and we were waiting for you to wake up, I did a little reading.”

“Oh?” I moved his hand, encouraging him to continue his descent so I could focus on something other than the pain.

“Yeah. I was looking up all these different ways to help you feel better, which might not involve medication.”

“Like homeopathy stuff?”

“Mm-hm. Something like that.”

His body shifted above me, and I whimpered as his chest skated across my most sensitive part.

“Did you know there’s evidence that an orgasm can help soothe a headache?”

My body tingled at the word orgasm. I shouldn’t have been so ready to do something like that with Jackson after everything that happened, but I was. I craved the intimacy.

When our eyes connected, he gave me a boyish grin before kissing my navel again. “And where did you read this?”

“I found a few studies on it, but most of the findings were inconclusive. It needs to be more rigorously testing.”

“Oh.”

“I was thinking maybe we could help science and see.”

Okay, that tingle of pleasure was building to something more. An ache only Jackson could soothe.

“For science, obviously.” I bit my bottom lip, nodding as my gaze traced the lines of Jackson’s arms—strong, corded with muscle. I loved that all that strength was focused on me.

“Clearly. For science.”

He took his hands away from my chest, grabbed the pillow, and tapped my hip. “Then lift up.”

I followed his command, and he tucked the fluffy pillow under my pelvis. Propping me up so my feet were planted on the mattress and I was wide open.

He groaned while taking me in.

“Beautiful,” he said, and planted the quickest of kisses to my clit.

I took a sharp breath, my body convulsing at the touch. Even with the pain medication, I could feel that. The small thrill of pleasure. The desperate need for more.

I squirmed, doing anything to calm my need for him. “Thea,” Jackson warned, his palm resting against my pelvis as he gently guided my body back down to the pillow. “You need to stay there, or I’m going to have to stop.”

“Stop?” I opened my eyes, glaring at him with incredulity. “But moving my hips isn’t vigorous.”

“It is if you start humping my face. Just relax, Pyro. Let me do all the work.”

He raised a brow, looking at me sternly. It was hard to take him seriously though since I could feel his breath across my center. His fingers twitched across my stomach, so I closed my eyes and forced myself to relax. I just focused on the points of contact between us. His fingertips skating across my stomach. His arms resting across my thighs and holding me open. His breath fanning my sensitive center.

It was only after several minutes of calm breathing that Jackson placed his lips against my clit, kissing me tentatively. I wouldn’t have noticed if I wasn’t expecting it. Gently, his feathery lips eased away any tension still left in my body. I sank into the mattress, my thighs opening wider, hoping for more.

His pointed tongue made lazy circles around my clit before sucking it into his mouth and biting down gently.

I saw stars. I wanted to scream. I wanted to lose my mind. The only thing holding me back was the fact my brother was also in the apartment. I swallowed down the moan and lifted my hips toward Jackson’s face, encouraging him to take more.

Over and over, he gently lapped at my center as though he would spend the next two days there. I wouldn’t mind if he did. It was pleasure and torture at the same time. He was going too slow to make me come but toyed with me just enough to keep me in this relaxed, almost euphoric state.

“You like this, don’t you?” he asked before he rubbed his nose across my clit and pushed his tongue into my entrance.

My back bowed off the bed, making Jackson back away. When I dropped my body down, he placed his hand on my stomach, anchoring me to the pillows as his tongue went back to work.

I squirmed, threading my hands through his hair, moaning every time he hit the right spot.

“Is this relaxing?” he asked, licking his lips, watching me earnestly.

“Mm-hm.”

My body twitched, and Jackson pushed a finger inside me. I yearned to move, but with his hand in place, it was impossible.

“Dripping wet,” he said, curling his finger. Didn’t I know it? He’d spent so long down there I could feel the mix of Jackson’s saliva and my arousal dripping off me and onto the pillow below.

I sucked my lips into my mouth, desperately trying to focus on the feeling instead of moving my body. I didn’t want him to stop, the strength of pleasure spiking through every nerve of my body was more intense than I’d ever felt before.

When he added another finger and circled my clit with his tongue again, that was it. It was all I could take.

He knew it too.

He held his hand in place and flattening his tongue, I felt him watching me as waves of euphoria crashed through my body. White-hot heat flashed across my vision as Jackson tickled my clit with his tongue. I clenched around his fingers, wanting more.

Breathless and exhausted by the time I’d come down from my high, Jackson kissed the top of my slit, languishing in the mess he’d made. I was too tired to be disappointed when he dragged his body over mine, holding himself up so he didn’t put pressure on my body. Then he leaned down and kissed me on my lips.

I could taste my arousal, and as he backed away to lie next to me, I noticed a sheen of wetness across his face. My wetness. It seemed he had no intention of removing it. Something primal and possessive burned in my bones as he brought his hand to rest under his head.

He was mine. All mine.

“How’s your headache now?” he asked.

My gaze drifted across his body, and even though he was fully clothed, I could see his erection through his dress pants.

Funny, it was the first time I’d thought about the throbbing pain since his lips connected with my clit. All that was left now was this tingly, relaxed feeling. Maybe there was some truth in those statements.

Biting my bottom lip, I shook my head. “Nope. It still hurts,” I lied, wanting him to do it all over again.

The tips of his lips curved. “Well, I guess I’ll have to keep trying until we get a more definitive answer. You know, for science.”

I rolled my body toward him, but his hand clamped onto my hip, stopping me. “No sudden movements.”

Pouting my bottom lip out, I said, “I want to feel you inside me. Will you please make love to me?”

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea, Pyro.”

“Why not?”

“Really? Do I need to explain it?”

I rested my hand above the one he placed on my hip. “Please. I’ll be the perfect pillow princess and let you do all the work. It’s just, after everything that happened, I want to feel you inside me.”

It was the connection I was craving more than another orgasm.

“I can’t. Not tonight.”

It was the first time Jackson had ever said no to me, which only made it clear how serious he was. Instead of giving in, he carefully slid the pillow out from beneath my hips, easing me back onto the mattress, before pulling his comforter over me with a tenderness that made my chest ache.

With his arm wrapped around me, he kissed my temple and whispered, “Get some sleep. I’ll be here if you need anything.”

I couldn’t argue or deny that I was exhausted and maybe he was right. Maybe this was all a little too much for me.

As my eyes closed, he said, “This will all be okay. I love you, Pyro.”

It was the last thing I heard before I fell into one of the best sleeps of my life.

I love you too, Baseball Cap.