Page 31

Chapter 31

Jahmar

“ Y ou brought me lunch?” I ask, smiling so hard my cheeks ache.

“Please don’t make a big deal out of this. I was already in the city meeting Sage and Cam.”

“Oh hell no, I’m definitely making a big deal out of this. I’ve never had a boyfriend bring me lunch. Very romantic .” I flash my eyebrows. Anders groans in response, cheeks glowing with a beautiful blush.

We’re sat on a bench outside Leeds Hospital, snuggled up close as the chilly autumn air swirls around us. The trees are almost bare, and leaves crunch underneath people’s shoes as they pass by. There’s not a cloud in the sky, and although it’s only ten degrees, the sun warms our faces.

I dig through the brown paper bag, pulling out a Mexican burrito bowl from Trinity Kitchen. I mentioned in passing once that it’s my favourite thing to get from the food court—I’m officially swooning.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” I peck his cheek, and that precious dimple comes out.

“Hang on, what’s this?” I rummage through the carrier bag, pulling out a piece of folded paper.

Anders snatches it from me before I can unfold it. “Nothing, just a receipt.” He balls it up in a tight fist with a coy smile.

“Anders, if it’s just a receipt, you won’t mind showing me then.”

“God, fine. I didn’t expect you to have time to eat with me, so Cam insisted I leave you a note…a love note.” Anders visibly cringes. “You can’t read it now, or I’ll die of embarrassment. Read it when I’m gone, please.”

“Wow, I had no idea you were such a sap.”

He grumbles something under his breath.

I dig into my food, doing a little dance in my seat as I scoff it down.

“I’m not a sap, by the way, it’s you . You’ve turned me into something I loathe,” he eventually pipes up.

“Nah, I always knew you were soft as shit. You were just waiting for the right person to come along.”

“And you think you’re the right person?” He raises a teasing eyebrow at me.

“Well, I must be if you’re bringing me lunch and love notes like a fucking simp.”

Another long groan. Anders hides his face behind his coffee cup, but I see that addictive smile trying to peek through.

We sit in companionable silence as I eat, apart from these cute little sighs of contentment Anders keeps making as he drinks his coffee. He seems happy and it makes my heart swell, thinking that maybe I have something to do with it.

It’s been a few weeks since Leo was taken in for questioning, and things have settled down. He had an alibi, so their trail must have gone cold.

As for Anders’ brother, he conveniently took a job down south, which I’m more than thrilled about. At least now I don’t have to worry about bumping into him. I know Anders is still hurting when it comes to Chris. Disowning your only sibling, who was like a father to you, has to be hard, but he seems set on his decision.

For the first time in years, I feel light. The weight of a truck has been lifted from my chest, and I can finally breathe.

Anders’ hand comes to my thigh, giving it an affectionate squeeze. “You were away with the fairies then. You alright?”

“Never better…I love you, little lion.”

“I love you, too.” Anders beams, then leans in for a chaste kiss.

“Jahmar, are you almost done with lunch? You’re needed inside,” Stacy, a nurse, asks, looking slightly flustered.

“Yeah, sure, everything alright?”

“Erm, I don’t know. There’s a detective here that wants to speak to you. I’m not sure what it’s about.”

Anders’ fingers squeeze into my thigh painfully tight. I place my hand over his to ease his grip.

“Sure, ok. Give me two minutes.”

Stacy gives me a sympathetic smile as if she already knows that all my hopes and dreams are about to be shattered.

I turn to face Anders to find him paler than ever.

“Shit, what am I going to do?”

Anders gnaws at his bottom lip while reaching to clutch both of my hands in his. “Right, listen…tell them you were with me.”

“I can’t do that, I’m not implicating you.”

“Jay, you don’t have a choice. You need an alibi.”

“I can’t. If this backfired and you got arrested, I’d never forgive myself.”

“Please, you have to trust me on this. Tell them you were with me, but don’t be too specific, I’ll figure something out.”

Dread whirlpools in my stomach. Could I really lie to the police and risk Anders’ freedom, too?

