Page 19 of Peep

Chapter 19

Anders

I think I might have a boyfriend. Because guys that you’re just fucking don’t help you pick out flowers and come to the hospital with you to visit your friend’s little sister.

Boyfriend. It’s such a simple word, yet the thought of letting it roll off my tongue in relation to Jahmar makes my stomach flip and my cheeks tingle. I’m equal parts ecstatic and terrified by the concept of being his and only his.

We’ve not had ‘the talk’, but I’ve woken up entwined in his muscular arms over the past few days, so I’d say we’re going steady.

Considering how much he used to irk me, being in his presence is almost calming now. I can’t even pretend to be annoyed at him anymore because he’ll say some dumb or sweet shit that has me grinning from ear to ear. It’s actually very disgusting.

“Why are we in this wing? You said Sage’s little sister was in recovery. Shouldn’t she be in the children’s ward?”

Jahmar pauses at the double doors, pulling his hand away from mine and coming to a standstill. Cool air rushes around my now empty hand, making me feel uneasy.

I force myself to brush off the subtle rejection. “Oh, no. Delia recently turned nineteen. We call her little, but she’s actually an adult.” I huff a laugh. “She’s been in and out of hospital for most of her life dealing with cystic fibrosis, so she didn’t really have a normal childhood. I guess we’ve always kind of babied her.”

Jahmar pushes the bouquet of flowers at my chest; I scramble to catch them. He shoves his hands deep into his jeans pockets.

“I erm, I need coffee. Isn’t there a Starbucks around the corner? I’ll get us some.”

“What?” I ask, fumbling with the flowers and frog plushie I brought for Sage’s sister.

So much for my boyfriend-who’s-not-actually-my-boyfriend being all cute and coming with me. The centre of my chest aches, and my cheeks droop in disappointment.

“We can get coffee after. It won’t take long. Please come.” My pleading tone makes me internally cringe.

I’ve not seen my friends since they came for a swim, and I want to show off my new man. Fucking pathetic really.

Jahmar stares at a long scuff on the floor, dragging the front of his trainer along the embedded line.

“Jay,” I snap.

His eyes ping up, and he bites his lip like he’s trying to stop a confession from tumbling out.

“What?” he bites back. “Just go see your friends, alright? I’ll meet you back at the car.”

My insecurities prod at me like a devil with a pitchfork. Stabbing away until they break the skin. Fuck, does he work here sometimes and have a secret hot nurse boyfriend tucked away? My stomach feels like it’s about to fall out my arse, and fury heats my face. This is why I don’t fucking date. My heart’s too feeble. When your own fucking father doesn’t even want you, it almost always results in a hearty dose of abandonment issues.

“Do you locum here?” I demand to know, squeezing the stems of the flowers so hard one snaps.

“No, why are you asking?”

“That’s weird. Why wouldn’t you locum at the hospital in the city you live in? Why bother driving all over the north when you could work here?”

“Jesus, Anders, you sound like my fucking mother. I used to work here, but I didn’t like the management. Now, go and see your friends. I don’t see what the big deal is.”

I’ve never seen Jahmar pissed off, and I don’t like it. Guilt floods me. I’m acting like a fucking psycho, demanding he come visit my friends and asking questions he clearly doesn’t want to answer.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I’m being an insecure bitch. I was excited for you to meet my best friends, and I got paranoid that you have a secret sexy nurse boyfriend.”

Jahmar chuckles, pulls his hands from his pockets, and grips my hips like an anchor, stopping me from floating away in a jealous rage.

“No, little lion. No secret boyfriends. Just you… only you .”

Well, I’ll be damned. I went from a possessive loser to a swoony puddle of goo in a matter of seconds. It scares me how much he knows how to handle me.

“There it is.” Jahmar smirks, eyes trained on my dimple.

Leaning forward, he lightly kisses it, then trails kisses along my chin until he latches onto my flushed neck.

“Jay, stop. We’re in a hospital. People are legit dying in the next room.”

He pretends to eat me, making me squirm, then plants a loud kiss on my dimple before stepping back. All previous tension erased from his striking face.

“Fine, but I really do need coffee. What do you want?”

“Pumpkin spice latte, please.”

Jahmar shakes his head. “Should’ve known you’re a basic bitch.”

