Page 29

Jackson

My pinkie grazed Thea’s as Tanner drove us home. The car was silent, and I was squashed, sitting in the back seat with my head against the window. I didn’t dare look at the girl next to me, in fear of unleashing the wrath of Tanner. Thankfully, Thea only heard the tail end of our argument—if that’s what you could call it since I didn’t fight back—otherwise, she’d be even more upset than she already was. She didn’t need to see her brother like that. She already carried enough guilt.

When I subtly turned my head to see Thea, I couldn’t gauge her expression. She was glaring out the window, no doubt trying to forget everything that happened. The music was on low, and no one had spoken since we’d left the hospital. What was there to say?

“Oh, this is a good song.” Aster broke the silence as she reached over and turned the radio up. As much as I hated Bailey Hill’s sugary pop music, it was better than sitting in the all-consuming silence. Every minute felt like hours, only adding to the guilt I already felt.

Aster subtly looked over her shoulder from the front, giving me a wink before she slouched back into her seat. She was fighting for us, which could only mean she thought Tanner was being unreasonable. He wasn’t. I agreed with him. I’d been an asshole, thinking with my dick instead of my head. We should have told him about us the minute he got back. Hell, I should’ve told him the minute I realized my feelings for his sister were more than platonic. He deserved that. I should’ve stopped driving when her hand dropped on my crotch, and I certainly should’ve pulled over before her mouth got anywhere near my dick.

This was on me. I’d fucked up and needed to be the one to make it better. To prove to Tanner and everyone else that Thea and I weren’t just fooling around. We were more than that. She wasn’t a fling. She was fucking mine, and Tanner didn’t need to worry about her from now on. I would protect her.

I caught Tanner’s eyes as he looked in the rearview mirror, and damn, if I wasn’t already afraid of the guy, the look alone would make my balls shrivel. Fuck, I’d heard about people talking about his menacing glare on the field, I’d just never been on the receiving end before. Dude was scary when he wanted to be.

I took in a sharp breath and glanced over at the object of my affections, which made me want to laugh. If anyone told me I’d be smitten over the fluffy onesie-wearing fireball, I would have said they were delusional.

As if she felt my eyes on her, Thea rolled her head and gave me a lazy smile. My heart skipped a beat. Literally. Shit. That had never happened before. I really was gone for with this girl. All I wanted to do was reach over, haul her into my arms, and kiss away the pain. However, I was conscious a move like that might get us into another car accident if Tanner saw. So I reached for her hand in the middle seat and laced my fingers with hers instead.

Her shoulders eased, a soft, contented smile tugging on her lips. The sight sent warmth spreading through my chest—It was because of me. At least I was getting something right. Then again, it could’ve been the heavy meds they’d given her.

Still, when I traced my thumb across her hand, her smile deepened. In that quiet moment, we were saying more than we ever had in words. She was safe now, and I’d do everything in my power to keep it that way.

As we rolled into the apartment parking lot, I was surprised by how fast the drive had passed. When the engine cut off and the radio fell silent, we were back in the same quiet we’d started with. Only now, it felt different. Heavier. Because this time, I could still feel the warmth of Thea’s hand in mine. Mine to protect, and I’d be damned if I let anything happen to her.

Tanner cleared his throat. “Aster, can you please take my sister to her room and make sure she’s comfortable?”

Thea sighed and squeezed my hand as she leaned into the middle console. “I’m fine, Tan Tan. It was a small hit on the head. Nothing else.”

Tanner ignored Thea, choosing to keep his eyes on Aster. Aster let out a groan of hesitation before exiting the car. Then Tanner turned to the front, refusing to look at Thea. Wow. I’d never seen him this angry, and I wondered if it had to do with what he had to tell his parents to ensure they didn’t change all of their plans to come here.

Thea squeezed my hand, pulling my focus back to her. She mouthed I love you just as Aster opened the door, offering to help her out. She gave me one last lingering look before slipping from the car, and every part of me ached to follow. To scoop her up and carry her inside myself.

The only thing keeping me in my seat was the blistering glare I could feel burning into me from Tanner through the rearview mirror.

We both watched as the two women stood by the elevator, waiting. Only when the doors shut with them safely inside did Tanner finally move. He stepped out of the car, rounded the hood, and pulled open the back seat door before sliding in beside me.

