Page 28

Thea

Tanner sighed heavily. “I know. I’m sorry.” His voice sounded distant, like he was in another room. “No. Don’t come. I’ll take care of her.”

Take care of who? Aster?

I wanted to say Tanner’s name, but my throat was too raw to make a sound. My head pounded; my body ached. When I’d finally gathered the strength to open my eyes, all I saw was a blinding white light, which was too much for my sensitive eyes.

Where am I?

My head felt like it was splitting apart even though I wasn’t moving, and the dizziness made me want to hurl. I let out a weak groan, but it barely registered over the relentless throb in my head. Surely, no one else could have heard it.

“Yeah, I’ll let you know when she wakes up.”

When who wakes up? Me?

“H-how were they?” Jackson. His deep voice immediately brought me comfort.

“Like you care.”

“Tanner!” It was Aster chastising my brother, which meant it wasn’t her who was in trouble.

Was it me? But I was fine and right here.

I had to be dreaming. The voices sounded too surreal to be anything but in my head.

“Are you seriously getting upset with me right now?” Even though Tanner’s voice was clearer, I couldn’t bring myself to open my eyes. “For being rude to that jackass?”

I didn’t like the curt tone in my brother’s voice. Not when it was against my boyfriend.

“I’m sor—” Jackson’s voice was strained. Panicked, even. What the hell was going on, and why wasn’t anyone telling me?

“Tanner.” Aster spoke again, and I desperately tried to focus on everything they were saying so I could figure out where we were.

“No. I don’t want to hear it. You were an asshole tonight. Not only did you risk your own life, but you risked my sister’s, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive you for it.”

There was a bang, then a beat of silence.

Risked my life? What the hell was he talking about?

“He’ll come around. I’m sure of it.” Aster spoke again, and I couldn’t handle it anymore. I needed to know what was going on.

Groaning at the pain, I forced my eyes open, squinting against the searing white light. “Tanner?” It hurt to speak, and my voice cracked at the end of my twin’s name. I had no idea if this was real or a fever dream, but I knew he’d tell me what was going on. He always did.

A warm palm covered my own, grounding me. “Pyro?” Jackson’s voice was sharp and layered with urgency. “Tanner, come back! Thea’s awake.”

“I’ll go get him.” I saw a flash of Aster’s red hair as she moved through the room.

I took a breath and shut my eyes, the throbbing pain in my head becoming all too much. “Stay with me, Pyro. Your brother will be back in just a second.” His thumb rubbed my palm, and I so desperately wanted to squeeze it tight to let him know I was okay. I couldn’t, though.

“Jackson.” His name left my lips like a plea. The last attempt to let him know I was still there.

“I’m right here, and you have no idea how happy I am to hear your voice.”

Before I could open my eyes, I felt a shift—a different hand slipping into mine.

“Thea.”

Tanner’s voice pulled me from the haze, and as I blinked awake, I found him watching me, his expression tight with worry. He gently brushed a strand of hair from my face, his touch careful, almost hesitant.

“How are you feeling? Do you remember who I am?”

His voice cracked, his brow furrowed, and the way he studied me sent a familiar ache through my chest. It was the same look he’d given me that night in high school—the night he found me in the bathroom after everything fell apart.

For a split second, I wanted to tease him, maybe pretend I didn’t know who he was because he was my brother and it was my job to annoy him. However, the anxiety etched across Tanner’s face made me hold back. Clearly, this wasn’t a moment for jokes.

“How could I forget you, Tan Tan? You took up all the space in the womb, leaving me to fester in the corner and survive on the scraps.” I shuffled in the bed, noting the stabbing pain in my shoulder as I did it.

“Glad to see you haven’t lost your spirit,” Tanner said, softer this time.

“What happened?” By now, I could open my eyes just enough to take in the sling securing my arm and the bandage wrapped around my forehead. A jolt of realization hit me, my eyes widening as the reality of it all sank in. “Did I break my arm? What happened to my head?”

