Page 45

44

Lenna

S asha was sobbing nonstop, her dark curls a hot, wild mess and her brown eyes somewhere between irritated-flood and I’m-going-to-slap-you-with-compassion.

“I cannot believe you were in your ordeal and almost didn’t make it, and I didn’t even look for you because I thought you and Jake were fucking your brains out, as usual.”

Lenna considered her answer, biting her bottom lip in a failed attempt to keep a serious face. It was definitely better to not go into detail about how close to almost didn’t make it she had been. The way the memory of her death limbo caused her absolute fucking terror and an irresistible need to laugh hysterically in equal parts was probably concerning. But what would life be if she didn’t ignore the concerns and moved on?

“That’s what we’d have been doing otherwise, to be honest.”

“But you weren’t , Lenna. You were fighting for your lif—Don’t look at me like that, okay? I’m not going to ask you again about the damned ordeal. You keep it all for yourself, because why would anyone need to talk to a friend, anyway? Am I even a friend if instead of worrying about you I was busy with a blond distraction?” Sasha wiped her soaked eyes angrily, making her pretty face even redder.

“Oh. What blond distraction, miss?” Lenna tilted her head, lifting her eyebrows repeatedly. “I didn’t know Arabella was your type.”

Sasha rolled her eyes, pointing at Lenna as she said, “You talk, I talk. You don’t talk, then I will not fucking talk.”

“Brendon’s cock has to be huge. The day he was wearing those sweatpants, I swear on the Fifth I could s—”

“Lenna,” Sasha shouted, interrupting her. “For the love of all feathers and my own sanity: talk to me .”

Lenna pursed her lips, avoiding Sasha’s stare. “I don’t give a shit and have no sympathy for any feathers, but I do value your sanity, and yes, you are my friend—a bloody good friend—so stop blaming yourself for something you had no idea about.”

Silence followed, and when Lenna made eye contact with her, Sasha’s arms were crossed, her pinning stare demanding more. Lenna exhaled theatrically and obliged.

“The ordeal was crap. Imagine being inundated by petals, not being able to make them disappear fast enough to keep from being trapped, being stupid enough to think giving fire to the sea was a good way to compensate for it, then burning the whole thing down because, you know, why not? And then when my man came to save me, because he is way better than what an idiot, pyromaniac like me deserves, I didn’t even realize because I was so far gone.”

“Jake saved you.” Sasha’s words weren’t a question, her smile was genuinely happy, proud, her tears not angry ones anymore. “Of course, he did. He’s fallen deep, your man.”

Lenna bit her tongue, this time to keep her own tears from falling. “He’s good, Sasha.”

“You don’t need to convince me.”

“Sometimes I need to convince myself. He cares like no one else has ever cared about me before, he treats me as if I’m something precious, valuable, something unique that deserves to be loved. And he . . . he doesn’t hold back. He gives me everything he has. His ruthlessness, his trust, his passion, his devotion, his love.”

“His sex.” Sasha grinned.

Lenna winked. “Times fifty.”

“I’m so happy for you, Lenna. You deserve to be loved well.”

Loved, fucked, saved .

Lenna gave her a tight hug and a kiss on her still wet cheek. “If you ever say you’re not my friend again, I’ll rip these sexy-ass curls of yours.”

Sasha gasped dramatically. “Savage bitch.”

“Warning has been served.”

Sasha’s laugh accompanied Lenna to the door.

After the unanimous decision to abandon the other navia in the middle of the Radel Sea, they traveled like a happy family towards Orizane. The crescent-shaped island, creation of Llunal and apparently where most courtrades lived, was somewhere towards the East of Thyria.

Thanks to the united efforts of the six courtrades and—shock-not-shock—Hope, their travel speed was incomparable.

Hope , for all non-feathered-creatures’ sake.

Whereas the shadows worked more efficiently at night and culminated their strength at ante meridiem, Hope’s magic was formidably scary at any time of the day. For the past thirty hours, the black-haired woman had stopped a handful of times, barely long enough to sleep or eat. She didn’t seem to care. And her constantly open palms, Giving as if the sole purpose of her life was to move them through? Lenna’s— anyone else’s—would have cramped or fallen into pieces by now.

But that wasn’t the most impressive.

She had been using panom magic Giving wind.

Wind.

Wind .

What the actual Fifth blessing was that? Did a woman with such power truly need the Fifth power?

A flash of the Organ Mandor and his lovely Red and Black Lawful Stabs, of death and torture and endless pain, broke through Lenna’s thoughts. Okay, maybe Hope needed the Fifth power if she was to beat him .

The other panoms had tried to join her with their best efforts at moving the vehicle through the waves. Ayla’s eyes were sore and she couldn’t open them after a few minutes. Lenna had to use her magic like an old woman while sitting in a bloody chair as otherwise she was dizzy, and even doing that, she didn’t last long. Jake took a while until he joined his half-sister, but when he did, they were a marvelous sight of unhinged power, his silver eyes glittering as the sky changed above them.

