Page 26

Lizzie—

Two days later, the first flakes of snow start falling just after we arrive at the shop.

Darko is working on the special car he promised the owner would be finished by Christmas. It’s a big job for a lot of money, and he has to get it done on time.

He and Rob work most of the morning on it with barely a break. Rob is going home to Montana for Christmas, and he has a flight out in the afternoon.

At noon, Rob stops in my doorway. “I’m heading out, Lizzie. Have a merry Christmas.”

“Have a good Christmas with your family. Is your flight delayed because of the weather?”

“I’m hoping I get out before it gets bad.”

“Be safe.”

With a wave, he’s gone, and then it’s just the Darko and me.

I make a fresh pot of coffee and move to the alley windows to watch the snow fall. Right now, it’s gentle with big fat flakes slowly floating down, but the weather reports say the wind is supposed to pick up and the storm will intensify.

Right now, though, it's beautiful. Magical, really. It’s like a Dicken’s Christmas scene. I cup my mug in my hands, letting the warmth seep into my palms and take a sip, enjoying the moment.

Movement to the left draws my attention, and I spot my little raccoon friend. I’ve been putting cat food out each morning in a silver pie tin, and he’s been visiting. I hope he has a warm place to hole up for the coming weather.

I feel a presence at my back, and Darko’s hands close over my upper arms. He presses a kiss to the crown of my head.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine. Just watching the snow. It’s so pretty.”

“Yeah, it is.”

I twist to meet his eyes with a teasing smile. “What, no comment about how it’s going to suck to shovel?”

“I don’t want to ruin the thing you love. You’re right. It is pretty. I can learn to appreciate it.”

“You’ve never liked snow?”

“I ride a motorcycle, and snow keeps me off my bike. So, no, not a big fan.”

“You live in the wrong state then,” I tease.

“Probably, but Rock and the club are here, so here I stay.”

“Have you heard any more about how Maisy Rydell is doing?”

“Nah. But I can make a call.” He pulls his phone out of his pocket and calls Rock, putting it on speaker.

I continue watching the snow and sipping my coffee.

“How’s the old lady and the kid?” Darko asks.

“She’s being taken care of. I sent over our new cleaning lady to keep her company and help out.”

“Good thinking.”

“Doc’s doing what he can. He’s making arrangements for her to get on a genetic trial or some shit. I didn’t understand it, but if she’s accepted, it’ll all be paid for.”

“That’s great.”

“You been watching the news?” Rock asks.

“Not really. Got a deadline on this car I’m working on. Busting my ass to get it done. Why? You worried about the storm comin’?”

“That and something else. Those robberies I told you about before, they hit a restaurant and two more convenience stores. They’re in and out quick. Keep your guard up.”

“Will do. You at the clubhouse?”

“Yeah.”

“You headin’ home?”

“Nah. Gonna have Evelyn and Rachel come down here. Don’t want them stuck up on the ridge if this gets bad. The clubhouse is closer to the highway.”

“Good thinking.”

“The nomads are here, and Night Train and his dog. Critter and Woody and the prospects. Plus, Rita’s here cookin’ chili, so everybody’s happy.”

Darko grins. “Okay, then. Gotta get back to this car.”

“Check in later.”

“Will do.” Darko disconnects and shoves his phone in his pocket.

“You want a coffee?” I ask.

“Nah, I’m good.” He moves to the car, and I return to my office.

I’m on the computer for the rest of the afternoon, and don’t really look up until it starts to get dark.

Checking the time, I shut it off and walk out to check the weather. A snow plow rumbles down the side street, but it looks like they’re having trouble keeping up with the amount of snow that’s falling. The wind is whipping now, and it looks like a blizzard out there.

I hug my arms, feeling a chill through the glass. Turning back, I move into the garage.

Darko is under the car, his legs sticking out.

I feel warmth to my right and swing to look at the source. A space heater is plugged into the wall, glowing orange beyond the wire mesh.

Something sweeps through my body, red hot anger overwhelming me and propelling me to action. I stalk to the wall and yank the cord out of the socket, then drag the entire contraption to the back door and pitch it in the snowy alley. But that’s not good enough for me. I stalk back inside, grab a hammer off Darko’s rolling tool chest, and pound on the thing until suddenly my wrist is grabbed in Darko’s fist.

“Quit,” he snaps.

I try to yank free, but he grabs me from behind in a bear hug and hauls be inside.

“Calm the fuck down.” His voice is sharp and harsh. He yanks the hammer out of my hand and flings it across the concrete floor. “What the hell is the matter with you?”

I burst into tears and cover my face, my shoulders shaking.