Instinctively, I shifted toward the window, my left bicep pressing uncomfortably against the door. Tanner’s car was spacious, sure, but not built to accommodate two guys our size crammed into the back seat together.

He said nothing, and I hated silence.

“Back seat, eh? Here I was thinking Aster was the only one who was lucky enough for a make-out session like this. I won’t tell if you won’t.”

Nothing.

Not even the slightest crack of a smile. Tanner rolled his head and took me in. “Are you ever serious?”

“Sorry,” I quipped. “I guess I just kind of thought I needed to break the tension.”

He shook his head, mumbling “Idiot” under his breath. It was the first time in my college career I felt small. “This isn’t something to joke about in my opinion.”

“You’re right.” I raked a hand through my hair, the nerves consuming me. I’d been grilled by dads back in high school when I attempted to date their daughter for longer than a night, and not one of them made me feel as shitty as when my best friend looked at me.

Betrayal.

Anger.

Those were just a few emotions I could see swirling behind my friend’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have made that comment. You know me. My mouth just runs, and sometimes I can’t stop it.”

“We’re friends, right?” Tanner asked, staring at the seat in front of him instead of at me.

I nodded. “The best of. You don’t live with a guy for two years and not think he’s awesome.” Was that too much? Probably. I was trying hard, but I wanted to regain his trust.

“Exactly. We know each other.”

“That we do.” I blew out my breath. “More than we’d ever need to.” I clenched my teeth, stopping myself from elaborating. Seriously. Of all the things I knew about him, I couldn’t imagine what it would feel like to know your sibling sucked off your best friend and got into an accident because of it.

“Then I need to be honest with you.” He turned, his knee knocking against mine.

“Of course.” I maintained eye contact, wanting him to know I was serious about his sister.

“I’m concerned this is one big joke to you.”

My brows crossed, and I paused, thinking about it for a second. “A joke? Thea?”

“Yes. She’s my sister. My twin sister, who’s been through enough shit for a lifetime. She doesn’t need any more of it.”

“I agree, but I need to make it clear. I’ve never been more serious about anyone or anything in my life.”

His eyes tracked my face. I didn’t know how to make it clearer without telling him I was in love with her, which I didn’t want to do, not yet, at least. I shifted my shoulders, feeling the judgment across his face.

“I want to believe you. I really do. I just don’t know if I can.”

He closed his eyes. The guy was looking haggard and stressed and way older than twenty-one. He didn’t look like someone who was just about to be the first-round draft pick. I guessed all the stuff with Aster and now Thea had clearly taken its toll on him. I was part of that, and it only made me wonder how much this guy could take before he broke.

“I get that. Especially finding out the way you did. That’s not my finest hour, and I will work tirelessly to prove to you that Thea is not a joke. She’s the best thing to have ever happened to me, and I will do everything to make sure she’s happy.”

He didn’t answer me, and I knew why. He thought I was a screwup, and to be honest, I’d done nothing to dispel that notion since we met. I was repeating my third year of college, and obsessively played video games so I could review them whenever I had time off. I wasn’t studious in the way Matty or Adam were. I didn’t have the financial backing of Aiden either.

I was just me, and that didn’t feel like enough when it came to Thea. How could it? Thea deserved the world. Yet, all I could offer her was a gaming chair and a vibrating controller.

“She’s your sister, Tanner. I wouldn’t have kissed her if I wasn’t serious about her.”

He groaned. My blabbermouth struck again. Why the hell would I mention kissing his sister? That only served to remind him what appendage his sister was kissing before we got into the wreck. Even I thought it was gross in the context.

“How long has it been going on?”

“Dating her, or liking her?”

“Both. You flirted with her when she first got here, but since then, all you’ve done is bicker. In fact, you were bickering during dinner with the dean. Now, you’re suddenly together and into each other enough to cause a car accident because apparently you can’t keep your hands off each other for longer than a few seconds.”

Bile rose up my throat, and I felt all kinds of wrong for doing anything with Thea behind his back.

“I’m sure you can understand my skepticism.”

I bit my tongue, taking my time to respond. It was important I answered correctly and didn’t just blurt out the first thing that came to my mind.

