Page 15

CHAPTER

FIFTEEN

ANNALISE

I realize I might be lonely. If I’m honest, the night should’ve ended after the photos from the tipped-off paparazzi were taken. There’s no reason to be here. The point of the dates is to keep up with the facade that we’re together. We did that.

Snuggled up on the sofa with Jaden isn’t propelling any story. There are no witnesses or photographic evidence. It’s just us. I’m not even sure how I ended up in this position. My back against Jaden’s front, our legs stretched out across the sofa. His arms are wrapped around my middle. We’ve talked about our lives, laughed at the show, and have remained in silence tangled up in one another’s arms.

It’s obvious this whole night is going above and beyond our agreement, but I like it. I’m happy, comfortable, and at peace. Three words that would not usually be used to describe me. I’m normally a neurotic mess, always worrying, planning, and chastising myself for underachieving.

I’m never just happy.

Until now.

Jaden is unlike any friend I’ve ever had. He’s outgoing, charming, and confident. At the same time, he’s calming and safe. He’s so far removed from my world that I feel as if I can let it all go while I’m with him. And I want to be here with him. It feels like a needed break from the everyday chaos that engulfs me.

I’m starting to recognize that while people constantly surround me, my life is a lonely one. The only person I truly trust is Miranda. She’s the best friend a girl could ask for, and I know she’d do anything for me. But Jaden brings something different, a protection I didn’t know I craved.

Jaden and I slide farther down onto the sofa until we’re lying across it. I turn in his arms to face him. “When did you know you wanted to play professional hockey for a living?”

He swipes a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. “I think I’ve always known. Our apartment was by a park with a small lake. Our neighbors had a boy my age. He gave me an old pair of his skates, and the two of us would play on the frozen lake all winter. His dad told me I was a natural. I don’t know, I guess I liked the compliments. After that, I asked my mom to join a league, and I never looked back. How about you? When did you know you’d be an actor?”

“Same. I feel like I always knew. Truthfully, it was kind of expected, right? Growing up as the only child of two of the darlings of Hollywood. I, along with everyone else, just assumed I’d follow in my parents’ footsteps. But it was something I wanted to do. I love the industry. I grew up engrossed in this life, and I was fascinated by it.” I leave out the part about the crippling self-doubt that comes with this line of work because that’s just not a good look on anyone.

He drags his fingers up and down my back, and my skin starts to pebble beneath my sweater.

He clears his throat. “So this thing that we’re doing. How long do you see it going on? Do you have a timeline in mind?”

“Well, I guess it depends on the awards season. If I’m invited, I’d need you there for that. My father insisted that I be on Simon’s arm on all red carpets, stating it was a better look for me than going alone.”

“When is awards season?”

“January through March.”

Jaden absentmindedly bobs his chin in thought. “Have you thought about standing up to your father? Telling him that he doesn’t get to dictate what you do with your life, given that you’re a twenty-six-year-old adult?”

I lean my head back to look Jaden in the eyes. “Do you not want to do the fake dating thing anymore?”

He shakes his head. “No, that’s not it at all. I offered to do this, and I’m still committed to that. I just hate that your father thinks he has a say in what you do with your life. You’ve gotten to where you are with your hard work and talent. You don’t have to answer to him.”

“Thank you. I appreciate that. I do. But trust me… it’s just easier this way.”

We’re silent for a few moments. Jaden’s face is only a breath from mine. I take in his features, and my body warms. I question why I don’t feel awkward openly observing him as I am. But I don’t. He must emit calming pheromones because when I’m near him, I’m different. I can’t explain it.

After a beat, he clears his throat. “I should probably get you back. We both have early mornings.”

“Yeah,” I agree, though neither of us move. I take in his long, dark lashes that frame the beautiful browns focused on me.

I know I should sit up and slide off the sofa, but my mind has lost all communication with my muscles. I’m frozen in this space of lingering stares and weighted breaths. My body aches to be closer to his, to feel the pressure of his hands on me. This physical yearning is at complete odds with my brain that’s sounding warning bells of retreat. The cautionary sirens muted beneath the explosive beats of my heart.