The entire event started coming into focus. Tanner, Aster, and Jackson were all here with the same worried expression as they watched me. Did I look that bad?

“Anyone going to tell me?”

Aster stepped forward. “They think you sprained your shoulder. The sling is there holding it in place until we get the x-ray results back,” she answered, stepping away from the couch and giving me a timid smile. Why was everyone in the room looking at me as though I could break?

“A sprained shoulder? That sounds like an injury Tanner would get.”

“It is. You’re officially an athlete now, Pyro.” Ignoring the pain, I turned to look at Jackson who was standing at the back of the room, giving me a hesitant smile. “You usually only get those kinds of injuries on the field.”

“Do you really think it’s time for jokes, Jackson?” Tanner glared at my boyfriend. “When you knocked my sister unconscious and injured her shoulder?”

“Wait, what happened?”

Tanner sighed, and the bags under his eyes were almost black, and his hair was all over the place. It was obvious he hadn’t slept in days. “Jackson wrecked his car with you in it.”

“He did?”

Tanner stopped me as I tried to shift my weight, which was helpful since every move sent pain down my spine. “Do you remember anything about last night?”

I tried to think, but it hurt. A lot. Like hot iron to the skin kind of hot. So much so, I drew in a sharp breath. Tanner’s thumb rubbed across my palm, offering me little comfort.

“We went to the banquet dinner with the dean …” Tanner started.

“I remember that. Just not much after.”

My brother laughed bitterly, glaring at Jackson again. “Well, Jackson got shitfaced before driving you home and wrecked his car.”

Wrecked his car?

“He wasn’t drunk,” I answered. “He was with me the entire time. I would’ve seen it.”

“You sure about that?” Tanner asked with a sarcastic edge to his voice. “He drove directly into a tree. If that doesn’t scream drunk behind the wheel, then I don’t know what does.”

As if it was a flash of recognition, it all came back to me. Jackson holding my hand, us in the car. Me on his lap. My head between his … Fuck. Was the wreck because of me?

“Did he take a breathalyzer? He wasn’t drunk.” I kept talking to try to process everything that was happening. Jackson was now staring at the ground, his hands stuffed in his pockets as he refused to make eye contact with anyone. “He didn’t hurt me. I’m fine. There’s no need to worry.”

“Except for the sprained shoulder and concussion,” Jackson said, his voice soft. I could feel his urge to touch me, and I had the same need too. I needed to be comforted by him. The only person able to take away my pain. He wouldn’t, though. He was respecting my brother, and the unease in the room gave me enough indication he hadn’t told Tanner why the accident occurred.

It was all because of me, and I wasn’t sure if he hadn’t said anything to save my dignity or his. Maybe it was a little of both.

“Don’t talk to her,” Tanner snapped, glaring at his friend with more anger than I’d ever seen before. The only other time he looked like that was when … well, when one of his teammates tried to sexually assault me.

I squeezed Tanner’s hand, directing his attention away from Jackson. “Calm down, T. It’s okay. I’m okay.”

“No, you’re not, and don’t try to make me feel better about the situation when you’re lying in a hospital bed, bandaged up to your eyeballs. That idiot nearly killed you with his reckless driving, and he’ll be lucky if we don’t press criminal charges against him.”

“Criminal charges?” I whispered, looking at Jackson in surprise. His lips were flat, but I could see the tic in his jaw. This was serious. “He didn’t hit anyone, though. How could he face criminal charges?”

“He hurt you, Thea. I promised you I’d never let something like senior year happen again, and here we are.” He swallowed, looking at the floor but not at me. My stomach twisted, the memory becoming all too real. The situations weren’t the same, and I needed Tanner to see that.

“Jackson didn’t hurt me. I did this.” I shook my head, making the pain worse, which I couldn’t show, in fear Tanner would blow up at Jackson again.

“Let’s all just calm down,” Aster said, stepping a little closer to us. Her voice was like a soothing tide between my brother and me. “I think it’s important we focus on the fact that Thea is awake now. I’m sure your parents would like to hear about that.”