“Oi,” I whine, bopping him on the head with the flowers. There’ll be nothing left of them at this rate.

He pulls me to him, stealing a chaste kiss.

“Go on, get out of here. I’ll see you in a bit.”

I reluctantly turn away, dragging my arse down the long corridor to find the others. I’m slightly embarrassed, thinking about how dramatic I’ve been, but I think he’s used to it by now. I’m not easy to love. Although, if anyone is up for the challenge, I think it might be Jay.

“I love it! Thanks, Anders.” Delia beams, placing a kiss on the frog’s head.

“You’re welcome.”

“You did remember to feed Sir Brussel Sprout?” Delia’s head spins to ask her sib.

Sage’s eyes roll. “Yes, I remembered to feed your slimy fucking vermin.”

The arm Cameron has slung across Sage’s shoulder comes up to tug their ear. Sage groans and tries to shuffle out of his grasp, but he’s having none of it.

I notice that Cameron and Sage seem to have some part of their bodies touching at all times these days.

“You’re supposed to be nice; your sister’s recovering from life-threatening surgery,” Cameron scolds with a sly grin.

“And don’t we all know it? It’s just a little lung transplant. Honestly, I think she’s doing it for attention at this point.”

Delia fake gasps. I’ve always admired their relationship. They somehow manage to find humour in something so dark.

“By the way, frogs are amphibians, not vermin, you arse,” Delia says, flinging the frog in Sage’s direction, but luckily they catch it.

Cameron releases Sage and shuffles to the big armchair by the side of the bed, flopping into it with zero grace.

“That’s fine, we’ll all just stand. You make yourself comfortable,” Sage complains.

Cameron pats his thighs with a seductive smirk. “There’s a perfectly good seat right here.”

Jesus Christ, even I can admit that was hot.

Sage, seemingly unaffected by his charm, releases a dramatic sigh before making their way over, sitting across his lap and mumbling something in his ear.

“Anders,” Delia whispers, waving me closer. “This is fucking weird, right, these two?”

“It’s unsettling. It’s either going to be the most beautiful thing we’ve ever seen, or we’re all gonna suffer when it goes to shit.”

“Oi, you two. Stop gossiping,” Cameron shouts, making Sage wince. I swear this guy doesn’t have an inside voice.

“We were not.” Delia flutters her eyelashes.

“Talking of gossip,” Cameron announces. “Where’s your hot doctor? You said he was going to be with you?”

“Oh, he, erm, couldn’t come, had to work. I think,” I stammer through the lie. I’m not quite sure why I’m lying, but something was off earlier. Maybe he really does have beef with the management here, or perhaps he doesn’t want to meet my friends yet. Either way, I’m not admitting that to them.

“Ah, ok, that’s a shame. Tell us about him, though?” Cameron asks.

All eyes turn on me, causing my cheeks to flame.

“What do you want to know?” I shrug then start playing with the zip on my jacket to keep my hands busy.

“Is he a bottom?”

Sage slams their hand over Cameron’s mouth. “My little sister is right here!”

“Sage, get a grip. I know what a bottom is. I think I might be one, or is it a pillow princess? I’m not too sure.”

“What? You, no, when, how?” Sage splutters, removing their hand from Cameron’s face.

“You really want to know?” Delia raises an eyebrow with a smug smile.

“I dunno, maybe.” Their face scrunches up in disgust, and Cameron and I chuckle.

It’s nice to have the heat off me.

“Well, there’s not much to tell. You know Sara, the cute blonde in the next room?” We all gasp in sync, eyes bugging out.

The sneaky little minx.

“Well, we figured we ought to do the deed in case one of us died during surgery. Would be a crying shame to die a virgin.”

“You did it here, in the hospital?” Sage asks, looking completely horrified.

“Yes, right here, actually.” She taps the mattress with the filthiest grin.

“Get it, girl.” Cameron leans over to fist-bump her.

“Congrats, I guess,” I add, because apparently that’s what you say when people get laid.

Sage rubs their temple like they have a migraine.

“How was it? Did she manage to get you off, or was it more of an awkward fumble?” Cameron inappropriately asks.

“Oh, you bet, it was really—”

“La, la, la, la, la, not listening.” Sage plugs their ears.