Darko wraps his arms around me until the worst of it passes. How will I ever explain it?

He strokes my back and presses his cheek against the side of my head. “Shh. Shh,” he murmurs until my heart stops pounding and my breathing slows.

“I’m sorry,” I finally whisper.

“What happened? Why did you destroy my space heater?”

“They’re not safe.”

He’s quiet, and I know he deserves a better explanation.

“Something happen with a space heater at your house?” he finally asks.

I shake my head. “The fire that killed Matt… it was started by a space heater.” I watch his eyes slide shut.

“Shit. I’m sorry, Lizzie. I didn’t know.”

“I overreacted,” I whisper.

He looks out the open door, then moves me aside, looking at the sky. “Maybe we better close up.”

“You need to look out front.”

He frowns and moves past me, going to that side of the building. I follow, and we both stare out at the blizzard and deep snow. His truck is almost covered.

“Fuck. It’ll take me hours to dig out.” He swings around and flicks on the flat screen in the waiting area, putting on the news. A weather man stands in front of a radar map.

“Folks, stay inside and wait this one out. It’s going to snow all through the night and all day tomorrow. This is a massive storm, and the temperature is only going to drop through the night.”

“Goddamn it. I should have checked the weather sooner.”

“Maybe we can walk to your house,” I whisper.

“It’s too far in this blizzard. You’d freeze before we got halfway there.”

“So, we’re stuck here?”

“Guess so. I think it's best we ride it out. I’m sure the plows will have us out by morning.”

“But I can’t stay here. I’m supposed to go to Beverly’s for dinner. I promised her.”

“So, you go another night.”

“I can’t go another night.”

“Why not?” Darko asks, frowning, and I hate to tell him.

“I just… I promised her.”

“I’m sure she’ll understand.” He sees my expression and tilts his head. “What was the dinner about?”

I shove my hands in my jeans pockets. “It’s Matt’s birthday.”

“Oh.” He glances to the road. “Where does she live?”

“The other side of town.”

“Babe, even if I get us out of here, and maybe to Main Street, I’m not sure we’d be able to make it all the way across town. I’m sorry, Lizzie. There’s nothing we can do about it. We’re stuck.” He studies my body language and the way I’m rubbing my arms.

“I can’t just stay here.”

“No use stressing about it, sweetheart.”

I blow out a breath. He’s right. I know he’s right, but it’s just another thing I’m missing. First, I blew off the plaque ceremony at the fire station. Now I’ll miss Matt’s birthday. Beverly will never understand.

I rub my arms again. The temperature is dropping in the garage without that extra heat source. “I’m sorry I destroyed your space heater.”

His mouth tugs up at the corner. “You sure did a job on it. Guess I’ll have to see if I can get a fire going in the old potbelly stove.” He motions to the corner, a pile of old wood stacked behind it. “Haven’t used it in a couple years, but it heats pretty well.”

He moves to it and opens the door, then shoves some wood inside and some wadded up papers.

It’s not long before he gets a good fire going, and it throws a surprising amount of heat.

Darko goes into a back closet and pulls out two old folding loungers—the kind you sunbathe on with no armrests—and sets them in front of the fire.

“Had these from when we went up to the lake years ago.”

“Got any blankets?” I joke, but he thinks a minute and goes to the coat hooks on the wall and brings back both our coats, covers me with his sherpa coat and mine. I’m soon snuggly warm.

“You good?”

“Yes, but what about you?”

“I’ve got a thermal on under this t-shirt. I’m fine.” He takes the other seat.

“Will you finish the car on time?” I ask.

“I don’t know. I hope so. It’s giving me way more trouble than I thought it would.” He studies me, then checks his watch. “Did you need to call Bev?”

“Yeah.” I’m dreading it, but I pull my phone out and call her.

“Lizzie. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“The storm is so bad. You can’t come, can you?”

“I’m stuck at work.”

“Oh, no. You’re stuck with that biker? Maybe I can get someone to come get you.”

“I’m fine, Beverly.”

She huffs. “Well, I’m sure you are. I’ve got to go.”

She disconnects abruptly, and I stare at my phone. “I think you’re right,” I whisper, my eyes connecting with Darko.

“About what?”

“About her needing me to stay sad. I don’t think she wants me to move on.”

“I’m sure she doesn’t realize she’s doing it,” he murmurs, but I think he’s being kind. I think maybe she does know but doesn’t care how it affects me.

I stare at the fire crackling in the potbelly stove, feeling remorse for no reason at all when suddenly the power goes out.

“Shit,” Darko murmurs, standing and striding toward the front lobby to check the street. I follow.

The blizzard is still raging with the snow blowing sideways.

