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16

Lenna

B y the time the sun shone through the curtains of their cabin in the navia, Lenna had a pounding headache and surely blueish lips from trying to sleep in such cold.

She had stacked blankets on top of her and Jake until somewhere around the fifteenth she had assumed that Giving them any sort of cover was as useful as a pile of rotten feathers.

“Is fucking our brains out the only way to survive this place at night?” Jake said, echoing her own, still-defrosting thoughts. “It is a question, not a complaint.”

Lenna would have chuckled, were her cheeks not rigid as the metal door. “Llunal is a dirty bastard.” Lenna didn’t find the god of the courtrades one damned bit funny. “If we have to be kept so busy at night, we might as well sleep when the sun is out. Actually . . . It would make sense that the god of shadows wants us to give nights a better use, don’t you think?”

“The Fifth only knows why these gods and goddesses do what they do.” Jake turned his tense body towards her on the bed, casually leaning his head on his hand. “Do you think your friends are still alive?”

Lenna’s facial and arm muscles seemed to find enough strength to elbow Jake while she pursed her lips. He didn’t flinch at her not-so-candid touch, and her elbow was almost sore by how his abdomen muscles appeared to be made of the same steel as the door. “For Cardinals’ sake, Jake. They better be.”

She wasn’t shocked that Jake didn’t consider Sasha and Brendon his friends. Why would he? Jake had made it clear that the only reason he was in this group of people was to get the Fifth. He wanted it to avenge his father torturing Lenna, stabbing her until she was unconscious, and taking her panom powers away.

It still shocked her that such a male, ruthless and unforgiving, gave a shit about her. According to Jake, he gave much more than a shit. Those weren’t his exact words, actually. They had been more like . . .

I chose you, Lenna Brachyan, because you have the fearless heart of those who change worlds. I chose you, because I can see who you are behind the walls you insist on putting for everyone to see. I chose you because even if you have accepted that everyone who should love you has given up on you, I know you are worth fighting for. I chose you because I know you can be as powerful as I am, if not even more. And I chose you, sweet fire, because you are absolutely insufferable, and I can’t get you out of my mind.

It didn’t make sense that he cared so much, that he saw her so much. Of course, Jake Coralt of the Organ House wasn’t here for friendships. He didn’t seem to care for anything or anyone other than himself and the red-haired woman lying with him in bed.

Did this man, consumed by a centuries-long life of pain and vicious orders under his wicked father, have any friends?

The thought was depressing and solitary, and a piece of Lenna’s heart wanted to hide it away to make it less real. She didn’t dare ask him the question. She didn’t dare want to hear the devastating answer and hurt him by making him say it aloud. Maybe not having anyone at all in the world was not even a hurtful thought for him.

Her golden eyes threatened to fill with sudden, unstoppable tears born from the need to protect a man that didn’t need protection.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his silver eyes narrowing as his full lips tightened in a line. He caressed her slightly-less-cold cheek.

“I am lucky to have you. In whatever way I have you, if I have you at all. I hope you know that you have me as well, in whatever capacity you want me, if you want me at all.”

Jake’s eyes narrowed even further, his pupils barely two visible slits.

“I know that didn’t make any fucking sense.” Lenna wanted to hide under the fifteen blankets and perhaps add a few more until her blood circulated to her brain in a way that didn’t make her seem totally stupid and totally overthinking. Which was precisely what she was doing.

Shame hiding away and being sensible were as unknown to Lenna as the bastard god who would freeze them to death. She closed her eyes, taking a breath in before saying, “You have me, Jake. You had me yesterday, you have me today, and you will have me tomorrow.”

“Don’t think I missed the part where you said if I want you , Brachyan.” His tone was chastising and severe. “I donated you petals to help you regain your panom mark; I threw my previous life and my old responsibilities away; I became a fugitive. I joined a crusade that I have only read in books because it’s too risky to attempt in real life; I distanced myself from the only member of my family that I care about, and the Fifth knows that is only half of what I’ve done for you, and to be close to you. Just so I have it absolutely fucking clear. What part of this makes you even think that I might not want you?”

