Page 38

Caleb

Holy-fucking-mother-of-earth-tit-shit. Mason hates me. I search for my clothes, but it’s hard to see and there isn’t enough air to breathe.

Mason hates me.

He never gets really mad, and he’s pissed, snarling at me.

Clothes. I can’t explain naked.

Leo’s going to leave me because Mason hates me.

I’ll need to find a new place to live.

Where are my clothes?

I trip on my duffle and pull on joggers and a T-shirt.

Running back into the kitchen, I try to say “It’s not what you think,” but it comes out, “Tis no wah thuk.”

“Caleb.” Leo gently takes my face in his hands. “Breathe for me. Ready. In… Hold one, two, three… Out slowly. Okay again.” He takes my hand and places it over his heart. “You’re doing good. Keep breathing.”

Air flows in and out of my lungs, and my body sags into him.

“We’re going to sit down and talk this out,” he says, and I flinch, having forgotten about Mason when Leo had me in his arms.

“I’m not sitting.” Mason’s face curls in disgust. “How could you do this to me? Out of all the people in the world, you fuck my father. Have you been planning this for years? I’m so stupid. I thought you were the one person who wouldn’t choose my dad over me.”

“No…not…me…but…you.” I stumble over my words, unable to complete a thought to tell him I’m sorry.

“That’s not fair, Mason,” Leo says calmly.

“Fair? When has my life been fair? My life centers around you. I finally make a name for myself, and you come here to ruin it. Then, you steal my best friend! How is any of this fucking fair!” Mason directs his fury at me.

“In November, after you came out, I asked you if I was the person you had a crush on, and you laughed. Now I know why!” Mason stomps to the door.

“Fuck both of you.” The door slams, leaving a ringing in my ears.

Leo wraps me in a hug. “He’s mad, but he’ll calm down and come around.”

But he won’t. Mason’s feelings about Leo are complicated, and I’ve decimated their relationship.

“I’ll catch a ride to practice with someone else. Liska probably won’t mind giving me a ride.” I wrench myself out of his arms.

“Baby Doll.” Leo’s face is full of concern.

“I’m fine,” I say, telling the biggest lie in my twenty-four-year history.

“My love, let me fix your clothes.”

Looking down, I see my joggers are on backward and my shirt is inside out. “I got it. Need my phone.”

Leo plucks it off the counter and hands it to me. My legs are concrete as I slog my way to his room and pack my bag. I scan the room and the wrecked bed, committing everything that happened in here to memory.

Leo watches me from the doorway, and I can tell he doesn’t know how to handle this.

But I do.

I do the only thing that makes sense.

I kiss Leo goodbye.

“I love you. We’re going to be okay,” he states firmly.

“I love you.” I choke on the words and don’t look back.

Leo

I’m helpless as Caleb leaves. It’s irrational to insist he stay and talk this out. He’s a professional hockey player, and that comes first. I know this. I lived it. But Caleb’s kiss haunts me more than Mason’s anger scares me.

My son has the right to be angry. We fell in love behind his back, not trusting him with the truth. We can’t fix this in a day or a conversation. It might take a professional therapist to sort through it, but once he understands we’re in love and not fucking… I have to believe I won’t lose my son.

Dread sinks in my bones, weighing me down, and I stagger to the couch. Losing Caleb is unacceptable. I’ve met hundreds of thousands of people throughout my life, and no one compares to Caleb. We connect and fit in a way I never dreamed possible.

But the expression on his face when he left was not of a man willing to fight for our relationship. I’ll have to fight for the two of us.

The buzzer rings, and I leap over the back of the couch. The grocery delivery arrives with all the food I ordered for Caleb—no processed sugar and organic.

Caleb

On the long and frigid walk home, the only thing that keeps me from curling up in a doorway to die is the headlines my parents wouldn’t be able to explain. Pro Hockey Player Dies of Hypothermia Like a Homeless Person. From the Ice Rink to an Ice Cube. Benz Went Off the Bend.

When I call Coach, he hears my thick snot and hoarse voice. He tells me to rest and isolate for twenty-four hours to ensure I don’t infect any of the team, which includes tomorrow’s practice.

It makes the plan I came up with so much easier.

As predicted, Mason’s gone by the time my numb legs enter our apartment. I never thought my friendship with Mason would end. Maybe someday we’ll work it out, but I won’t force myself on him.

I pull out the ridiculous purple suitcase my mom got me when the Enforcers drafted me.

It’s oversized and not fit for travel, but great for moving.

Checking my hotel app, I find a room with a small kitchen and book it for two weeks.

I debate longer, but our season is so long and who knows what will happen.

My bed calls to me, but if I don’t get out now, I’ll be making things worse later on.

I grab handfuls of clothes and toss them into the purple monstrosity without care: suits, underwear, sweats, and shirts.

My leaving will make it easier for Leo and Mason to work things out.

While I’m waiting for my rideshare, I check my messages.

Leo: I love you

My thumb strokes the words on the screen.

It’s crazy how he can say that to me when all of this is my fault.

My only consolation is that telling Mason sooner would have ended Leo and me, and New Year’s Eve in Vegas means everything.

It’s a memory to last me a lifetime. Leo Griffin told me he loves me.

I close the message and see Mason’s texts.

Mason: Lying to Coach?

Mason: Fucking coward

Mason: You deserve each other

There’s no doubt finding another place to live is the right choice, but I’ll never have another best friend like Mason.