Page 21

CHAPTER

TWENTY-ONE

ANNALISE

M y brain hurts as dueling emotions square off within my skull. The high of wrapping a movie that might turn out to be the best I’ve done mixed with the low of leaving this place that has brought me so much joy and Jaden has my head pounding.

After a long shower, I can still feel Jaden everywhere. I can see him places too, like below my collarbone, where I’m sure he purposely left a hickey. I can’t even be mad. The truth is my heart twists when I see the memory of Jaden’s mouth on my skin.

Last night was stupid on my part. I should’ve known better. I fear I made a mess of a beautiful friendship. I know that Jaden wanted more, and maybe in a different world, it could work, but not in this one. We’re too different.

Miranda’s voice startles me. I didn’t hear her enter. “Everything from the trailer is packed and in the car. You almost set here?”

I turn from the pile of clothes on my bed that is far from packed.

She gasps. “Anna! Why are you crying?”

I am? I lift the palm of my hand to my face to find wetness. “I…I didn’t realize I was. That’s weird.” I plaster on a smile. “It’s nothing.”

She purses her lips, lifting her brows. “The hickey on your chest says otherwise.”

Bringing my hand to my chest, I quickly cover it.

“Too late. Already saw it. Spill it.”

I sigh. “I slept with Jaden last night.”

“Obviously.” She nods. “And?”

I lift my shoulders. “I don’t know. I’m going to miss him. I really loved it here.”

She gives me a warm smile. “I know. I did, too.” She joins me by the bed and starts folding my clothes. “Can I remind you that you’re both millionaires? You have the money to fly across the country and see each other whenever you want. He travels for work and quite often out west. You can meet him. When you’re not on location, you can be here. It could work if you want it to.”

“I don’t want a relationship,” I counter.

“Why?”

“You know why. It’s not time. I’m not going to be tied down. I want to focus on my career. Plus, Jaden and I are different. We don’t fit in each other’s worlds.”

“Well, that’s not true. Anna, I know you love your work, but what will it take to prove to yourself that you’re worthy? You think some gold statue of a naked guy given to you by stupid academy members means anything? They don’t get to dictate your worth. Their opinion means nothing.”

“I know.” I choke on a sob. “But I have to show them that I was right.”

Tears fall as I think back to the intervention my parents put me through. I was seventeen when they sat me down with a couple of their closest friends, other actors I’ve known my whole life. They all took turns telling me why I wasn’t cut out for this business, why I would be happier doing something…anything else. They assured me that I didn’t possess the talent or aptitude to learn the skills required to be a respected actor. They made me feel so small that the weight of that day still pushes me down today. Those people, who I thought loved me, shattered my heart. The worst part is a little piece of me believed them. I almost quit. I probably would’ve if it wasn’t for Miranda. She’s been my closest friend since I was twelve and, at points in my life, the only one who’s believed in me.

“Honey.” Miranda takes my hands in hers, tears now rolling down her cheeks. “They don’t matter. You know that you will never be enough for them. The only person you have to be enough for is yourself.”

“I want them to see me.” My voice cracks with emotion. “Just once, I want them to be proud, realize they were wrong, and tell me I’m talented. That’s not too much to ask of one’s parents.”

She squeezes my hands. “Normal parents, no. But Anna, you were raised by narcissists. They will never give you the validation you want. I’m so sorry because you’re the sweetest person in the world and deserve better, but that’s the reality. They will never love you like they should because they’re too stuck on themselves. But you can’t let their issues ruin your life. You have to let their expectations go...” She pulls me into a hug. “You have to love yourself.”

I hold my dearest friend as my tears continue to fall. “I’m just tired. I didn’t sleep last night.”

Miranda chuckles. “That good, huh?”

Stepping back from our embrace, I swipe my fingers under my eyes to wipe my tears. “Better.”

Her head falls back. “We have a lot to talk about. But first, you need to get packed. We were supposed to be on the plane an hour ago.”

“So what? They can wait.”

“That’s the spirit.” The hotel phone rings, and Miranda picks it up. “Hi. Walter. Sure. Send him up.” She hangs up. “Speaking of the sex god. He’s on his way up.”

“What?” I shriek.

Amusement dances in her eyes. “I’m going to go run some errands, maybe hang out with Walter for a bit. Call me when you’re packed and ready.”