“Looks like all the lights are out up and down the block,” he says.

“Thank God we’ve got that stove, or we’d have no heat at all. How long do you think it’ll be out?”

“Hard to say. If ice brought down some power lines, it could be a long time before they get someone out in this storm. They may not even be able to get through until tomorrow.” He pulls his phone out and makes a call. “Hey, Rock. You got power at the clubhouse?”

“Yeah, why?”

“We just lost it at the shop.”

“Want me to try to get to you?”

“Nah. We’ve got the wood-burning stove. We’ll be fine until tomorrow.”

“Better conserve your phone battery for emergencies. Check in with me in the morning.”

“I will. Talk to you then.” He disconnects.

We return to the fire, and Darko adds some more wood.

I glance at the meager pile, and he follows my eyes. “Wood’s only gonna last a few more hours.”

“Then what? Can you burn my desk?”

“Nah. It’s got toxic chemicals like varnish. Wouldn’t be safe. I may have to try to dig out the truck.” He disappears around the other side of the shop and returns a few moments later, holding a bottle of whiskey and a couple of paper cups. He pours us a shot and lifts his to click to mine. “Here’s to the adventure.”

I can’t help chuckling. “Never a dull moment around here.”

We both drink.

“Have you heard from Eli?” I ask.

“Yeah. He sounded happy. He was spending time with his old friends. Wanted to know if they could come visit. Of course, I said yes.”

“I bet he’d love that.”

“Yeah.”

I notice Darko stares, lost in thought, and I tilt my head. “Are you worried he won’t want to stay when the six months are up?”

Darko turns to meet my eyes. “Terrified.”

I touch his arm. “I don’t think you have to worry.”

“Really? Why do you say that?”

“He likes that cheerleader, and he seems happy at school. Not to mention the scenery around here. That’s got to beat Nebraska, right?”

“I guess. But what if this cheerleader blows him off and breaks his damn heart?”

“He’s a good-looking guy, like his dad. There are probably a bunch of girls at his school who want to go out with him.”

Darko tilts his head. “You think I’m good-looking, huh?”

I roll my eyes. “Don’t go fishing for more compliments.”

“I’m not. But I didn’t know I was your type.”

“First of all, I don’t know that I have a type. Secondly, I said you were good-looking. I didn’t say you were my type.”

“Same thing.”

“Not sure it is.”

“If I see a beautiful woman, she’s my type.”

“Liar.”

“How so?”

“If that beautiful woman was high maintenance or a drunk?”

“I see your point.” He grins. “For the record, I find you attractive.”

“Do you, now?”

“Yup. But I think I already proved that when I kissed you.”

I smile and look away.

“Can I ask you something?” he says softly.

“Sure.”

“It’s personal.”

“Okay.”

“Has there been anyone since Matt?”

“You mean sexually?”

“Yeah.”

“I think I’ll need a refill before we talk sex.” I hold my cup out, and he pours me another shot. I feel his eyes on me and take a deep breath. “I’ve had exactly two one-night stands. One was some bartender in some dive. I sat at the bar and did three shots of tequila before he cut me off and then leaned on the bar and talked with me. The second was the guy who did my tattoo. He asked about it, and we got to talking. Neither of them meant anything. I just wanted to dull the pain for a while, you know?”

He nods. “I get that.”

“I’ve heard grief is definitely a time when impulses may not be trustworthy. I felt so guilty afterward.”

“You’re a living, breathing woman. You want human contact. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I suppose. My brain gets that. It’s my heart that doesn’t agree.”

“So, Main Ink. Is that where you got your tattoo?”

“Yeah.”

“You seemed a little rattled when we walked past it.”

“I suppose I was. And then when you kissed me, I really was rattled.”

“I’m not sorry I kissed you, Lizzie. Hell, I’d like nothing more than to pull you on my lap right now and kiss you again.”

“Gee, if we only had a bed,” I tease.

“Don’t tempt me, woman. That car has a backseat, but that will blow your go-slow plan all to hell.”

I laugh, and it feels good. How is he always able to get me grinning or laughing?

I realize my ideas of how I want the rest of my life to look are changing, and the image of the man I want beside me is changing, too. Where once I longed for security and stability, I now realize there’s no such thing. Everything can be taken away in the blink of an eye. Perhaps what I crave most is to live every single day to the fullest. To take risks, to chase happiness with both hands, and not care what anyone thinks.

I study Darko. I feel so comfortable with him, and just being around him makes me happy. How can that be possible? He’s so much the opposite of Matt. And like he explicitly told me, he is not Matt and he will never be Matt. But maybe what I need is not a man just like Matt. Maybe what I need is a man completely opposite of him.