Page 65
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
DAYNA
L uke told me about Dean moving, and I felt…nothing. Just this quiet, unexpected relief. After years of twisting myself into knots wondering what I did wrong–I finally understand. It was never me. It was always him.
And now? I don’t carry that weight anymore. At this point, I only hope the best for that baby boy. Because every child deserves more than what I had with his father–unconditional love. His last day was two days ago and no one really noticed he left. That alone says enough.
Meanwhile, in the only part of life that truly matters…Sadie bounced back from strep faster than we expected—fever gone, energy fully restored, and Trixie made quite the recovery too, thanks to plenty of cuddles and matching band-aids.
Me, on the other hand? I was down for a few days.
I told Luke to keep his distance–he didn’t listen.
He took care of me without question, without hesitation.
It was strange at first, letting someone care for me when I was the one used to doing it myself.
But somewhere between the tea and Tylenol, I finally let myself rest.
Now that strep is behind us–Cara and the Grants are coming over for a playdate and Luke’s been on a mission to fix every squeaky hinge and loose handle in the house.
Sadie’s fluffed every stuffy she owns and made sure her pink Bronco is charged and ready.
I stocked up on snacks and juices, and her best friend Grace will be joining too.
Those three are inseparable—pure chaos in glitter and giggles. I’m ready to hear it all day long.
Sadie’s eyes light up when the doorbell rings. Luke’s wearing his black-framed glasses, relaxed in jeans and a flannel, buttoned just enough to show the edge of his white undershirt. He’s got a backwards baseball hat on, looking unfairly good for someone who just fixed a leaky faucet an hour ago.
And if getting pregnant were as easy as looking at him, I’d be carrying twins by now–triplets, even. But biology doesn’t care how much we want it or how deeply we love each other. If it worked that way–we’d already have a fourth heartbeat in this home.
For now, I tuck the ache into the quiet place I save for hope. The kind of hope that doesn’t scream, but whispers, maybe soon.
Reaching the front door, Sadie tugs on Luke’s flannel shirt. “Can I open the door, Daddy?” Luke takes a peek through the window and waves, “Sure, Sadie Girl, go ahead.”
She turns the doorknob with both hands and pulls the door open, giggling at how hard she swung it. “Gracie! You’re here!” Grace smiles shyly at first but her smile is wide. I meet everyone at the foyer, waving to Grace and her dad.
Luke motions for them to come in, taking a step to the side as Sadie has her hands over her mouth trying to control her laughs.
Her purple sweater glitters in the light every time she shakes her shoulders with laughter.
She’s like our tiny disco ball, twinkling every time she moves.
She is so excited to have friends over. It’s so refreshing to see her happy.
“Hi there–I’m Sadie’s dad, Luke Beckett, and this is my girlfriend, Dayna Evans.
I’m sure you’ve met before.” Luke says as he shakes his hand.
“Hey Luke, I’m Jeremy. Hi Dayna, nice to see you again, thank you both for having my daughter over.
What time should I pick her up?” He says with his eyes bouncing between us.
“It’s our pleasure, considering they’re giggling already, I’ll say whenever you want to stop by. Or when she’s ready, we can give you a call.” Luke says casually.
“Alright, I’ll check in on her later.” Jeremy turns to Grace, who’s already fully engaged in whatever she and Sadie are whispering about.
“Be good for the Becketts, Gracie, I’ll pick you up in a couple of hours, I love you.
” He leans down and kisses her temple. “Bye, Daddy, love you too!” The two girls giggle as they run upstairs to Sadie’s room.
Jeremy takes one more glance towards the stairs where Sadie and Grace disappeared to. “I’m sure I’ll be able to hear them laughing and screaming from my house a few blocks down.” He says as he walks out the door. Luke closes it gently and turns to me.
“I am so glad they finally get to hang out together. It’s gonna be fun seeing her play with her friends and be a kid without the heaviness of life.” Luke says just before the doorbell rings again.
“WE’LL GET IT!” As both girls scream with joy running down the stairs.
“Sadie, Grace, be careful!” I say as they zoom past me.
“Please, please, can we answer it? It’s Kelsey!
We saw her from my window!” Sadie is jumping up and down with her hands clasped together underneath her chin and Grace is doing the same.
“Go on, you two.” I say smiling. Luke shrugs his shoulders.