She heads toward the elevator and greets Jaden as he steps out of it.

Miranda steps in, and as the doors close, she makes a heart with her hands and shoots me what I’m sure is meant to be a reassuring smile, but I’m nothing but nerves as Jaden makes his way toward me.

“Hey.” He fixes me with his gaze, frowning. “Are you crying?”

I shake my head. “Just tired. What’s up? Aren’t you supposed to be at practice?”

He stands before me. “I told him I was puking, stomach bug. I had to see you before you left. I didn’t like the way things ended this morning.”

“I’m sorry. I know I kind of ran out of there, but I had a lot of packing to do.”

He takes my hand and moves us to the bed. We sit facing each other. “I…” He swallows. “I have never been in a relationship.”

I open my mouth to stop him, but he raises his hand. “Just hear me out. I’ve never been in one because I’ve never wanted to be in one. I know you say everything between us is fake, but I don’t buy it. I may not have a lot of experience when it comes to relationships, but I’m not an idiot. You and I have something… something really great. I don’t know how to describe it, but I want to say that we work. We get along great, have fun, and just… fit. You know?”

I raise my hand. “Jaden, stop. All of that is true. We’ve had a remarkable time together. It’s nothing to do with you. I’m just not in the right space for a relationship, especially a long-distance one.”

He bites his bottom lip. “I just feel that if I let you walk away, I’m going to lose the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“We’ll still see each other. You promised Miranda and me tickets to your Cali games. And depending on how the awards show season pans out, I might need you then. As far as anyone knows, we’re still dating. We’ve definitely had enough face time in the tabloids this month to keep that story going for a while. We’ll stay friends.”

The longing in his eyes shoots a pang of sorrow straight to my heart. “I don’t want to be your friend, Anna, or at least not just your friend. I want to be more.”

I press my hand to my chest. “I’m sorry. I can’t give you more.”

He scoots closer to me, our legs touching. “Anna, against all odds, we were brought together. In a world where I should’ve never known you, we met. And we’re so good together. I can’t figure out what you’re so afraid of, but I will always protect you. You may be able to shield the truth of what we have from yourself, but don’t forget that I lived it, too, and I know it was real. We were given one fucking chance, and if you’re brave enough to take it, it could change your life. I’m just asking for a chance to prove how good we could be.”

I swallow hard. “You know I don’t gamble.”

“Just this once. Take a chance, and you might get lucky. I promise you, it’s worth a shot,” he pleads.

I close the space between us and circle my arms around his back, holding him tight. He reciprocates. His strong arms hug me back, and I sigh in relief. I can’t deny that being wrapped in Jaden’s embrace is one of my favorite places to be. He makes me feel cherished and so safe.

He holds me close to his chest and kisses the top of my head. “I know this was all supposed to be fake, and I pretended it was, but the truth is, it was always real to me. I was utterly enchanted with you from the very beginning. Somewhere along the line, I fell in love. I didn’t mean to, and I know I wasn’t supposed to, but that doesn’t change the fact that I did, and I think you did, too.”

My heart twists at his words. “Jaden…”

“I don’t need you to promise me forever right now. I just need you to give me a chance. Please, Anna.”

I lean back so I can look into his eyes. “I love you, Jaden. I do. I just need time.”

He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “You can have all the time in the world. I’m not going anywhere… besides California to visit you, of course.”

I grin. “I really picked the wrong guy to fake date, didn’t I?”

“If you wanted a guy who you wouldn’t fall for, then yeah, you did. However, from where I’m sitting, I think it’s going to turn out just fine.”

“I hope so.”

“We can figure it out, and it doesn’t have to be today. You can have tomorrow, too, and even till the end of the week if you need it.” His signature sexy smirk is back, and the weight of the day is gone. A few minutes in his presence and I already feel better.

“Very funny.”

He raises a brow. “So last night. That was…” He pulls his bottom lip into his mouth, his brown eyes appearing darker.

I pull in a breath and nod. “Yeah, it was.”

“While you’re taking this time, we should explore that a little more. Don’t you think?”

I lean forward and give him a chaste kiss. “We might be able to work something out.”

“I can’t wait.” He cups my face in his hands and deepens the kiss.

We’ve kissed a lot, and just like all those kisses in front of the paparazzi, this one is deliciously real, too.