Unable to withstand the intensity of our connection for another second, I close my eyes.

And then I feel it…

His lips on mine.

With a quick intake, I inhale a shared breath and release a whimper of relief.

He threads his fingers through my hair, sliding them against my scalp. Goose bumps erupt over my skin as my mouth moves against his. My tongue enters his mouth first, eager to deepen the kiss. His grip on my scalp grows as he holds my face against his. Our kiss is deep, desperate, and insanely delicious. I feel the effects of this connection throughout every cell of my body.

The needy ache between my legs burns, and I move my hips forward in search of relief. The movement produces a deep groan from Jaden, and his hips push toward me, his hard desire evident. He removes one of his hands from my hair and slides it down my body. Even through my clothes, his touch singes my skin. I’m an inferno desperate to explode.

I’m wrapped up in our kiss, barely aware of his movements below. In the far recesses of my mind, I’m aware that he’s unbuttoned my jeans and is moving them down my pelvis, but the kiss is too magical for me to pay the actions any mind until his finger enters me.

I pull my mouth from his as the pleasure from his touch courses through my body. My interior walls clench around his finger, inviting him in. His strokes feel so good as he curves his finger to stroke my front wall and all the needy nerves that reside there.

Head back and eyes clenched shut, I release a moan of pleasure. He’s fucking me with his finger, and I don’t want him to stop. The sensations are too good, and I know this is just the beginning. I want him to make me come with just a finger. I want his dick to fill me up and push me to new heights of pleasure, and I have no doubt he will. It’s evident that Jaden knows a woman’s body. He will make me feel so good, and I desperately want it.

I do.

I want it so badly my body quakes with need.

It takes every bit of willpower I possess during a sliver of clarity to stop it. I shove my hands against his chest and push myself off the sofa and away from his touch. “No!”

My body hits the floor, knocking the lust from me. I scramble to my feet and hurry to zip up and fasten my jeans.

Jaden stands from the sofa, his face confused and his stance shaky as he no doubt tries to take in the scene before him through a haze of desire. “Anna, I’m sorry… I thought you wanted…”

I hold up my hand, halting his explanation. “No, I did, but we can’t.”

He drags the palms of his hands down his face. “Did I do something wrong?”

I blow out a breath. “No. Not at all. You were fine, and for a moment, I thought maybe… but we can’t go there. It will complicate everything.”

“Complicate everything, how?”

I move my hand between us. “This isn’t real, Jaden. We aren’t together. All that”—I motion toward the sofa—“will confuse things.”

He rubs the nape of his neck. “It doesn’t have to. I’m fully aware of our arrangement. I know this isn’t real, but we can have fun.”

“It’s just that I know I don’t want more, and I’m afraid if we go there , feelings will be involved, and people will get hurt. I don’t want to hurt you.”

He releases a dry laugh. “I’m not naive enough to think that sex equals love. In fact, I’ve had a lot of sex in my life, and it has never led to love. It can just be fun.”

I throw my hands up. “I’m not the just-for-fun type of girl, Jaden. I’m sorry. Boundaries are essential for me. I have plans for my career, and right now, that is all that matters. Sex is a distraction, and it’s messy. I can’t control the feelings that result from it, and I don’t want to add any more to my plate.”

He shrugs. “Okay. Fine. I get it.”

I nod.

“I should probably get you back.” He moves toward the foyer.

I agree and follow him out the door.

On the way back to the hotel, he makes an effort to give me a smile every couple of minutes. I know him well enough to know that they’re not genuine, but I appreciate him making an effort to show me that we’re all good.

Only, I don’t feel good about the way the night ended. It was perfect until I ruined it. I know I did what I had to do by stopping it. I’ve gone over everything in my mind, and I’m certain a casual fling with Jaden isn’t in either of our best interests.

The only thing I can’t figure out is why I feel so awful. If I made the right call, why does my heart ache as if I didn’t?