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Jake

H ere she comes, was his first thought when a tug in his chest claimed Jake out of bed.

He knew who was claiming his presence, but goddesses could wait when he had way more important matters in his hands— on his body . Nothing would ever be more important than his fire woman.

Cardinals, wasn’t she beautiful when she was a sleeping naked fire.

He caressed the skin from Lenna’s waist to the breast pressed against his exposed torso. Her red waves tickled his knuckles. He inhaled deeply, her scent of jasmine and ashes blurring any rational thoughts.

He definitely had time to lick her pretty pussy before his ordeal. His cock hardened at the thought of how delicious she was.

Another tug, rougher this time, wanted to pull him out of this paradise. Impatient Cardinal .

Lenna moved in her sleep, adjusting even more of her body to the shape of his, fitting so perfectly. It was a blessing.

If he woke her up with his tongue, she would see him going to his ordeal.

He was intrigued by what the East Cardinal would come up with to make him prove he was worthy of the Harming feather.

He had been Harmed since he had memory, and he had Harmed since he could. He was going to be fine in his ordeal. But Lenna . . . Her golden eyes had betrayed her these past few days, letting the silent worry speak for her.

His woman was going to be pissed if he left without telling her.

He could deal with her anger, but not with her suffering. It was unnecessary to make her suffer when there was no need to.

Carefully moving her, Jake gave Lenna a kiss in the soft spot between her closed eyes, another kiss barely touching the sensitive skin on the golden panom mark between her breasts. He covered her with multiple blankets and stood.

There would be time for making her scream his name later. Now, the Goddess of the East was waiting to give him hell, and he was going to give her hell back.

The invisible tug, constant now that he was finally answering his calling, guided him to the bottom of stairs he hadn’t seen in the navia before. The stairs were dark like night, cold as ice, and steep as a pain in Llunal’s ass.

The tug claimed his presence, and so Jake climbed up the windowless spiral staircase.

He climbed, and climbed, and climbed. There were only two parts of the vehicle that went that high. He knew he was at the top of one of the edges of the crescent shape of the navia before he opened the black door above him and pushed himself outside.

At the peak of the moon's shape was a small, circular, metallic platform. The vast expansion of the sea and the sky surrounded it from all sides. His eyes didn’t take long to readjust from the pitch-black darkness to the clear light.

He would have been surprised if the courtrades had bothered to put rails. He walked to the edge of the platform, the breeze against his skin cool and pleasant. Jake tapped his foot on the corner of the precipice connecting the platform with the deck of the navia and the sea underneath.

What a simple and efficient way to kill someone.

“Some beings would think it was not clever to make the goddess of your ordeal wait, Jake Coralt of the Organ House.”

Jake snorted lightly. “Some beings would think the goddess could have picked a place less than a thousand steps away to meet the striver.” He turned around, his black waves moving with the air. “Long time no see, East Cardinal.”

The Cardinal of the East stood taller than him in the middle of the platform, her red-feathered wings splayed proudly, her red eyes fixed on his silver ones, her red hair moving backwards as the wind hit her. Her countless scars crossed her beautiful, otherwise perfect face from side to side.

“Is it your bravery or your arrogance that made you think you would be a worthy striver of my feather?” Her eyes narrowed, her pursed lips showing that murderous anger he had met before.

“Very kind of you to ask, my dear. It is familiarity.” He tilted his head to the side, the corner of his lips tugging upwards, daring the Cardinal to challenge his words.

“Do not disrespect me, Jake Coralt,” her voice was a calm, lethal whisper.

“Do not forget I know your power like the palm of my hand, as the strings of my heart, as the words in my mind.” His voice softened as his stare hardened. “Do not forget I know you know. I will not disrespect you, my dear , as long as you do not disrespect me.”

The East Cardinal tilted her head back, her penetrating stare strong enough to throw him over the platform and into the sea, if she wanted.

“Some beings would think it is not clever to threaten the goddess that will oversee your ordeal before she deems you worthy, Jake Coralt.”

“Those beings would be wrong to think I give a fuck about their opinion.”

The nostrils of the East Cardinal flared, and his heart skipped a beat when she disappeared.

Nothing happened. Nothing at all . Could she deny him the opportunity to enter her ordeal? Could she refuse him as a striver?

They needed the East feather to get the Fifth Power. It was the only way to get rid of the male who destroyed his existence by making it agonizing; who dared touch his sweet fire and take her panom powers away, who hurt his Lenna into unconsciousness and assumed there would never be consequences. The Fifth power was the only way to kill his father.

Jake inhaled deeply, goosebumps trailing up his legs as his jaw clenched. There were going to be fucking consequences.

The Harming Cardinal couldn’t ignore him. She wouldn’t ignore him, because he was not going to let her.

“I am here to prove I’m worthy of your wickedness, East Cardinal. Harm me, bitch, or let me Harm.” His voice faded without an answer. “What is it you want from me?”

From the air came a chuckle, followed by the East Cardinal’s voice. “I want it all, my dear . I want your suffering, your pain, and your scars. I want you to regret breathing, to be ashamed of living. I want your torment and your torture.”

He smiled; his goal achieved. His ordeal was happening.

“Then take it,” he encouraged her.