Her golden eyes were not teary anymore. They were full of utter passion for this male. She didn’t deserve him. “You didn’t need to do any of those things for me.”

“I very much know that, sweet fire. And yet, I would still do them five hundred times again.”

The intensity of his lips on hers could have consumed her life, the navia, the whole Radel Sea, and perhaps the Cardinals themselves. She grabbed his face with both hands, answering his kiss with the same devotion. Devotion that spoke of raw desperation, excruciating need, and longing to feel each other closer forever more.

Eventually, perhaps hours later, Lenna let go of him. “Right. My friends. I must see if they became ice cubes overnight.” She widened her eyes, suddenly remembering why she hadn’t bothered putting a sound barrier in their cabin the previous night. “And your special guest? Maybe poor Arabella whatever-fancy-second-name isn’t alive.”

The side smile on Jake’s handsome face matched his chuckle. “That would definitely make your day.”

Not only were Sasha, Brendon, and Arabella fucking D’Arcy very alive and very not frozen, but also, they were enjoying a delightfully complete breakfast under deck.

“Morning, morning.” Lenna took a seat next to Sasha, giving her a quick but firm hug. “You all look very well.” Jake sat at the end of the table, next to a still-sleepy Brendon.

“Not as well as you, surely.” Sasha snorted. “By the second or third time you guys came, I was glad the sound of the waves was that loud.”

Lenna served herself some of the nuts and pastries mix. “Was your night peaceful and quiet, Arabella?”

“It was, when I finished touching myself with you two moaning in the background.” Arabella nodded distractedly. “It was very enjoyable, actually. To the point that I might request my cabin to be moved closer to yours. It helped me keep warm.”

Brendon had a coughing fit, and Jake patted him on the back so intensely that Lenna wouldn’t have been shocked if a rib or two had broken.

“How did you two keep warm?” Lenna turned to Sasha and Brendon to avoid showering Arabella with some aggressively thrown nuts. She didn’t know if Arabella masturbating to the sound of her and Jake eating each other made her jealous, or hot. Because whichever way it was, Lenna had purposely forced her to listen to them having sex. And either way, it was ridiculous if Lenna was pissed off by the consequences of her own Cardinals-damned actions.

“Brendon went to find the courtrades and asked them if Llunal preferred to bury our dead bodies or throw them into the sea.”

“Savage.” Lenna laughed.

Brendon grinned, the green of his eyes shining with pride and delight. “It worked. One of them—I think he’s mute—threw a weird thing at me. I think he might have made it for us, actually. It was like a thick, static shadow that I could move around.”

“This cheek blackmailed me into accepting him in my bed or dying the coldest death ever. ” Sasha’s voice was grave in a weak attempt at imitating Brendon’s voice. “He was all smug smiles and retorts until we fell asleep.”

“Hold. On. A. Minute.” Lenna lifted both palms in the air, her jaw dropping dramatically. “Did you two sleep together? And you didn’t tell me? When were you going to tell me?”

Sasha’s eyebrows shot upwards. “When you stopped fucking, perhaps?”

“And remembered other beings cohabitate in the same world as you two?” Brendon added.

“Shut up. Tell me everything. Every single damn thing.” Lenna filled her mouth with another spoonful of nut mix, and crossed her arms, awaiting nothing but a proper response.

“Nothing happened. We used the shadow cloak thing; we laid down, closed our eyes, and woke up this morning. Ready for a new day.” Sasha smiled wickedly, already knowing how boring Lenna was going to find reality.

Lenna rolled her eyes, turning her face to the side. “Nothing happened yet , you mean. Clearly, not all of us know how to enjoy life in bed.”

“Other than talks about beds and fucks, do you do any work around here?” Arabella asked, shoving a bunch of perfect blond waves behind her shoulder.

“Give us a break, will you?” Jake said. “It was an exhausting night.”

“I know. I heard . But I thought you brought me here to show this woman how to dominate Taking like a professional.”