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I can even make a cute smiley face.
I look at him again and feel good inside. What is going on with me? I shake my head and walk out of his room. Why do bad times last longer than good ones?
I walk home, doing my best not to think about tomorrow. There were only cuts today. Who knows what will happen tomorrow?
Kira is lying on her couch when I get home. She is sleeping. I go to her room and get her a blanket, then I cover her with it. Then, just as I’m about to go to my room, I see Kira’s cheeks. There are some tears that have dried. I let out a sigh.
Isn’t it true that everyone is fighting their own battle?
When I wake up the next morning, I have a small headache. I get ready and put on a baby blue blouse and black jeans. I don’t care anymore, so I don’t wear makeup and let my hair down.
I don’t even eat breakfast because I know that after my session with Zeke, I’m most likely to throw up everything. I have to try not to miss class today, though.
I wait for Austin at the library for a while, but he never shows up. I end up doing all the editing for the assignment myself. He might not have seen the note I left.
I send Austin a text asking where he is, but he doesn’t answer. I’m worried because that’s not like him. I hate that this person has this effect on me. Someone I haven’t known for long.
I walk to class like I always do, and Zeke is there waiting for me. As I open the door, my heart beats in an irregular way, as it always does. Zeke’s eyes move to me, and they light up right away. He looks at me in a different way. His blank face turns into an evil grin that makes my blood run cold.
“Lyra, come in.”
I take a shaky breath and walk into the class, shutting the door behind me.
Zeke leaves an hour later, completely happy with me. He… He touched me there. I finally leave the room in tears after a long time. I would usually put things together before leaving that classroom, but I can’t do that now.
I leave the class and go outside. When I see the figure leaning against the door, I can’t breathe. Angry brown eyes stare at me.
Austin stands up straight, and his anger grows with each passing second. He has his hands in fists at his sides and his jaw is hurting. He looks at my face.
My blood turns cold. Austin knows.
Finally, phew.
Austin knows.
Austin knows.
“Did… Did J-Zeke see you?” I manage to say, even though I’m scared to death.
He doesn’t answer, which makes my heart race even faster. I start to shake. His eyes are still full of rage. Did Zeke meet Austin? He will send the video to the whole school if he does. What if he already has?
My vision is blurry and my whole body feels numb.
“No.” His voice is harsh and sounds forced.
“No?” My voice is breathy.
“Not at all.”
I can finally take a deep breath. My heart rate slows down a little, but another thought comes to mind. Austin might not have seen Zeke, but Zeke did see me. Austin saw Zeke do… things to me.
I take some steps back without meaning to. I have to leave. This is making me feel trapped. Then I turn around and walk quickly to my first class instead of the toilet for once. I don’t like having to deal with problems. Especially these kinds. As I walk away, I can feel his piercing eyes on me.
Austin is in all of my first three classes, which is too bad. It doesn’t help at all to feel his eyes on me. I can’t focus all the time. But I’m glad I can stay away from him. I sit in the front of all my classes and leave early, which makes it hard for him to talk to me.
It takes a long time for lunch to get here. I look for Skye again to avoid him. We walk to the cafeteria with her arm around mine. But a very familiar muscular chest in a black shirt is blocking our way.
“I need to talk to you, Lyra,” Austin says in a way that makes me shiver. I can feel Skye getting stiff too.
“I don’t.”
“I didn’t ask.”
“Okay, but she is coming with me,” I say. Skye tries to pull her hand away, but I won’t let her. She won’t leave me alone. Not again.
“It’s about the assignment; we don’t want to bore your friend over there,” he says through gritted teeth. I see that his jaw is tight. A lot of people are looking at us, which makes me even more nervous.
“Go ahead and talk, Lyra,” Skye says in a high-pitched voice and walks away. Leaving me behind.
Again.
Not aware.
Austin grabs my wrist and pulls me out of the school. The people around us move out of the way like in the movies. We go outside and walk towards the old buildings.
I don’t stop him because I know I can’t. He is determined to find out.
He stops right where I got lost on my first day. Where I got stuck in a situation that was kind of like this. I am full of anxiety. I haven’t even been in trouble for a week, and I’ve already gotten into more trouble than I could have imagined.
There is no one here. The old building makes me feel uneasy, and the air is completely still. I feel sick to my stomach. I’m happy I didn’t eat anything. Austin is next to me. I don’t look at his face because I’m afraid to look into his eyes.
He saw Zeke doing… things to me. He saw that I was crying. He saw me fall apart. A thought comes to mind. He didn’t come in today. He didn’t save me this time.
“I can help you, Lyra,” Austin says, and his voice has a tone I can’t place. I don’t know what it is, but it sounds strangely honest. He breathes heavily and hits the wall behind him.
It’s strange that I’m not crying. No, not even one tear.
 
Austin looks at me softly, the kind of look that could melt me from the inside, but right now it doesn’t bother me. He used to make me feel better, but now I feel cold inside. Why didn’t he help me?
“Why didn’t you save me?” I ask, my voice breaking. When he puts his hand on my arm, I shake it off. I understand that it wasn’t his “duty” to save me. He can do whatever he wants. But he was there from the start. Was that just a performance?
“Because I thought the bastard was blackmailing you. I mean, it took all my strength not to strangle him to death, Lyra. I don’t know what he has against you.”
Oh.
I step back a bit. I have to go to class. Austin is messing with my head, and no one can help me get out of this mess. And I can’t afford to miss class. I was never the type of student who missed class. I don’t look at him and then turn around. I walk towards my class.
Skye must be looking for me.
My arm suddenly turns me around. I look him in the eyes.
“Why do you care, Austin? Just tell me. Why?”
“Why? I don’t know. I just do, okay? Seeing you like this is killing me,” he yells. His voice makes me flinch, which is the opposite of what he said. When I flinch, his eyes get softer. He says something quietly and then closes his eyes.
“Please,” he begs. I look at his face, not sure what to do. His hair is messed up and ruffled, which is different from other times. His face is very striking, but his eyes look tired and he has a frown on his face. I wonder if I am the cause of his behaviour.
Most likely not.