One second, he stood on the platform. The next, he was free falling, his limbs out of his control, until his back was against the metallic side of the navia, his legs floating on the water, his hands—

Cardinals guide him. His hands were pinned to the metal, red crystal shards protruding from his palms—the palms he needed to use to perform any magic. The dripping blood diluted with the Radel Sea at the fast pace it dropped.

He looked up, the tall wall of the crescent side towering above him, and at the very top, barely visible, shone a small, red reflection.

It could only be one thing: the feather he’d claim.

With a grimace, he pulled his bleeding hand off the wall. His whole body hung dangerously from the hand still pinned. He lifted his free hand to his mouth, biting the crystal to take it out of his flesh. He couldn’t.

Jake groaned at the pressure on the other hand. If the crystal broke, he would end up in the sea, and his ordeal would fail.

He slammed the free hand against the wall, above his head, the crystal secure in place before he pulled his other hand off the wall and pushed it upwards. Painful climbing, he could do.

Between forced groans and muttered curses at the shape of the fucking navia, Jake climbed. He pinned his right hand upwards. He let his left hand free and pinned it again.

He would lose a lot of blood—nothing he wasn’t used to.

He would ignore the pain—his endless, always-present, most trustworthy friend.

He would persevere, like he always fucking did.

And then, while the pain didn’t leave his breaking, perforated hands, while his knees hit against the metal wall of the navia . . . It was then when the visions hit his mind.

No, not visions. They were memories .

Memories he had buried so deep they never chased his conscious mind anymore. Memories that now lived in his nightmares.

He hadn’t been more than ten when he found his mother hiding in a room in the Organ House. His father said she would come back soon, but he hadn’t believed him. Jake never believed him. When his mother’s eyes met his, her body shook vigorously. She was crying, and when Jake asked her why, she only shook her head. Her lips—the beautiful lips that kissed him to sleep, the soft lips that spoke words of strength—were sewn together.

His heart had seemed to stop when he got closer and saw black thread tracing the words SHUT UP over her lips. He couldn’t take his eyes off them, his own body shaking as if the worst panomquake had shaken his world. As if a panomquake of rage, pain and frustration had hit his life.

The pain in his hands, the product of the ordeal, reminded him of his real, present surroundings. The East bitch was playing with his mind, but his body was still on the wall of the navia.

He wasn’t in that room anymore, hugging his mother for hours while tears fell on the floor. No, his tears were now falling into the Radel Sea.

He didn’t need to see to climb faster. His path was upwards. As he climbed, another memory solidified, courtesy of the Harming Cardinal. A memory that hurt so much it left him breathless.

The sarcastic, ready-for-trouble grin of a young man with dirty blond hair. Next to Evan was Atlas, her permanent raised eyebrow looking at him with a nostalgic side smile.

The first two people Jake had called friends. The first people without his blood that he had felt comfortable and safe with. The first people who seemed to care about what he felt, what he thought, what he wanted. Evan and Atlas were the first to make Jake feel like he was more than a piece of crap waiting to be thrown away. Like he was more than the heir of the Organ House. He was a person .

He hadn’t been allowed to say goodbye to the first and last people he had called friends. One day, he was planning the next escapade with them. The following, their mutilated corpses had been left on the floor of his room for Jake to find as the ink from his father hit his skin.

Jake roared against the wall of the navia, his fingers not curling as his hands were destroyed, the pain from this memory harming him more than any crystals could.

He wanted the ordeal to be over. He needed it to be over. He didn’t stop climbing, but he couldn’t see how far above he still had to ascend. He couldn’t see reality yet.

He could only see images of moments of his life overlapping. Every time he had been Harmed, every time he had been hurt, every time he had felt hopeless, frustrated, or desperate. Every time he hadn’t felt loved, every time he had cried, every time he had been lonely or frightened. Until . . .

There. The moment he understood he had to welcome pain to his life to continue living. The moment he greeted the pain instead of looking away from it.

It had been centuries since his tears had been dry, since he had been feared, since he had discarded, since his heart had hardened, since his hate had fueled him, since he had distanced himself from the world.

Endless images flashed in Jake’s mind at the speed of panom powers, his breath jagged as he knew what came next. He had to climb to the top. He had to make it before the East Cardinal could make him relive that .

Between clenched teeth, he spoke. “Do you want to harm me? Harm away. Let's see if you can find the bottom of my well. I've dug deeper than any being could imagine. My pain is bottomless, my suffering immense. You, Cardinal, will not be my end.”

His distraction was useless—red fire waves filled his mind as Jake let out a violent scream. He couldn’t see again Lenna’s exposed chest as his father brought the Red Lawful Stab to her skin five times. He couldn’t relive it.

“Leave her alone! Get out of my fucking mind!”

His hands were soaked from the force and speed at which he pinned the crystals, crossing his flesh up and up the wall. How much fucking higher could a Cardinal-cursed wall be?

Lenna’s screams and sobs from back in the throne room echoed in his mind, each painful sound hurting him more than if crystal shards went through his heart. He was going to lose his mind.

Faster he climbed, the regret of not having stopped his father from hurting Lenna threatening to kill him.

He was losing his mind. His woman hadn’t been shouting his name in the throne room.