“Kelsey! Come on, let’s go to my room.” Sadie tugs Kelsey along with her and Grace follows. “Hi Luke! Hi Dayna!” Kelsey calls out with a wave over her shoulder. “My dad–” She trails off, already losing interest in explaining where her parents are.
With the front door still wide open after a whirlwind of pink and purple, Caleb and Megan walk in holding drinks for the adults. We may outnumber them but girls have the energy of a hockey team.
“Oh Dayna, it’s good to see you, and Luke, did you get a haircut?” Megan says giving us both a hug. “No, I didn’t brush it today.” Caleb laughs as they hug it out. “Megan wants me to grow a beard. ‘Grow one out like Luke’s, it’ll look good on you,’ she says.”
“If it holds any weight to it, I’d have to agree, beards are pretty good looking.” I whisper to Megan. We both burst out laughing. “Where’s Cara?” Caleb asks as we walk to the kitchen island.
“She’s out picking up ice cream for the girls. Not sure that’s a good idea,” Luke says, eyes the chaos. “They’ve got enough energy to power the whole town.”
Cara has walked in mid-performance–right into a very passionate karaoke rendition of Pink Pony Club sung by all three girls, each dressed in solid-colored dresses courtesy of Sadie. Even Trixie has a purple boa wrapped around her neck with tiny sunglasses on. It’s a full production.
Caleb and Luke are cheering like they’re at a concert, belting out the lyrics right along with them. Cara drops the ice cream bag on the counter and immediately starts waving her arms above her head, side to side, fully committed to the vibe.
Megan and I are on the sofa, phone flashlights held high like proud stage moms at a sold-out show.
Wanting to savor this moment, I snap a photo of the scene before me.
I zoom in on Sadie and send a close-up to the family chat.
This is a moment they wouldn’t want to miss.
Sadie being the northern star in all of our lives.
I hit send and fall back into the rhythm of the beat.
Not a second later, Liam is on FaceTime.
Cheering her girl group on and showing his colleagues how awesome his niece is.
“Fuck yeah Girlie! Let’s go!”
Luke immediately snaps his head towards the phone with a playful scowl. The girls end their song with a perfectly well practiced bow and wave to us. “Love you Girlie! Have fun!” Liam shouts even when the music is off.
“Bye Uncle Liam, love you more!”
“Not possible.” Liam waves bye and the screen goes black.
“You girls did amazing!” Megan says, clapping.
Sadie runs up to me, throws her arms around my neck and gives me the best hug.
Sitting on my lap she turns herself around and looks out to her dad.
“Daddy! You did it! See–it’s not scary! You sang with us.
” Luke blushes as he’s put on the spot by Sadie. “I guess you’re right, Sadie Girl. ”
“Who wants a scoop of ice cream?” Cara announces to the superstars in the living room.
“Me!!” Sadie, Kelsey, and Grace answer Cara together.
“I’ll grab the bowls and spoons.” I say as I walk over to the kitchen cabinets. I grab three bowls and three spoons. Luke heads over to the drawer and gets the ice cream scooper out and hands it to Cara.
“Can we have extra sprinkles, please?” Sadie asks Cara sweetly as she hands out scoops of ice cream to each of the girls.
“I got it, Cara.” Shaking the sprinkles onto the scoops of ice cream, I hear Grace say something that makes my world spin in a beautiful whirlwind. “Your parents are the best, Sadie.” Sadie eyes me with her hazel eyes, “Yeah, they really are.” She says with a smile.
“My auntie Cara is pretty cool too.”
“I want Cara to be my teacher when I’m in fifth grade!”
“Me too!”
“Can you be our teacher too?”
“No promises–but I happen to know someone who knows someone.” Cara’s voice is low as they all giggle. Megan hands the girls napkins and Luke ushers them to the dining table, where Trixie is already sitting with her own bowl. Luke winks at me as he fixes Trixie’s sunglasses.
Caleb opens a few beer bottles. While the little girls chatter away at the table. Handing one to Luke, and Cara. He passes one to me and I hesitate. We’ve been trying but so far it’s a string of negative tests. I begin to fidget with my sleeve, unsure what to do.
Cara subtly hip bumps me, getting my attention. I shake my head slightly, not wanting to put a damper on the mood. She reaches for my hand and squeezes. She leans her head on mine. “It’ll be your time soon, I just know it.” Picking her head back up and I smile softly at her.
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