Page 88 of Out of Bounds

“I’m sorry,” Alex said with a wounded puppy expression. Cliff doubted he’d ever been called out like this. He was too charming and light to get on people’s bad side.

“I’m sorry, too.” Cliff felt bad for the things he said. He couldn’t blame Alex for being in the closet. The only person keeping him in there was himself.

“I want to see you, but you make it so damn hard, Cliff. You’re like a brick wall. You gave me one- and two-word answers. I never knew how to break through. You’re like Batman, and I’m the Joker. Why so serious? See, even now I’m doing it.”

That earned a smile from Cliff.

“Honestly, I thought you never liked me.” Alex added a laugh at the end, but Cliff knew he was serious.

“That’s not true.”

Alex shrugged. “You barely talk to me, and when you do, you act like you’d rather be anywhere else.”

For the first time, Cliff saw a wounded expression take over his brother’s face. He felt awkward and uncomfortable around his brother, but he could see how to Alex that would come off as cold.

“And maybe...maybe I wanted to give you a hard time about girls and shit because it was the only upper hand I had.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re Dad’s favorite. You’re the basketball star. You two have this special connection and you hijack all family conversations to talk shop. I could become the POTUS, and you’d still be his favorite. So I tried to bring up things where I knew I was better, like being popular. I always thought you were socially awkward, but if I’d known you were struggling with being gay, I wouldn’t have egged you on.”

Cliff saw his brother and his family in a whole new light. Alex felt as much like the outsider in the Warner clan as Cliff.

“I find it a bit much when Dad goes on about basketball, too,” Cliff admitted. He loved basketball, but he wished there were other topics available for conversation with his dad.

“Really?”

“I worry that if I don’t keep winning and making it to the next level, he’s going to…”

“Stop loving you?”

Cliff nodded. He couldn’t say it aloud, but the thought perpetually lingered in his mind. Arthur Warner kept moving the goalposts. First, it was dominate high school basketball, then follow in his Browerton footsteps, and now he had the NBA as the next step for Cliff.

“He won’t,” Alex said with complete confidence. “But see, this is why we need a united front, so on the next call, we don’t let him take over with basketball shit.”

“Deal.” Cliff was already looking forward to it.

Alex plunked down on the coffee table. “I’m sorry I didn’t win your sexual orientation scavenger hunt. Maybe you should’ve tried telling me. I would’ve listened.”

Cliff wished he had a time machine to come out to Alex years ago. As scary as this talk was, it was the first real conversation he’d had with his brother.

“I love you. It’s a good thing I want to talk for a living because I think you fucked up my arm.” Alex rubbed it for added emphasis, a witness playing to the invisible jury.

“My bad.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“I barely touched you.”

“I’m pressing charges.”

Cliff rolled his eyes, grateful for the banter.

“I’m sorry this was so hard for you. And I feel like a piece of shit for putting you in all those awkward situations.”

Cliff shrugged it off. His anger, which was boiling hot a minute ago, had disappeared like a summer thunderstorm. “Speaking of awkward situations, you haven’t told Mom and Dad about Rosie?”

Alex exhaled a frustrated sigh. “You’re not the only one who’s living with secrets. They love Rosie, probably more than they love me. They’re going to be de-va-sta-ted. Can you come out to them first to help soften the blow. Kidding.”