The whole room breaks into laughter. Well, apart from Sage, they’re traumatised.

Cameron wrestles with Sage to remove their hands. “Don’t be such a prude. We both know how filth—”

Sage playfully grabs Cameron by the throat. “I swear to god, if you finish that sentence, I’ll put on my highest heels and take a hike on your balls.”

Cameron noticeably shivers. “Sounds like fun,” he replies with a wink.

“Bloody hell, I thought hospitals were supposed to be the least sexy places in the world. It’s like you’re all in heat,” I joke.

“What on earth am I interrupting?” My brother says, casually strolling in.

“You do not want to know,” Sage mumbles.

“Well, actually, we were talking about sex. Dirty, filthy, high heel wearing, ball crushing, sex,” Delia says while repositioning herself on the bed, wincing in pain.

“Hey, be careful, you. No moving unassisted.” Chris rounds the bed, helping her get comfortable.

“How are you feeling?” My brother asks, expression soft and warm as always.

“Great, I’d be better if Anders finished telling us about his new doctor boyfriend.”

Chris’ head snaps up, and he flashes a wide smile. “New boyfriend, ay? And a doctor? Seems like we need to catch up, little brother.”

“You’re such a little shit.” I playfully glare at Delia, but she waves me off.

“Tell us about him?” Chris asks as he tends to Delia, checking her vitals and dressing.

“Fine, he’s called Jay. I met him at work. He rents one of the apartments at Emeralds.”

“Nice, where does he work?”

“All over the North, actually. He’s doing some locum work at the moment.”

“Great, well, if he’s a doctor, I bet he’s intelligent and handsome. Doctors usually are.” My big brother flashes his eyebrows at me.

“You’re not wrong,” Cameron says, biting his lip and shamelessly checking Chris out.

Sage jumps off his lap, huffing and puffing with their arms crossed.

The room bursts into laughter, and Sage dramatically storms out; they’ll be back.

“I’d love to meet him. You should bring him to dinner next week.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

Butterflies dance in my stomach. It’s been so long since I’ve spoken about someone I’m dating with my friends and family. I’m disgustingly giddy, but I know I need to keep these feelings under wraps. What Jahmar and I have is complicated. We’re caught up in some crazy shit right now. It might be best to wait until it settles down before introducing him to everyone.

My phone beeps, and I quickly pull it out to check.

Jay

I may have taste-tested your pumpkin spice latte. I wanted to see what all the hype was about, and well, now it’s all gone. So, I’m heading back to Starbucks. Can you meet me there instead? I’ll buy you a cake. :D

“Oooh, look at that smile,” Delia teases. “Must be his man.”

I roll my eyes. “That’s my cue to leave.”

Leaning down to awkwardly hug Delia, she aggressively slaps me on the back. When did she get too cool for real hugs?

I say my goodbyes to the others, not hugging them, of course, because that’s not the kind of friends we are. Elbow jabs and noogies are more our thing.

When we step outside and reach the ward door, Chris breaks the silence. “You’re beaming, Anders.”

I feel my cheeks pinken, and I can’t suppress the pathetic smile spreading across my face. “Am I?”

“Yes, you are. I’m happy for you. You deserve it. I know you struggle to let people in. Trust me, I’ve had the same issues. You never quite get over being abandoned before you can even talk.”

“Chris,” I murmur, feeling water gather in the corner of my eyes.

“No, shh for a second.” He places a hand on my shoulder before continuing. “Look, I know I’m not a consolation prize for a dad, but honestly, I don’t care if I never have my own kids because raising you alongside Mum was my biggest achievement.”

“Shit, Chris. You’re gonna make me cry.” I swallow the lump in my throat and focus on not breaking down. How on earth did I get so lucky?

“I’m sorry, I just had to say.”

I throw myself into my brother’s arms, not caring what anyone working here thinks. He chuckles and soothingly rubs my back. We pull apart and take each other in for a moment. There’s not much more to be said. We both know how much we mean to each other.

“Now, piss off. Go get drunk or do whatever it is twenty-eight-year-olds do these days. I have to get back to work before someone goes into cardiac arrest.”

I laugh, swiping away a tear that managed to escape.

“Fine, I’m leaving…I erm, love you, Chris.”

The look on his face tells me I made his day.

“I love you, too, bud.”