Ciaran had been there from the beginning, and he was still there. Not using his magic constantly, as sometimes his shivering took over and his hands couldn’t aim properly. But he was still there, looking at Hope, drinking her in.

The men joined and stopped, rejoined and eventually stopped again. And Hope fucking Gave, Gave, Gave. What could someone’s inner scale be, so that unceasing, relentless magic didn’t seem to touch her? It was as if she didn’t have one.

The way Ciaran admired her, though. In all the years Lenna had known him, she had never seen the blue-eyed man be lost in another being. He looked at Hope as if she was everything that mattered, as if she was his guidance and his saving.

He didn’t leave her, not for a second. Every moment Hope Gave, he was there; anytime she accepted minimal rest, Ciaran took over, his shadows loose and more present than ever. Perhaps being surrounded by other courtrades, in a vehicle created by his dark god, had allowed him to embrace his shadows with freedom.

Lenna walked downstairs, looking for Jake, but he found her first.

“Here you are.” His eyes sparkled with something that could be excitement.

“I have questions.”

His side smile was challenging and amusing. “I love an interview.”

Lenna held his hand and dragged him towards one of the under-deck rooms. He closed the metallic, black door behind him and Lenna put her hands on her hips. “Can I mind-talk to you now?”

“You mean mind-annoy me? I don’t know, you tell me.”

That was not promising. “I’ve tried to tell you things multiple times in the past few hours, and either you’re an asshole who ignores me to annoy me, or it doesn’t work.”

His black hair covered his forehead when he tilted his head. “I haven’t ignored you. I would have loved to hear your inner monologue.”

Lenna’s brow furrowed. “It wasn’t meant to be a monologue.”

His side smile didn’t move when his voice echoed in her mind. I know. I meant I would have loved to know what you so desperately wanted to tell me.

She snorted. “Well, there was a bit of everything, to be honest. A few for fuck’s sake just answer , some I know you’re listening , a couple you’ll never get rid of me now , and a very, very detailed description of how I would love your cock to fuck my mouth.”

His eyes darkened to a shade of grey immediately. “Very detailed, huh?” His hoarse voice and slow pace towards her made her core tighten. “Did it include how would I grab your hair in my fists while you do it? How I would fill you deeply into your throat until I made you gag? How would my cum taste in your mouth?”

“Yum.” Lenna grinned, the tip of her tongue sliding over her teeth as her golden eyes followed Jake’s until he towered over her. He put his hands under her thighs, lifting her until her back was pinned against the wall.

“I never want to get rid of you, sweet fire.”

His leathery scent and his strong body pressing against her were absolutely distracting and greatly welcomed. “I’m not sure I like to be called sweet fire anymore.”

“Why?”

“Nothing sweet about being too fucking stupid to burn myself and my ordeal with me. If anything, I’m fire-cursed.”

He shook his head slowly, his black waves brushing against her cheeks and neck.

His hand was on her jaw before she could blink, his lips meeting hers with longing and need. Her breath was ragged as their tongues collapsed in a dance that could last forever. It wasn’t only heated need, there was more.

There was the raw desperation and consuming rage they’d suffered. This kiss was suffocating the vivid possibility that one could have died without the other, the pure fear when the end felt so close. But here they were—very-fucking alive, together, closer than they’d ever been. Stronger than they’d ever been.

Her hands wandered under his shirt, his defined abdomen greeting her touch as his teeth bit her bottom lip, his low groan in answer to her peaked nipples asking for more. Her fingers moved towards his back, his very muscled ba—

She gasped, widening her eyes, panic cooling her blood as she jumped to the floor, walking behind Jake.

“It’s nothing.”

She Took his shirt, words not finding her mouth as shivers traveled up her thighs. It hadn’t been her imagination. What she had felt with the tips of her fingers, what she was looking at right now, was Jake’s utterly scarred back.

She knew what had caused that burning, painful destruction to his skin, to his body. She had fucking caused that, and how badly must have that hurt?

Tears flooded her eyes, her heart sore as if she’d been stabbed. “You should have told me.”

Jake turned around to face her, his fingers wiping away her tears as he sighed. “Told you I have scars that prove I would do anything to save you?”

“Maybe I can Heal them,” she managed to say between jagged breaths. “Maybe I can make your skin smooth again.”

“Lenna, look at me.” His still dark grey eyes narrowed until hers met his stare. “I don’t want them Healed. These scars will forever remind me to never take for granted how lucky I am to see you smile, to hear you laugh, to touch you, to kiss you, to be with you. I wear them with pride.”

Her heart squeezed with overwhelming guilt, pain, and love. Her arms surrounded him, losing herself in a tight embrace he returned with the same passion.

“I love you, Jake. Thank you, and I’m sorry, and . . . I told you . . . I’m fire-cursed.”

“No, Lenna. You’re my fire-blessed.”