The room fell silent for a few seconds. I was bursting at the brim, wanting to say something and defend Jackson. He started speaking before I could.

“I’m sorry, Tanner.” Jackson’s voice was low, but everyone in the room heard it. “I was distracted. I’ve taken full responsibility and already told the cops when I talked to them.”

“Cops? You spoke to the cops already?” I asked in shock. How long had I been asleep?

“He did, and they did a breathalyzer which confirmed he wasn’t drunk,” Aster added, glaring at Tanner, who grumbled in response. “They’re looking into issues with the car now. Let’s just focus on the fact that both Thea and Jackson are okay.”

“Okay?” Tanner laughed bitterly. “You think this is okay? My sister has a concussion and a ripped shoulder all because my idiot roommate can’t get his life together.”

Idiot roommate?

“Hey, wait a minute,” I interrupted, pulling my hand away from my brother. “That’s not fair. Jackson’s not an idiot. He might do stupid things from time to time, but this was my fault.”

“How?” Tanner’s brows knitted together, and his eyes searched mine, waiting for an answer.

“Um.” I looked at Jackson, not wanting to lie but unsure of how to tell Tanner the truth without telling him the truth. No brother wanted to know when you had their friend’s dick in your mouth. Tanner shook his head, anger bouncing off his body until Aster’s hand rested on his forearm.

“Tanner,” Aster’s voice was low, and made Tanner stop in his tracks, “hear them out.”

“How did I not see this sooner?” He looked between the two of us. He’d put something together, but I wasn’t sure what. “You were yelling at each other like you always do, right? Screaming to the point that Jackson couldn’t concentrate.”

I glanced at Jackson. Was this close enough to the truth that we could keep him thinking like that? “I should have known better than to trust you two to make it one car ride without trying to kill each other.”

No. I couldn’t lie to my brother. Not after everything we’d been through. After everything he’d helped me with over the years.

With my eyes closed, I said, “We weren’t yelling.” My heart was beating erratically. I knew what I had to do, even though I didn’t want to. “It was all my fault. I was distracting Jackson. The accident was my fault.”

Swallowing, I could almost taste the tension in the room as Aster and Tanner listened closely. My head hurt again, and I wished I could blame it on the injury, but I knew it was because what was about to come out would be worse than anything I’d ever had to admit to before.

“What were you doing to distract him, Thea?” Tanner asked.

“Umm.” Answering with the full truth would help no one. “I’m dating Jackson.” There, that sounded better than “I was sucking him off.”

“Wha—” Tanner’s eyes darted between my beau and me as he processed the information. “You’re dating?” Confusion laced his voice, and when he looked at me, I didn’t need to say a word. Our twin telepathy confirmed it. He knew. “You’re fucking kidding me?” He laughed bitterly, shaking his head. “You were screwing him while he was driving?”

I’d never been more embarrassed in my life than hearing Tanner say those words. “Not exactly,” I whispered.

It took him a moment to get it, and I knew the minute he did. “No, Thea. Please don’t tell me you were doing that?”

I cringed. There was no way around it. I’d left enough breadcrumbs that he’d figured it out without explicitly saying it.

“Look, the important thing to understand is it’s all my fault. This is not Jackson’s fault at all.”

“Thea.” Jackson tried to interrupt, but I raised my hand, stopping him. He’d been called enough names tonight. It was my turn to protect him.

“Stop trying to defend me. It’s time I owned up to my own reckless behavior. I am the reason for the car swerving off the street. Don’t blame Jackson.”

Tanner pulled his ringing phone out of his pocket, showing me the screen.

Mom Calling.

“They’re worried sick about you. They’re trying to change their flights so they can come here and see you instead of coming for the draft.”

“They don’t need to do that,” I said quickly, realizing just how much I’d fucked up again. This was one of the most important times in Tanner’s life, and here I was, making it about me. He’d never say it, but I knew better. I was the problem in this. I always was.