“I’m making no promises. Let’s see what they know first. It might not come to that.”

Anders huffs, then drags me in for a deep hug before pulling back with a weak smile. “You better go.”

We stand up and share a tender kiss, then I reluctantly walk off.

“Wait, your note,” Anders calls, lightly jogging after me. He slips the paper into my hand with a squeeze. “Whatever happens in there, just know I’ve got your back, and I mean every word in that note.”

I kiss him once more, pouring every ounce of love I have into that kiss, because for all we know, it could be the last one we’ll ever share.

Watching him walk away goes against every one of my natural instincts. My senses tell me I’m heading straight into danger and away from the safety that’s Anders’ arms.

When we started this slightly toxic thing, I had no idea our connection would run so deep. No idea that I’d be planning forever with this man. Although I’m terrified of the lies I’m about to tell these detectives, I have no choice if I want a future with him.

I can’t put off the inevitable, so I suck in a deep breath of crisp air and mentally prepare myself for what is probably my demise.

Spotting the detective right away, he stands at the front desk with Stacy, looking increasingly pissed off that I kept him waiting. He’s at least six-foot-three, white and has the whole silver fox thing going on. Here goes nothing.

As I approach, Stacy spots me, nodding her head in my direction to announce my arrival to the detective before wandering off. She sends me a nervous smile, confirming this must be bad.

“Hi, I’m Jahmar Walker. You wanted to speak to me.” I put my hand out to greet him, praying he can’t feel the tremor fluttering through it.

“Ah yes, Mr Walker. My name’s Mike Dixon. I’m a detective from the West Yorkshire Police.”

“Nice to meet you. How can I help?”

“Is there anywhere we can go that’s more private?”

Two uniformed officers come through the sliding doors, and the detective nods at them. This is it. They’re here to arrest me. I thought I’d covered my tracks, but evidently not good enough. I’m silent for too long.

“So, can we go somewhere to talk? I have a few questions for you.”

“Sure,” I croak. “We can go to the staff room.”

I lead the way, heart pummeling my ribs. I’m struggling to put one foot in front of the other. My legs feel like all the muscle and fat have been sucked from them, and I could collapse right here on the shiny, vinyl floor.

As we enter the clinical staffroom with its bright lights and plastic chairs, I hover, unsure if I should sit or make a run for it. The rich smell of the coffee pot lends me some comfort. I’m not in handcuffs yet, it’s ok.

“It’s alright, gentlemen; you can wait outside.”

One of the officers nods at the detective.

My stomach clenches at the thought of being in this enclosed space with this man in a position of power. The officers stand at the door, but keep it open, and my shoulders slightly uncurl.

“Please take a seat,” he insists like this is his office, and I’m a guest. His dominating presence is like a thousand tiny needles penetrating my skin. He has me by the balls, and he knows it. The irony.

I pull the chair out, wincing as the metal legs scrape across the floor. He remains standing, which only solidifies his dominance over me. I lace my hands in my lap, squeezing them tightly as a grounding technique.

“What’s this all about?” I somehow manage to ask in a level tone.

I can do this; I can lie to a detective.

“You might be familiar with a case we’ve been working on involving several local hospitals.”

“Erm, I’m not sure. Considering the nature of the things we deal with, the police are always in and out of here.”

He humorously scoffs. “You’re not wrong there. Let me be more specific. Several men have come forward in recent weeks, reporting that they’ve been kidnapped, drugged and operated on. We believe a medical professional has removed their testicles, but you probably knew that.” He says it with a lilt like it’s a punchline to a joke.

Mike’s eyes stay glued to me like he’s reading my facial features for even a minute reaction. I force a flat expression. He said several men, but only one came forward as far as I knew.

“Oh, yes, I heard. Not sure what that has to do with me, though.”

“Well, as you’re aware, we took your colleague Leo in for questioning after we discovered he’d withdrawn unaccounted-for drugs, but it turned out his alibis were solid on the nights of the incidents.”

