Page 67 of Out of Bounds

Even though neither had said anything, they felt like boyfriends. They’d done everything but flat-out use the word. Yet it was a bridge Brennan hesitated to cross. Having a boyfriend was a definitive step toward leaving the closet, something Cliff did not want to do. Brennan didn’t want to be in another secret relationship like he was with Paul. Whenever he was uncertain about the direction of this quasi-relationship, Paul manifested in his mind, whispering dark thoughts in his weasley voice.

He’ll be with his family and his team, two places where he doesn’t want you.

Would the Warners really want you as part of their family?

What if you’re just not good enough to be his boyfriend?

* * *

Spendingthe weekend by himself wasn’t the depressing event he feared. A few of his classmates also didn’t go home. Rachel’s parents decided to take a trip to Maui to work on their sex life, so they could truly be there for their patients. For Thanksgiving, he went to her apartment where they and a few other students put together an “Island of Misfit Toys” potluck. Chris turned out to be a fantastic cook; his turkey was juicy and a worthy centerpiece to their meal.

They talked about school and classes, but soon, conversations gravitated to deeper subjects. Rachel talked about her grandmother, who’d died of breast cancer when she was a girl, and how she was her inspiration for her work. Chris shared his experiences growing up sexually fluid in a Mormon household and why he still chose to practice the religion.

Brennan found the food and the company so engrossing that he didn’t check his phone all night. His heart beamed at the text messages from Cliff wishing him a happy Thanksgiving and giving him a rundown of how much food he ate. Maybe next year they could spend the holidays together.

On Friday and Saturday, Brennan enjoyed the clear schedule of no classes, no homework, and no responsibility. He worked on his current pieces for the Quarterly Showcase most of Friday, taking a midday break for a movie.

Brennan’s monk-like existence was broken on Saturday night from three missed calls from Alex--and two missed text messages.

Whare r u?

Pick up.

He immediately called him back.

“Hey.” Brennan waited for him to talk, since he obviously had something to say. “What’s up? How’s Paris?”

“Rosie dumped me.”

“Shit.” Brennan paced in front of the windows of his loft, only seeing his own reflection. “What happened?”

“I showed up at her dorm, and she didn’t seem that happy to see me.” His voice had a sing-songy wobbly tone that meant he’d drowned his sorrows in some well-deserved alcohol. “And the next morning, she told me she’d met someone else. Another guy studying abroad. He goes toDuke. His name isBen.” Alex spat out the words like they were sour milk.

“I’m sorry. Fuck, that sucks.” Brennan wished he had something more eloquent to say.

“She was like ‘I’m so sorry, Alex. I didn’t mean for this to happen.’ Blah blah blah.”

Brennan wasn’t used to hearing his friend sound unglued. Alex knew how to keep an even keel and not let anything get to him. But some things were too big to let slide off one’s back. Brennan cringed before he asked: “Did you wind up buying that ring you showed me?”

“You know it.” A glimmer of humor. Not all was lost.

“Save it for the right girl.”

“What the hell? I was in love with her. We were going to spend our lives together.”

It was another relationship that flamed out in spectacular fashion. That was the trouble with falling in love. No matter how much Alex loved Rosie, she could easily kick him to the curb. Maybe it was for the best that Cliff didn’t want to be in a relationship with him, although thinking that caused a pain to lance his heart.

“We had plans to move to Washington and change the world. Now she’s probably going to move to New York because Ben’s from theUpper West Sideand he plans to go intoinvestment banking. Oh wait. Excuse me! It’s calledi-banking. Ben made sure to correct me.”

“What a tool.” This trip sounded like a car crash in slow motion. Brennan wanted to hop a jet and take Alex on an epic pub crawl to forget about Rosie. “Did you spend all weekend with them?”

“Hell, no.” He sounded excited, which gave Brennan hope. “I skipped their stupid Thanksgiving feast andBen’s turkeyand went to the nearest bar I could find. It turned out to be a gay bar.”

Brennan’s eyebrows jumped at the possibilities where this story could go.

“This guy recognized my Browerton sweatshirt I was wearing. He had gone to Browerton! He and his boyfriend were in Paris for the weekend and invited me to stay in their hotel room. What are the odds?”

“That’s awesome.” Brennan’s mind reeled with scenarios.