“So, what am I supposed to say?” Tanner asked, making my stomach turn. My parents would find out about my sexcapades, and that was how they would be introduced to Jackson as my boyfriend. There was no way around it now that I’d admitted as much to Tanner.

“Tell them I’m fine, and I’ll call them when I’m back in the apartment. I am going home tonight, right?”

“Thea, where you’re sleeping tonight is the last thing you should be worrying about. You do realize it’s an offense to distract the driver in California, right?”

“I’m not going to press charges,” Jackson answered quickly. He was inching toward me, stopping when Tanner pinned his gaze on to him.

“How can you both be so dense? It doesn’t matter if you don’t press charges. If the cops find out, they’ll charge you anyway. Ever heard of a DUI? You can get one even if you don’t hit someone else.”

Tanner’s phone was flashing incessantly in his hand. I could see all the worry and stress building up within him. He was always trying to protect me even when he had too much on his plate.

“This is a fucking nightmare. I need to speak to Mom, and then I’ll go find a doctor and let them know you’re awake.” He shook his head, moving fast out of the room before bringing the phone to his ear. “Hey, Mom. Yeah, she’s up.” That was all I heard as he turned the corner and walked away from the room.

“I’m glad you’re okay, Thea,” Aster said, breaking the silence. “I’m also glad to hear you two have finally admitted your feelings for one another.” As if that was the most important thing right now. Tanner was pissed, I couldn’t move my shoulder, and Jackson had no car. I’d fucked everything up royally this time. There was no denying that. “Just give Tanner some time. He holds a lot of guilt over that incident in high school. Which caused him to overreact.” The fact she knew that meant he’d talked to her about it. No doubt in great detail, which meant he’d spent more time acknowledging it than I had since it happened. It was all I could think about now. “He’s not angry at you. There’s a lot of other stuff going on, and this just didn’t help his stress levels.”

The draft, Aster issues, his life changing. I didn’t need to add to it, but I did.

“He’ll come around.” Her voice was soft, and there was clear affection for my brother in it. Well, at least they seemed to have made up.

“No. This isn’t on him. He has every right to be upset.” I couldn’t stop thinking about all the times he’d bailed me out over the years. It was too many. I’d put too much on him, and this outburst was proof of that. He deserves someone better. “I’m a fuckup. I’m selfish, and I don’t think about the effect of my actions on others, especially Tanner.”

“Thea.” Jackson’s hand landed on mine, and I gave him a smile out of pity. Reality hit me in that moment. This was how our relationship would be announced to everyone. How pathetically grim but also appropriate for me. I could do nothing normally. When I announced things, it had to be with a crash—no pun intended.

Aster pointed her thumb over her shoulder. “I’m just going to check Tanner’s okay and give you both some time alone.”

When she left the room, it felt strange. Jackson was standing beside the bed, looking down at me. Neither of us knew what to do. I lifted my arm, which seemed to be enough of a signal for him to sit in the chair next to me. My fingers itched to touch him, even though I wasn’t sure he’d dare to. Not while my brother was so upset. It was crazy to think how much I missed his touch when we’d only been dating for a few days.

Finally, he gave into the urge, his hand linking with mind. “You scared the shit out of me there, Pyro,” he murmured. Jackson leaned over, kissing the top of my head, and when our gazes connected, I noticed the glisten in his eyes. It took my breath away. I’d never seen Jackson emotional before, and to know it was over me made me feel terrible.

“I’m sorry.” What else was there to say? He didn’t want me to do it, yet I did.

He nodded, tightening his grip, and leaned his head against my good shoulder. “It’ll be okay. I promise, Pyro.”

Biting my lip, I stared at the wall as I held back the tears. I wish I could believe that. It would not be okay. I’d ruined it for everyone. Tanner. Jackson. My parents. My decisions weren’t just affecting me. They were affecting everyone around me, and I had no idea how to fix it.