My hands vibrate in my lap and my shirt collar feels tighter than ever. Swallowing roughly, I wait for him to continue his big spiel.

“So we did some more digging as detectives do.” He scoffs a laugh at himself, and it makes me want to kick him in the balls. “And well, it appears on the nights the drugs were withdrawn, you were on shift at York Hospital.”

He knows.

“I’m sure there were lots of people on shift on those nights," is all I can think to reply.

“This is true… The second victim that came forward said he remembered something very specific about his assailant.” The way that he keeps stopping and starting has my stomach curdling. Get to the fucking point.

“And what did he notice?” I force myself to ask.

More lengthy silence. He wants me to crack, confess it all—over my dead body.

“He said he woke up briefly, and specifically said the person who did this to him was scrubbed up and wearing a mask, but he could see that it was a Black male.”

The man from the first night at Emeralds. I thought he was too out of it to notice me—fuck.

I swallow hard, scrambling for a reply. “That sounds a lot like racial profiling, sir. How can the guy be sure if he was high on drugs?”

“It does, doesn’t it? Or perhaps it’s just facts.”

My eyes pinch, and anger builds in my core. He’s taunting me, waiting for me to slip up.

“Am I under arrest, or is that all?” I go to stand.

He steps into my space, blocking my exit route. “Easy now, we’re still talking.”

I drop back onto the seat with a thunk and cross my arms.

“Where were you on the evening of September twenty-sixth and October twelfth?”

“I don’t know, working or at home.” I give a nonchalant shrug. “I don’t get out much. Being a doctor is pretty demanding.” I shuffle in my seat, straightening my back to display an ounce of courage.

The detective looks down at his notes. “You weren’t working, we’ve checked.” Raising his head again, he asks, “So you were at home?”

“Sure,” I say.

“Home alone?”

I hesitate for a moment, debating if I want to involve Anders. He said to trust him, though. “I was with my boyfriend.”

His eyes pinch together, suspicion radiates off him. “What’s your boyfriend’s name, and where can we find him?”

Shit.

“His name is Anders Erikson. You’ll find him at Emeralds Apartments.”

Mike hums, tapping his pen on the small pad. “Ah, that’s where you live, right? Do you live together?”

“Basically, he’s with me most nights. He works there.”

If we somehow manage to get out of this mess, that’s what I want. Anders in my home, taking up my space and with me always.

The detective’s eyebrows furrow as he strokes his beard. Several moments of insufferable silence have me holding my breath.

“Ok, well, I’ll contact him shortly. Let’s hope your stories match up.”

“Am I free to go?”

His fierce stare is like a flame thrower, blistering my skin. “Of course.” He steps aside and puts out a hand, presenting the exit.

I climb to my feet on shaky limbs and dodge past him, only to be halted by the officers at the door. One looks me up and down like I’m covered in piss and shit.

“Oh, Mr Walker.”

I refuse to turn around and face him, already knowing I don’t want to hear what he has to say. “I hope you don’t mind; my colleagues are going to hang around for the rest of your shift. Just in case anyone else comes in to report anything.”

Great. I have babysitters while they try to collaborate our stories. How the fuck am I going to call and warn Anders now.

I huff in annoyance, pushing past the officers at the door and heading straight for the front desk. Once I get there, I release a pent-up breath and dig in my trouser pocket for the note. I unravel the wrinkled paper, looking over my shoulder to see the officers and detectives speaking in hushed voices by the main doors.

I don’t do romance or love notes, and I certainly don’t go out of my way to drop off lunch to my boyfriend. Well…I didn’t before you. Part of me resents you for what you’ve made me become. I’m needy, sensitive and crazy in love. You consume every single one of my thoughts, even when we’re apart. God, I wanted to not like you, but that wasn’t an option; we were written in the stars. I love you, Jay, and if you let me, I’ll keep loving you until we’re old, grey, and have wrinkly balls lol.

P.S. You better burn this note after you’ve read it.

Love, Anders xo

I chuckle at his sweet and slightly chaotic words. I could never burn it—I’m framing the thing.