“We started dating the night you came back from Aster’s.” It was the truth, and something about finally admitting she was my girlfriend felt right. Tanner would get used to it; I had years to prove myself.

“But you’ve liked her for longer, haven’t you?”

I nodded before cricking my neck. “You know how they say there’s a fine line between love and hate?”

“Mm-hm.”

“Yeah, well, I guess I might’ve always sat on the fence of that line. I might’ve always had a crush on your sister. I pushed those feelings aside for you. For her, and honestly, I guess I just never thought she’d be interested in me. I couldn’t believe she was after finding out what happened to her.”

“She told you about that?” he asked, surprised.

I nodded. “Yup.”

“I think you’re the first person she’s ever told. Most days she pretends it didn’t happen.”

“She does. She acts like this invincible force, happy to take care of herself, but I see what you do. The soft girl underneath. It changed her, and I will never let something like that happen to her again. That guy wasn’t worthy of her.”

“And what makes you think you are?”

I laughed sarcastically. He had a point. I’d done nothing to earn the respect of being called her boyfriend. Not yet, at least.

“You’re right. I’m not worthy. I don’t deserve her. Not yet, but I will. Thea’s given me something to fight for. I want to be better because I want to see her succeed and make her happy. I vow to do everything in my power to prove to you and Thea that we were meant to be together.”

Tanner sat back, as though he was taking in my words. I shifted to face forward in a lame attempt to give him some privacy. There wasn’t much back here, considering our shoulders and knees brushed.

“I can’t even use the ‘if you hurt her’ line because you already did, and yet, here I am, still listening to you and still somewhat convinced you two should be together.”

Okay. Okay. He was saying that in anger, but it was a start. He thought we should be together. That was a good sign since I thought the same. Thea and I were perfectly imperfect. We fit. I knew it. He knew it.

I knocked his shoulder with mine. “Brother.” He slowly looked over at me, his face flat.

“I’m not your brother,” he gritted out in annoyance.

Not yet.

Fuck. Did I just think that?! I’d only technically taken Thea out on one date, yet I was thinking about what it would be like to have Tanner as my brother-in-law. Visions of Thea wearing a white dress walking toward me with that sarcastic smirk across her face flooded my mind, and I had to stop myself from smiling. That confirmed it. Britt was a witch, and she had put her spell on me. I didn’t just want a girlfriend. I wanted a wife.

I was done for.

I shifted a little, making sure I could really look at my friend when I said, “The only thing I can do at this point is promise that I’ll never let her get hurt again. I will treasure her the way I treasure the 1986 Nintendo games console my parents got me for Christmas when I was eight.”

Tanner narrowed his eyes, and I squirmed in my seat. Maybe that wasn’t the right comparison. “I have it under lock and key in my room at my parents’ house.” I cringed. “Not that I’m going to keep your sister under lock and key, but what I’m trying to say is, when I really care for something, I do my best to look after it.”

“Jackson?”

“Yes?”

“Please stop talking. You’re making it worse.”

“Okay.”

We sat in silence for the better part of five minutes before I broke it. Yes, he told me to be quiet for my own good, but I didn’t have that ability, and I admired the people who did.

“So, does that mean I can keep my balls for now?”

Again, Tanner didn’t break a smile. It was unnerving how serious he could be when he wanted to be.

“If I had the time or inclination to take you outside and threaten you until you saw stars, it would have happened already. You’re a good guy, Jackson. She might never admit it, but Thea’s more than my sister. She’s my best friend, and I want to see her happy. She has this spark when she’s around you, and frankly, if it means I won’t have to listen to you arguing, then at least my ears will get a rest.”

My shoulders slumped and I smiled goofily. It wasn’t that bad telling him, was it?

“Besides, I don’t need to hurt you too bad, you’ve got enough to contend with when it comes to dating to my sister. She’s a powerhouse.”

“Don’t I know it.”

“You’ll never win an argument.”

“Yup.”

“She’ll make you feel like shit when you screw up.”

“I’ve already felt it.”

“But you’ll do anything to make her smile.”

I raised my hand. “Guilty.”

He didn’t laugh. He just shook his head and opened the door. I took that as my cue to get out of the car and follow behind him. I couldn’t wait to see his sister, and as we stood in the elevator on the way up, I was sure Tanner knew.